Are You Insecure About Your Height?
The idea of height insecurity was touched on in the comments of a recent post, and I thought it was worthy of some more discussion. Below are comments from Arlene, MarqueeMoon, and Beth.
You know, everyone is always going on and on and on about how models are so impossibly skinny and set an impossible standard for the rest of us women and shouldn’t all models weigh the same as normal people and stop warping our minds in terms of what we feel we’re supposed to look like to be considered attractive? But nobody ever mentions anything about height. Yeah, I’m never going to be 102 pounds, but I’m also never going to be 5?10?
Exactly…I’m barely over 100 lbs, but I’m also only 5?3. I’m skinny as fuck and my weight doesn’t worry me- it’s my height I obsess over. I feel unattractive most of the time because I am not 5?11 and leggy like a model.
Ha. The height thing is so true and it is the main way that Barbie dolls fucked up my head — I never really expected to be wasp-waisted with huge boobs, but damn it, I wanted to be six feet tall. I still don’t quite feel like a grown-up because I’m not as proportionately tall as Barbie.
I’m 5′9″ myself, so I’ve never felt the pressure to be tall or for that matter, any validation because I’m tall. I have always envied shorter fat women who have the “short and cute” thing going on, because they’re still petite, still “smaller” on some level. For many years I was obsessed with being “smaller” than the men I dated, because “women are supposed to be smaller” (not very feminist of me, I know). I’ve dated a lot of tall guys, and my husband is 6′3″, so… there’s that.
There’s also this: when my friend at work complains about being “a midget” I think she can’t possibly be serious, because she’s not only petite height-wise, but thin as well as beautiful, so where’s the problem? But now I realize she may genuinely be insecure about her height, and I find that very interesting. I’ve really been dismissive (in my head) of what it turns out is a genuine insecurity that I have never really given much thought to!
So where do you stand? Are you tall, short, thin, round? Are you insecure about your height? Do we need to start a height acceptance movement? (I think I feel a tagline coming on.)
Posted by mo pie
I’m 6′0″ on the nose, and beleive it or not, there are times when I would love to be one of you cute, skinny, teeny women. Although I’m somewhat proud of my height, I feel like it makes me a very intimidating person to others, which in turn makes me very self-concious and makes me try even harder to come across nice and funny and smile all the time. Of course being called ‘Sasquatch’ and/or ‘Ostrich’ in school brought on a bunch of insecurities, but being this tall isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Oh, and let’s not even BEGIN to talk about finding pants that fit! Never mind that being plus sized sucks enough for me, let’s add 8″ to my legs and see how fun THAT can be! I’m not bitter…really!
I’m 5′8″ and I’ve always dreamed of being one of those tiny little pixie girls – like barely 5′ tall. I just imagine that being so little and dainty, I could be generally more feminine and girly (I love being girly). I also love the idea of being easily picked up, because I am weirdly unfeminist and adore being picked up and squealing girlishly, and right now I am just too big – even if I was thin I’d still be pretty much too big.
I am 5′2 and round. I have only wanted to be taller when there are things I can’t reach; middle and top shelf of cupboards, closets, store shelves etc.
5′4″ here, and the only reason I’ve ever wanted to be taller is because it’s so damn hard to find pants off the rack that aren’t too long! Shirt sleeves, too. :)
As a professional opera singer it’s actually to my advantage to be on the petite side, because so many of the leading men are actually very short!
I am 5′8″ and hated it when I was young. Mostly because I shot up and was a 5′6″ D-cup by the time I was 13. That was tough to deal with. I always wanted to be shorter because, as you said, if you’re chubby and short you are “cute”. If you’re a huge awkward teen girl you’re well, sasquatch. I hated that I wasn’t a tiny cheerleader. But now that I’m older I like my height. It makes me feel different and (besides the whole trying to find long pants thing) I think I can pull off lots of clothing styles. I love to wear heels so I’m super tall! This is a good post. I guess there are some physical attributes that I do really love about myself! :)
Super Blonde…the picking up thing!!! How could I forget that?! Now I just figure I have to date a big 6′5″ dude if I want that to happen! :)
I am 5 feet tall and incredibly sensitive about my height. As much as I am obsessive over keeping my weight down, It’s almost worse that I feel like a tiny, weird dwarf whenever I stand next to my taller friends. I LIVE in 4 inch heels! Even though I am not overweight at all, I feel like a tiny, round dumpy all the time. Heightism is just as bad as weightism. Plus you can’t do anything about it!
I’m 5′2. I’m not too overweight (145), but I’ve never been skinny either. I like being short. I like feeling very small next to a man.
I’m something like 5′2″ (1,57m), and I’m… er, square. It doesn’t matter whether I have extra pounds or not, I’m still the square, sturdy type. If we were in a fantasy world, I would probably make a pretty good Dwarf rather than just your random human. ;)
I was more concerned by my height when I was younger, perhaps because I always was the tallest one in my class until about 11, after which I basically stopped growing, and only gained a few more centimeters. Now, I just don’t care that much; it’s just not always convenient when it comes to clothes–I’m tired of having to chop 20 cm from every pair of pants I buy–but I don’t sweat over it.
I’m 4′11″, and mildly twitchy about my height. I was teased a lot about being short when I was a kid, and took until I was about 35 to even vaguely calm down about it.
I’m not girly, and don’t like the idea of being easy to pick up. Squealing is not an option.
However, I’m not one of those thin short women, and I do appreciate that I probably get less flack for my weight than I would if I were a foot taller.
I keep track when people talk about genetic engineering–do they list “tall” as one of the first desirable traits? When it’s listed, I feel as though some noticeable number of people would rather that I don’t exist. For what it’s worth, tall doesn’t seem to be as commonly listed.
And I hated Randy Newman’s “Short People”, though I get the impression short jokes weren’t as common after it came out, so it may have served its purpose.
Other than that, there are minor issues of practicality. There are bookstores where I can’t get at the higher shelves. Having a clerk hand the book or magazine down isn’t the same. I’m more likely to have my view blocked at a public event. Most chairs make it hard for me to rest my feet on the ground (my legs are short relative to my height)–on the other hand, I actually fit into airplane seats.
I’m 5′6″ or 5′7″, depending how recently i’ve been to my chiropractor (no joke). I feel big and small at the same time.
