Bottom Of The Pyramid
April 25th, 2007
A lovely little essay to start off your day. About how the way we see ourselves can be distorted, and how it can be reclaimed.
I was running unaware—running after Patrick Bush because it was the summer after 5th grade and running was fun and fast. I was running through the grass, near the fence, not quite catching him, now closer, laughing laughing out of breath. Then he turned and ran after me. I circled around the slide and the diving boards, then he said it. “Wow. You have Thunder Thighs. Maybe you shouldn’t be running around the pool like that that.” … I have thought about my thighs once a day (or more) every day since.
Thanks to Amy for the link.
Posted by mo pie
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Ug. That story really hits home, I didn’t know I was fat until the world told me either! I *was* a big-ish kid, but there was a lot of muscle, and dude, I was a KID. The evilness of children, and ther pervasive body fascism in SoCal is one reason my husband and I worry about raising children here. We’re both from regions with considerably less body obsession, and even so, I got hounded for being “fat”.
One of my first memories of being told I was fat was by an adult. She told me that my butt was kind of big and I should think about jogging or something. I think I was probably about 7 or 8 at the time.
I have to admit that I made huge strides toward positive body image after I met the man I’m dating now. He adores how I look, especially my lovely big butt!
I was doing I-don’t-know-what when I was a child, and I was in fourth or fifth grade; I was probably reading, or on my way to read, outside, and wearing shorts for one of the last times in my life, when my mother said, apropos of I know not what, that I had thighs like hams! Thanks, Mom! It’s decades later, and my Mom is long gone, but that rings through my ears on virtually a daily basis.
I had the same stocky build as my brother, who was a year older – in fact, when we were children, we were frequently mistaken for twins (of either gender, pre-puberty). I was hounded endlessly about my weight, and his weight was never ever ever mentioned. Not once. I mentioned that to him, this year (when the realization came to me), and he said, “Why would they? There was nothing wrong with my weight.”
Is it just me? I thought it was unbelievably unfair.
Could cry me a river after reading this post (and the post it was linked to).
My entire life has been driven by the relentless comments an adult relative made to me at an early age. Was subjected to frequent contact with him from birth to about age 15. Earliest comments I recall is that I was fat. Then I started getting comments that I was getting “breasts”; everything said in a manner to make me feel ashamed. I complained to my parents and they said he was just teasing me and to ignore it, so I just had to take it.
Because of his comments, I began walking hunched forward with my arms across my chest to try to hide the chubby girl’s breasts.
Fast forward–I am now 43 years old and my shoulder bones are misshappen (sp?) from decades of trying to hide myself from the world. Yes, the words still echo in my mind after decades and have affected my very being and who I have become. A big old mess.
I’ve watched the movie “Talk Radio” several times and one line always hits home. ” Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words cause permanent damage.” How true that is.
Mo, thank you so much for giving me a place to vent. Have been reading your sites for a few years and love them!
Take care,
Barb
Funny how these things stick with us years and years after they happen.
I had plenty of teasing from other kids…but I usually came right back at them with zingers of my own…
I was in Ninth Grade and I was trying out for a play.
The part I got?
The Fat Ballerina.
Described in the script as: Grossly fat and clumsy.
I refused the part and didn’t try out for a play until years later.
It turned out the reason I got the part wasn’t because I was fat. It was because I was a great physical comic and could do a perfect prat fall.
Still ever since then I always felt huge and clumsy…until recently.
Now I’m in belly dancing and having a great time. It doesn’t even matter that I’m about 100 pounds heavier then I was in ninth grade…course it’s coming off now with all the dancing.
Thanks for linking to my post. My weight is something I still think about almost every waking minute. Every once in a while I have a moment of clarity, but usually I’m trying to avoid the mirror. I love this site, and I’m glad I found it.
Peace,
Shelley
Yup! I still don’t wear shorts after a comment when I was eleven. (And I’m fairly confident.)
Of course, if you think you look bad when you exercise, you don’t exercise…
I know people like to blame video games, well for most things. It’s like the new scapegoat.
However, when I was 10 all I did was play Nintendo. I ended up having a good body image from it. I mean who can’t relate to Super Mario, he runs and runs but he never gets thin. There’s something relatable.
Also the Toad/Toadette people are just too cute, and they actually do look like cute chubby people. They are based on a character style known as Chibi in Japan. It’s basically a small stout character, with little detail, but alot of cute things like mits for hands as an example.
I don’t know if this means that the Japanese are less size-biased than we are, since I’ve never experienced the culture outside of video games and Anime, like most Americans. It seems at least they think we’re cute. That’s better than what we’re getting here in America.
All kids are teased about body and appearances regardless of weight. I was thin and was teased for being thin – a toothpick, Ethiopian, etc. I was teased for other appearance related things too – I think everyone is.