Dan Savage Has Our Back
Rei sent a heads up about this week’s Savage Love column, which is just unbelievable. (In case you’re unfamiliar with it, the column is extremely frank about sex and in its use of language. Extremely frank. So click with caution.)
I’ve only ever been in relationships with fit, attractive, intellectual girls. I’m married to one and I’m madly in love with her. I’ve been able to repress my desires for the past three years, hoping that I’d become sexually attracted to my wife. Unfortunately, it’s now clear that fat, ugly, hick girls are what turn my crank—but I could never be in a relationship with one of these girls.
You might recall the whole “Dan Savage: does he hate fat people?” controversy a while back. But I don’t think we could have asked for a more spirited defense.
A long, long time ago you internalized our culture’s anti-fat prejudice. We all do, of course, to greater or lesser extents. But when you hit puberty, BATL, your sexual tastes brought you into conflict with those anti-fat prejudices. At that moment, BATL, you had an obligation to yourself and to your future sex partners to overcome your prejudices. Instead, disgusted by your desires, you projected your disgust and anger onto the women you want to fuck. Terrified of the shame and judgment that would come your way if you had a relationship with a big woman, you convinced yourself that all big women are thick, stupid trash.
The whole thing is very satisfying,with lots of four-letter words. I love Dan Savage.
Posted by mo pie
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That. Was. Awesome!!
I’ve always wondered how many guys out there are into fat chicks and are just too repressed to go for it. I bet it’s fairly common. BATL is an asshole, though for sure.
“That woman deserves better than you.”- I think that’s my favorite part.
It’s true, many guys that are attracted to larger women (not fetishists, but just attracted to a certain look) have to come deal with teasing…
Especially if they themselves fall within the pop-attractive norms.
My husband said that he struggled for years, dating women he just wasn’t attractive to because he would get harshly criticsized when he did date a curvier girl (harshest words from his mother and sister) …
Luckily…he got over that along with teenage angst and other immature insecurities..but I’ve been told by other men that if you are attracted to anything outside of what is the social norm you risk questioning of your sexuality and role as a man on the whole.
Check this out:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=OUzvmJUNQSY
I’m black and this black guy needs a SERIOUS reality check!
“I’ve been told by other men that if you are attracted to anything outside of what is the social norm you risk questioning of your sexuality and role as a man on the whole.”
And the only thing worse than dating a fat girl is dating a man, right? Gross attitude. I’m not saying it’s yours, just that it’s gross.
It is a gross attitude…
luckily one that isn’t mine.
I’m black too and that black guy is FAR from attractive so he should shut up!
Read Dan and I agree about him being spirited!