My dad’s parents were of wildly different heights – he was 6′6″, she was 5′3″ (but shrank in her later years to about 5′ even). My dad’s about 5′11″, and my brother is an even 6′. My mom is about 5′4″.
Statistics aside, i don’t really think much about my height, to be honest. I’m not particularly insecure about it, and if someone on the street made a nasty comment about my height, i’d probably blink and laugh at them for thinking i cared.
In my family, I got/get a lot of ribbing for my height (5′6″) but my family was never critical or derisive about my weight. This is what happens when your family of origin starts at 5′8″ and goes to 6′5″ and you’re the shortest one.
Still, I’ve never been particularly bothered by it, unlike I would have been with comments about my weight. Funny, that. Also, I married into a family with a bunch of short people so I actually seem kind of tall when I hang around them. Go figure.
I’m totally with you on the desire to feel smaller somehow. I’m only 5′8″, but I’ve always felt like some gargantuess because of my weight. Not to mention the fact that I’m kind of built like a linebacker (not very large breasts, very wide back, no waist, no hips) so all my life I’ve felt this need to prove that yes, I really am a girl. I’ve also been drawn to taller men for this reason. But strangely enough I don’t mind dating shorter women.
Although I’m pretty much average–5′5″ in shoes–I’ve always seen myself as short, and it is always a shock to realize I’m taller than soemone. Since everyone else in my family is tall, I just have a default opinion of myself as short.
i’m a smidge shorter than 5′3″ and chubby. i don’t want to be that much taller but 5′6″ would be nice. :) so many of the larger girl fashions seem to be made for someone much taller than me and that’s frustrating.
I’m 5′3 and small. While I’ve always wanted to be a bit taller say, 5′6 or 5′7 it was mostly due to the fact that I was an athlete and it would have given me an edge. Now I wish I was a bit taller so guys will stop trying to “protect” me! I can’t do anything without someone wanting to help me because of “you poor little thing you couldn’t possibly lift (insert anything over 5lbs here)!” The attention is nice but not the assumption that I am weak and incapable. Take a look at my guns buddy! They may be small but they can get me through an hour of swimming any day! Sorry for the rant but you are on to something here.
I’ 5′4″ which makes me exactly average height for the US, the UK and Australia (the countries where I have lived), according to most of the statistics I can find on this. However, I still have to get “petite” length pants in shops and most people think I’m short.
I’m surprised so many tall larger women want to be small – we certainly look rounder and there’s less of us to distribute weight over, so we look plumper quicker. Those how to dress shows always recommend massively high heels to “lengthen our legs and slim the silhouette” becase tall generally looks skinnier, and it mimics that gawky growth spurt stage of teenagerhood that seems to be considered the epitome of female attractiveness at the moment. Not that it doesn’t suit teenage girls, its just a bit weird to try and look that way for the rest of our lives.
I guess the point is that most women really are unhappy with their bodies for SOME reason. Is it s smart idea to try to bend the world to our wishes? Aren’t we better off working on our own perspectives and realizing that what other people say about us says more about them than it does about us?
I have spent a large portion of my life perseverating about my weight. So completely absorbed in my own self loathing was I that I completely missed how unhappy the other girls and women are. Recently I started really listening to others and have been astonished at the people who are unhappy with themselves. These women who I would have pegged as tall and willowy – beautiful – are not happy because their wrists are too bony or their legs aren’t shapely or because their breasts aren’t big enough. It suddenly occurred to me that the very things about me that I may not like are the very things that others may find attractive.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. So – the key is to look kindly on yourself when beholding your own image. We are all okay just the way we are. Take care of the body you have – be healthy – everything else is just gravy – right?
I’m pretty happy with being 5′7″ but sometimes it is slightly annoying because I’m already HUGE and I feel like I scare small children- add that to being TALL too, and it’s not a pretty package. At least for me.
On the flip side, at least I carry my 400+ lbs fairly well due to being taller.
I’m 6′1″. I always just say that I’m a giant, because I kind of am. I’m surrounded by little people, unless I’m around my family of fellow-giants or my boyfriend (who is 6′3″ish). I don’t always like feeling so big compared to other people, but I also accept that it is what it is and I can’t do anything about it (nor would I want to, even if there were things that I could do to change this). I wear heels and I stand tall and proud, so I seem alright from the outside. It’s just that on the inside, sometimes I’m all, “why couldn’t I just be 5′11″ like my sister?”
Ah well.
I’m 6′ and I have been this tall since I was 13. I think that made growing up pretty tough. I hate feeling like an amazon woman. I also hate that when in crowded bars I cannot hear what my shorter friends are saying without bending over. Though, it is easy to find people.
It is weird though, I am the only woman in my department and I am the tallest member by about 6″. I think people find me very intimidating as a result.
I’m just under 5′4, which I maintain is the most annoying height ever, because everything is *just* out of reach or *just* too long. I wouldn’t much mind being on the shorter side if it wasn’t so obnoxious.
My height, though, is less to do with genetics (I’m the shortest adult in my entire family, both sides) and more to do with the medications needed to manage my asthma as a kid. When it comes down to a choice between breathing or having gotten my couple of “missing” inches, I’ll take breathing any time.
I’m average height now, but as a kid I was always tall for my age. I hated it because I felt I had to act the age I looked, rather than the age I really was, and it felt like it shortened my childhood.
Currently I’m 5′5 1/2″ and it’s a little weird when I go to my boyfriend’s family’s house because I’m the tallest person there! He comes from a family of very short people, and I’m slightly taller than he is.
I’m 5′7″ and while that’s not exactly Jolly Green Giant tall, it’s only been very recently that I’ve accepted my height. I HATED being tall all my life. Hearing that I was a “giraffe”, being described at my work as, “the tall girl”. Not to mention the fact that I have an eating disorder, and people like to bring up my height inconjunction with my weight. “You could pull off that weight if you were smaller, but since you’re so tall you look unhealthy.” or “You gained weight? I guess because you are so tall that I just didn’t notice at first.” It’s maddening! I’m trying to get the body thing under control, but people feel that they can bring it up, as long as they bring up my height with it. It’s almost never just about my weight, good or bad, they always feel compelled to bring my height into the equation. Every time I think I’m coming closer to accepting myself and getting it under control, someone has to open their mouth and set me back again. Grr…
I’m just a hair under 5′3″ but I always forget that I’m short because I wear chunky heels all the time. In fact, when I’m out of shoes and see someone that I normally see when shod, I always ask (sometimes just in my head) “When did you get taller than me?!?”. I don’t feel short until I realize that most people probably don’t keep a wooden spoon next to the cupboard so they can hook the handle of a mug on the top shelf and slide it down into their hands. =P
5″3/4″ — I joke that I am a cube. as tall as I am wide etc. Even if I was thin I’d never be waif-like — I think I’d still be sturdy. I have a long torso and short legs and wide shoulders so I am not perceived as being “short” even though I am. Trust me when I can’t reach something in the grocery store or other store it is frustrating! so is having my feet “dangle”.
