Treats At The Office
We had an office party today involving cake. And as I stood around with my co-workers making awkward conversation and enjoying my slice of cake, I overheard comments that felt very familiar.
“This cake is sugar free and fat free, right? Ha, ha!”
“Hey [Guy Doing South Beach], is this South Beach cake?”
“Oh, can I just have a TINY SLIVER?”
God, way to destroy the experience of eating a piece of cake with soul-sucking “jokes” about how many calories it has. And of course, I spent the whole time eavesdropping on all my fellow cake-eaters so I quite frankly didn’t enjoy my slice of cake as much as I probably should have. I should have been present in the cake-eating moment, or something.
How about you? Does your office ever feature sugary treats, and if so, how do you deal with them? Are you afraid to be seen eating the first piece of cake? Do you keep a candy bowl on your desk? Do you make joking references to spending some extra time on the treadmill? Or do you just eat the damn cake?
Posted by mo pie
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My favorite comment is “Oh, birthday cake doesn’t have any calories on your birthday!”
My department at work is a small, close-knit group. I’m the one that usually makes cakes for baby showers or birthday milestones, so I hear these comments often as I’m cutting and passing out pieces of cake. Since I’m the official cake-passer-outer, I usually tell people to just shut up already and enjoy the fruits of my labor. It usually works, especially since I’m the one holding the knife.
I just eat the cake and at Christmas when we all go out for our annual get drunk and eat too much crap day, I just dive right in. I’m the only female in the office and I can’t act too girly and fret over calories or I will never live it down. I know I’m fat, they know I’m fat but frankly I don’t think any of these guys are judging me and if they are, well that’s their issue.
This sort of thing doesn’t bother me. Just make a lame-o comment too, like “of course there are no calories in birthday cake”, and enjoy your slice.
Luckily I work in a lab, so its easy to avoid food if you really want to (since the treats are not actually *in* the lab with us), but I don’t feel bad been seen eating treats or think anything about whether others are eating them or not.
Pretty much all stupid small talk made at work makes me want to vomit, so stupid cake comments are no different. ;)
My favorite comment, though it is about cookies, not cake, comes from my mother jokingly reassuring me that it was okay to eat cookies at christmas, when I was a kid.
“Break it in half first and all the calories fall out.”
Personally, I take the piece with the most frosting. And I’m with Wendy, I take it as the cliched small talk that automatically spills out of people when forced to interact.
Maybe if you stopped paying attention to what other people are saying and joking about, you would have enjoyed your cake. Some people are ok with eating cake, and some people aren’t, as is their right. Why don’t you follow your own advice: “…just eat the damn cake” Or say back “Screw the treadmill, I’m having me a big ol’ slice!” Being annoyed about this makes you seem really insecure about yourself, which is contrary to FA, right?
Yessss, cake wrecks. I love that blog, it’s one of my favorites. Sorry, nothing meaningful to contribute. xD
Nothing more awkward in this world. Office dynamics are bizarre enough without forced socialization. People’s awkward insecurities coming into the fore is just unbearable.
The odds of actually getting a peice of cake in my office if you aren’t there 15 minutes before the cake arrives are extremely slim. It is not uncommon for people go to back for thirds before half of the office has had firsts. (And by people, I mean men, there are only about 30 women in the office of 120)
Simple enough for dieters, don’t want to eat cake, don’t show up early.
I personally use my elbows to make sure that I get a piece.
Our office has a good amount of people, and it seems that we are always having cake for some reason or another. While almost everybody wants a “tiny piece” or passes altogether, my boss (who is usually slicing) knows that I want a full-size piece and makes sure to get me one. :-)
But, the food paranoia in my office isn’t just about cake, but about all communal food. People will slice breakfast pastries in half, and then sometimes slice them in half again. One of my coworkers and I were discussing my new love for biking to work, but once she saw that I was also eating apple pie for breakfast that day her response was, “Well that negated your exercise this morning!” My boss once went on a no sugar diet and made sure to tell everybody about how religiously she was sticking to it. These are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head.
I’ve learned to shut my mouth and eat what I want, though every once in a while I do want to snark at the sugarless boss, “Wow, that’s great! I’m sure making an entire food ingredient off limits is doing great things for your teenage daughter’s relationship with food!”
