Plus-Sized And Pregnant
No, no, no, not me! But I received an email from my friend Jennifer, who is 36 weeks pregnant, and she graciously said I could reprint her words here. I found her thoughts about pregnancy as a plus-sized woman really fascinating, and I hope you will, too! She covers topics including maternity wear, the ups and downs of not “looking” pregnant, and loving her body. (Bolding is, as per usual, mine.)
Speaking of pregnancy, I’d love to see BFD someday address the weird sub-genre of being plus-sized and pregnant. It’s a whole new world that I never really thought about until eight months ago, but man, has it been an eye-opening experience for me. I mean, you have the usual body issues that pretty much every woman deals with these days, but then those are compounded by the extra challenges that larger women face, compounded by the “holy crap, now I really am HUGE” part that inevitably comes with expecting.
There are so many facets of being larger and pregnant that I could’ve never anticipated, both good and bad. For example: can I just tell you how hellish it is to find plus-sized maternity wear? All those cute shops like Mimi Maternity, Pea in the Pod, etc. — none of them carry above a size 12. That was frustrating, but not wholly unsurprising. What *was* a shock was what I observed at the more ubiquitous department stores like Macy’s, JC Penny, Sears, and Target: if they carry maternity wear at all, they don’t carry extended sizes. The only brick-and-mortar place that I could find that carried my size was Motherhood Maternity, and even then only certain stores have them. There are exactly three MM stores within a 25-mile radius of my home that stock plus sizes, and I live in the ‘burbs of Philadelphia. If I still lived in my hometown in Mississippi, I’d have to drive close to 100 miles to get to a store that had clothes to fit me.
Even if a woman is fortunate enough to have a MM within driving distance that keeps plus sizes in stock, the selection is pretty lame. In the store closest to my home, they carried maybe a half dozen different pairs of pants, two different pairs of shorts, about 20 different tops, and no activewear or dresses. The clothes themselves are hit-or-miss; I found a nice pair of slacks that work well in an office environment, and I really love the pair of jeans I found there, but the tops were pretty hideous all around, and the khakis were coarse and scratchy. In the end, I picked up a few pairs of pants, but ended up getting all my tops from Lane Bryant. I found I could just go a size up and focused on the shirts that had a babydoll cut or empire waist to them. So that part, at least, worked out quite well!
So in the end, many women end up having to order online. Online has the obvious advantage of having a much broader selection of styles, as well as retailers and smaller boutiques who carry extended sizes, but it also means taking on the risks associated with online clothing orders (wrong fit, returns hassles, paying shipping costs, etc.).
Another thing I didn’t anticipate? Not *looking* pregnant until the very end. I don’t have a very large non-pregnant belly, but man, did that extra fat conceal the fabled bump for months and months. If I pressed down on the area just below my navel, I could feel a new firmness there as my uterus grew, but it’s been weird to realize that I don’t look like how other pregnant women look (whether on the street or in the pregnancy books I bought) for most of the phases I’ve gone through. It’s kind of sad, in a way, because you hear so much about how the world treats pregnant ladies better — people give up their seats on trains, folks hold the door for you, etc. — and I haven’t gotten to experience any of that. It’s also kind of awkward for the people you encounter who aren’t sure whether or not you’re pregnant. And I feel for them, definitely, because most folks are essentially
kind, and they don’t want to take a risk humiliating you and embarrassing themselves in case you’re not pregnant, so they don’t ask about how far along you are or when’s your due date or whatever.So those are the major negatives that have proven to be challenging. But there is good stuff, too, I swear! First of all, the super-awesome upside of not quite looking pregnant is that I have yet to have some stranger try to touch my belly, ask invasive questions, give me unsolicited advice, or regale me with pregnancy horror stories, so that is a pretty significant plus. While I am open and friendly with the folks I know, I can be awkward and withdrawn with people I don’t know well or at all, so honestly, it’s been really nice not to have people feel like they can strike up a conversation with me just because I’m pregnant.
Secondly, even though finding plus-sized maternity wear was grueling and painful, I didn’t have to do so until I was well into my seventh month. So while the clothes at MM were occasionally hideous and unpleasant to wear, I, unlike skinnier moms-to-be, only had to deal with [maternity wear] for a short eight weeks. Hooray! And as a side note: God bless the ladies of Ingrid & Isabel, the geniuses behind the Bella Band! If you’re not familiar with it, the Bella Band is a stretchy piece of fabric that you can use to hold up your pants when they start to get too tight to button. You can wear your regular non-mat pants with the top undone, but the Bella Band holds them in place. Layered under a shirt, it looks just like the bottom of a camisole. That thing is BRILLIANT, and I have worn it almost every day. Also, I&I are one of the few retailers that acknowledges that there are, in fact, plus-sized mommies out there, so most of their stuff is available in a wide range of sizes.
