Friday Open Thread
May 23rd, 2008
Here’s your open thread, with a tidbit to kick off discussion: what has the size acceptance movement done to make you feel good about yourself?
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Fat Positive, Feel Good Friday, Feminism, Meta
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FA has made me more appreciative of what my body can do. I’m fat, but I can live without physical restriction.
FA made me greet the news that my girlfriend had bought us brand spanking new road bikes with genuine enthusiasm. A few nights ago, I realized that I am, in fact strong. Now that I’ve worked out downshifting, I can chug up hills on my bike without standing on the pedals. Whee!
It has educated me. It has provided me with role models. It has given me a voice with which to speak my experience.
The size acceptance movement has helped me realize, I’m not alone in feeling angst towards size-discrimination. That it doesn’t mean I’m being a whiner or a joykill, that I do have valid points and other people agree with them.
That I don’t need to beat myself up for being at my natural size. That fat isn’t the epidemy of being diseased, and that there is science to prove that, except that science just never makes it to the media cause it doesn’t perpetuate the OMGZ TEH FATZ!
I don’t need to worry that I don’t exercise everyday, or that maybe I need to sleep more often than some people. It doesn’t mean I’m being a lazy person, that I am able to listen to my body and do what it asks of me to do for it.
That thin people aren’t the enemy, societial norms and the media, are the problem. That thin people are told to hate themselves too, because no matter how thin you are it’s not enough.
That fat acceptance is my cause, and I’m glad to be a part of it. I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for FA. I don’t know if I’d still be under the belief that being fat is my fault, and I should be yo-yo dieting.
I also noticed that my involvement in fat acceptance has helped those in my family, realize that you don’t need to be on a diet. That it’s healthier not being on a diet, and simply listening to your body.
The only thing that really has bothered me about the fat acceptance movement, is the don’t buy calorie numbered food, like 100 calorie packs. More people should realize it’s not always about the calories.
I’m lactose intolerant, if I have what’s measured to be let’s say 100 calories worth of M&Ms, I’ll feel satisfied and not nearly as sick as I would if I ate a normal bag of M&Ms.
Also portion control is difficult to master, especially when you have more food than you need on your plate, in a candy bag, whatever. I really do like the dressing spritzer bottles, even if their claim is they’re less calories. Sometimes it’s not about the calories, it’s about the convenience.
And if it’s going against fat acceptance cause I’m not going to arse myself, to portion out my food, then that would probably get back into a debate about what lazy means.
It has helped me realize that I am a human being, deserving of love and ~DAZZLE and respect! It has also made me more aware of how I treat and react to others. It has made me enjoy clothing more. It has made me enjoy ME more! “Meeting” everyone, getting to read their stories, has helped me see that I’m not alone in this fight and that there’s a whole community of awesome strong folks who have my back!
I agree about the 100 calorie packs. I buy them all the time because they make great snacks at work (although the Oreo bars taste like cardboard, stay away from those)! And I definitely want to try to the salad spritzers because I don’t like a lot of dressing on my salads, and what can I say, I love spray bottles.
FA has made me aware of intuitive eating and that buying into fat myths is harmful. That I don’t have an eating disorder, but I do have disordered thinking when it comes to food. It’s also made me more assertive when it comes to dealing with fatphobes, both on the internet and out of it.
I don’t apologize for taking up space anymore.
My two favorite things to do are travel and go to concerts. Both can be a living hell for a big fattie like me.
Since becoming a part of this movement, I don’t apologize when I ask for help to make sure I AM comfortable in my airplane seat. I used to only worry about the comfort of my seatmate
I don’t apologize for being larger than someone who is sitting next to me at a concert. The seats are smaller and that is not my fault, so why should I be the one to apologize.
I’m enjoying my travel and concert experiences much more these days!
I’m dressing more ‘girly.’
I used to avoid skirts and dresses, and now I want more, more, more! I don’t care if it’s impractal to wear dresses and skirts while chasing after toddlers; I love how I feel in them, and I think it shows.
I’ve always felt like I was running a One Woman Fat Acceptance Show!
So anyone who would compliment be on being so pretty ‘in the face’ would get an earful, anyone who gave me a dirty look, a snide comment, a pinch on the ass etc…..got a little education in Fat Acceptance!