Mo, you know my opinions on this from the TUS thread (where my thoughts were pretty much in the minority, I’ll admit). I hate the way food has to be involved in everything, along with the judgments about who does/does not eat. My office has stopped doing food treats, though, so it’s not an issue.
i just eat my damn piece of cake and walk away
Thank God for an office full of foodies! There are a dozen of us, varying in size from a 5’7″ gal who wears a size 2 to a fellow of 6’8″ and shading 400 lbs. And guess what? We ALL dig in when there are treats! Our official cake-buyer always finds the gooiest, most butter-cream laden birthday cakes in town, and I’ve yet to hear anyone ask for “just a sliver” or comment on the cake’s contents except to say “Wow! Hope I get one like this on MY birthday!”
(My own Big Day is next month, and I sure hope to be the recipient of one of those fabulous chocolate cakes…)
The irony in my office is that I’m overweight and eat healthy for the most part, and the women who work with me are underweight and only eat ramen noodles, microwave dinners, crackers, cookies, chocolates, little cakes, etc. If I snack on vegetables, sometimes I hear a chorus of “Eww, yuck” from the peanut gallery. And, my boss, a man, is always talking about his diet. But, when I do have cake, or something sweet or fattening, I enjoy with gusto. I guess having coworkers who horde junk food in their desks and munch all day long has its advantages in office culture.
I’ve noticed that topics like dieting programs, calorie counting, and weight loss are often just easy, superficial topics of conversation for people who don’t know each other very well, or, who don’t really know how or want to connect with people on a deeper personal level. Though, I think as a fat person, people don’t make those types of comments around me as much — I see how fervently people eat those topics up whenever someone mentions them (pardon the pun). I think it’s just a culturally encouraged way people can relate to each other, and feel like they have some things in common.
Honestly, I’m still afraid to be the first one with cake if I’m not with close friends. Office socializing is difficult enough without adding food into the mix.
For me, the only thing that bothers me about working in an 85% female environment is the endless diet talk, and the convulsive mea-culpa-ing that accompanies any occasion of treats at the office.
A co-worker brought in cupcakes for a going-away party recently. These were not “monster-size” snacks in any way– they were little cupcakes from an upscale bakery– and more than one woman in my office was trying to divide them and only take half a cupcake.
The whole point of a cupcake is that it’s an entire teeny cake just for you! Eating half a cupcake defeats the whole purpose! It makes me very sad/ exasperated that nobody can just enjoy even a little snack without going through a performance of beating themselves up about it, or taking less than is offered.
While this may not be completely relevant to eating cake in the office, the cake post reminded me of an internship I had while I was in college. It was the busy season and every Saturday (which is a mandatory workday during the busy season…) there were themed lunches. Well, someone came up with the brilliant idea to stretch the theme throughout the entire busy season and do a Weight-Watchers every Saturday. So, someone from WW would come in every Saturday and weigh the participating men and women in front of everyone else and track their progress. Fortunately, I didn’t have to work Saturdays since I was an intern, but there was lots of talk of points and weight loss and diets throughout the week which drove me insane and made me uncomfortable since I was fatter than most of the women doing WW.
One thing about breakfast pastries – if I take only half a donut, it’s because I had breakfast, am not very hungry, but want to have a taste.
Others will take half of one and half of another for variety. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.
With cake, most of the time I skip the cake because I can tell by looking that it’s dry white cake. Which, ew.
Re: the diet talk, yes, I think a lot of it is akin to discussion the weather. (Yes, I think it says something about our culture that diet talk == small talk, but that’s beside the point.) However I do see how this can be triggering for someone who has a history of eating disorders or being shamed for eating. Often if you change the subject that’ll help (“Is it any good?” is one of my questions – note my comment on dry cake ;) but another is to ask what folks are doing after, or if the coffee is fresh, or if there’s any booze at today’s office party. :)
I travel a LOT for work so I’m almost in a different office each week. I dont run into this situation very often. As far as the rest of my life goes, I just really try to surround myself with people that either A) love food and eating it or B) don’t give a crap about food and dont make neurotic food comments. I have to agree *slightly* with Orlando about ignoring those comments, but for me, If i’m out to eat with you (or at home with takeout eating with you) I am doing it to enjoy your company as well as the food and the best way to get me to want to kick your teeth in is to say something like “oh my god I dont even want to know how many calories were in that”. I dont want to know either, so shut up.