Thirdly and most significantly: I have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that pregnancy has caused me to love my body more, not less. I cannot overstate how fundamentally shocked I am by this development. One of the biggest things that has kept me from wanting to get pregnant before now is outright (but understandable) vanity — I dreaded getting any larger than I already was. I feared seeing the numbers on the scale climb steadily upward, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. But the crazy thing is that once I got pregnant, I really didn’t care. I mean, I will readily acknowledge that part of this is probably due to the fact that I didn’t get the pleasure and annoyances of a hugely swollen belly, but I think most of it is that I’ve been able to be at peace with getting bigger. It’s not a big deal because it’s what’s supposed to happen, and hey, isn’t it kind of amazing that I am in the process of creating a whole new person!
I’m not yet at the awesome zen of “beautiful at any size”, but I am way, way more forgiving of myself and my weird, non-traditional pregnant shape than I could’ve ever guessed. And that’s been the most delightful discovery of all.
More on this issue: We talked about shopping for maternity clothes in this post, and Well-Rounded Mama has put together a (NSFW) photo gallery of fat women who are pregnant or giving birth. I would love to hear thoughts from you on the issues that women face when they are fat and pregnant.
Thanks for kick-starting the conversation, Jennifer, and best wishes for your new arrival. May you enjoy a labor that lasts 30 minutes or less!
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Advocacy, Fat Positive, Fatism, Guest Post, Health, Kids
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I had the added fun of being tall- so tall, plus sized and pregnant. If I could not sew, I would have had to wrap myself in a blanket by the 9th month. The tall plus-sized combo is also a problem for regular non maternity shopping, but there are a few things to be found.
The last time I was pregnant (nearly 4 years ago, now), I was able to find cute maternity wear at the Fashion Bug. Not all their stores had a maternity section, however, and I don’t see any maternity offerings on their website right now. Maybe they discontinued it. Too bad. :-(
Best wishes to your friend, Jennifer.
I love that she is finding pregnancy so delightful. I rather enjoyed it and like her, found accepting my pregnant body to be so much easier than accepting my normal body. One of my biggest steps in acceptance actually was the birth of my children. It just hit me how amazing my body is for carrying these perfect and wonderful children into the world and suddenly a whole new love and respect was found.
I didn’t have the issue though of not looking pregnant and with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, I was quite fat when I started out with a good size gut and still looked noticeably pregnant very early on. I know skinny women that don’t look pregnant until their 7th or 8th month, as well (hi sis!) so I don’t think it’s how much fat you have on your body so much as it is your genetics.
It’s been many years since I had to find maternity wear but I recall shopping for plus size maternity at Target. They no longer carry it? That’s a pity.
I got lucky w/ my second pregnancy b/c empire waist tops were all the rage and I could keep shopping at regular stores. I got my maternity wear from Motherhood Maternity and Old Navy (which was a lifesaver/moneysaver). Be wary of Motherhood’s sizing. I wore anything from a 1X to a 3X depending on the article of clothing.
I passed my maternity clothes on to another woman who was having problems but I think I still have some here. I should put them on eBay. But yeah, I even found a size 18 maternity swimsuit at a consignment store so I’d bet that resale places (eBay, consignment stores, thrift stores, etc.) are the best bet wherever you are.
Oh and forget about large size nursing bras. Never did find anything w/ any kind of support in my size. I wore demi-cups from Lane Bryant.
I loved being pregnant. I carried twins, so I never got that cute baby bump–I was just really large! I was very amused that people couldn’t tell whether I was just gaining more weight, or actually pregnant. I didn’t get much in the way of maternity clothes because even when I did find plus-sized clothing it was impractical-too expensive, or required ironing (ironing! With a belly!). Elastic waist pants were my friends.
I’ve never been pregnant, but a heads up for any plus size women who are, B and Lu has a style of dress (both their lock and key and owl dresses) that is the stretchiest, most forgiving piece of clothing I have ever met, I bought it in my size, and the thing will stretch enough that I can fit almost another me in it. So anyone looking for a dress, I’m pretty sure that it’d be able to worn through pregnancy, and be daily wear after.
