Are You Insecure About Your Height?
The idea of height insecurity was touched on in the comments of a recent post, and I thought it was worthy of some more discussion. Below are comments from Arlene, MarqueeMoon, and Beth.
You know, everyone is always going on and on and on about how models are so impossibly skinny and set an impossible standard for the rest of us women and shouldn’t all models weigh the same as normal people and stop warping our minds in terms of what we feel we’re supposed to look like to be considered attractive? But nobody ever mentions anything about height. Yeah, I’m never going to be 102 pounds, but I’m also never going to be 5?10?
Exactly…I’m barely over 100 lbs, but I’m also only 5?3. I’m skinny as fuck and my weight doesn’t worry me- it’s my height I obsess over. I feel unattractive most of the time because I am not 5?11 and leggy like a model.
Ha. The height thing is so true and it is the main way that Barbie dolls fucked up my head — I never really expected to be wasp-waisted with huge boobs, but damn it, I wanted to be six feet tall. I still don’t quite feel like a grown-up because I’m not as proportionately tall as Barbie.
I’m 5’9″ myself, so I’ve never felt the pressure to be tall or for that matter, any validation because I’m tall. I have always envied shorter fat women who have the “short and cute” thing going on, because they’re still petite, still “smaller” on some level. For many years I was obsessed with being “smaller” than the men I dated, because “women are supposed to be smaller” (not very feminist of me, I know). I’ve dated a lot of tall guys, and my husband is 6’3″, so… there’s that.
There’s also this: when my friend at work complains about being “a midget” I think she can’t possibly be serious, because she’s not only petite height-wise, but thin as well as beautiful, so where’s the problem? But now I realize she may genuinely be insecure about her height, and I find that very interesting. I’ve really been dismissive (in my head) of what it turns out is a genuine insecurity that I have never really given much thought to!
So where do you stand? Are you tall, short, thin, round? Are you insecure about your height? Do we need to start a height acceptance movement? (I think I feel a tagline coming on.)
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Lexxy, I’ve never had someone lean on me–just as well, because I’d say it’s amazingly obnoxious.
Have you considered moving out from under? And I mean moving fast enough to make them lose their balance somewhat. I think it could be a learning experience.
I am 5’10.25″. And I’ve never wanted to be shorter, I’ve always wanted to be taller. Go figure.
I am 5’7″, and have weighed in the ballpark of 125-135 pounds for most of my adult life. I always wanted to be something that stood out instead of so average…either really tall or really petite. But at least I can buy pants off the rack, right?
I’m 5’6”. Pretty average, I guess? I never expected to be this tall, even though it’s not exceptionally tall. My dad is in the ballpark of 5’10” but I really take after my mom, who is 5’2″. Most of her side of the family is, too… I am eye to eye or only slightly shorter than most of the men on her side. I was always the shortest kid in my class in grade school and middle school, and then I shot up four inches in the tenth grade. They’re not kidding about growing pains, either… growing so fast in such a short period of time physically hurts!
I’m 5′ 8″, which is pretty much the world average. The world is designed for someone my size, most of the time. That part is good! Sometimes I feel like a bull in a china shop – like when I stand anywhere near a large group of tiny women.
OTOH, I’ve always been certain that men prefer a short woman, and taller men prefer shorter women. Don’t know why that is. Also one does have to be cautious about seeming intimidating to someone who’s a lot shorter, especially when I’m in heels.
I was talking to BFDiva Kendra today (shoutout!) and I realized that maybe the reason I really haven’t thought about my height very much is that my best friend from the age of 15 was over six feet tall so even though I guess technically I am “tall,” next to her I never really felt particularly tall. I felt like she was taller and I was heavier and we kind of balanced each other out. A surprising number of men were attracted to both of us. I don’t know. It was an interesting thing to think about, though.