One of my very dearest friends is very fond of saying after we’ve eaten ourselves silly “oh my god, feel this i have a food baby!”
Now there’s some small talk I can totally be on board with.
Diet talk around our office is interminable, and one of the clerks is forever doing the good food/bad food thing.
Tiresome.
I enjoy my food, regardless of what others think.
My office hires a Good Humor truck to stop by every Thursday afternoon in the summer, and there is a “Candy Corner” stocked full of goodies year-round. And there is cake for every occasion. Which was fine till I went on a diet and I realize that all the “perks” don’t apply to those who are trying to be on good behavior.
That said, there’s always the people who say the calories don’t count if you’re having a rough day. Which explains why I put on so much weight during my first few years with the company!
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Um, Kelly? Have some cake with your spam!
If Kelly was my co-worker and started talking like that at the office party I’d have to pelt her with sweetener packets until she shut the hell up.
I just ignore the comments and eat an extra big slice. In fact, I eat cake whenever I feel like it! Life’s too short to count calories.
I work in an office where it’s all food, all the time. Free soda machines, snack cabinets filled with chips, cookies, candy bars, granola, jerky, cereal boxes, instant oatmeal, etc. They do combat it (somewhat) with gym facilities and fresh fruit is delivered in mass quantities on Tuesdays. However, there are always catered lunches and dinners of various cuisines and treats galore.
I am easily the largest woman in the company, but they are awesome about it. I was warned when I hired on about the “CompanyName 20” that everyone puts on. Even the CEO’s assistant make a joke about it at our meeting last week! The fancy corporate dinners and wine drinking has to go somewhere though. I consider it a perk, order fish for my meal, and dig into the creme brulee when it gets passed around.
We have donuts on Friday morning, on a rotating donut-duty basis… and if you want a donut, you go get a donut. Generally with candy or cake it is the same way. It sits outside someone’s office till it’s gone.
… every once in a while I do want to snark at the sugarless boss, “Wow, that’s great! I’m sure making an entire food ingredient off limits is doing great things for your teenage daughter’s relationship with food!”
Has it occurred to you that maybe your boss *is* doing great things for her teenage daughter’s relationship with food by modeling a healthy diet?
And while sugar is an “entire food ingredient” it’s one that none of us actually need.
I second Living400s approach. If it looks like boring old cake, I usually pass or ask if it’s any good. If I don’t get a couple of enthusiastic yesses, then I’m not interested.
If, however, I receive those yesses in abundance? Baby, it’s on, and I dive in for a big slice. No shame in my game. From an sociological perspective, I’ve been every size from a 24 to a 4 over the last 2.5 years (am currently a 4), and have noticed that when I have a big slice o’ cake now, people smile.
That kind of sucks.
Susan – I do believe that our bodies run on glucose, which is essential for even thinking, as Rachel of The F-Word has pointed out:
http://the-f-word.org/blog/index.php/2008/09/05/i-think-therefore-i-crave/
As for weight-related office-chat, my office companions are constantly on and off the merry-go-round of “this food is good,” “this food is bad,” which to listen to on a daily basis is boring in the extreme.
That said, those same co-workers will gut you like a fish to get to the box of Timbits in the morning. Fascinating.
(Me – I’ll grab a couple and hoard them at my desk)
Susan, have you forgotten that there are people in this world who are hypoglycemic and actually need sugar in their bodies, or they will get extremely lightheaded and pass out? One of my aunts has this, and at times my blood sugar will also drop. We have got to stop criminializing food and food products.
If you don’t want office treats, don’t eat them. Keep quiet and let others who actually want to eat enjoy their dessert. Boy, am I glad I work in a small office (3 other people) and we don’t do parties for every occasion. I don’t have to hear endless diet talk, and when someone brings in a sweet, we eat some.
Has it occurred to you that maybe your boss *is* doing great things for her teenage daughter’s relationship with food by modeling a healthy diet?
And while sugar is an “entire food ingredient” it’s one that none of us actually need.