I also remember finding a few Target plus sized maternity clothes 5 years ago when I was pregnant. I got most of mine from Baby Gap outlet store (they had the Gap Maternity clothes there). I bought an Unbra (www.decentexposures.com) to sleep in for nursing (I think I was a 40 DDD or DDDD when I was nursing). They sell one with hook or velcro but I got a regular one and just slid the bra down when I needed to nurse at night. I also wore this around the house; it wasn’t super supportive but it was very comfortable.
Stephanie, a quality lingerie store (NOT Motherhood, or Target) can often fit you out with larger nursing bras. Immediately after my twin pregnancy, my first nursing bras were a size 42E, and I tried on a couple Fs. The lingerie store didn’t even bat an eye, and the bras are much better quality than what you find in the chain stores.
It’s also a pretty simple matter to convert a regular bra to a nursing bra, if you can sew even a tiny bit — no sewing machine required.
I’m plus-sized and pregnant myself! 29 weeks! One additional issue that I would like to mention is that when you’re fat and pregnant, people are more hasty to curb your eating. If I talk about cravings with my mother she says not to “go crazy.” “You don’t want to gain too much weight.” I’ve known pregnant thin women who are encouraged to “splurge” while gestating. Never mind the fact that I’m still 8 pounds down from my prepregnancy weight. People react to that like it’s a good thing.
Eating intuitively is essential while pregnant. Many of my cravings have been for fresh fruit and veggies, so I eat them. But when I have a craving for a fresh-baked brownie, I don’t deprive myself.
Oh I can definitely agree with this! My mom was the same way, “remember, you need to eat healthier….go for walks it’ll make labor easier” I get it, alright!? My mom is amazing and she is just looking out for me but it is still super annoying as my skinny sister who is 1 month behind me in our pregnancies is not treated the same.
First time commenter, please be kind…:-) I was pregant in 2006 and bought most of my plus maternity clothes on ebay and jcpenney.com, but a lot of my regular clothes worked just fine too. My ‘bump’ didn’t really become obvious until I was nearly out of my second trimester – and it was handy that empire waist and tunic-style tops were coming back into style then.
The worst clothing challenge I had was finding decent nursing bras for big boobs (G-H cup.) I was really glad when that was over with and I could go back to my underwires.
I totally did not care about getting the big belly – I consider that a skinny woman’s neurosis. I made my peace with being a big girl years ago. I was quite proud of my baby belly during pregnancy and made sure I wore flattering tops that accented it.
As for weight gain – maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, but I had the interesting experience of my belly getting bigger while my weight stayed pretty much the same most of the way through. I had my son at 33 weeks (about eight months) and I’d only gained 10 pounds – some of which I lost during the four days I was in the hospital before his arrival.(I’d been having blood pressure issues so my OB-GYN sent me in for observation and they kept me there until she decided I should be induced.) Fortunately my son was perfectly healthy apart from being premature and you’d never guess it to look at him now.
I’d second the Bella Band (and you can find larger size versions of it on ebay!)
Also, it matters how you carry yourself, if you want to “look” pregnant. Granted, even as an 18/20, I showed in the second trimester, but still, since I was fat all over, the way I “signaled” it to folks was by how I stood (a stance that seems to be dictated, in part, by change of center of gravity). I found myself with legs spread apart, belly out, and one hand resting my lower belly.
The hand on belly thing is very useful. It really does seem to cue people that they’re looking at a pregnant belly.
Anyway, I agree that the clothing thing is miserable–not so much with tops as with bottoms.
I went to Target and bought black and brown leggings one and two sizes up and wore them with big shirts and dresses. Thankfully, the 80s are now back, so you can do this and still look terribly in style.
For plus sized nursing bras a friend recommended to me http://www.amplemama.ca/ It is a Canadian company, but the bras on it are about the third of the price I am used to paying for “normal” bras and I am looking forward to trying them out! She even recommended them to a friend of ours who hates underwires for her normal bras. I have been pretty lucky with clothes, I found some pants that work at the wal-marts and my regular shirts still fit, most are just tight at the belly.
I am coming up on 30 weeks and the only annoyance I have had is that I got a big lecture on “eating properly” from the midwife at the beginning because of my ‘high BMI.’ I told her that I wasn’t worried about it because if I was at the weight I am ‘supposed’ to be at I would be so underweight that I probably would not have even been menstruating, and thus, not pregnant. So I ate like I always do, what I want when I want (except for the banned pregnancy foods that aren’t safe for preggos) and interestingly enough, my mom is always concerned that I am not eating enough! In reality, I now eat every hour- hour and a half but this baby squishes my stomach so not much fits!
