About the “rib cage measurement + 5″ rule - forget the +5. Just go with your rib cage measurement. The band will be hard to do up at first - you’ll only be able to do up the first set of hooks. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

Personally, I’ve tried buying bras over the internet, but they tend to be wasted money because they don’t fit properly. Find a local place that knows how to fit bras, and spend your money there.

E Pluribus Boobie

Does anyone else follow the rule of (a) measure around your chest (minus boobs) and add 5 for the band size and then (b) measure around the boobs, subtract band size, and calculate cup from there? If so, does it work for you?

No, that rule is all wrong. I have no idea why people recommend it. I actually wouldn’t recommend measuring at all, just try on a bunch of bras until you find one that meets the guidelines in Rebecka’s post.

it is a crazy stripper bra. (Pink see-through with orange ribbons.

Haha, I think I have that bra. I rarely wear it though, because the band is too big (despite being the same size that normally fits me in that brand. You would think a 36″ band would be 36″ across all manufacturers and models, but noooo.)

My best advice on bra shopping is to go to a department store’s lingerie department and try on every bra they carry in your size and sizes close to your size (ie I’m a 40D so I’ve tried 42D, 40C, 38D, 38DD, 42B, etc) and evaluate which size you can close on the middle hook and feels most comfortable and enables the most jumping. Then if it isn’t too much for your budget, buy it.

I don’t care what your taste in women is. Really. You can like women with purple left toenails who only wear clothes on Thursdays, I really do not care. Nor should I: it’s none of my business. As for how you explain it, it’s true, I don’t have to approve of it and you don’t have to care whether I do or not.

But let me say this: I can’t know anything about you other than what you put on this page. Nor can anyone else who reads it. Whoever you are, and whatever your story is, your initial comment echoes words that are used (by women as well as by men) to keep women in their place in the beauty hierarchy. You may not have meant that–in fact you can even disagree with me that “most people” would see that in your comment. But you can’t tell me that your comment didn’t provoke that reaction in me. Maybe it’s just me, and it’s entirely your prerogative to not give a flying f*ck what I think. But this is a big world and the chances that I am the only one who would see your comment that way are, in my opinion, small. Of course, even if that’s true, it’s STILL your prerogative not to give a flying f*ck.

But three things: 1) women participate in the awful, damaging “rating” of other women as well as men–the patriarchy (for lack of a better word) is not held up exclusively by the menfolk, so the fact that you are a woman really changes nothing about what I have to say.

2) I am used to being rated, all the time, everywhere, believe me. But being used to something and accepting it as “OK” are two very different things. I try to do something about it even if my only tool is a teaspoon.

3) You said: And, being a plus sized woman I am very aware of the long standing expectations of not only women but fat women and I don’t understand how anyone would feel the need to school anyone else on that struggle

Well, the answer is I DON’T feel the need to school you on that struggle. I feel the need to tell you how your comment came across to me, knowing nothing about you. All I could comment on was your words on the screen, not your experiences or anything else about you. And, as far as I am concerned, your “awareness” was not effectively communicated by your words.

http://www.herroom.com/

I LOVE it. The majority of bras that really fit me are british (and they don’t often go above a 40 band size, which sucks, but bra extenders aren’t that horrible.) For the original questioner, I think that they’d be her best bet, since they have a lot of variety in style for the smaller band/larger cup folks.

See - cute!
http://www.herroom.com/Felina-7975-Victoria-Full-Glamour-Semi-Demi–Bra.shtml

Herroom has good return policies, though there’s not free shipping, so that’s an issue. They do offer measurement charts for each manufacturer, but I recently tried a bunch of new styles, and had to send them all back to get new sizes, since fit is so nefarious of an issue.

Last little bits of advice:
- try not to dry your bras in the dryer, if you’re doing that. The heat helps the elastic stretch out more over time, which could be contributing to your band issues.
- if you have any favorites and you’re not afraid to sew, try shortening the bands with a crapload of zigzag stitches. It’s not the most elegant solution, but it is thrifty!
- above all, try on more bras than you can possibly imagine, then try on some more. There *are* good bras out there!