A lot has to do with *how* it’s done. If it’s the source of ongoing obsession & shaming of those who eat sugar, then it will probably be screwy in some way. Whether the kid rebels by eating sugar all the time or becomes an acolyte of the no-sugar crowd depends on a bunch of factors.
If it’s an offhand, who cares? type thing, then it probably won’t be a huge deal. But if it was an offhand thing, why would the boss be talking about it all the time at work? Hm?
Frankly I think it’s healthier to eat a wide variety of foods and not obsess over any of them. But then, the last time I was obsessed with a food, it was shellfish, beef and eggs. Turned out I have a vitamin b12 deficiency. Now that I’m on supplements I’m actually not craving eggs with meat for breakfast every. single. day.
I do believe that our bodies run on glucose, which is essential for even thinking, as Rachel of The F-Word has pointed out
No, our bodies convert food to glucose to use as fuel. That doesn’t mean that we need to eat refined white sugar.
Susan, have you forgotten that there are people in this world who are hypoglycemic and actually need sugar in their bodies, or they will get extremely lightheaded and pass out? One of my aunts has this, and at times my blood sugar will also drop.
No, I haven’t forgotten that. I have blood sugar issues too, which is why I eat a low GI diet and eat every 3-4 hours. A high GI diet (for example, one that is high in refined sugar) will only produce a blood sugar roller-coaster which exacerbates the problem. Unless someone is extremely hypoglycemic, they will get enough sugar by eating a piece of fruit if they feel faint.
I actually started to dread cake time after I was diagnosed with insulin resistance and began to take Metformin. In addition to all of the wonderful things Metformin does for my body, it also makes me fairly sugar-intolerant, and I have to limit my intake of refined sugar. This didn’t usually include a ton of treats during the day – I usually have one coke (cause I love it and I’m not giving it up), and maybe one other refined sugar thing in a day. On cake days (or cookie days, or donut days, or giant muffin days….), I usually refuse.
However, refusal seems to be some sort of an insult. I always get the “oh, just have a little!” or “just a piece won’t wreck your diet!” (I’m not on a diet, the unruly fattie that I am) or “it’s a special occasion!” (not to me!). Even when I say that I don’t eat that stuff because sugar makes me sick (and trust me, they do NOT want to follow me in the can after I’ve had a giant slice of cake), I still get the “just a little” whine.
Now, I don’t want to get down on cake. I love me some cake, and I have to say that out of all of the sugar-y goodness I’ve had to cut down on I miss cake the most. But I resent the attitude that because it’s in the office I need to eat it. You know what else is in the office? My organic Indian lunch*. My flavored with apple juice yogurt. My veggies for lunch. Help yourself. It’s there. Eat it.
*Funny, once I started bringing the “weird” ethinic food for lunch (Amy’s and Ethnic Gourmet FTW), my frozen food stopped disappearing….
Everyone, Susan says we do not need refined sugar in our diets. None of us need the tiniest grain. If we eat it, we are stupid and bad.
We also do not need:
to sleep in
to have a cell phone
to have more than one pair of shoes
to eat anywhere but in a straightbacked chair
to drive (get up early enough to walk)
to use makeup
to scuba dive
well it’s late I got to go to bed.
oh come on marie,you don’t REALLY need to sleep do you? I am shocked, have some self control! I am sure there is some exercise you could be doing :P lol
Everyone, Susan says we do not need refined sugar in our diets.
Maybe, instead of being sarcastic, you should do a little research on the topic.
Friends of my younger sister were raised by parents who were health-food nuts. They had a super-strict diet, which forbade sugar and desserts. Funny, but every time the kids would come over to our house, they’d manage to steal all of the candy they could find (which would sometimes amount to the size of a bag of Hershey’s kisses).
Yeah, those parents had the right idea. *headdesk*
You know, this reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about lately. Where’s the joy in dieting? Not happiness, but joy. Some of the most uptight people I know are dieters; they’re forever counting calories and judging food’s acceptability that they’ve lost their joy.
Just accept the slice of cake, eat some or all of it, and enjoy it and the reason for it. Don’t let the stress of dieting chase away your joy and that of others!
