86 Responses to If You Have A Crush On Alton Brown, Avert Your Eyes

1. cynth, on February 14th, 2008 at 9:12 am Said:

   Thats sad. My son loves the AB and I was looking forward to the day I get cable or some such shit to watch his show. Fuck that plan.
2. KarenElhyam, on February 14th, 2008 at 9:18 am Said:

   I always sorta suspected this. Some of his episodes seem to imply that he sees health as some of moral expectation.

   At any rate, what a moron! How does he think all these fat people GOT to his signing, a magical unicorn escort? They just flittered there on fairy wings, not using a single kilo calorie of energy?

   This just goes to show how fat hatred is never, ever really tied to health. It’s all aesthetics, not actual concern or logic.
3. Kristin, on February 14th, 2008 at 9:22 am Said:

   This is so sad! I, too, love me some Alton. And his shows seem so, I don’t know, NOT focused on the “Eat healthy” mantra…In fact, he often deep fries, uses tons of REAL BUTTER OMG, and points out that these things are just fine. I guess he left out the “only for thin people” part…
4. Des, on February 14th, 2008 at 9:45 am Said:

   NOOOO!!!!!!

   God why did this happen?!!

   I love Alton Brown and it freaking pisses me off that he would say something like that.

   Gah!!
5. Sparkle Pants, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:14 am Said:

   Oh noes!!!!!

   I’d type more but it would require me to move my fingers, which would require me to, you know, move, and since I’m fat…well, you know.
6. G.G., on February 14th, 2008 at 10:18 am Said:

   That is sad, because I liked his enthusiasm about good food and I found his shows pretty informative.

   I guess if this becomes widely know, all those fat people who come to his book signings won’t be coming back, let along buying his books.
7. Cassy, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:30 am Said:

   Hrm. I didn’t know who this person was until I just looked it up on Wikipedia. I don’t watch FN because I hate cooking with a passion. I have to say just from the picture, though, that he looks terrifying and like someone I would not even let in my home let alone kitchen. I guess I would be wrong, though, because he’s a chef. Goes to show you can’t judge a book by it’s cover… even if it’s a very fat cover.
8. Telle, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:30 am Said:

   That seems kind of odd. He specifically did NOT include nutritional information (calorie count, fat grams, etc) in his baking book because he felt people overly focus on such things. I have noticed that he’s put on some weight over the past few seasons.. maybe this is misdirected self-loathing.
9. withoutscene, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:32 am Said:

   Honestly, I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to food shows…but damn, he had to go all Jamie Oliver on us. I want Paula Dean to give them both the smack down!

   He’s in Chicago and New York next month. I suggest fat-ins or fat flash mobs.

   http://www.altonbrown.com/adventure/where.html
10. Sandy, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:34 am Said:

    Eh, I don’t care. In my dreams he can now be a fat loving convert. He is still hot.

    :-)
11. whyme63, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:47 am Said:

    Sometimes I wonder if these situations are kind of like networks running an anti-drug PSA amid a bunch of beer commercials.

    The foodie mitigates the guilt he gets from his deep-fried, butter-laden, sugar-promoting money machine by hastily protesting that “fat is bad” and “he’s against it”. And since he’s “speaking out”, Poof! Guilt vanishes.

    That said, I will no longer be watching him, or buying his books and gadgets. And I will be contacting his program to tell them exactly why.

    I always had a suspicion that he thought that way–the villains on Good Eats are often “heavies”, in more ways than one.
12. KarenElhyam, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:54 am Said:

    Good point, whyme63, I have noticed that.

    (And for those of you unfamiliar with Good Eats, and are asking yourself “Why does a TV cooking show have villains?” the reason is that, along with cooking tips and recipes, AD often has a little plot going to demonstrate facts and figures and what not about cooking. For example, he has a Hannibal Lector figure in one episode tell him exactly what creepy chemicals are in a mass produced protein bar. Good times, or it would be, if I didn’t suspect some latent fattie bashing.)
13. dc, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:54 am Said:

    That’s funny because when I went to a book signing in 2005 and got a picture with him, I totally felt his fairly ample paunch as we stood next to each other. He was quite cuddly, physically.
14. Spins, on February 14th, 2008 at 10:56 am Said:

    I’ve always found AB a bit abrasive and annoying.