5′ 3/4″ not 5 inches. :)
I’m 5′6″ but my friends often think I am taller. I joke that it’s because I have a “tall personality.”
But I am the shortest of the five sisters in my family — two of whom are close to 6′ — so I do sometimes feel like the odd duck. I just compensate by wearing heels a lot of the time!
I’m 5′0″ and wear a size 28W. I’m practically spherical! I am very comforable with my size, both height and weight. There are certainly times I’d like to be taller and/or thinner (ie. reaching high shelves, painting walls, sitting in airplane seats) but most of the time I take the Popeye approach to life (“I am what I am”). I do often wish that my feet touched the ground when I sit down, but my wish is generally that the chair were shorter, not that my legs were longer. I have never worn a pair of high heels in my life, even when I had a boyfriend who was 6′6″.
At 5′9″, 118 pounds, I am officially model-like, and even so, I still feel “big” because of my height. I thought I was the only one. Turns out I was wrong.
I am 5′1″ and there is a plus side and a down side to it. The plus side is I do feel delicate and petite, especially when I am at my thinnest. This is one of the reasons I make an effort to stay thin. I like it that guys feel protective towards me. It also gives you a wider range of men to choose from (short men date short women, tall men often date short women).
The down side is not being taken seriously at times. You have to work harder to impose yourself if you are a very small woman. Also, I hate it when I go to clubs and only short guys hit on me. I have nothing against dating a short guy, but in a club I feel like they are only going for me because I’m short. It’s shallow, I know. :)
I’m 5′ exactly and I’ve almost always been chubby. I never think of my height unless someone else brings it up. My fiance is 5′7″ and I never think of him as short either – well I guess b/c he’s not short in comparison to me :). It’s only an issue when other people harp on it – but mostly I just think we are cute and our heights compliment each other.
At 5′2″ and 250 lbs, I would rather be taller than thinner. I would rather be 2 inches taller and the same weight (exact same, or proportional, whatevs, two inches isn’t very much) than lose ten, twenty, a hundred pounds. I’m just so freakin’ tired of not being able to reach anything. THERE IS NO SADFACE LARGE ENOUGH.
I should point out that my dad is tall and his family is all tall (and very skinny!) whereas I am almost a clone of my mom and her family, i.e., short and round. Low to the ground. For wind resistance. I’ve long wished to have my paternal relatives’ height.
I fall down a lot, though, so it’s probably good I’m so short. Less of a distance to fall.
I find that being fat makes clothes sizing strange with respect to height, too. I’m 5′5″, but find that “regular” length pants are ridiculously long on me at some stores (Lane Bryant, Eddie Bauer) but the petites are still a bit too short. I blame this on the fact that fat folks are fat in a lot of different ways, so since the stores are trying to make it work for everyone nothing ever fits *you* the way you want it to!!! Especially since I hate sewing!!
I don’t want to seem an asshole, but if an average-weight or slender woman said she’d never been validated for her weight, I would ask this: is it that you’ve never been validated, or that your validation is so much part of the cultural norm that you don’t notice it?
I’m 5′2″ (and pear-shaped, and overweight. Delicate and dainty I am not, no matter my weight.) Being picked up isn’t nice at all when it happens whether you want it to or not, and especially when you suspect it’s because the lifter can show off his strength. Being treated as a leaning post is unpleasant but can be dealt with by punching the leaner squarely in the ribs.
I sit on the bus and I slide off the seat with panic stops because my feet don’t reach the ground. I can’t reach the back of the top shelves in my kitchen even on a chair. I am claustrophobic as shit in crowds because I can’t see anything but backs. Dancing in a crowd requires vigilance ior moderate pain tolerance because someone swinging her arms at her chest level inattentively will hit me in the head.
I think it’s always hard to be different, but I think it really is worse to be short than tall. It’s certainly worse to be a short guy than a tall one.
As to pants, I have a 27″ inseam and the genetic gift of vast “saddlebags.” I wear a 14 petite if I’m lucky and can find a pair that don’t still need to be hemmed. (I am tired of paying to have my pants hemmed, and besides, lined pants and jeans are a bitch-and-a-half to hem by hand.) I wore high-waisted pants throughout the low-waist phase because I couldn’t find anything that dropped to my waist, because fat petites are vehemently restricted to the old-lady department. I tried both Torrid and Lane Bryant, and their pants are too goddamn long and if they fit at the hip, even if they weren’t too long in the leg, the crotch was at my knees.
“I fall down a lot, though, so it’s probably good I’m so short. Less of a distance to fall.”
LOL
4′11 and round… the only thing that bugs me about being short is that when I want to reach something on a higher shelf where ever I am .. I have to find someone to help me.. lol
I’m 5′ tall, and my normal build would best be described as “athletic with boobs.” I used to be more chubby/chunky. And right now I’m a pregnant belly with HUGE boobs. So, yeah, I’ve been all over the place.
Honestly, my height was more of a problem for me when I was larger because I used to always think “If I were just taller I would carry it better and I wouln’t look so short and squat.” But learning body acceptance came along with facing my binge eating problem, so by the time I was smaller, I just didn’t have the patience with body hate to develop any kind of complex about my height as a seperate issue. I still look a little stumpy, that’s just my build, but I prefer to focus my attention on what my body can do, rather than on how it meets any sort of long-legged ideal.
It bothers me more from a functional level. My legs go numb on long plane rides because they don’t reach the floor. Standard kitchen counters are too high for me to chop veggies without developing shoulder pain. And I bought my car solely because it was the most ergonomic model availible in my price range at the time. Even though I was never large enough to have accessability issues from a fat standpoint, I sympathize with the frustration because I’ve always faced those issues from a short standpoint.
