Celebrity Offspring Bans The Word "Fat"
Saw this tidbit about Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s son James (who I believe is 5 years old) and his hate of the word “fat.”
Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker have been banned from using the word `fat’ at home – by their politically correct young son. Little James Wilke insists the word upsets him more than any expletive.
Broderick explains, “You’re not even supposed to call people fat according to him. I guess that’s nice because it isn’t a very nice word and he’s very sensitive about it.”
Interesting. I obviously don’t feel that it’s “not a very nice word” if you reclaim it and own it and rah rah all of that, but I do feel it can be hurtful to people who aren’t all “fat pride!” about it. It used to be very hurtful to me, to be called fat. And we’ve seen that kids can be very hurt by the idea that they are “fat.”
So my question is: how do you feel about the word fat? Does that word have power over you, or has it ever? And if we teach our kids that the word “fat” is just a statement of fact and that it’s not a bad word… could we end up doing more harm than good? Let me know what you think.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Celebrities, Kids, Question, Sarah Jessica Parker, Tidbit
Let’s see: “Living off the fat of the land”; “…the fatted calf”; “fat city”; “that’s phat!” We LIKE the word “fat” – it’s an honest word, nothing remotely pc about it. I stopped using “plus-size” as a descriptive years ago. What was I? I was FAT, by God, and proud of every gorgeous, sexy, healthy inch and ounce.
On the down side: ANY word so fraught , when used as a perjorative, is just downright mean, generally used by thoughtless fatphobes. Think of it as the large-(and not as in “livin’ large”) scale version of the n-word.
Then there’s the universal cry of “Does this dress make me look fat?” and there’s nothing to be done about that.
On balance, “fat”, when correctly used is a fine word, and one that fits me and many others like a nice, big, glove. Ahhh, FAT! Long may it wave!
I use the term fat as a descriptor. Mind you, I am careful not to use it to describe men and women who aren’t aware of my feelings about fat acceptance, because for most people, “fat” is a pejorative.
I don’t think it should be seen as a pejorative, though. I feel that reclaiming the word “fat” is very important. Overweight and obese both sound like symptoms or diseases, rather than descriptors of a body type, and so I avoid using them whenever possible. When I do use the word fat, I try and make clear that I mean it in NO way as a pejorative. I am fat myself, after all, and I proudly describe myself as such. If I have children, I will teach them that “fat” is no more harmful than “tall” or “short.” (Of course, both of those words can be used pejoratively, but that is something I would also make clear is unacceptable).
It’s a small thing, but it’s something I find important to do for fat acceptance.
My mom wielded it like a weapon, but none of the threats she associated with it ever came true (You’ll “never go to prom”, “never make the team”, “never find a husband”, “never succeed in business”, etc.), so it was easy for me to own it and use it for what it is–a perfectly serviceable adjective. I reclaimed it so long ago that I really don’t have a problem with it these days.
I used to be very hurt by the term fat, and I would avoid using the word at all costs. I preffered the word overweight. However, as I got older I heard more and more people use euphanisms for fat, such as bbw and full figured. I thought this was stupid and I began to like the word fat.
Once I got offended when someone called me morbidly obese. I looked it up, and I actually WAS morbidly obese, but I still don’t like word. I don’t want to be “morbidly” anything.
I love the word. As I said on my own blog, it’s a good Anglo-Saxon word. It’s short, sweet, direct. Personally, I “claim” it (just as gay people claimed “queer;” just as feminists in earlier eras “took back the night.”)
I don’t know that I will ever be comfortable using the word “fat” simply as a descriptor because it was the insult of choice used against me for all the years of my youth. My discomfort stems from my own ingrained and unconscious emotional reaction to it.
I support the idea of reclaiming it as what it is – a simple adjective that’s been horribly abused. I just don’t know if I will ever be able to get past my own issues with it.
This won’t be a popular opinion, but I hate the word fat as well — it just seems so… MEAN. And judgmental. The word overweight, I think, is a much nicer, more clinical word; less personal, less of a judgment call…
But that’s just me. And yes, I used to be very very very fat, and probably have a lot of issues about it. Probably? Shit. I have a lot of issues about it.
I like “fat” better than overweight or obese, because the “o” words imply that there is a normal weight (and it isn’t me) I’m trying to reclaim the word “fat”, but it is hard. It’s hard to hear it.
I’ve loved Sarah Jessica Parker’s and Matthew Broderick’s work, but I don’t love the way the media seems to think that their five year old is a pundit. His endorsement of a presidential candidate during the primaries made the news headlines on Yahoo, which was just ludicrous.
(I’m not picking on you for posting this here, Mo. Just picking on society’s adulation of celebrities in general.)