    Now, Mario Batali can saute my dishes any day!
15. attrice, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:02 am Said:

    I attended a lecture he gave on starting your own production company about 4 years ago and he was definitely paunchy. I remember noticing b/c it was the one case where I thought someone looked thinner on television.

    He’s probably someone who reserves all his ‘concern’ for those fatter than himself.
16. Lynette, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:10 am Said:

    WOW…that is like the pot calling the kettle black!

    We recently watched the videos we taped of the two series of Feasting on Asphalt and DH and I both noted he’d put on about 30 pounds. Maybe he should take his own advice!
17. lisa-marie, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:20 am Said:

    I guess somebody needs to let him know that many fat people DO eat right and exercise. He’s probably never seen that, so he doesn’t know. He’s assuming, like a lot of folks out there, that fat people just sit around and do nothing.
18. Shinobi, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:29 am Said:

    Oh Alton, I am crushed. Where else will I find that perfect mix of Martha Stewart meets MacGuyver. “Now I find that your pizza comes out better if you use a pizza stone, so now I will make one with a paper clip. It’s a good eats.”
19. OpenBothEyes, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:41 am Said:

    This literally makes me want to cry. I need a hug. I’ve actually been in that audience and gone up on stage and shook his hand and got my picture taken with him and everything. He signed a book for my dad’s birthday. I really don’t know what to say.

    Even though AB doesn’t tend to cook the healthiest food, I owe my love of good food and fresh ingredients to him. I eat better because of the food philosophy he espoused. Take the time to do things from scratch with the best fresh foods you can find and you will be rewarded. It’s good advice for everyone.

    This just makes me unbelievably sad. And his lack of understanding that sometimes there are medical conditions that make us fat (of which I have several) disturbs me to no end. For weeks after I met him I had this stupid grin on my face every time I watched his show. I was so so happy (and by the way I had to walk uphill for about a mile and then stand on my feet for 5 hours in order to meet him… does that still make me some stupid lazy fattie?). Now I’m just going to wonder over and over what mean, nasty things he was thinking about me when he was shaking my hand.

    Honestly. This is one piece of FA news I had never read.
20. jodi, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am Said:

    i love alton (he was supposed to be a guest speaker at my org. annual meeting but he declined!) and so does my boyfriend – esp. his ‘feasting on asphalt’ (they have the same motorcycle)… it’s sad that he said such a thing but kinda agree with him (i know that’s bad but we really are a fat society)… i know there are people that have medical problems and emotional issues, but there are also a lot of people who are just darn lazy! just being honest… :o)
21. Nomie, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:49 am Said:

    My heart is broken, you guys. I love AB. How am I ever going to make his braised baby-back ribs again?

    No, seriously, that’s the most tragic part. That rib recipe is divine and now it’s tainted. :(
22. mccn, on February 14th, 2008 at 11:49 am Said:

    Shoot, man, I used to love the guy. Taking him off the TiVo tonight. . .

    Is this a theme with the FN? First Jaime Oliver, now Alton Brown. . .
23. amgriffin, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:03 pm Said:

    I think he simply has not realized that it’s bad science. I enjoy his shows in large part because it’s not just about recipes but often includes the science and chemistry involved in the cooking and ingredients.

    I think that he is rational, intelligent and probably a good critical thinker. He simply hasn’t had the data presented to him that will allow FACTS to replace the societial endorsed preconceived notions about fat.
24. Stacy, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:17 pm Said:

    Whew! What a relief! I don’t even know who Alton Brown is, and now I don’t need to try and find out. *crosses that off the to-do list*
25. Lexy, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:23 pm Said:

    I agree with amgriffin. I love AB, and if he’s hating on fatties it’s probably just because he’s buying the “science” but he’s a smart cookie and I’m confident he can be saved.