I’m 5’1″ and 120 pounds and I struggle to create a space around myself where I am not seen as “small,” by which I mean feeling ignored and not taken seriously. I feel strange inhabiting a world where the specifications of furniture, cars, clothing, etc, make me and my body feel uncomfortable and awkward in its environment. As a person who’s gender presentation varies from day to day or week to week, I think about how my short stature intersects with my gender presentation. How do people react to me as a short thinnishmuscular femmey woman? drag queen? boi? man? I also get a lot of people thinking I’m quite young, however I’m presenting that day. I am 22 and am often mistaken for being 15 or 17, which affects my interactions with people I don’t know in mostly odd and annoying ways. Being a short woman I feel I have been told to “be careful” in public spaces a lot, and made to feel powerless and weak. And thinking about being able to be picked up, with that comes the fact that people pick you up when you don’t want them to. Would you like to be picked up and flung into a pool? Thrown over someone’s shoulder and carried around? When you’re not in the mood and can’t stop it? Nope. Nope.
I’m 6’0 and it took a plane trip halfway across the world before I started feeling okay about my height. It was on a flight from London to Uganda while waiting in line for the restroom that I realized that my extreme discomfort in my airline seat wasn’t from being fat (I fit in my seat okay) but because my legs were so long. I realized that my hipbones are where a lot of other people’s mid-ribcage is or, in some cases, breast height (if the women are pretty short). I never knew I had such long legs.
When I was younger my height never bothered me. I guess I figured everyone would catch up when they were finished growing. Well, they didn’t. And dating while fat and tall was next to impossible. It was especially great to have a connection to someone, flirt all night, and then have all their interest shut down the moment I stood up to hug them goodbye. A lot of guys seem to think that dating a tall woman is somehow emasculating.
I thought about the sentence “A lot of guys seem to think that dating a tall woman is somehow emasculating.”
I think that men who are insecure, and men who feel that they are not very “manly” are those who are intimidated bu tall women.
i actually haven’t been worried much about my height until just recently. when i was younger i always wanted to be shorter b/c i was always the tall one. then i got to 6th grade and stopped growing. i’m now 5′ 3″. i was always glad that i was short b/c being “bigger” [currently a size 18], i thought that at least i was short.
THEN i started watching america’s next top model. i know, i know, bad idea. it didn’t do anything bad for my self image at first, but then i started taking more and more picures of myself and posing in front of the mirror. THEN i started working on my runway walk. [hilarious, i know]. then i saw like an overview of a season where this girl was 5′ 7″ and they talked to her about it EVERY pannel. they were like ‘when you’re ONLY 5/7 you have to THINK tall.’ and i’m going: ??????!!!!!!?????
once again, i’m 5/3. [and a half.]
so yeah. that’s the only thing that gets me now… i could never be a model. like seriously, if i was 5 inches taller, i’d slim down to a 10 or 12, and persue a modeling career.
…guess THAT’S not going to happen…
so insecure? not really. annoyed/dismayed? slightly.
I think that a few of the commenters have hit on the most central issue in how we feel about our heights, which is how it compared to other people when we were growing up. I’m 5’8″, with broad shoulders and a curvy/athletic build (I wear a UK 14, which is a US 10 – 12, depending on who you ask) and while now, at the age of 29, I carry my height well and can see that I am on the taller side of average, but still within the average range…back when I was 12 years old, 5’8 and with 36C boobs (now DD), and most of my friends were petite, it was a very different story. It didn’t help matters that I’d been a keen gymnast from the age of six, when I’d been short and powerful; when I suddenly grew half a foot in six months aged 11-12, my body suddenly couldn’t do what it used to be able to, and I started to hate my height. I remember feeling gigantic and clumsy, and I don’t think it’s coincidence that the two girls I became best friends with when I was 13 were both the same height as me; they made me feel more normal. (Funnily enough, one of the two of them was much, much skinnier than I ever was – UK size 6 – but despite all my weight anxiety I was way, way more conscious of her height than her weight.)
I think it’s easy for parents – particularly mothers – to pass on their size anxiety to their daughters. My mum is a bit taller than me; she was also terribly skinny growing up (around 100lb at 5’9 until she was 21) and was teased enormously about both her height and her weight, and I think I picked up from her that it would be better to be smaller (like me, her height hampered her ambitions – until she was in her teens she was a very talented ballerina, but then grew too tall). I remember always thinking I’d love to be 5’2 or so.