I didn’t have the issue though of not looking pregnant and with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, I was quite fat when I started out with a good size gut and still looked noticeably pregnant very early on.
I was going to say the same thing. Not looking pregnant until later on is actually pretty normal for women of all sizes in a first pregnancy. I was a bit smaller when I started my first pregnancy than I am now (a solid 16 then, about a 16/18 now, maybe a 7 pound difference), but with my first I didn’t show at all until I was at least 6 months, and I didn’t truly need maternity wear until 7 months. This time, I’m 13 weeks and already can’t button any of my regular pants, even though I’ve lost weight. So a second pregnancy might be a very different experience in terms of showing earlier.
I think the most important thing is definitely finding a supportive and size-positive (or at least size-neutral!) provider for your prenatal care. I have been very fortunate that, in both pregnancies, everybody who was part of my care was great. I was never given restrictive weight gain problems, the BP issues I had were not blamed on my weight, and they just generally acted like they expected my pregnancy to go as smoothly as it would for a “normal-weight” woman. But I’ve heard so many horror stories of women being told they can gain no weight, or being treated like a disaster waiting to happen, and I can’t imagine dealing with that sort of attitude for 9 months, given how much time you spend with your doctor/midwife when you are pregnant.
Sorry its been a while since you posted, but this is the first forum ive found with this much insight from other plus sized moms! I honestly thought that medically, doctors always treated plus sized pregnant women the way you just (accurately) described as a worst case scenario horror story.
That is exactly how it was for me. Every appointment, by a new resident, in front of my fiancé, was weighed, tisk tisked and lectured. I actually had one doctor refer to me to the nurse weighing me with the hand motion you’d use to mime an elephant. Like puffed out cheeks, the whole deal.
When I was pregnant, 8 years ago, there were no stores carrying large maternity wear, you could only get things online, what a pain. I mostly made due without and just bought larger sizes. I didn’t have a job to go to, so at least I wasn’t trying to look professional or anything. Like Jennifer, I really learned to appreciate my body while I was pregnant, I forgave it everything as it grew my baby. I’ve never loved it so much. I didn’t give a crap about getting bigger. I was very thankful for my doctors, who never once mentioned my weight. Well-Rounded Mama’s web site has a photo of pregnant me on the front page :) http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/
I am 35 weeks pregnant, and I could have written Jennifer’s post from top to bottom. From frustration with finding cute clothes (I am plus size, pregnant, and short, which meant that even if I did find anything in my size, it had to be hemmed), to not really looking pregnant (still can be confused with just a normal fat lady), to loving my body more (it is doing the most awesome thing ever!), I am totally there. I really appreciate Jennifer laying it all out, too. It crystallized a lot of thoughts I have had about being plus size and pregnant.
I also shopped at Lane Bryant and just ended up with a bunch of empire waist tops that I could wear over stretchy pants with a bella band (I’ve also worn my bella band as a tube top under a tshirt at home for days when a bra was too much to deal with). Now that I’m in my last month, I’m pretty resigned to wearing the same few outfits over and over. My favorite article of clothing? An elastic waist lightweight lined skirt that I bought a size up from Value Village last year. It was too big when I first got pregnant, but I wear it at least once a week now and it still fits comfortably over the belly. A lifesaver through a hot summer!
I have to say that I have missed, a little, the idea that people know and comment on my pregnancy. I don’t get doors held for me, or get a seat on the train. I don’t get many “oh how exciting, when are you due?” comments, unless I mention the pregnancy first. While I appreciate that overall, since if I wasn’t pregnant I would be horrified if someone asked me when I was due (which has happened to me), it’s a little sad not to get to be in the cute belly club. But I see pregnant people of all sizes, and I am just one of those sizes and shapes. The baby isn’t any less real.
Anyway, thanks for bringing up this topic. It’s great to see it and see some great feedback from other commenters about it.
Thank you for the Ample Mama site recommendation! I went into Motherhood last week to size up my bras (I’m 33 weeks along) and they don’t even carry my size there. I was a size 12 before I got pregnant, so whether I’m plus or not is up for debate.
The most size discrimination I got while pregnant was in the first trimester from my OB – thank goodness we moved and I switched to a much more compassionate one.
He looked at my weight and started in with a huge, enormous lecture about how I’d be one of those women who gain a ton and that I shouldn’t consider pregnancy a license to eat whatever I wanted, etc etc etc. He failed to ask if I exercised (I was training for a marathon and had run 15 miles the day before) or look at my chart and see that my current weight was still a whopping 50 lbs lower than it had been a few years ago. No compassion whatsoever.