Also, I want to add that as a short woman I actually HATE protective guys. I project a much larger-than-life personality because I really don’t like being percieved as a delicate flower in need of help. This also translates to my professional life, where I like to be percieved as in-charge rather than a peacemaker.
Ok… maybe I have more of a napoleon complex than I though I did… :-P
I’m 5′2″ and really, my height has never bothered me at all. Maybe in part because with girls and women, you don’t get made fun of much for being short – boys and men seem to get made fun of much more for being short – I well remember the “shrimp” nickname one boy in grammar school lived with every day, even when it was meant in a good-natured way. In fact, I saw a lot of tall girls take a lot of mocking for being so tall, and I know a lot of them felt very self-conscious and gawky, and would stoop, fretted over whether to wear high heels because that would make them taller than their dates, etc. Boys would seldom date a girl taller than them, at the time. Don’t know if that’s changed or not. But in that atmosphere, I never wished myself taller, and still don’t. Except when I’m trying to reach something on a high shelf.
What really irks me is that 3X clothes are not made to fit someone of my height – three-quarter sleeves are long sleeves on me, and capris are long pants. I guess no one of my height is supposed to allow themselves to get this fat or they don’t get clothes. Something like that.
Well, I’m short (5′1) and fat, but I don’t consider myself as being particularly insecure about my height. Sure, this means that I don’t use the top shelves of my cabinets, but otherwise it’s no biggie. It also means that most guys are taller than me…
Only thing: forget about me wearing capri… They usually make me look like a female Steve Urkel. LOL I don’t really have too much problems finding clothes that fit me (thank god for petite-length pants though!).
This reminded me of a joke I heard once, in response to someone calling your fat, you reply, “I am not fat, I am just short.” I never really found it funny. I am short, 5′2″ and curvy, I used to wish I would grow taller, so that I would thin out, but this will never be my fate and I am getting better with it. The only thing I despise about being short is when tall people lean on me, like put their elbows on my shoulders, argh! pisses me off. But that’s my only complaint really.
I am 5′4.5″ (that .5 is important) and fat (Potato shaped. Not pear. Potato) I only wish I was taller because then it might portion out my weight into something of a less odd shape. Not to get rid of it, but to be a shape that is technically listed as a body shape and not a produce. Actually once I wished I was shorter because I was hanging out with a friend (guy) who was only 5′ and I felt awkward being taller than him.
I would concur with the OP – I’m 5′9″, and I always wanted to be shorter. Largely because it seems like all the 6′ plus guys wanted the 5′2″ minus chicks. (My own parents are a classic example.) But then, from growing up with a short mom (I was taller than she was by 4th grade) and an equally short gramma, I saw the other side of this….that it’s harder to get taken seriously. I’ve had friends and co-workers who were of varying heights over the years, and I have noticed that male superiors are a lot less likely to treat you like you’re stupid if you can look them in the eye – or look down on them.
As for dating, most of the guys I’ve been with were fairly close to me, height wise. Some were insecure about it, others not. The current one is 6′3″ and likes tall chicks, so, score. My brother usually picks tall ones, too (he’s probably 6′ even), although his current is apparently shorter.
I’m 6′1.5″ and let me tell you – it’s no bed of roses at EITHER extreme of the height scale.
And if you are VERY tall (like) and fat, boy howdy, it can be bad. Lots of jokes from insecure guys about how I can beat the crap out of them (umm, I’ve never hit anyone – why would I do that?). I’ve been told time and time again how “intimidating” I am, although I am a total pacifist and like to consider my self pretty sensitive to folks around me.
I can’t find clothes that fit, and shopping in plus sizes makes it worse. Lately, I’ve gotten smaller and can shop in “standard” size stores, but nothing is long enough.
Mostly I get frustrated because I want to feel feminine and pretty, and that’s hard when you are towering over most of the men in the room. My ex was 6′5″ and that was great!
But how sad that I need to be standing next to a fellow giant to feel somehow like a normal girl.
I am 5′5″ and have never had an issue with my height. I wasn’t “short” and I never felt like I wanted to be taller until recently.
This is going to probably fall under the TOO MUCH INFO category, but the ONLY reason I wish I was a wee bit taller is b/c my new 6′0″ BF and I tried some Kama Sutra position that we thought looked kinky, but my hips were just a bit too low.
LOLOL.
I guess that can be remedied by moving the action from the bedroom to the staircase!!!
Reading the comments, I’m struck with how both tall and short women are reminded constantly that they are “not the norm” regardless of whether they are fat or thin.
For my own part, I’m 5′2. Short.
And my frustration in a short, fat body is how the world seems to be built for tall(er) and thin(er) people. The work benches in my kitchen are slightly too high for me to work at comfortably (i.e. without my back hurting) unless I stand on tippy-toes – because it has been designed for tall(er) people. – and reaching things in kitchen cupboards is a nightmare In the car, the car seat headrest pushes my head forward uncomfortably rather than supporting my head and neck (taller people again) and the seatbelt strap saws into my neck unless I pull it down because it is positioned for people whose neck is higher than mine (and who don’t have tits). Cinema seats are both too narrow (unless they have armrests that can be raised) and have the headrest issue as well. And that’s just a few.
Damn you, people who design things, the default person is not a 6′2 ‘average build’ man.
Wow! I thought I was the only one who had height insecurities! I am 5′7″. its the worst…not tall, but not short either. I would love just another 2 inches or so, then I would at least fit into the tall girl category. I am so disappointed because ever since I was about 6 years old my dream was to be 6′ tall and be a runway model. Lame, I know, but I still sometimes long for that! :)
I’m 5′5 and a half (and, yes, halves are important) and most of the time I feel short. I was expecting to grow to be taller (see previous entry) and my husband’s 6′2 – and slender, so he looks even taller.
It’s partly because I have very short legs for my height. Elegant, I’m not. Years ago, a tall workmate called me a hobbit. I think he meant it fondly. But I haven’t forgotten!
I’m intrigued by all these people who think they’d feel more feminine if they were shorter, because I’ve never had the least desire to be “cute”. I like to feel that I’m physically strong and capable, and it really annoys me when I have to get a taller person to reach something for me for that reason. (And it’s a reason why I’d be unhappy wearing high heels day in, day out as some short girls do. I respect their tenacity, but don’t their feet hurt?) I want to be competent, not tiny and helpless and vulnerable, even if that’s “cute”.