You know, I’ve been thinking about this recently. I think “fat” absolutely shouldn’t be a bad word. It’s not a bad thing. It just is, same as “skinny” or “curvy” or “tall,” none of which are moral judgments. I am all in favor of reclaiming “fat” as nothing more than a simple adjective.
But. As a person whose natural shape falls into the straight sizes, the word carries enough pejorative baggage with it that I’m just screamingly uncomfortable using it to describe someone else, when I’m not clearly in an FA environment. I don’t want to send the message that I think “fat” is a bad word. But in the context of the outside world, I would be really, really hesitant to use the word about another person, for fear of it sounding hateful (or making me sound like I’d be open to other people being hateful).
I saw SJP talk about this on Oprah. She said they ban the word b/c they find it hateful, which I thought was ridiculous.
I have brown hair, I wear glasses and I am fat. It is a descriptive term and it doesn’t have to be offensive. It can be offensive if used in a derragatory manner, but so can lots of descriptive words depending on how it’s used.
They should teach their son to value and respect people regardless of the color of their skin, religion or size (among other things). Not to pretend that we all look the same.
I’m comfortable enough with the word fat that these days I no longer flinch at it or respond to the cue that this is supposed to be an insult.
However, there’s a lot of “closeted fatties” – folks who know they’re in a 20 but are trying to imagine they’ll be a 10 any day now. I was one of these folks for so many years. I wouldn’t out them as fat anymore than I’d out a closeted gay friend. I may, however, point them this-a-way.
I used to hate it as a kid, now that’s how I refer to myself when mentioning my size. Although my BMI puts me in the morbidly obese category, there is nothing morbid about me or my body and I sure ain’t on death’s door yet.
I actually think obese and overweight is a more offensive word, because it’s used by medical professionals and the media like some doomsday device, and it implies that I’m riddled with diseases up the ying-yang.
Now, fat to a person perhaps in the 0-8 range and in-betweeners may be a more loaded word, but to someone like me who is B-I-G and a size that’s just on the brink of being reduced to online shopping only, the stigma ended for me years ago.
See, I like “fat” a lot more than “overweight.” Fat is a descriptor. Overweight is a diagnosis. Over WHAT weight? I like to use my dog as an example.
My dog is fat. He is not, however, overweight. Why? He’s half corgi. They are barelly, lumbery, chubby animals (that are so freakin’ cute, especially with a side of papillion, like my little baby). Pandas? Fat. Not overweight. Me? Fat. I have been my “correct” weight (suck it, BMI) and was very, very, very sick and very, very, very unhealthy.
So, yes, I am over THAT weight (in more ways than one ;) but I am at the right weight for me, even though I, like my potbellied dog, am fat.
SP, that’s how I see it too. I use the word fat to describe myself, but I don’t use it to describe other people unless I’m in an FA context, because I know to most people “fat” is a hurtful word that carries negative connotations. Since I don’t like term “overweight” either, I usually use “big” or “large” to describe fat people if I don’t feel comfortable referring to them as fat.
So I understand the idea behind: “It’s not a nice word”, because the way most people use it, it isn’t. But if I was going to ban something in my own house, it would be using the word fat as an insult, not using the word fat altogether.
Like many others who posted above, I would never assume to use the word “fat” to someone b/c who knows what kinds of emotions that word can cause in others.
Personally, i don’t take offense to it on its own. The word FAT, in and of itself, means nothing to me. It is a descriptive word. And in my case, accurate.
Where it gets to be more of a cruel word is when it’s used in conjunction with other words. “you’re a FAT SLOB”, even though I am not a slob. There, the term slob is obviously negative, and the fact that anyone would assume that a person who is fat must therefore also be a slob is insulting.
Yeah, I’m on the edge of plus sizes, I would be uncomfortable applying fat to either myself or others in real life; because I don’t know how those around it would feel, I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. I have read too many stories about people who are fatter than I feeling bad about themselves when a smaller person calls themselves fat.
I also don’t like overweight or obese, though of them I prefer obese because it doesn’t have to mean too fat, just a certain amount of fatness. Overweight clearly means too much fatness, which bothers me now.
A year ago I would have completely freaked out by calling anyone fat, and would have thought overweight was more tactful than fat or obese. I think there are a lot of people like that out there still, and that makes it a sensitive word.
Generally I go with the standard euphamisms: large, curvy, well-endowed, junoesque, plump, sizable. And so forth.
I’ve never liked the word fat, particularly when used in connection with me. I’ve made my peace with it, after all, I am fat at this particular moment, but I still don’t much like it, mostly I think because of the negative connotation it carries. It would be nice if that word were just a statement of fact, but I think it still carries emotional weight for a lot of people.
sometimes I am offended by the word fat and other days I don’t take it offensively.
it really depends on the day and my mood…
I have personally re-claimed fat. I think it’s harder hearing it from outsiders, though–because they usually don’t mean it as a neutral descriptive term. Also, I clearly cannot talk about others’ fatness, since–as loads of you said–99% of the world sees it as an insult! So it’s tough.