But of course it’s all relative…I remember bitching about my height online to a friend whom I hadn’t at that time met in person; I hadn’t known that she is 6’5 (!!!) and she told me in no uncertain terms that I had no idea what I was talking about! On the other side of things, I have another friend who is 4’10 and her boyfriend is 6’5; they have all sorts of problems (no, not THOSE sorts of problems…) like not being able to hear one another when they’re out somewhere noisy, because his voice goes over her head and she’s speaking to his stomach! And if they fly together, he always requests an exit row seat because of his height, and she always gets filthy looks when she’s sat next to him…heh.
I’m 5′ 3″ and round and, although it presents a few practical difficulties, (like sleeves on most plus-size garments being miles too long and not being able to see over the top of people’s heads in crowds), I actually don’t give a stuff about being short. I never really have.
The last time my height was measured at the doctor’s office, I was 6’1″. I told the nurse to add an extra inch because I’ve been saying that I’m 6’2″ since I graduated high school. For a long time I really hated being this tall. I especially hated it in high school (as if high school isn’t traumatizing enough.) I was always known as “the really tall blond girl.” I didn’t have a name. When I graduated high school almost 20 years ago, I only weighed 130 pounds. I was freakishly thin. I’ve gained 70 pounds since then and now I embrace my height. It’s me. Sure, it’s a pain in the ass to find clothes and my knees don’t fit under desks and airplane seats are uncomfortable as hell but *shrug* the world is made for “average” people. I enjoy being above average. I call myself an Amazon. My 6’5″ husband and I are expecting a daughter in May. She’ll be amazonian, just like me, and I hope I can help her be as proud of it as I am now.
Taking a break from all the posts that begin with “I” to say that when asked if there was anything about her body Madonna (what, about 5’1″?) would change, she answered, her height. Women can starve, binge, exercise, etc. but the one thing we CANNOT change (short of radically invasive bone-lengthening surgery) is bone structure. It’s interesting to compare the issues that result from body attributes you can control (weight, not 100% but comparatively) vs. that which you cannot (height).
I’m just under 5’1″ and I’ve never been bothered by my height EXCEPT when dealing with all the material things made for “average” people. The upper cupboards in my kitchen remain empty (winter clothing storage would be an option), sitting in most chairs my feet can’t touch the floor, clothing lengths (I won’t even go there), I need a little device to keep the seatbelt in my car from strangling me. It is all those little things that keep reminding me my height is not a normal one. Annoyed by all the inconveniences, yes. But I’M perfectly fine being the height I am. Ironically, I really sympathize with very tall folks (6’0″ and over in my eyes) as I think they face the same issues I do, but with the opposite twist.
Who’d have thought height would be such a sticking point for so many???? Just look at the number of comments!
Yay, shoutout! I’m with Emily – I’m 5’11”, which I hated when I was younger (so much taller than everyone, altho surprisingly I didn’t get teased much for it). By high school I didn’t mind, by college I loved it. I love being able to tower over people, I love that if short men harass me in bars I can stand up and intimidate them. And I have to admit I think it mitigates my size – I tend to dress very vertically/height-enhancing, and wear big shoes, so I’m even taller.
Altho two of my best friends are 4’11” and 5’2″, and I do feel like bit of a Yeti around them.
I am comfortable with my height most of the time. The one time that I really wished I was taller was when I looked at the requirements for becoming a model for Cherished Woman. At least a size 14, check. Over 5’7, no check. Damn you, Cherished Woman!
I’m 5’1″. And I have to second, third, fourth all the complaints about being picked up. When you’re short, men seem to think that they have an inherent right to physically grab you, hoist you up and carry you around like a sack of potatoes, perhaps toss you into the nearest body of water, whatever. Doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be picked up. Doesn’t matter if you don’t even want to be touched. Doesn’t matter if you just met the guy or never met the guy. Doesn’t matter if you never even saw his face because he thought it would be funny to sneak up on you. Doesn’t matter if you’re screaming “NO!” and trying to kick him in the nuts or scratch his eyes out to get away (that’s just “cute,” don’t you know). He thinks that he’s perfectly within his rights to heft you around. He thinks he’s being charming, even. And that is total bullshit.