I know it’s silly to feel short, because I’m not really small, just average. And sometimes I don’t; at work, they think I’m tall because almost everyone in my department is shorter.
I used to be height angry. I’m just about 5′3 or so but, people always think I’m taller which kind of cracks me up.
However in my time of height envy I’ve wanted to be either shorter or way taller. Anymore though I don’t think about it at all unless someone comments on my posture. Which is fantastic.
Lexxy, I’ve never had someone lean on me–just as well, because I’d say it’s amazingly obnoxious.
Have you considered moving out from under? And I mean moving fast enough to make them lose their balance somewhat. I think it could be a learning experience.
I am 5′10.25″. And I’ve never wanted to be shorter, I’ve always wanted to be taller. Go figure.
I am 5′7″, and have weighed in the ballpark of 125-135 pounds for most of my adult life. I always wanted to be something that stood out instead of so average…either really tall or really petite. But at least I can buy pants off the rack, right?
I’m 5′6”. Pretty average, I guess? I never expected to be this tall, even though it’s not exceptionally tall. My dad is in the ballpark of 5′10” but I really take after my mom, who is 5′2″. Most of her side of the family is, too… I am eye to eye or only slightly shorter than most of the men on her side. I was always the shortest kid in my class in grade school and middle school, and then I shot up four inches in the tenth grade. They’re not kidding about growing pains, either… growing so fast in such a short period of time physically hurts!
I’m 5′ 8″, which is pretty much the world average. The world is designed for someone my size, most of the time. That part is good! Sometimes I feel like a bull in a china shop – like when I stand anywhere near a large group of tiny women.
OTOH, I’ve always been certain that men prefer a short woman, and taller men prefer shorter women. Don’t know why that is. Also one does have to be cautious about seeming intimidating to someone who’s a lot shorter, especially when I’m in heels.
I was talking to BFDiva Kendra today (shoutout!) and I realized that maybe the reason I really haven’t thought about my height very much is that my best friend from the age of 15 was over six feet tall so even though I guess technically I am “tall,” next to her I never really felt particularly tall. I felt like she was taller and I was heavier and we kind of balanced each other out. A surprising number of men were attracted to both of us. I don’t know. It was an interesting thing to think about, though.
I’m 5′1″ and 120 pounds and I struggle to create a space around myself where I am not seen as “small,” by which I mean feeling ignored and not taken seriously. I feel strange inhabiting a world where the specifications of furniture, cars, clothing, etc, make me and my body feel uncomfortable and awkward in its environment. As a person who’s gender presentation varies from day to day or week to week, I think about how my short stature intersects with my gender presentation. How do people react to me as a short thinnishmuscular femmey woman? drag queen? boi? man? I also get a lot of people thinking I’m quite young, however I’m presenting that day. I am 22 and am often mistaken for being 15 or 17, which affects my interactions with people I don’t know in mostly odd and annoying ways. Being a short woman I feel I have been told to “be careful” in public spaces a lot, and made to feel powerless and weak. And thinking about being able to be picked up, with that comes the fact that people pick you up when you don’t want them to. Would you like to be picked up and flung into a pool? Thrown over someone’s shoulder and carried around? When you’re not in the mood and can’t stop it? Nope. Nope.
I’m 6′0 and it took a plane trip halfway across the world before I started feeling okay about my height. It was on a flight from London to Uganda while waiting in line for the restroom that I realized that my extreme discomfort in my airline seat wasn’t from being fat (I fit in my seat okay) but because my legs were so long. I realized that my hipbones are where a lot of other people’s mid-ribcage is or, in some cases, breast height (if the women are pretty short). I never knew I had such long legs.
When I was younger my height never bothered me. I guess I figured everyone would catch up when they were finished growing. Well, they didn’t. And dating while fat and tall was next to impossible. It was especially great to have a connection to someone, flirt all night, and then have all their interest shut down the moment I stood up to hug them goodbye. A lot of guys seem to think that dating a tall woman is somehow emasculating.
i actually haven’t been worried much about my height until just recently. when i was younger i always wanted to be shorter b/c i was always the tall one. then i got to 6th grade and stopped growing. i’m now 5′ 3″. i was always glad that i was short b/c being “bigger” [currently a size 18], i thought that at least i was short.
THEN i started watching america’s next top model. i know, i know, bad idea. it didn’t do anything bad for my self image at first, but then i started taking more and more picures of myself and posing in front of the mirror. THEN i started working on my runway walk. [hilarious, i know]. then i saw like an overview of a season where this girl was 5′ 7″ and they talked to her about it EVERY pannel. they were like ‘when you’re ONLY 5/7 you have to THINK tall.’ and i’m going: ??????!!!!!!?????
once again, i’m 5/3. [and a half.]
so yeah. that’s the only thing that gets me now… i could never be a model. like seriously, if i was 5 inches taller, i’d slim down to a 10 or 12, and persue a modeling career.
…guess THAT’S not going to happen…
so insecure? not really. annoyed/dismayed? slightly.
I think that a few of the commenters have hit on the most central issue in how we feel about our heights, which is how it compared to other people when we were growing up. I’m 5′8″, with broad shoulders and a curvy/athletic build (I wear a UK 14, which is a US 10 – 12, depending on who you ask) and while now, at the age of 29, I carry my height well and can see that I am on the taller side of average, but still within the average range…back when I was 12 years old, 5′8 and with 36C boobs (now DD), and most of my friends were petite, it was a very different story. It didn’t help matters that I’d been a keen gymnast from the age of six, when I’d been short and powerful; when I suddenly grew half a foot in six months aged 11-12, my body suddenly couldn’t do what it used to be able to, and I started to hate my height. I remember feeling gigantic and clumsy, and I don’t think it’s coincidence that the two girls I became best friends with when I was 13 were both the same height as me; they made me feel more normal. (Funnily enough, one of the two of them was much, much skinnier than I ever was – UK size 6 – but despite all my weight anxiety I was way, way more conscious of her height than her weight.)