Well, I ended up losing some pounds because I was so sick the first trimester, and my total weight gained at almost 34 weeks is 12 lbs. I eat even healthier than I did before pregnancy, exactly the same way, and my body has done exactly what it needed to do. For him to assume that I’m a large woman with a certain weight simply because I’m a pig who eats too much and doesn’t exercise (he couldn’t be more wrong) was infuriating and condescending.
Because I am tall and stocky, I didn’t look pregnant until about 6 months along, and never have gotten any kind of special treatment, but it’s a point of pride as well with me to stay strong and do everything I can, although it would have been nice to have a subway seat in the first trimester when on the verge of yakking all over the place and passing out.
It’s become even more apparent as a pregnant woman how much our society is completely focused and obsessed with size and weight – even the weight and size of my unborn child. People never fail to comment that he’s going to be HUGE, HUGE, HUGE and I’ll probably need a c-section. So far, no evidence shows that he’ll be any bigger than normal, and my uterus has actually measured small. I want to punch people when I hear this stuff, I confess. He’s not even born and people are already judge-y about his size.
I am plus sized and tall and could relate to all this. I got ALL my maternity wear through the mail– JCP, and some place in New York State, mainly. I also didn’t really show until the end, and after I delivered my first child, quite a few work acquaintances told me “oh, I didn’t realize you were pregnant!” I was sad not to have a cute little belly. I also remember being too worried about my size to go get a prenatal massage; now I wish I ad. My suggestion would be to not just wear big clothes, because they’ll just make you look fatter. If anything, wear snug shirts to look more pregnant. Nursing clothes were also hard to find, and even things like strap-on baby carriers won’t fit right. You can get XL straps for the Baby Bjorn and some slings, though.
Another problem was finding plus sized medical grade hosiery for a varicose vein problem– it turns out the XL in the Jobst line will fit up to a 20-22, though it was a close thing. I learned to ask for the large-size blood pressure cuff at the doctor’s (mine was never high, but it could read that way with a too small cuff). I had some problems with skimpy hospital gowns, and those disposable underpants they give you after delivery didn’t work at all for me; I wore my maternity briefs and just threw them away afterwards. I worried about popping the birthing ball, to the extent that I couldn’t get comfortable about using it.
I remember getting a few comments about having to watch my diet, and medical professionals just assuming I had gestational diabetes, which I never did. They also worried more than I felt necessary about how big my babies would be and about the possibility of birth defects. I think there is also an expectation that plus sized people will need a c-section, but again, it was never even a close thing for me and I had normal vaginal deliveries.
On the plus side, I didn’t gain more than an average amount of weight (26 lbs once, 32 the second time), and it all came off within a couple weeks of delivery. I didn’t get as freaked out about my postpartum body as some of my skinny friends did, either.
My little guy is almost 8 weeks old, and I am almost as proud of my gut now as I was when I was pregnant. Look at what it did! I’ll never be able to look at my body in such a negative light as I did before…it has shown me what an amazing piece of work it is, and reminded me to honor it.
I’m 31 weeks and think being a fat girl has made many parts of pregnancy easier. I didn’t have the body issues I thought I might get, in fact I have less than the average sized gal. My belly was always there – now it’s just rounder and harder! And I’ve only gained 13 pounds or so which is perfect I think….some of my thinner friends are weight obsessed and body obsessed during pregnancy which I think it quite sad.
And as for the whinging about clothes. You have no idea how lucky you are in the US. There are no plus size maternity options – especially in pants/jeans – in Australia. In fact we only have one half decent chain of plus size in general.
Luckily I was holidaying in Hawaii and found a MM outlet store and I actually thought for the price, the quality and range was great. Walking into a shop that even had clothes to fit, AND getting a choice of length in some jeans too made me almost cry. I came home and told everyone I know that I’m a “Petite 1X” and many people couldn’t believe such a thing existed! So while it’s not perfect that some of you have to go out of your way to find clothes at least you didn’t have to leave the country to do it LOL.
How nice to see someone else in the fatosphere talking about pregnancy at larger sizes!! Sometimes I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness.
I’m kmom, owner of the wellroundedmama blogspot and http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org. That is indeed a picture of Aimee on my main website!! (Hi Aimee; email me!!)
I have a whole set of FAQs on maternity clothes in plus sizes, finding larger-sized nursing bras (yes, they exist!), baby carriers and slings for big moms, plus-sized maternity clothes in non-US countries, etc.