I guess my problem is a little different. I dislike cake immensely – have since I was a child. When I decline cake, people invariably give me the, “Oh, just a little slice?” Well, no, actually, I don’t like it. People have a very hard time wrapping their heads around that for some reason. But I, of course, worry that they are assuming that I am dieting, which is why I tend to tell them upfront that I just don’t like it.
I just take the slice of cake and mosey on back to my desk. 50A% of the time, I’ll eat it, but mostly I bring it home to my hubby.
Ugh, I’m so guilty of this. I used to be like “I’m so going to the gym tonight!” “I’m going clothes shopping tomorrow- great” blah blah blah
now I’m like “hey, it only happens once in awhile!” so I’m a little less annoying now, at least I hope.
I love how you linked to cakewrecks. I saw how there was a link on ‘cake’ and I was like “is it, is it going to link to- YES! IT DOES!”
I’m willing to accept the notion that no one actually *needs* refined sugar.
But it seems to me that, since the advent of refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup, people have been living longer and more healthfully than ever in human history. I’m not saying sugar and HFCS are increasing longevity, but they don’t seem to be killing us off in droves, either.
And what about the Swedish study between Swedes and Chinese who were each given meals unique to their nation, and then given meals that were unfamiliar and highly flavored. When the Swedes and Chinese ate the foods they enjoyed, their bodies absorbed more nutrients.
Our attitudes about food could be part of our metabolic processes. So maybe obsessing about refined sugar, flour and potatoes isn’t doing anyone any real favors. Maybe anxiety around food erodes our physical health.
The great thing is that at my office, while there are plenty of people shunning the cake or asking for the smallest slice, there are also people going back for seconds (or thirds! Yes!) and people asking to lick the icing off the knife.
But it seems to me that, since the advent of refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup, people have been living longer and more healthfully than ever in human history. I’m not saying sugar and HFCS are increasing longevity, but they don’t seem to be killing us off in droves, either.
I would guess that people have been living longer and more healthfully due to advances in medical science, antibiotics, improved understanding of hygiene, etc.
Also, you can chart the rise in obesity and Type 2 diabetes to the more widespread use of refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup.
About the whole no-refined-sugar thing: There’s probably a healthy and unhealthy (emotionally, I mean) way to do it. I stopped eating refined sweeteners when my illness got really bad, but I don’t proselytize or even really talk about it unless someone asks in a way that makes me think that they really want to know. I know that when I have kids, I won’t forbid them any foods, and let them make their own choices. I know that human beings can naturally decide what their bodies need, and I trust in that. I think it could be really terrible if a parent or spouse went sugar-free and then started shaming, obsessively talking about, or forbidding people from it. I also don’t think that it has to be that way. I can make a choice to not have refined sweeteners, and not affect my loved ones negatively with it.
When I still worked in corporate wonderland, the last time we had a cake day, I pulled out a baggie of sunflowers and happily munched on those whilest my colleagues ate their cake.
“Oh!” gasped one woman, forkfull of cake halfway to her mouth, “Are those nuts? They are so full of *fat*!!!”
I think when Marie Antoinette said “let them eat cake,” she was talking about THESE PEOPLE!
Just eat the damn cake and shut up, co-workers!
(LOVE that scene from “The Office!” What a great movie.)
I’m sure it’s not physically unhealthy to give up sugar, but if someone is going on and on about their sugar-free diet in the office, you can be fairly sure that there is a Puritanical moralistic component to it, and regardless of how healthy the dietary change itself might be to pass along to a daughter, this attitude toward food–all wound up with being “good” or “bad” depending on what you eat and prizing health as some kind of moral victory that you can achieve through your own hard work and asceticism–is a terrible thing to pass along in terms of a young girl’s relationship with food. I know I’m generalizing about this boss in particular, but so many people have a similarly screwed-up “sinner/saint” approach to food these days that it wouldn’t surprise me if the boss was the same way.
I guess I’m lucky–in my last job, we had a “birthday cake” once each month, and people typically didn’t engage in mindless dieting small talk. In grad school, one of our professors (whom nobody liked anyway) walked by me and my office-mates eating a piece of cake and said something about calories, however. Paternalistic asshole. It really came off (whether he meant it to or not) like “make sure and watch those waistlines, ladies!”