And of course, living in a world where my feet dangle off of every car, airplane, bus seat, not to mention office chairs and restaurant seats–even the *toilet*, is no picnic. Having to get a stepladder to reach just the second shelf in my kitchen cabinet sucks.
The fact that I’m forever having to do ridiculous portion/calorie counting because, as a short person, my weight maintenance calories are what would be considered a seriously reduced calorie diet for women of normal size–well, that sucks, too.
I’m 5’2″ with size DDDD breasts. I know, if I were taller, they would look so much better, so yeah, height is a big thing for me too. I always feel frumpy around tall thin girls
I’m 6’2″/3″ and though I am thin I am wide and even then I never used to be. I won’t ever find pants that fit me all the way because there is some sort of rule that you have to be as thick as you are wide and that isn’t the case for me. Not to mention having to shell out 100 for a pair of jeans because they reach the floor.
I’m not half as frustrated as I was when I was heavy, but sometimes you just don’t get used to the staring. I wish I could wear a pair of heels!
I think I’d be good with a shorter lover because I feel really insecure when I’m around people who are taller. I feel like a doll and it makes me hunch haha.
I’m23 years old, 5’1″ and 158 pounds currently.
I also have a baby face with full cheeks. So while I have boobs and hips, I tend to look half my age. In some ways it’s a blessing– I suppose I’ll age fairly well. (My mother has, and my father.) But it’s a pain in the ass not being able to reach for tall shelves or getting picked last on teams in high school because it was assumed that short and plump meant “not effective in any manner”. As I got older, it became a bit of a stumbling block in that guys think I’m underaged. I get a lot of “cute”, which sure, I can swing it. It just doesn’t go beyond that.
I don’t mind being this short, though. :] It’s me, and why bother hating it when I can like it? Besides, I was a sneak attack at dodgeball and I get free crayons at restaurants.
im 6′ and over 200 pounds, im kinda glad im not short or else id be REALLY fat, for some reason this weight looks fine on me. just lucky i guess. although having size 12 feet does suck most of the time.
I have another insecurity about my height that I didn’t mention in my original comment. Whenever I am around a tall (say 5’9 or taller) woman, I’m always very paranoid that they are judging me for being short and stumpy. This sounds awful and I know it’s not true, but I feel like they must all be feeling like they are superior over me because they’re tall/long-legged. I know…it’s totally insane, but I can’t seem to help it.
Ironically, I actually have quite long limbs for my height (’32 inseam at 5’3 and I never have to buy petite-length pants or skirts) and have pretty much the opposite of a stumpy build. But still, I have a complex about this.
Okay, now that I have revealed my ridiculous insecurity to everybody, does anyone else get this feeling? I’m not sure I explained that very well (despite the novel-length comment) but hopefully I got my point across.
Like some of the other ladies here, I am 5′ 3/4″, 150 lbs. I come from a family of mostly tall, all slender people. That never really bothered me, except when I couldn’t reach the things in the high cabinets, or the counters in the kitchen are too high for me to work on comfortably. My biggest problem is chairs. I can never get a chair that I can sit in comfortable and still have my feet touch the ground. In restaurant booths, I sit sideways because it is so uncomfortable for me to sit with my legs sticking straight out.
I’m 5’7, 195 lbs and built like a linebacker. I have an hourglass shape with broad shoulders and hips. I’ve always wished I could be shorter. I avoid wearing heels because they make me too tall. I’m tired of wearing flats!!!! I would love to wear 3 or 4 inch heels, but I’m too insecure about my height to do so. I’ve never embraced my height. I think 5’1 would be ideal. *sigh*
I know i’m a little late in the game commenting on this, but i felt like saying something, so i am. i’m 5’2″, and between 165 and 170 lbs depending on the day, week, etc…
I love being short, i feel like it allows me to hide when i want to. Not that i spend my life lurking in corners watching everyone’s movements, but it means that i can enter or exit a room without people noticing. However, I find that because i’m so short, i feel like people notice my weight more strongly than perhaps an “average” height person. I think it’s tough for both tall and short people who are overweight because there are stereotypes for most extremes. I think many short round people feel like bowling balls while tall round people feel like sasquatches.