It hasn’t been updated in a couple of years, so some links are out of date, but most of the info is still good. And updating it is on the to-do list for this year. Here’s the link:
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/PlusMat%20Clothing%20FAQs/PlusMat_clothingFAQ_index.html
There are many other things on the website specific to pregnancy as a fat woman, as well as pregnancy information in general. If you haven’t been yet, go check it out.
And be sure to check out my blog as well. I love comments, and I hope many of you mamas will share your thoughts there too.
I got most of my stuff at JCPenney, and my problems were amplified by being rather minimalist and butch in my personal style. I would have sooner gone out on the street topless than wear a pink t-shirt that said in cutesy letters “Baby On Board!” even if it came in a 2x. So I lived in four big shirts and two pairs of maternity pants in denim, and that was just that. However, I liked the flannel shirt I found so much I just kept it, and still wear it occasionally. Nothing like a big snuggly flannel shirt.
When I was pregnant, even though I’m plus-sized, I was so obviously HUGELY pregnant (the joke was that I was carrying a baby hippo) that my experience was completely different from Jennifer’s. But I did have an equally hard time finding pregnancy clothes and ended up living in track pants and big-ass T-shirts and a few (far too short for my long torso and massive belly) maternity shirts. I was NOT a stylish pregnant lady! I also agree on the body-love – it’s hard, at least it was hard for me, not to feel just completely, totally awed by what your body is doing, creating LIFE, you know? And the curves that come, the belly, the movement of your ligaments and the way your muscles move and the changes in the way you do everything makes you so body-conscious in a good way – impressed by how smart your body is, how good it is at its job, how beautifully it all fits together…. I actually loved being pregnant so so much, partly because of how good I felt in my own skin during that time.
I’m due with my third on Thursday (yep, like FIVE days *shudder*!) My first two I had OBs and even though they were different practices and different OBs…they both acted like it was a GIVEN I was going to have a high-risk pregnancy. Then was induced at 38 weeks with both because the baby was going to be HUGE (they weren’t) but the fat and the ultrasound didn’t go well together and 2+ pounds were added to every picture – giving an inaccurate size reading every time.
This time I thought I’d be super-smart and have a home birth and use a midwife and take control. The first five months were basically me convincing my midwife that being fat was not a problem. She talked to colleagues and I felt like a guinea pig – helping her learn about “fat pregnancy”
But it was nice to avoid most of the pitfalls I encountered with the OBs – such as the glucose test being given with organic grape juice instead of orange soda crap. When she got my results and said I was hypoglycemic, my response was, “Aren’t you glad I don’t drink 32oz. of grape juice all the time?” She laughed.
The other thing that happened with this pregnancy is that I met someone at BlogHer and loved them and they later twittered about obese people making them sick. I responded back with a WTF? you *love* me! She responded, “But you’re pregnant.”
It never EVER EVER dawned on me before – when I’m pregnant people think THAT’S WHY I’M FAT. (I show pretty early even tho I’m 5’9″ and 300lbs.) so here I’ve been getting a “pass” from hate for three kids and NEVER realized it until this pregnancy.
It blew my mind.
As for clothing, I have a pair of capris and a pair of jeans from Motherhood Maternity and three tops. That’s more than enough to get me through life. (I’m sure it’s not NEAR enough for clothes-loving mamas or working-outside-the-home mamas.) Two of these shirts are going to go into the regular rotation post-pregnancy. I look adorable, and even at a size 24, the jeans are the 2x size – which made me happy even bigger mamas than I could buy clothing there :)
Oh, and my nursing bra is from nestmom.com – it’s TYE DIE and I love it. (I’m normally not a hippie, but man, I made an exception LOL) the largest band size is for 42-46 around (I’m 46 so it barely fits but it does fit.)
Thanks for the great post!
I so wanted commentary when I was pregnant, but not even people who’ve known me since I was a child said anything – they just assumed I’d gotten fatter. And the going out to eat was a nightmare…
…mostly I didn’t care, though. As an infertile woman, being pregnant was the greatest thing ever, and having my son Even Better. Buying clothes sucked, I ended up at Wal-Mart (the only ‘clothing store’ in my area) and buying 4X or #X mens clothing.
For a whole slew of reasons, I don’t want children….but this post and the pictures in the links were amazing.
Go fat pregnant chicks! You are awesome and beautiful.
I look forward to my pregnancy (may it remain many years in the future). As I’ve joked with my fiance, its the one time in my life I’m culturally allowed to be fat, so I anticipate enjoying my belly. I’ve dabbled into maternity wear as a non-pregnant woman, liking some of their styles for their creative ways to take the emphasis off of my midsection. However, when I’m pregnant, I plan to dress in ways that compliment, not hide, my belly. I’ve been hiding it all my life – I plan on embracing the one time my weight will be a social sign of motherhood (positive) rather than a sign of assumed lack of health.