So, knowing that there are so many others who work so hard at actually being productive makes me feel like I am not alone in being fat AND happy. Which, I think is often a lonely place to be!
So many people are fat, but hate it or think it’s disgusting…I love it. And I find that most of the women I think are beautiful are to some degree….fat. Or thick, or curvy.
It’s made me more aware of my own prejudices when it comes to size. I am far less likely now to get all judgemental on the super-thin, because size acceptance is about accepting people at any size.
I am learning to be more comfortable with me.
I am not afraid to admit I need more space. To buy that second seat on the airline when my husband and I travel, like we are this winter to Hawaii. Though it is ungodly outrageous, for me, my personal comfort outweighs(no pun intended) the cost.
I am learning to ask for what I need. If I need a chair without arms on it, I ask. If I need extra time, I take it. I have decided that I am worthy. I am more than just the outer shell that people see. I am still a kind hearted soul who deserves every ounce or respect and dignity that all the rest of the “normal sized” world does.
Bree, you should try the Newman’s Own Balsemic sald sprayer. It’s delicious! Also, about the 100 calorie packs. They now have 100 calorie candybars! I can’t really eat them much cause I am lactose intolerant, but they have one that’s like Reese’s Peices that’s divine.
I’m more aware of sizeism/fatism in daily interactions and in the media, which makes me more resistant to it. I don’t feel ashamed to feel sexy. I knew before that ‘thin’ and ‘healthy’ weren’t necessarily equivalent, but now I know that ‘fat’ and ‘healthy’ aren’t mutually exclusive. I’ve stopped treating hunger like an enemy. I’ve stopped thinking so much about what I eat and whether I should or shouldn’t eat it. I’m more aware of my compulsive eating. I feel like I’m on track to eventually have a healthy relationship with food and my body; prior to discovering HAES and body-positive blogs online, that had seemed completely unattainable. And all of those things make me feel amazing about myself. Good job, me.
And thank you.
It’s made me stop being judgmental of others’ appearances (not just related to weight). When I see someone and my knee-jerk thought is to criticize their outfit or physique or something, I force myself to think of at least one positive thing about her (usually her) appearance.
I am trying really hard to stop criticizing myself in the same way. It’s much easier to point out positive things about others than myself.
I try not to restrict myself because of size restrictions that I assume come from others (but that really come from me). I stand in the locker room in my underwear instead of hiding in a beach towel. I plop my ass down between two people on the subway even if the seat looks too small (99% of the time it isn’t). I try on trendy styles of clothing that one would ordinarily expect to see on twig people and not me. Etc.
I also point out bullshittery that I see in media, whether it’s someone unconditionally related fat to health or using the phrase “obesity crisis.” Or calling some size 2 celeb “fat.” And other general bullshit that abounds.
It helped me stand up to a doctor.
I’ve always hated going to the doctor and hearing how unhealthy I am and how I am at risk for a crapton of health issues despite being healthy every time the test results come back. For the first time after reading about how a fat woman refuses to get weighed at the doctors I began to see how it’s hurtful sometimes for them to weigh me. This past physical I went to, the doctor looked at my charts and assumed I would probably have high cholesterol, and high blood sugar. All without knowing me or my diet, she assumed that I had to have the stereotypical fat maladies. I told her she’d probably find that I was fine, but she ordered the blood work anyway. Fast forward two weeks and she comes to fine I am what you’d call the picture of health if you added 100 lbs. I asked her what my tests said and she couldn’t bring herself to call me healthy. I asked her again, and told her to ignore the weight and then tell me if I was healthy or unhealthy. She relented and told me I was fine, but I needed to lose weight. I told her I disagreed because as of now I was happy and healthy and that’s what mattered. She was dumbfounded and couldn’t think of anything to say other than “well, maybe just start moving more.”
It’s also helped call myself fat. Before I’d be afraid of saying the word out loud, now I describe myself as fat, and my friends tend “aw, don’t say that” as if I’m insulting myself somehow. I tell them, no, I am fat, and that’s okay. Usually they are confused but have slowly gotten better with not being afraid of the word.
Size-acceptance has taught me to focus on living in a way that feels good for me, whether or not it conforms to someone else’s expectations or prejudices.