Besides, there are about 3 people in the US that can find jeans that fit in any way whatsoever.
Additionally, i would like to note how interesting it is that it appeals to so many women to be smaller than their partner. I think there are many people who feel the opposite. But, i also enjoy feeling smaller. I enjoy the feeling that someone can physically take care of me, and that is made much easier by being short. I feel like being “bigger than me” is all about proportions. If someone is much taller than me they can be skinnier, or shorter and fatter, and proportionally we will work well together and i will feel protected and good.
I don’t want to feel like the large clunky girl with the skinny waif-y boy. I know that’s not altogether fat-accepty, but i do love my body shape, i just don’t like feeling like i overwhelm my partner physically.
i hope that rant held some relevance.
I’m just shy of 5’2″ and while I have tiny bird bones (I wear kid-sized shoes and gloves, and most rings and bracelets are too big for me), I do have hips and tits. I love it when I work out regularly or stay above 107 lbs, because I feel like the extra bulk gives me more presence. On the other hand, I get self-conscious if I weigh over 115, though that’s only a numbers thing.
A friend of mine says that in his head, I’m 5’6″ or taller, because I come across as strong. I’m not sure where he’s getting this idea of me as outgoing and tough, but I’ll take it.
It is fascinating to read all these stories coming from so many points of view.
At just under 4’9″ I have always been very self conscious about my height and envied taller girls. It’s not like I’m just petite. I’m extra petite. I find it interesting that taller girls wish to be short and “cute.” When I was younger I used to love the fact that I would get attention for being so petite. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been picked up by friends, family, and random people I hardly know. Now that I am 19, I find that because I’m so small it is more difficult to get attention or be taken seriously and I don’t have an extremely outgoing personality to make up for it. People mistake me for being younger than I am all the time. When I was a JUNIOR in high school a FRESHMAN thought I was in 4th grade. That was a pretty extreme case tho.
My biggest challenge is feeling like there is very little consideration given to people under 5ft. I mean, even women that are just above 5ft feel challenged. My feet dangle when I sit on buses, in classrooms, or at restaurants. It is very difficult for me to find clothing, even in petite sections. I usually end up shopping in kids departments which is embarrasing but often saves me money. Half of the dresses I own are technically shirts. When I was learning to drive I had to pad the drivers seat with pillows and attach a chunk of wood to the gas pedal in order to reach it. Now I drive a VW jetta because it is basically the only car I can drive without all that extra stuff.
I don’t mean to complain so much, but sometimes it helps to vent. I think it’s important for people to be aware of the challenges a lot of shorter people face. I have come to embrace my height more, though, especially since entering college. My peers are more mature and although my height still provokes a lot of questions, it’s not such a big deal.
5’7″ and 290.
I grew up in a family in which I was the second shortest (most of the women are around six foot, the men an inch or three more) and went to school with an ethnically non-diverse population. We had a LOT of broad, tall German/Scandinavian 3rd and 4th gen immigrants around here. And then all of a sudden the ethnic balance of the region shifted. And I went from being “on the tall end of normal” to “tall”. To further make the mindfuck fun, I had some major foot surgery during this time, and so spent most of it seated. The first time I went to the grocery store by myself again, I was the tallest person in there, and only one person was anywhere near me in height. It was rather unsettling, and I think bits of me are still getting used to being Tall and Big.
I like being able to reach things, though countertops aren’t quite right for my personal proportion of leg to torso height. I also have problems with chairs and pants, since my height is mostly in my legs. My husband’s a titch taller than me at 5’8″, but much heavier, so pretty much depending on what shoes I have on we’re a similar height and build.
Our sons appear to be inheriting my side’s genes for height, and will either be tall solid square men or tall willowy men. We’ve got both, so we’ll see. But both should wind up around six foot.