Hi Ladies,
Thanks so much for mentioning the BellaBand in your post. It was very important for our company to embrace women of all sizes because it is important for all women to feel beautiful.
Another item that we find to be a great maternity staple for women of all sizes is leggings. It lets women continue to wear their pre-pregnancy dresses and tunics a little longer by giving them extra coverage on the legs. Of course, we recommend our own Belly Leggings because they are super soft and can be worn all the way up or down on the belly depending on what feels best.
This actually has been a problem forever. If anyone has ever read any of Jean Kerr’s writing, she wrong “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” amongst other things, and she was 5’9″ and not a small woman, and I remember her writing about looking for maternitywear that would fit her and saying that the salesgirls would act as if nobody of her size had any business being pregnant anyway! This was in the 1950’s.
I know this is an old post, but I had to write anyway! I have a 3 month-old baby girl, healthy, beautiful, wonderful! I hated being pregnant, though, and a lot of it had to do with being heavier than I should have been when I got pregnant. I was a size 16-ish, 175lbs-ish, and carrying that and the extra 20lbs I gained from the pregnancy did a number on my body. Also, I developed gestational diabetes at 28 weeks and that was hell. Eating was uber-monitored, meals were severely restricted and I was constantly worried about what could happen to my baby. I had to prick my finger 4-plus times a day. Now I’m almost back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my goal is to loose at least 30 more pounds so that if I do decide to have another baby the pregnancy will be easier on my body. I wish I had been in better shape before I got pregnant. I wish somebody had told me that carrying extra weight and then a pregnancy on top of it could be a serious risk to me and the baby.
really glad to find this post; I just found out I’m expecting, and one of the things that’s really bothering me is where I’m going to find clothes (I’m something of a clotheshorse), and how much weight I’ll gain. it’s nice to see that it worked out for you, but I’m so scared I’ll turn into this awful monster of a person who can’t dress herself anymore. Or maybe it’s just the hormones. I’m trying to step up the excercise so that I can be smaller later on, but I’ve been so stressed out that I’m not hungry, thank goodness. The husband (and soon, my mother) will be on the “only gain 10 lbs” rampage soon enough.
I’m morbidly obese, 276 pounds right now, and I’m pregnant with my third child. I’m 29 weeks and I’ve actually lost weight. I started at 290. My OB-GYN isn’t worried because the baby seems to be growing fine. I’ve had no problems with any of my pregnancies, except c-sections. That’s not because of my weight though. My mom took medicine when she was pregnant with me that caused my birth canal to develop improperly, making it too small to give birth to a normal sized baby. Neither of my babies were large. They were 7 pounds 10 ounces and 7 pounds 11 ounces. Just because you’re overweight does not mean that you’re doomed to have lots of complications in pregnancy or having 10 pound babies.
This is awesome. Every single word I could have easily written myself.
I was not a plus-sized girl during my first pregnancy, but I am with my second. I gained A LOT of weight with my first pregnancy (bed rest for 5 months) and now am doing this plus-sized. My doctor keeps telling me not to eat so much and to exercise more. Hello – I am not eating a lot. I am always sick! And I cannot exercise, my feet are so swollen I cannot get them into shoes. I am loving being pregnant again, and wish people would stop looking at me strange because I am plus-sized and pregnant. It’s not their body, their baby, or their decision. It was mine and my husband’s!
And a lot of on line retailers don’t have big maternity clothes – like Old Navy only goes to an XXL.
I love the letter above. It is so true.
I found myself getting looks all week but what I went through yesturday was just horrible I stopped at a resturant and the line was long… And I had to wait for my pick up and the dirty looks I got from people there made me feel like running away crying Now I’m finding myself hiding out my house people here in this smallish town can be so mean and hateful somebody tell me why they act the way they do?
It’s comforting to know I’m not the only plus sized mom to be. It certainly feels that way though!! All the sites that track your babies growth and talk about how you’re going to start showing is so depressing. My mom told me yesterday “you don’t even look pregnant yet” despite the fact I’m only 20weeks. I told her “that’s because I’m hiding my pregnancy with my fat until I’m ready to tell everyone” (the irony of that is everyone already knows). This is my 2nd pregnancy (both plus sized) and Maternity clothes weren’t even an option with the first. I wore things with elastic waste bands but thankfully that wasn’t needed until my 8th month. Still, everything being catered to small pregnant women can make you feel left out of the pregnancy circle a little.
