How To Look Like… Well, Something
October 19th, 2007
The article is called “How To Look Like A Plus-Size Model.” But, I’m sorry, if I ever put bronzer on my double chin to make it “recede,” you have my permission to stone me to death with Double Stuf Oreos.
Posted by mo pie
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I can understand suggesting a well-fitted bra (but I haven’t seen one yet that is slimming), but as far as wearing Spanx, I don’t think I would want to struggle into them (and I definitely don’t want my fat squished and pushed elsewhere).
There are good tips in here, such as doing your hair and make-up to emphasize what you like about yourself (same with the clothes), but why does slimming have to be brought up? If I were to be a plus-size model, why would I want to look slimmer? Kind of defeats the plus-size thing, IMHO (of course, I would have to be a super-plus-size model since I’m a size 28/30).
I think it’s been discussed here before, but “control” underwear/nylons do work for some people but not others… pear-shapes seem to have better luck than apples (I think).
I don’t wear tights (pantyhose) very often, but when I do, I wear bodyshaper ones. They don’t pull me in much, but they smooth things out (and they also don’t try to fall down, which practically anything else does). They do not cause unwanted lumps elsewhere.
I’ve heard of the bronzer theory elsewhere… usually, though, you’re supposed to dab it between your breasts to make your cleavage look deeper, something I would also rather face death by Oreos than do! I wonder if the writer of the article is extrapolating from that? In reality, I can’t see that her idea would do anything but make your neck look grubby.
I agree about getting a good bra, though. Not so much about looking thinner, but being comfortable. Waiting for a discreet moment to yank your straps does not go well with feeling elegant and graceful.
“Don’t deny your true size…” but be sure to wear Spanx to suck it all in!
What?
On a somewhat related note, this is what I hate about Tim Gunn’s new What Not to Wear imitation show. At least Clinton and Stacy advise women to dress the bodies they have with flattering styles, and dress up key aspects.
Tim Gunn hands out spanx to the fat women on his show. Well, technically his cronie Veronica does it. Do they really think a woman is going to wear that restrictive body condom every day? I wore one for my wedding and I was ready to peel out of it in just a few hours.
I don’t know, I’m fond of shape wear. I just feel they give a nice, smooth silhouette without really changing your size. But then, there’s alot to say about that too- what’s so wrong about some lumps and bumps? That’s what a real figure looks like! Any figure!
But its all about your personal taste. I’m a regular vintage clothing wearer, and so I’ve gotten used to shape wear. I love lingerie in general though, so maybe that’s why? I don’t know. I will vouch for the pantyhose though too. I usually stick with a garter belt and thigh highs, but sometimes you just don’t want to deal with it (its a bit tricky buckling all that together!) so spanx are the only pantyhose I know that will stay where it is.
That bronzer thing is just funny though!
“I know it would feel better to see a lower number size on your jeans”
I Xed out of the window after that.
Meanwhile, Fitness magazine just put up a slide show of women who embrace their flaws. One of them, Lyndsey Kane says, “I realized that regardless of my diet or exercise habits, this size-14 body wasn’t going anywhere, so I stopped hating it. I learned that my body doesn’t stop me from doing what I want or wearing what I want. I’m beautiful.” Another, Dawn Denise, says, “I realize that my butt has a gravitational force all its own: It stops guys in their tracks, who have nothing but admiring things to say about it.”
Why Our Flaws Are Beautiful: Fitness Magazine Tells Us to Embrace Our Unique Imperfections
I could barely get through it. I sometimes wear a shaper (panties that reach up under my breasts and smooth out my tummy) when I’m feeling insecure, but OMG, I wouldn’t ever wear Spanx. I saw them in Lane Bryant a few weeks ago and I was pretty much revolted. Reminds me of all the times my mom recommended control top pantyhose to me when I was younger.
(And normally I don’t object to this sort of thing, but WTF is up with that name? “Spanx”? Well, if they’re admitting that some fat women enjoy spanking, that’s cool, but is it more like “Fat women *deserve* a spanking for having to wear these”? I dunno, maybe I should have a cup of coffee before I start posting comments to people’s blogs.)
The one part of me that is lumpy and big is my ass and that is not going to be tamed by anything as wimpy as spanx. So I’ll just let it be. I wil second the buying of the correct size in jeans. I just wince when I see the really tight jeans with the curves squeezed out. It just makes me want to go over and give the poor, uncomfortable girl a hug. Maybe that would be a deterant for the future.
Ruth, I think it’s “nobody would want to spank your ass the way it’s normally shaped, so try these!” As if a good spanking isn’t supposed to cause a jiggle. :)
The article is… weird. I tried Spanx for a bridesmaid dress and hated it — I don’t care what they say, the top band rolled down and looked worse than if I went without the damn thing. Maybe that’s because I don’t have much of a waist to keep the thing up? I wound up getting a one-piece bodyshaper that took care of the need for a strapless bra, avoided pantylines under the dress, and was sexy. Which the Spanx are not. They do make a decent trouser sock that doesn’t fall down, that’s all I’ll say for them.
But back to the article. I agree with flaunting the parts of yourself you love, and wearing the right size jeans and bra, but what’s with the “perfect hair and makeup is a must” crap? So, it’s OK to be a little rumpled and casual and “natural” if you’re thin, but not if you’re fat? And the bronzer thing is just stupid.
Contrary to popular belief, the end of the year is one of the best times to look for, awesome descion