I’m 5’7″ and so I go both ways. Sometimes I would love to be taller and elegant etc (plus when I was younger I used to feel that if I was just a bit taller my fat would spread out and I’d end up thinner
On the otherhand, I’m quite clumsy and have wide shoulders, and I often have this too big, too broad, taking up too much space kind of thing. Especially since I live with two tiny chinese girls and occasionally knock the smaller of the two over when I’m excited to see her and go to hug her. Also, I used to be obsessed with ballet and was told that it would never happen for me because I was too fat and too tall.
sorry to post twice, only half my comment went up for some reason
I’m 5’8″ and 140 lbs. I’m very insecure about both my height and weight. I’m the tallest in my class and constantly feel like a giant next to my classmates. Everyone is so tiny, I just feel large and awkward. It would be different if i was some tall, slim cutie. But its not. I’m average looking and clunky. :(
i dont like to admit my insecurities; i like to think myself secure if anything. But that’s a front. Inside I not happy w/ my appearacnce.
I’m just shy of 5’7″. I grew tall quite early, and as a child was consistently around the 95th percentile for my age, but I was also quite thin. My height didn’t really bother me until I started fussing about my weight (at 14) and comparing myself to girls and women who were shorter as well as thinner. I didn’t just feel too heavy, I felt altogether too large, too much. It was a difficult age because some of us were fully developed, at adult heights and weights, and some were physically still children, which made comparison incredibly uncomfortable.
I am 5’8″ and thin, but I do feel uncomfy about my height. I am taller than all my friends and I feel odd wearing heels to work because I tower above everyone except one guy in my department. I wish I was somewhere in the 5’4-5’6 range.
I’m 5ft 2 1/2 and sort of medium build for my height (sz 8), kind of hourglassy with big swimmer’s shoulders. My perspective is kind of wierd because I was really tall as a kid and then when puberty hit I stopped growing upwards and started growing outwards. I was 5ft tall at age 9. It was really freaking wierd to see people I’d always been taller than start towering over me.
Actually I’ve always wondered how much of my bolshy personality is based on the fact that, internally, I don’t see myself as a small person. I’m like a yorkie that thinks it’s a rotweiller – assertive, oddly unafraid of confrontations with men, not easily physically intimidated. I’ve often wondered if the reason I’m not particularly scared of men in general is that, up until about 12 or 13, I could kick the asses of most boys I knew. I’d be curious about the perspective of tall women, how that affects the way they relate to men.
I do live in heels most o the time because I get tired of random people doing the “aw you’re just adorable!” thing. Also my long term ex was 6ft5 and without heels walking down the street with him was kind of ridiculous. I always sort of wistfully wanted to be a classic ectomorph, but I don’t think it was the height as such I wanted, more the overall willowy look.
Oh, and I don’t have a lot of the feet not reaching the ground etc problems a lot of people my height seem to because my proportions are sort of wierd – long legs, short torso. So I can wear normal length pants without alteration if I have heels on (actual inseam without heels is 30 inches), and my arms are pretty long, no need to alter jackets. Which ironically enough means that, at under 5ft3, nothing in the petites dept fits me. Yay standardised clothing sizes which seem to come in one size fits nobody.
i’m 6 foot and get picked on occasionally “stringy” “BFG” or “girrafe”
always known as the tall one. and it’s like people think youre deaf too cause all i hear is “the size of her!” one time i was out with my friend and a group of guys were behind me and started going “lads look at the size of this one” and started laughing and talk about embarrassing! im soo insecure, and intimidate loads of people, even to the extend in which people avoid me or ignore me, or just watch me like im not human. and when they comment on my tallness i blush like mad cause theyre just higlighting how little i fit in and remind me of how much of an outcast i am.
so i get stared at ALL the time, im extremely skinny so i cant wear dresses cause my knees too knobbly.
i will never get a guy cause no guy had ever asked me out, and im too insecure to date smaller guys.
and is it weird i have abnormaly small feet for my height… a size 7 ??
i dont have the best facial structure so its not like i can be a model either…
soo its kinda depressing at the minute…
i understand you petite girls too cause my best friend is 5 foot (we look odd together) but she hates it and she gets picked on often aswell…. x
When I was younger I used to HATE my height. But now I don’t mind my height. In fact, during Halloween I’m glad I’m short, because I can go trick-or-treating without getting strange looks.
My weight doesn’t bother me as much now most of the time, but I do get annoyed when someone points out how short I am.