    Plus he’s a huge proponent of using full fat ingredients and frequently whips out the deep fryer… so how serious could he really be? Or does he think only thin people get to eat delicious fried chicken?

    I’m torn… but I have faith in AB :)
26. Mochi Hada, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:26 pm Said:

    Wow…this is sad. Not because I personally care about him or his show or what he thinks, but I know a woman who’s quite large and she has met Alton in person at book signings or something, has had photos taken with him, has a huge crush on him and has often mentioned how nice and wonderful he was to everyone at his signings. Now I will have this image of him thinking to himself these thoughts. I really hesitate to tell her this; she would be pretty devastated, I think.
27. alix, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:33 pm Said:

    /sob

    Well, that’s one book tour I won’t be going to (why go see someone who is just going to think nasty things of you while you are GIVING THEM YOUR MONEY – boggle).

    I probably won’t stop watching the show, though. I appreciate it for its ability not just to give me recipes but tell me why the recipe is the way it is so that I can alter it (generally to make it healthier than his version).
28. boots, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:39 pm Said:

    The celebrities hating on fatties is making me sad. I think I might compile a dossier of fat acceptance stuff and start sending it to the ones I really like who make ass-headed public statements like this.
29. fatfighter, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:51 pm Said:

    So…because he says something that makes you feel bad you are going to what, boycott his show and stop liking him? That seems like a bit of an overreaction. “OMIGOD I am going to stop watching a HIGHLY ENJOYABLE show that I find useful and entertaining program because someone suggested that fat people should EXERCISE! I am APPALLED! Someone call Food Network immediately and scream for cancellation!!!!!”

    Good lord, gimme a break.
30. Maritzia, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:54 pm Said:

    That’s it. The straw just broke the camel’s back. I have written a lengthy letter to Mr. Brown, The Food Network, and his publisher.

    You can see a copy of it here”
    http://maritzia.consecrated-life.org/2008/02/14/shame-on-you-alton-brown/

    I urge all of you to write letters of your own. I’ve included links!
31. Eden, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:55 pm Said:

    The only time I can stand to have him on my TV is during “Iron Chef” when he’s forced to talk about what’s happening instead of attempting to be funny. At least I think he’s usually attempting to be funny. If he’s attempting to be an obnoxious pr—, he’s doing a much better job.
32. Phledge, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:56 pm Said:

    Yeah, he has a great Fried Troll recipe but, damnit, I’m not going to look it up now.
33. Rachel, on February 14th, 2008 at 12:58 pm Said:

    Somewhere an agent is groaning. Way to isolate and offend your fan base, there, Alton.

    I never liked Alton Brown. It appears now as if I am not missing out on much of anything of real substance.
34. Weetabix, on February 14th, 2008 at 1:00 pm Said:

    Nomie, I use the rib rub part of his braised rib recipe myself and agree, it’s absolutely delish. I’m too lazy (AND TOO FAT) to do the constant babysitting involving for the braise though.
35. O.C., on February 14th, 2008 at 1:07 pm Said:

    amgriffin is right. Let’s write to Alton. He’s a smart guy who understands science. At first HAES and the realities of size and dieting research might make his head explode, but then maybe he’ll get it.
36. withoutscene, on February 14th, 2008 at 1:34 pm Said:

    fatfighter,

    No one here gets upset at someone suggesting that exercise and a balanced diet are good. What we get upset about is someone (especially someone people listen to) saying that by looking at someone (i.e. visually assessing their body) you can determine their eating and exercise habits–and thus, that they should eat less and exercise more. And that’s exactly what he’s doing. He wasn’t making a general statement about health; he said, very clearly:

    I see a lot of very heavy people at my demos and book signings and I don’t like that.
37. Alicia, on February 14th, 2008 at 1:47 pm Said:

    I am so totally sad right now. I love AB, he’s really invigorated me and my husband’s home meals. we used to be pretty hard core ‘eat out’ or super convenience food types. lots of processed crap that just were not that yummy.