I think it’s easy for parents – particularly mothers – to pass on their size anxiety to their daughters. My mum is a bit taller than me; she was also terribly skinny growing up (around 100lb at 5′9 until she was 21) and was teased enormously about both her height and her weight, and I think I picked up from her that it would be better to be smaller (like me, her height hampered her ambitions – until she was in her teens she was a very talented ballerina, but then grew too tall). I remember always thinking I’d love to be 5′2 or so.
But of course it’s all relative…I remember bitching about my height online to a friend whom I hadn’t at that time met in person; I hadn’t known that she is 6′5 (!!!) and she told me in no uncertain terms that I had no idea what I was talking about! On the other side of things, I have another friend who is 4′10 and her boyfriend is 6′5; they have all sorts of problems (no, not THOSE sorts of problems…) like not being able to hear one another when they’re out somewhere noisy, because his voice goes over her head and she’s speaking to his stomach! And if they fly together, he always requests an exit row seat because of his height, and she always gets filthy looks when she’s sat next to him…heh.
I’m 5′ 3″ and round and, although it presents a few practical difficulties, (like sleeves on most plus-size garments being miles too long and not being able to see over the top of people’s heads in crowds), I actually don’t give a stuff about being short. I never really have.
The last time my height was measured at the doctor’s office, I was 6′1″. I told the nurse to add an extra inch because I’ve been saying that I’m 6′2″ since I graduated high school. For a long time I really hated being this tall. I especially hated it in high school (as if high school isn’t traumatizing enough.) I was always known as “the really tall blond girl.” I didn’t have a name. When I graduated high school almost 20 years ago, I only weighed 130 pounds. I was freakishly thin. I’ve gained 70 pounds since then and now I embrace my height. It’s me. Sure, it’s a pain in the ass to find clothes and my knees don’t fit under desks and airplane seats are uncomfortable as hell but *shrug* the world is made for “average” people. I enjoy being above average. I call myself an Amazon. My 6′5″ husband and I are expecting a daughter in May. She’ll be amazonian, just like me, and I hope I can help her be as proud of it as I am now.
Taking a break from all the posts that begin with “I” to say that when asked if there was anything about her body Madonna (what, about 5′1″?) would change, she answered, her height. Women can starve, binge, exercise, etc. but the one thing we CANNOT change (short of radically invasive bone-lengthening surgery) is bone structure. It’s interesting to compare the issues that result from body attributes you can control (weight, not 100% but comparatively) vs. that which you cannot (height).
I’m just under 5′1″ and I’ve never been bothered by my height EXCEPT when dealing with all the material things made for “average” people. The upper cupboards in my kitchen remain empty (winter clothing storage would be an option), sitting in most chairs my feet can’t touch the floor, clothing lengths (I won’t even go there), I need a little device to keep the seatbelt in my car from strangling me. It is all those little things that keep reminding me my height is not a normal one. Annoyed by all the inconveniences, yes. But I’M perfectly fine being the height I am. Ironically, I really sympathize with very tall folks (6′0″ and over in my eyes) as I think they face the same issues I do, but with the opposite twist.
Who’d have thought height would be such a sticking point for so many???? Just look at the number of comments!
Yay, shoutout! I’m with Emily – I’m 5′11″, which I hated when I was younger (so much taller than everyone, altho surprisingly I didn’t get teased much for it). By high school I didn’t mind, by college I loved it. I love being able to tower over people, I love that if short men harass me in bars I can stand up and intimidate them. And I have to admit I think it mitigates my size – I tend to dress very vertically/height-enhancing, and wear big shoes, so I’m even taller.
Altho two of my best friends are 4′11″ and 5′2″, and I do feel like bit of a Yeti around them.
I am comfortable with my height most of the time. The one time that I really wished I was taller was when I looked at the requirements for becoming a model for Cherished Woman. At least a size 14, check. Over 5′7, no check. Damn you, Cherished Woman!
I’m 5′1″. And I have to second, third, fourth all the complaints about being picked up. When you’re short, men seem to think that they have an inherent right to physically grab you, hoist you up and carry you around like a sack of potatoes, perhaps toss you into the nearest body of water, whatever. Doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be picked up. Doesn’t matter if you don’t even want to be touched. Doesn’t matter if you just met the guy or never met the guy. Doesn’t matter if you never even saw his face because he thought it would be funny to sneak up on you. Doesn’t matter if you’re screaming “NO!” and trying to kick him in the nuts or scratch his eyes out to get away (that’s just “cute,” don’t you know). He thinks that he’s perfectly within his rights to heft you around. He thinks he’s being charming, even. And that is total bullshit.
And of course, living in a world where my feet dangle off of every car, airplane, bus seat, not to mention office chairs and restaurant seats–even the *toilet*, is no picnic. Having to get a stepladder to reach just the second shelf in my kitchen cabinet sucks.
The fact that I’m forever having to do ridiculous portion/calorie counting because, as a short person, my weight maintenance calories are what would be considered a seriously reduced calorie diet for women of normal size–well, that sucks, too.
I’m 5′2″ with size DDDD breasts. I know, if I were taller, they would look so much better, so yeah, height is a big thing for me too. I always feel frumpy around tall thin girls
I’m 6′2″/3″ and though I am thin I am wide and even then I never used to be. I won’t ever find pants that fit me all the way because there is some sort of rule that you have to be as thick as you are wide and that isn’t the case for me. Not to mention having to shell out 100 for a pair of jeans because they reach the floor.
I’m not half as frustrated as I was when I was heavy, but sometimes you just don’t get used to the staring. I wish I could wear a pair of heels!
I think I’d be good with a shorter lover because I feel really insecure when I’m around people who are taller. I feel like a doll and it makes me hunch haha.
I’m23 years old, 5′1″ and 158 pounds currently.
I also have a baby face with full cheeks. So while I have boobs and hips, I tend to look half my age. In some ways it’s a blessing– I suppose I’ll age fairly well. (My mother has, and my father.) But it’s a pain in the ass not being able to reach for tall shelves or getting picked last on teams in high school because it was assumed that short and plump meant “not effective in any manner”. As I got older, it became a bit of a stumbling block in that guys think I’m underaged. I get a lot of “cute”, which sure, I can swing it. It just doesn’t go beyond that.
I don’t mind being this short, though. :] It’s me, and why bother hating it when I can like it? Besides, I was a sneak attack at dodgeball and I get free crayons at restaurants.
im 6′ and over 200 pounds, im kinda glad im not short or else id be REALLY fat, for some reason this weight looks fine on me. just lucky i guess. although having size 12 feet does suck most of the time.