*Although, I do still wish I was about 3 to 5 inches taller, because I’d have the figure I’m supposed to have (short and stocky is NOT cute).
I’m around 5’7″- 5’8″. I’m actually not real sure on how tall I am. I try and avoid being measured My whole life even as a child I’ve noticed I was taller than the kids around me. I ‘m also pretty skinny around 135 in weight. I’m actually insecure about both my height and my weight.. I’m currently trying to gain more weight. I use to not be able to stand short girls who would complain about being shorter..or even comment that they love being short. I found it annoying and made me feel more insecure growing up. I would love to just be normal height 5’4″- 5’5″, but it’s not like i can do anything about it. I recently discovered my biological father. He is around 6’4″-6’4″ and my mom clams to be 5’7″ so I really can’t do anything about it. I’m almost 22, but I have fears sometimes that I will get even taller because my father is so tall. My grandmother was also around 6’. My step dad use to always saw I was growing like a weed. I hated when he’d say I might be taller than him when I grow up..it use to make me feel manly and awkward like I was doing something wrong. I use to eat less healthy food and not sleep as much to stunt my growth.
Honestly I just need to get over it and have more confidence it’s just hard to not look around and wish I fit in visually with the average girl even my boyfriend is almost the same height as me. I’ve never dated someone more than 1-2″ taller than myself…
Whoa, this whole discussion was really eye-opening for me. I had no idea so many people felt insecure about their height.
I’m only 5’1″, and wear a size 10 petite. The only time my height worries me is when I need something from a high shelf, or when I go shopping. It’s so darn hard to find clothes! (Although it actually, seems to have gotten easier in the last few years. Maybe that’s just me?)
Physical inconveniences aside, I’ve never had a problem with being short, or received negative comments about my size.
I do think it would be a good thing if we could expand our standard of beauty a bit, vis-a-vis height. It would be nice if short, beautiful actors, models, and dancers could easily find work…
I’m 5’5 and I wouldn’t say I’m insecure about my height. Sure sometimes I wish I were taller but who doesn’t? The only times I really have problems are getting pants, (don’t get me started on capris) reaching things on high shelves and when my little brother (who is 6 foot something) uses my head as an arm rest…..grrrr lol
I’m 6 ft tall and I, well, hate it. Not because of clothes, but because people act like I have a horn sticking out of my forehead. “How tall are you!?” “Do you play basketball!?” I always thinking that, if I say my height, what does that change? Will it make me less mythical?
I wouldn’t go up to someone really short and ask them, or someone really skinny or really large. There are tall people in the world, dammit, so I don’t want to be treated like a weirdo because I’m tall.
And yes I do want to date a guy taller than me. I want to go home to someone I can look up to after 19 years of looking down to everyone. (All of my friends are on the short side. First friend in college is barely 5ft, and we make quite an entrance. Great people, but I wanna look up!)
However, my animation class has a lot of tall people. :D Makes me feel comfortable. I also like to stand close to the basketball girls to feel “normal” for just a little bit.
I’m 5’9″ and it usually sucks. I’m taller than almost all of my friends, even when they’re wearing heels and I’m in socks.
I did online dating for sometime and met quite a few guys who said they were 5’10 or 11″ and were shorter than me. Sweet. My bf is about 6’1″ and I’m only 4″ shorter than he is. I love feeling like a freak.
On top of that, I’m one of those girls who actually DO have a large frame. They do exist. I wear a size 12W womens shoe, sometimes just 12 but can’t find much in my style or price range other than orthopedic granny shoes, diabetic shoes, hooker heels or dyable bridal wear. No cute strappy summer sandals for me! I can’t wear standard jewelry because the bracelets either wont clasp shut, or wont fit over my giant man hands and/or wrists. Yes, man hands. I wear a mens size large glove. Womens gloves don’t fit past my first set of knuckles. I can’t even FORCE them on. No cute winter gloves for me!
As a result, I don’t get to feel very girly very often. I’m just short enough that “tall” pants are too long but they don’t make plus size tall stuff at a decent price anyway. But I’m also 25 and don’t want to dress like an old lady. I can’t wear pretty shoes (mens sandals are my staple), most jewelry, anything cute and in season.