I don’t think the actual word in itself is negative or bad at all.
I think for myself it was the negative intent behind the use of the word, not only by other kids to me, but by my own mother who neurotically kept her weight in check when she was young.
Before I had a weight problem I perceived fat as bad by watching my mother and how she loathed any miniscule weight gain.
Then to be chubbier later on and get called fat by my peers made it even worse, because I had been disposed to thinking fat was bad.
So honestly it has always been a struggle being called fat because of how in my childhood I saw my mother ridicule her own body (which was really thin).
Wow typing this out just revealed alot of things I never thought about before!
It hasn’t been until the past year or so that I really began to realize how my mother was the one who was distorted and probably contributed to me emotionally eating as a child!
I have ambivalent feelings about the word fat, I tend to use large, curvy etc in preference when describing others but have no problem using fat to describe myself.
About a year ago I was having a conversation with my sister-in-law as we wandered around the zoo with our kids and she mentioned that she’d recently had occasion to tell my 7 year old niece off for using “the F word” and yep, she meant fat not the other one. My niece had, in all innocence, used it to describe someone she’d seen.
I was surprised at the level of anger I felt. I pointed out that by demonising the word itself and teaching her daughter that it was a horrible, awful, nasty thing to say she was also teaching that fat was a horrible, awful, nasty thing to be. With my kids I’ve taught that although “fat” is just a description that it’s not a good idea to make a big deal about any aspect of anyone’s physical appearance because you don’t know how they might feel about it, so we don’t go around telling people they are fat (or short, or very tall, or have a funny nose…).
I agree with the idea amongst the fatosphere that we should reclaim the word fat. I’d much rather be called fat than obese. Cause I feel obese insinuates there’s something diseased about being fat, when we know the facts say that it’s actually thin people who are at more of a health risk.
I have to wonder how and why their spawn picked up that fat is such a bad word. Obviously he had to get it from somewhere and at 5, my bet is on the parents. It’s so nice to see anti-fat training in action at the youngest of ages, especially when one of those parents purports to make her fashion line extend into plus-sizes because “fashion knows no size” or whatever schpeel they have playing at Steve & Barrys. In other words, she hates fatness but she’s glad to take the money of fat people. Nice, SJP, nice.
I’ve reclaimed the word fat and don’t find it offensive, but I know other people do so I use caution in throwing the term around liberally. But fat is just a descriptor, just like we identify people as white or black, male or female. If people think of fat pejoratively, the onus is on them to examine their own bias towards people of size.
I’m still in the process of reclaiming the word “fat.” I’ve come to the point where I can use it to describe myself without any hidden context – it is what it is.
But hearing somebody else say that word to me? Still hurts. I have high hopes that one day, I’ll be able to hear that word being said to me and it won’t bother me in the least, but right now I know that when somebody calls me fat, 99.99999% of the time what they really mean is “disgusting, ugly, worthless, etc.” And that’s a really hard thing to ignore, especially when you’ve been hearing it all of your life from several different sources.
But I’m working on it.
I like luscious, voluptuous, curvy, curvaceous. I also like comedienne Mo’Nique’s definition of of FAT as Fabulous and Thick.
I’m with mimbles, we use it, but tell our kids that some people are offended by its use. At the same time, we let them know that other descriptive words can be offensive. Friends of mine who are slender, point out that no one thinks twice to point out when someone is skinny, but there have certainly been times when they have felt criticized or have been in a place in their life where they were aware that they were, in fact, too skinny and unhealthy. Feelings were unintentionally hurt…Something to think about.
I don’t recall having been called ‘fat’ by anyone, nor have I ever applied the word ‘fat’ to myself. When I was a youngster, my brothers used nicknames that certainly meant ‘fat’, such as Beefy Oxo (the bouillon cube), Tubby the Tuba, etc. I thought of myself as overweight from my mid-twenties onward, because I was heavier than the weight I wanted to be.
‘Fat’ is a word that makes some people uncomfortable, so in my writing, I use it sparingly and try to use it in a neutral fashion, if such a thing is possible.
I don’t mind “fat” as a descriptor, as other people have said. The word I hate is “obese”. It’s ugly. It looks ugly, it sounds ugly, it just makes me cringe.
To be honest it still hurts me when I get the name-calling idiots telling me I’m fat. Just the other day some girl said what a ‘fat arse’ I have.
I don’t think being thin is attractive. I find it very unappealing. I think a little weight on a woman is good – we’re supposed to be curvy. So I’m normally proud of who I am. But for some reason…whenever the f-bomb is dropped, I can’t help but feel offended. I guess it goes back to the name-calling we all used to get – it’s an old stigma.