I have another insecurity about my height that I didn’t mention in my original comment. Whenever I am around a tall (say 5′9 or taller) woman, I’m always very paranoid that they are judging me for being short and stumpy. This sounds awful and I know it’s not true, but I feel like they must all be feeling like they are superior over me because they’re tall/long-legged. I know…it’s totally insane, but I can’t seem to help it.
Ironically, I actually have quite long limbs for my height (‘32 inseam at 5′3 and I never have to buy petite-length pants or skirts) and have pretty much the opposite of a stumpy build. But still, I have a complex about this.
Okay, now that I have revealed my ridiculous insecurity to everybody, does anyone else get this feeling? I’m not sure I explained that very well (despite the novel-length comment) but hopefully I got my point across.
Like some of the other ladies here, I am 5′ 3/4″, 150 lbs. I come from a family of mostly tall, all slender people. That never really bothered me, except when I couldn’t reach the things in the high cabinets, or the counters in the kitchen are too high for me to work on comfortably. My biggest problem is chairs. I can never get a chair that I can sit in comfortable and still have my feet touch the ground. In restaurant booths, I sit sideways because it is so uncomfortable for me to sit with my legs sticking straight out.
I’m 5′7, 195 lbs and built like a linebacker. I have an hourglass shape with broad shoulders and hips. I’ve always wished I could be shorter. I avoid wearing heels because they make me too tall. I’m tired of wearing flats!!!! I would love to wear 3 or 4 inch heels, but I’m too insecure about my height to do so. I’ve never embraced my height. I think 5′1 would be ideal. *sigh*
I know i’m a little late in the game commenting on this, but i felt like saying something, so i am. i’m 5′2″, and between 165 and 170 lbs depending on the day, week, etc…
I love being short, i feel like it allows me to hide when i want to. Not that i spend my life lurking in corners watching everyone’s movements, but it means that i can enter or exit a room without people noticing. However, I find that because i’m so short, i feel like people notice my weight more strongly than perhaps an “average” height person. I think it’s tough for both tall and short people who are overweight because there are stereotypes for most extremes. I think many short round people feel like bowling balls while tall round people feel like sasquatches.
Besides, there are about 3 people in the US that can find jeans that fit in any way whatsoever.
Additionally, i would like to note how interesting it is that it appeals to so many women to be smaller than their partner. I think there are many people who feel the opposite. But, i also enjoy feeling smaller. I enjoy the feeling that someone can physically take care of me, and that is made much easier by being short. I feel like being “bigger than me” is all about proportions. If someone is much taller than me they can be skinnier, or shorter and fatter, and proportionally we will work well together and i will feel protected and good.
I don’t want to feel like the large clunky girl with the skinny waif-y boy. I know that’s not altogether fat-accepty, but i do love my body shape, i just don’t like feeling like i overwhelm my partner physically.
i hope that rant held some relevance.
I’m just shy of 5′2″ and while I have tiny bird bones (I wear kid-sized shoes and gloves, and most rings and bracelets are too big for me), I do have hips and tits. I love it when I work out regularly or stay above 107 lbs, because I feel like the extra bulk gives me more presence. On the other hand, I get self-conscious if I weigh over 115, though that’s only a numbers thing.
A friend of mine says that in his head, I’m 5′6″ or taller, because I come across as strong. I’m not sure where he’s getting this idea of me as outgoing and tough, but I’ll take it.
It is fascinating to read all these stories coming from so many points of view.
At just under 4′9″ I have always been very self conscious about my height and envied taller girls. It’s not like I’m just petite. I’m extra petite. I find it interesting that taller girls wish to be short and “cute.” When I was younger I used to love the fact that I would get attention for being so petite. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been picked up by friends, family, and random people I hardly know. Now that I am 19, I find that because I’m so small it is more difficult to get attention or be taken seriously and I don’t have an extremely outgoing personality to make up for it. People mistake me for being younger than I am all the time. When I was a JUNIOR in high school a FRESHMAN thought I was in 4th grade. That was a pretty extreme case tho.
My biggest challenge is feeling like there is very little consideration given to people under 5ft. I mean, even women that are just above 5ft feel challenged. My feet dangle when I sit on buses, in classrooms, or at restaurants. It is very difficult for me to find clothing, even in petite sections. I usually end up shopping in kids departments which is embarrasing but often saves me money. Half of the dresses I own are technically shirts. When I was learning to drive I had to pad the drivers seat with pillows and attach a chunk of wood to the gas pedal in order to reach it. Now I drive a VW jetta because it is basically the only car I can drive without all that extra stuff.
I don’t mean to complain so much, but sometimes it helps to vent. I think it’s important for people to be aware of the challenges a lot of shorter people face. I have come to embrace my height more, though, especially since entering college. My peers are more mature and although my height still provokes a lot of questions, it’s not such a big deal.
5′7″ and 290.
I grew up in a family in which I was the second shortest (most of the women are around six foot, the men an inch or three more) and went to school with an ethnically non-diverse population. We had a LOT of broad, tall German/Scandinavian 3rd and 4th gen immigrants around here. And then all of a sudden the ethnic balance of the region shifted. And I went from being “on the tall end of normal” to “tall”. To further make the mindfuck fun, I had some major foot surgery during this time, and so spent most of it seated. The first time I went to the grocery store by myself again, I was the tallest person in there, and only one person was anywhere near me in height. It was rather unsettling, and I think bits of me are still getting used to being Tall and Big.
I like being able to reach things, though countertops aren’t quite right for my personal proportion of leg to torso height. I also have problems with chairs and pants, since my height is mostly in my legs. My husband’s a titch taller than me at 5′8″, but much heavier, so pretty much depending on what shoes I have on we’re a similar height and build.
Our sons appear to be inheriting my side’s genes for height, and will either be tall solid square men or tall willowy men. We’ve got both, so we’ll see. But both should wind up around six foot.