    I’m just going to pretend that I don’t know this for a while, and take the really positive things I’ve gotten from him and his show. i mean, my husband made me pancakes. FROM SCRATCH. 6 months ago my husband was scared of boiling *water*
38. Paul, on February 14th, 2008 at 1:48 pm Said:

    Nothing new about Alton, sadly; he’s carried an anti-fat banner, in a quiet way admittedly, for years now.

    If you do contact him about this, you should probably note that his anti-fat quotes are a couple of years old.
39. Amy, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:10 pm Said:

    This makes me so sad. I too have had a huge crush on AB forever and now my love must grow cold.
40. Fat Girl, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:15 pm Said:

    …..

    This has just completely ruined my day. Not your fault, of course- I would have heard eventually. But I can’t believe the man I love actually said that. It’s incredibly upsetting. :-(
41. Fat Girl, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm Said:

    Even more upsetting is that I can imagine his VOICE saying it. Gahhh.
42. Rose, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:21 pm Said:

    jodi, there are a lot of people who are just plain dull, mean, and stupid, too.

    And as you and Alton Brown prove, they tend to be damn proud of it.
43. wriggles, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm Said:

    They come up and they’re so nice and they say ‘gosh we love food and love your show’ and I want to say ‘I think you might lay off both and go for a walk’.

    fatfighter, I think this is his way of stating that he doesn’t want fat people to watch his show, so giving him what he wants could hardly be seen as an overreaction. Incidentally I notice that he said that he hasn’t said this not because he’s a coward or because that might be career suicide, but to spare the feelings of fatties, how very noble of him.
44. Andie, on February 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm Said:

    Not only does this alienate his fan base but what about his fellow chefs at FN? Emeril, Mario, Paula, Nigella, and Ina all have wonderful shows and are awesome chefs yet they are not super thin either. Does he also not like looking at them? Does he want to tell them to stop cooking and lay off the food?
45. Sarah, on February 14th, 2008 at 3:33 pm Said:

    Huh – I thought you were leaving, fatfigher.

    I guess the allure of bashing fatties over the head with your sparkling “wit” was just too much to give up.

    Oh, and Alton Brown sucks. I’ll take the pleasing Ina Gardner over him any day of the week.
46. Godless Heathen, on February 14th, 2008 at 4:04 pm Said:

    Et tu, Alton? Maybe we can hire Richard Dean Anderson to go kick his ass. (Show makes constant references to MacGuyver.)

    I still love his shows, but I’m probably not going to buy his books now. Here’s a man who spends a lot of time around Mario Batali as his career, and yet he’s decided that fat people need hate and ridicule?

    Seriously, if it weren’t for Alton I don’t think I’d know how to make a lot of foods, and it’s because of his show that I eat better on my tiny tiny food budget. (Even if it’s still only one meal a day.) But clearly, I need to lay off food and his show for my “health” and go back to buying everything ready made from the store.
47. Orodemniades, on February 14th, 2008 at 4:31 pm Said:

    Oh Alton. You just had to go there, didn’t you?

    Alas.
48. Kristin, on February 14th, 2008 at 4:41 pm Said:

    Jeez, Jodi. Yeah, exercise is good. As in, something good in and of itself, not a means to the thin end. You might want to read more of the great posts in the fatosphere. I checked out your webpage, and you said you ran five miles last week and gained 1.5 pounds and were really upset. Does that tell you anything? For instance, that you can exercise all you want and still not lose weight?
49. red_delicious, on February 14th, 2008 at 4:56 pm Said:

    Wow Alton Brown said that?! That’s so cruel, because obviously we fatties just sit around and eat all day. We don’t exercise regularly, eat right, or have certain diseases or genetics that make us fat. What a moron.
50. Jane, on February 14th, 2008 at 5:29 pm Said:

    I’m sorry I destroyed Weetabix’s Alton Brown’s Spiky Hair Giving Her Boobs a Rash fantasy. :( (The blog’s an offshoot of the website linked through my name, just for clarification.)

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