I don’t think fat is a ‘bad’ word. I think the way it’s used has the potential to be ‘bad.’
And, I think admonishing it from the house, or the vocabulary is in some way making it worse.
I’ve tried reclaiming the word “fat”; I have! It’s just that when I use in in a very carefully positive non-fishing way in regards to myself, I STILL get the “You’re not fat!” reaction.
I’m 5’4″, weigh anywhere between 185 and 195 lbs, and wear a 14 or a 16 in dress sizes. I’m happy with my body, but I AM fat, and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING FAT. The problem is that we’re trying to change our bodies to fit the clothing when how much easier (and less painful, to boot!) would it be to change the clothing?
Honestly.. I hate the word Fat as well, because it’s usually hurled as an insult and I just can’t start OWNING it. You know?
I like the word corpulent. Fat conjures up schoolyard teasing. It’s bad enough being called that, let alone using it on yourself. I refuse to participate!
Corpulent, is sort of regal and naughty at the same time. :).
I would like to see James become involved with the fat acceptance community. He seems to have the right idea, he just doesn’t know the issues. Like, now fat isn’t an insult but obese is. Most kids wouldn’t know that, cause they’re just told saying fat is bad.
James seems like he’s going to grow up to be a fine, smart, and compassionate man.
I don’t really like or use the word “fat” much when referring to people, because to me it’s less of a descriptor of a person or thing and more of a noun – a substance that’s found beneath our skin and is usually jiggly, or something that some foods contain and is yummy.
It disgusts me when I see young girls pinching themselves and saying “I’m so fat!” because they are NOT fat, they may HAVE some fat, but we all do! We need our fat. There are some people with more fat on their bodies, but that’s just the way they’re made. But no one in my family ever *really* struggled with obesity. I struggled for a few years with being a little bigger than I really wanted to be and having more fat than I wanted (like 40 lbs more) but I lost the weight and now I like what I look like.
When I was a kid, we had a puppy we named “Gordo” because he had a cute little pot belly and lots of fur. He was our endearing little Gordo.
Personally, I hate the word. I hate ANY word that has cruel intentions attached to it; no matter how ‘evolved’ we think we all are. I’m a gay, 200lb white male that would never use the word ‘fat’ to describe someone. Besides, how/why else would you even USE the word outside of nutritional values?
Think about these words and then decide if such a simple, 3 letter word still means anything. The ‘N’ word, the ‘C’ word, fag, jew, and so on. Sure these are extreme examples, but hey, that’s how ALL words get abused. While I don’t care to have celebs/media to tell me what word(s) are bad and shouldn’t be used in abuse, I think it’s an ideal solution for them to teach their young one(s) how to respect other humans. Hey, knowledge is power right. ps: I found this blog by accident and I’m trying to catch up, but great content and writting.
I hate euphemisms; words like “Big Beautiful Woman,” “curvy,” “Rubinesque,” they all come across to me as trying to minimize our weight or make excuses for it. I think the terms “overweight” and “obese” are useful to be able to show people, “THIS is what ‘overweight’ looks like, THIS is what ‘obese’ looks like, it’s not as big as you think,” but not as self-descriptors. I do feel a bit self-conscious about calling myself fat; I’m a “skinny fat person,” I suppose, only “moderately overweight,” and sometimes I feel that people must think I’m being self-deprecating when I describe myself as “fat.” But when I go to the doctor and he tells me that I need to eat less (without first asking me how much I eat) and exercise more (without first asking me how much I exercise) because I need to lose 50 pounds or I’ll get diabetes because my fat keeps my insulin levels high (without first checking my blood sugar to see if there’s a problem), I think it’s safe to say that other people consider me fat, and I think it’s wrong to hide behind euphemisms or insist that I’m “not THAT fat” instead of saying, “Yes, I AM fat, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
While people here may have claimed the word, most people have not, and still see it as an insult. And it’s a word children will sling as an insult, so as long as SJP and MB back up the ban with teaching him to accept people at any size, I think it’s a good thing.
If they simply ban it without reinforcing WHY, it won’t really do anything/
I actually believed I was ok with being called fat, I thought I was strong and confident enough to let being called fat slide right off of my back. How wrong I was, and all it took was a comment from a kid to make me realize again that being called fat is an insult.
Yesterday while at the pool, my boyfriend’s 8 year old son came up to me and said: OMG, YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO FAT!! I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE SOOOOOO FAT. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO FIND A BIG MAN TO RIDE YOU!!
Needless to say I was angry and hurt to the max, but I managed to calmly explain that what he had said was rude, mean and no one should ever make fun of the way someone looks because it might hurt them.
I understand the concept of claiming the word fat, but I just can’t bring myself to use the word to describe a person.