I’m 5′7″ and so I go both ways. Sometimes I would love to be taller and elegant etc (plus when I was younger I used to feel that if I was just a bit taller my fat would spread out and I’d end up thinner
On the otherhand, I’m quite clumsy and have wide shoulders, and I often have this too big, too broad, taking up too much space kind of thing. Especially since I live with two tiny chinese girls and occasionally knock the smaller of the two over when I’m excited to see her and go to hug her. Also, I used to be obsessed with ballet and was told that it would never happen for me because I was too fat and too tall.
sorry to post twice, only half my comment went up for some reason
I’m 5′8″ and 140 lbs. I’m very insecure about both my height and weight. I’m the tallest in my class and constantly feel like a giant next to my classmates. Everyone is so tiny, I just feel large and awkward. It would be different if i was some tall, slim cutie. But its not. I’m average looking and clunky. :(
i dont like to admit my insecurities; i like to think myself secure if anything. But that’s a front. Inside I not happy w/ my appearacnce.
I’m just shy of 5′7″. I grew tall quite early, and as a child was consistently around the 95th percentile for my age, but I was also quite thin. My height didn’t really bother me until I started fussing about my weight (at 14) and comparing myself to girls and women who were shorter as well as thinner. I didn’t just feel too heavy, I felt altogether too large, too much. It was a difficult age because some of us were fully developed, at adult heights and weights, and some were physically still children, which made comparison incredibly uncomfortable.
I am 5′8″ and thin, but I do feel uncomfy about my height. I am taller than all my friends and I feel odd wearing heels to work because I tower above everyone except one guy in my department. I wish I was somewhere in the 5′4-5′6 range.
I’m 5ft 2 1/2 and sort of medium build for my height (sz 8), kind of hourglassy with big swimmer’s shoulders. My perspective is kind of wierd because I was really tall as a kid and then when puberty hit I stopped growing upwards and started growing outwards. I was 5ft tall at age 9. It was really freaking wierd to see people I’d always been taller than start towering over me.
Actually I’ve always wondered how much of my bolshy personality is based on the fact that, internally, I don’t see myself as a small person. I’m like a yorkie that thinks it’s a rotweiller – assertive, oddly unafraid of confrontations with men, not easily physically intimidated. I’ve often wondered if the reason I’m not particularly scared of men in general is that, up until about 12 or 13, I could kick the asses of most boys I knew. I’d be curious about the perspective of tall women, how that affects the way they relate to men.
I do live in heels most o the time because I get tired of random people doing the “aw you’re just adorable!” thing. Also my long term ex was 6ft5 and without heels walking down the street with him was kind of ridiculous. I always sort of wistfully wanted to be a classic ectomorph, but I don’t think it was the height as such I wanted, more the overall willowy look.
Oh, and I don’t have a lot of the feet not reaching the ground etc problems a lot of people my height seem to because my proportions are sort of wierd – long legs, short torso. So I can wear normal length pants without alteration if I have heels on (actual inseam without heels is 30 inches), and my arms are pretty long, no need to alter jackets. Which ironically enough means that, at under 5ft3, nothing in the petites dept fits me. Yay standardised clothing sizes which seem to come in one size fits nobody.
i’m 6 foot and get picked on occasionally “stringy” “BFG” or “girrafe”
always known as the tall one. and it’s like people think youre deaf too cause all i hear is “the size of her!” one time i was out with my friend and a group of guys were behind me and started going “lads look at the size of this one” and started laughing and talk about embarrassing! im soo insecure, and intimidate loads of people, even to the extend in which people avoid me or ignore me, or just watch me like im not human. and when they comment on my tallness i blush like mad cause theyre just higlighting how little i fit in and remind me of how much of an outcast i am.
so i get stared at ALL the time, im extremely skinny so i cant wear dresses cause my knees too knobbly.
i will never get a guy cause no guy had ever asked me out, and im too insecure to date smaller guys.
and is it weird i have abnormaly small feet for my height… a size 7 ??
i dont have the best facial structure so its not like i can be a model either…
soo its kinda depressing at the minute…
i understand you petite girls too cause my best friend is 5 foot (we look odd together) but she hates it and she gets picked on often aswell…. x
When I was younger I used to HATE my height. But now I don’t mind my height. In fact, during Halloween I’m glad I’m short, because I can go trick-or-treating without getting strange looks.
My weight doesn’t bother me as much now most of the time, but I do get annoyed when someone points out how short I am.
*Although, I do still wish I was about 3 to 5 inches taller, because I’d have the figure I’m supposed to have (short and stocky is NOT cute).
I’m around 5′7″- 5′8″. I’m actually not real sure on how tall I am. I try and avoid being measured My whole life even as a child I’ve noticed I was taller than the kids around me. I ‘m also pretty skinny around 135 in weight. I’m actually insecure about both my height and my weight.. I’m currently trying to gain more weight. I use to not be able to stand short girls who would complain about being shorter..or even comment that they love being short. I found it annoying and made me feel more insecure growing up. I would love to just be normal height 5′4″- 5′5″, but it’s not like i can do anything about it. I recently discovered my biological father. He is around 6′4″-6′4″ and my mom clams to be 5′7″ so I really can’t do anything about it. I’m almost 22, but I have fears sometimes that I will get even taller because my father is so tall. My grandmother was also around 6′. My step dad use to always saw I was growing like a weed. I hated when he’d say I might be taller than him when I grow up..it use to make me feel manly and awkward like I was doing something wrong. I use to eat less healthy food and not sleep as much to stunt my growth.
Honestly I just need to get over it and have more confidence it’s just hard to not look around and wish I fit in visually with the average girl even my boyfriend is almost the same height as me. I’ve never dated someone more than 1-2″ taller than myself…
Whoa, this whole discussion was really eye-opening for me. I had no idea so many people felt insecure about their height.
I’m only 5′1″, and wear a size 10 petite. The only time my height worries me is when I need something from a high shelf, or when I go shopping. It’s so darn hard to find clothes! (Although it actually, seems to have gotten easier in the last few years. Maybe that’s just me?)
Physical inconveniences aside, I’ve never had a problem with being short, or received negative comments about my size.
I do think it would be a good thing if we could expand our standard of beauty a bit, vis-a-vis height. It would be nice if short, beautiful actors, models, and dancers could easily find work…
I’m 5′5 and I wouldn’t say I’m insecure about my height. Sure sometimes I wish I were taller but who doesn’t? The only times I really have problems are getting pants, (don’t get me started on capris) reaching things on high shelves and when my little brother (who is 6 foot something) uses my head as an arm rest…..grrrr lol