I am torked went to the Doctor this morning for my first appointment for my second child. I am 6 ft tall and weight 229 lbs. Apparently I am considered obese. If I lost 15 lbs I will be considered overweight and would be at the same weight I was when I had my first. During the first three months of my fisrt pregnancy I lost 15 lbs and by the way I feel at this moment I will probably be doing the same. I do not understand why we have to classify women and make pregnancy another way to diet. It really pisses me off. I do not feel obese, I understand that I am chunky but I accept that. I have been this way since I was a little girl and I highly doubt I will ever fit into a size 9 again!
I am excited about this pregnancy but am not excited about trying to find clothes to fit. Luckily in my first pregnancy I was able to wear my original pants until 7 months!
I AM PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS!
I am 5 months pregnant. My best friend and my cousin are too. They have these cute little baby bumps coming and all I am is fat. I have been wondering if my fat was gonna take away from the “pregnant” look. Now I guess I know. By the sounds of it, I am a lot bigger than the lady from the E-mail and I am so afraid I will never look pregnant.
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My pregnancy experience was mixed. I was 230 pounds (5’4″) and medically had a hard time. My health wasn’t the problem. I gained 23 pounds so about ten over what was recommended, and literally gained the last ten pounds at the end when I said screw it I’ll eat what I want! I stayed active and ate healthy foods and my blood, sugars, and pressure tests always came back totally great. But I went to a multi doctor practice with residents, so EVERY APPPINTMENT regardless of my health, and minimum weight loss, I was lectured by a new grad about my obesity and the risks and they constantly reminded that i needed to not be selfish, think of the baby. After appointments I’d leave in tears but overall was content. Oh the kicker is I had to be rushed to emergency c section, where a resident tore my uterus, I bled out needed transfusions, and the doctor told me later my weight saved my life due to increased blood volume- gave me some more time haha. This was not very common not trying to scare, more tongue in cheek version of a rough day.
Personally I felt sexy and round and I don’t know like this big butted fertile goddess. I liked maternity clothes, I relied hebily on the skinny jeans from motherhood with the extra long waistband made out of stocking material? Those I had a few pairs of, and I wore a LOT of plain black maternity tees with cute (open) cardigans and a pleather bomber jacket. That thing was holding on for dear life towards the end. But I just accessorized neutrals! I looked cute and mixed it up with earrings and scarves. I kept myself feeling sexy in cute panties and thongs, comfy wedges till 6 months and then switched to flats and knee high boots. I didn’t like the choices then (2008-09) but now stores seem to have more options. I see targets maternity clothes all the time because they’re grouped into the plus size clothes. I guess target sees fat and pregnant as the same thing even though as a still fat and former pregnant chick, I know they are NOT. The most important thing is stay healthy and positive, don’t lose sight of who you are and feeling stylish helps your confidence, and you’ll need that during the weird first few weeks after you pop out your little nugget of love.
And I don’t know exactly because it varies from person to person- height weight body shape, of you carry all your weight in the middle. Where the egg attached to the placenta. I’m sure the more fat you already had in that area the longer you’ll wait to feel your bump. Od like to say/think dont worry you will see and feel a big belly at the end and will feel your baby move and kick. I felt kicks at 26 weeks, which was what i was more desperate for…and belly popped at 22 weeks. I never had the hugely pregnant look. again was 230, 5’4″ and carried most of my weight on hips and butt but had a fattish belly before pregnancy. Which was weird any extra fat I was carrying on my waist, shifted forward so I was exaggeratedly hourglass for a few months, because my t&a grew to enormous proportions as well. bonus.
I’m a heavier girl, and throughout my pregnancy so far I’ve not thought too much about looking pregnant. My mom barely looked pregnant even at 5 months, and she wasn’t even heavy. So I figured, it’s probably in the genes. But when I hit 20 myself, and realized I was half done, I couldn’t help but feel a bit dismayed that I don’t even look a little big pregnant. Being here and reading so many stories from other bigger girls is encouraging though. Even if I never look pregnant, I can rest knowing I’m in good company!
As for maternity clothes, I had some pretty good success at JC Penney. I am about an 18/20, and their pants fit me just fine. I think you’d have a hard time getting into them if you’re any bigger though. And for shirts I’ve been staying away from the maternity section all together. There are so many cute flowing tops out there that work perfectly for a growing belly. And they’re often cheaper. And, EBAY! It has been a lifesaver. The auctions get a little competitive, but I’ve scored a few awesome things for not much money.