I just danced the night away with my friends, dressed up to the nines. A few years ago I would have been paralyzed by the anxious awareness that I was the fattest person on the dance floor, and that my belly jiggles. Tonight I just danced and shimmied and had a fabulous time, because it felt so good. As a side-benefit, my friends all complemented my dancing- I even heard the word sexy!
It let me exercise without worrying that everyone would be looking at me.
I was lucky enough to come to terms with myself (mostly) on my own, but that was the last hurdle.
I have always been super hard on myself. I come from a family of athletic or slim people. I’ve been forced onto scales by my father and relatives because of a “contest” to see who was the heaviest. And I always thought that I wasn’t much of a person because I was… am… fat.
Doing simple things, like shopping… or getting my hair done, I would always compare myself to the skinny minnies who work at the shops and feel embarrassed just for being there. It’s in times like these that I would have to repeat the mantra
“I am a valid person, I deserve to be here as much as the next person”
In the beginning that was a lot harder to tell myself then it should have been. But, because I’m starting to see so many women around me not afraid of their sizes, rolls, or “chubbiness” I feel as though I’m finally starting to accept the person that I am. That I don’t merely have to tell myself that I’m valid, I go into these places and shops with only a slight hesitation… which will soon turn into expectation.
Oh, and it’s helped me to stand up and get seconds.
When ever I’m at a party, or there’s a buffet or event where food is involved, I always felt restricted to only one helping, or only one cookie, or only one handful of chips. Why? Because I would feel, see people watching my ascent to the table and judge me as I reach for the food. And then I would have to dodge their glances to make it look like I didn’t hear any of their comments on my way back to my seat.
But, at the same time, it was ok for the thin people to go up an fill their plates 4 maybe even 5 times and no body would bat an eyelash.
Well, F- that. If that *insert food item here* is yummy, I’m going for seconds… and heaven forbid maybe even thirds.
If you can’t indulge at a party, then when can you indulge.
I googled and didn’t find a discussion about Bitch magazine’s “Lavender menace” article featured in issue 38 (i think is the winter one). Can someone point me to it if the entry exists?
Sorry, no link cause if i post it, my comment dissapears. Just google bitch lavender menace
I learned to listen to what my body wants to eat, because that is what it needs. Learned to eat as much as I want and stop when I am full, and that no matter what my body feels like eating, I’m not a stereotype. Not a good fattie. Not a bad fattie.
Like Jazmin, I learned to stand up to a doctor. That having a degree doesn’t give you rights to judge on people’s health by the way they look. That these people with degrees have been receiving the wrong information from university. And that universities CAN fail.
As a feminist, I learned that fat is a feminist issue. That now that we can vote and we can work, that we are not trapped in society and our houses, the system wants to trap us in our bodies. Remember when women wearing pants and having jobs was outrageous? Just like now never fearing our needs and loving our curves is outrageous.
Size Acceptance taught me how to be this outrageous. It sort of gave me a sense of fashion. Now I can discriminate what I wear, choose what doesn’t hide my body attributes, and not only put on circus tents and things to cover me. It made me realise I had these body attributes.
My consolation used to be that I was beautiful on the inside. Size Acceptance showed me I was beautiful on the outside too.
It also showed me skinny girls weren’t to be blamed for my problems. That fat can be healthy and skinny can be unhealthy. That tiny girls can have a huge appetite while I can just crave some yogurt and a banana. And there was nothing wrong with that. I have friends that come in all sizes and I love them to bits. There’s no skinny bias against them. There’s no fat bias against me either.
It reassured me that it is possible that my partner is not with me because I’m the best he could get, and that it is possible that he doesn’t wish he was with Keira Knightley. That he finds me beautiful inside and outside. That I don’t need to be jealous, because it is possible to be loved as I am. And if this isn’t true, it is not my fault.
It made me be more alert and discriminate sizeism, no matter how formal and subtle it looks. It made me stand out for myself and those who are and are not like me. To challenge stereotypes. It made me want to turn myself into a living proof that I am not a stereotype. And show this to the world.
It made me go back to blogging. It made me go back to writing. It made me want to read again. It made me feel truly passionate about something, for the first time in a million years. I’m falling in love with a topic again, instead of just roaming around and waiting for university (and my life) to be over.
Let’s say it made me wake up again.
Merry Christmas to all… and to all a good night.