The only redeeming thing? I’m strong and with decent stamina. If you ever need any heavy lifting, I’m your go-to guy. So much for being feminine.
me – 5’10 1/2″ 350lbs
him – 5′ 5″ 125lbs
5 kids, bgggb, in varying heights and weights
I think we are the extreme opposite of what most would find normal simple because I’m the bigger taller one. It’s a challenge to go out confidentally but I do. It’s not uncommon for us to be stared at or pointed to. And even stopped if we have the kids with us.
I’m 5’10” & I was already 5’9″ by the time I was 14, my mom & my sister are three to four inches shorter & my dad & brother maybe 2 to 3 inches taller. So I am the black sheep in that respect.
One thing I do like is being close to men in height, that part is cool. But I HATE being taller than other women.
I’m six foot two, (six foot six im my favorite heels) Never wanted to be shorter, just wanted a smaller head. The thing that annoys me about my height has always been the way certain(usually insecure and male folks respond to it. I often get questions regarding my sexuality and even my gender. My favorite ignorant comment: Oh she’s entirely too big to be a girl” yawn.
I tend to vacillate a lot between wanting to be taller and being happy with my height. I’m 19, 5’3″, and a UK size 12 (I think I’m about a US 8-10).
-Sometimes I feel like I’d be taken a bit more seriously if I was taller. That people wouldn’t assume I’m like 3 years younger than I am. Mostly, I just make sure any meetings I’m in are seated, so that’s not too bad.
-I love when my feet don’t touch the floor on public transport. This happens quite a bit, but I can swing my legs and pretend I’m living in a giant’s world. Crazy, and ridiculously immature, but it puts a smile on my face!
-I feel invisible sometimes when I’m going out because I can’t walk in heels, and most of my female friends are a good 4 inches taller than me to start with…then they all have heels… and I end up feeling like the little cousin following them around. They get a lot more attention from both guys and girls.
-I like that my height is pretty much average: I rarely tower over anyone, or feel dwarfed by anyone, which makes me feel like I blend better (*feel like- I’m still quite socially awkward :P).
I remember standing at the bus stop with my mother for my first day of school. Next to us was a woman of asian descent (I think she was Korean, but I am not sure) and at 6 years old I was 4’6″ tall and 83 lbs., nearly as tall and as heavy as she was. I’ve had insecurities about my height and feet length for as long as I can remember. I envied girls who could sit in chairs and have their feet not touch the floor. I wanted to be the girl who had to get on tip toes — or better yet, call someone like me– to reach things. For years I felt like being shorter than I am was somehow more “normal”, and normalcy was something I strived for since I always was taller, darker, had bigger feet, thicker hair or something else that made me different from other young girls. I wished I could be the girl who got picked up and tossed in the pool, but being taller and bigger than most guys my age, it was probably too intimidating a thing to even think of doing. I used to abhor wearing high heels; partly because wearing a size 11/12 there was absolutely nothing cute that I could get that was within my mother’s (or later my own) price range. I couldn’t– and still can’t– go to a normal store in the mall and buy anything that my girlfriends buy be it clothes or shoes.
Now, I still have some issues, but I have come to embrace my height. I am a big girl, six feet four in my favorite heels and nearly 300 lbs. I’ve got a brickhouse figure with large thighs and a big butt and I love it all. Sometimes, yeah I wish my thighs were a tad bit smaller and my waist was what it used to be when I was 17… when I was so preoccupied with the stigma of being a big girl that I didn’t notice how beautiful and statuesque I really was, and am. As for the boys, I certainly realize that most of them who picked on my were only voicing their own insecurities because of how I towered over them. I love a tall tall man, because there is nothing better than hugging someone and having my face sit on their chest rather than over his shoulder. But the tall men in my area seem to go for girls who are 5’5″ and below, and the only men that seem to be interested in me are the ones 5’6″ and below who have a fetish for climbing large things. Ain’t that bout a bitch? Oh well. Now, especially being the weight I am and carrying it all in my hips, I wouldn’t trade my height for most anything at all.