The Snappy Comeback
Manolo for the Big Girl linked to an awesome snappy comeback story from Dancing Down the Moon that will warm the heart of any fat person who has found themselves in the embarrassing position of having someone say something mean about their size in public. That was kind of a convoluted sentence, but… well, go read.
The woman is now weighing the pros and cons of having skim milk versus two percent milk in her latte, and she says, “God, I don’t know, I just feel so, like, fat today. I feel like such a big fat cow.”
Then she turns to me, and she says, GET THIS, “How do you stand it every day?”
I blink.
The adorable pierced-and-tattooed boy en flambe blinks.
Several heads in the cafe pop up because nobody can believe this woman actually said this to a total stranger. I feel as if the sitcom camera is pulling in tight for a closeup on my reaction.
But the gods of snark are smiling upon me today. I reply, straightfaced, “You know, it’s normally not too bad, but today I’m having one of those days where I feel like a shallow dumb bitch. How do you stand it every day?”
I would never have had the presence of mind to come up with that comeback; that is hilarious! (Thanks to Laurie for sending along the link.)
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Advocacy, Fat Positive, Fatism, Tidbit
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Bwahahahahahahah!!!! Oh my god, I would never be able to be that clever and witty in a scant thirty seconds. Those are the kinds of responses I come up with much later, long after the episode.
But then again, I really don’t have anyone comment on my size in public anymore, either.
That is brilliant! I hope that woman was properly shamed and humbled by it.
That is AWESOME!!!!!!!!
Oh, I wish I’d been there! I totally would have paid for her coffee/food/beverage of choice.
Dammit, I can never think of stuff like that on the fly! Man, what I wouldn’t give to have seen her face.
That’s SWEET!!!
Alyssa – the barista did – AND he gave the mean lady whole milk. “Oops.” :)
WOW! I have heard some catty comments about my weight, but never something as blatant as that….nor in public.
I will have to keep the comeback in mind SHOULD that ever happen to me!!!
Hope it’s not copyrighted!!!
I’m not really sure there is anything more perfect anyone could have thought of to say. Brava!
It’s amazing what people will just say while standing in line.
The other day, a man in front of me at a bakery asked for a female cookie. The cashier asked, “What’s a female cookie?” To which the man replied, They’re the ones without nuts.
I couldn’t stop laughing………………:)
That is fantastic; I would never have come up with such a great comeback off the cuff. Score!
Fat Chicks 1, Skinny Shrews, Zip. Thank you for sharing this story. It’s been a rotten day, and this helped! I hope I can keep that stored away in case I ever need it… :-D
mccn, that totally rocks!
LisaN, LMAFO!!!!
If only I could come up with retorts like that when someone says something to me. Honestly, though- I don’t get really shocking things said to me all that often anymore. I once had a friend ask why I don’t just get liposuction- but I explained that you can only do so much with lipo and I excused her because she’s from LA and.. well, pretty much steeped in the “plastic surgery fixes everything” mentality.
I’m also horribly bad at coming up with hilarious retorts at the time when something happens, IE: Me going into Hollister with a thin friend of mine and another customer asking me why I was in there in the first place because there was “like, no way” I could fit into any clothes they sold. My mind just completely blanks and wonders how any decent human being could say that to a total stranger and I only come up with something snappy to say back long after I leave the store.
Besides that, skim milk or not, I don’t think latte’s are the most calorie conscious drinks, but I could be wrong. Especially if it’s one of those cups that are the size of a childs head.
I know i can never think of that crap either. I’m about a size 10 or 12 and today at the gym this woman asked me if I was pregnant. All I could think to say was nope. AND THEN she asked me if I just had a baby. And again all I could think to say was no I’m just pudgy. I was just so shocked I’m surprised I could think at all.
yeah I would have come up with that————3 days later.
:)
M.
Hey ladies, thought you might be interested in doing a post on this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=526769&in_page_id=1773
It’s amazing how many immature idiots are out there just waiting to make fun of or say stupid comments to people of any size, and most are adults.
I can honestly say it’s been so long since anyone has made a snide comment about my weight. They may silently mock me, but I haven’t been publicly targeted. Maybe it’s because I look too mean.
Meghan – that type of stuff is why I abandoned the university gym I was a member of.
Girls actually blow-dry their hair and put on makeup TO GO WORK OUT at this gym. I was walking on the treadmill, because running + big boobs + bad knees = pain, and a pert little number came up and asked “excuse me….are you going to be WALKING much longer?”. All I could think to say was “yes, I only just started”, she sniffed, looked me up and down for the third time, and stepped back to stand with her arms crossed, making if clear how inconvenient this was for her.
Then I noticed that I was the only person she’d asked, the other treadmills were full of girls like her running. I wish I’d come up with something about surgical recovery to make her feel guilty.
At least at the same gym, when I used the rowing machine, a guy on the machine next to me gave me props for it, since he’d never seen a single woman use the things before.
I got this in email and I laughed out loud at work.
And then i was so incredibly jealous of the writer. I mean, I WISH
— My coffeeshop had a deliciously cute barista
— I was as brilliantly a prose writer as she
— I could come up with such a brilliant comeback (and calmly, as well) within a half hour of something like that, much less immediately!