First off, on the topic of Alastair’s sexuality and queer themes in general, this Advocate interview is a great read; thanks for the link, Jack Daniels! (If you missed that conversation, it’s in last week’s comments.)

And now, on with the show! I’m very excited about the title, can I just say that? There will be singing! It’ll be just like Glee! Right?

The “previously ons” are extra exciting to me because I still haven’t seen the first two episodes so it’s ALL NEW INFORMATION. Will is wearing a cute owl shirt, and Will and Chris Sligh (whose name, I now know thanks to you guys, is Ian) have cute chemistry, and Gina Torres has food issues.

Who is Crying Shower Cap Girl? Did we see her last week?

“Can we skip the nightly ‘who’s fatter’ contest”? I continue to love Will.

Now there’s some backstory between Becca and Chloe (who I do not like). Oh, Amber was going to let Crying Shower Cap Girl into their talent show act, and Chloe rejected her. See, I was right about not liking her! She also said the more weight she lost last summer, the more people were jealous of her and disliked her. But we’ve seen her distancing herself from people (notably Crying Shower Cap Girl and her brother) not the other way around.

Gina Torres (Dr. somebody) seems so awkward standing up to talk in front of people. Why is she a camp director if she’s scared of all the kids? And Jillian Michaels continues to scare me. And Hot Buff Guy, whose name I have forgotten again, is charming. Was it George, or am I just thinking of George Clooney for some reason?

The kids are daydreaming about food whilst eating lowfat cheese popovers. Are they all going to be portrayed as junk food addicts? Hopefully not.

Jillian Michaels is named Shea. What are the odds I will actually remmeber this? And
she’s got it in for the dad/cook. I kinda don’t care about this plotline.

“Will’s the girl who likes basketball, right?”
“I have no idea what she likes, except being overweight. She loves that.”

Wow, way to care abut your campers, there, Gina Torres. “I have no idea what she likes”? And did you steal her journal, which is missing? DUH DUH DUUUUHHH.

A property line dispute. Whee. Scintillating. Bring on the talent show! TAL-ENT! TAL-ENT!

Oh my god, Chris Sligh is trying to write a song, and now he has found a journal! With lines of poetry in it that almost sound like… song lyrics!?

Yay, the owl shirt is back! I really want that owl shirt. Someone tell me where it comes from.

Chloe is mean to everyone who isn’t Trent. Boo. Hiss. (Not that she isn’t a prototypical Mean Girl, who probably only has the power to be a Mean Girl here at fat camp, but whatever.)

More about the property lizzzzzzzzzzz.

Will lost her journal and will die if anyone reads it. How about if someone takes it and turns it into song lyrics and performs them at the talent show? I mean, not that that’s gonna happen. But WHAT IF?

Property line dispute guy might have a thing for Gina Torreszzzzzzzzz.

Why is Amber so uncomfortable about that camera that they found in lost and found? And is the journal that Becca found really Will’s or is it someone else’s? So many questions!

Oh Becca, don’t read it. DON’T READ IT. It is a terrible idea.

She’s gonna read it.

She read it.

Will is now wearing a cute hat and playing ping pong with Ian. He should maybe tell her he ran across some potential lyrics in a journal, don’t you think? And also, Becca clearly did not enjoy whatever it was she read. I TOLD YOU SO, BECCA.

They’re watching fake More to Love and it’s called Love Handles! Okay, that’s hilarious.

Gina Torres is in some type of muffin-eating support group. I mean, that’s not a euphemism. Or… is it?

Is it OA? If so, why is everyone skinny? I mean, I didn’t freeze frame it or anything, but it looked like a bunch of skinny people.

That property line guy came over with some zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. THIS IS BORING, SHOW! How many times do I have to fake fall asleep before you psychically pick up on my boredom, go back in time, and make this more exciting? I liked it better when she had a Mysterious Romantic Past with the Rival Camp Director.

Amber is apparently played by Hayley Hasslehoff. Good for you, Hayley! I’m sorry your father is an alcoholic. That must be tough.

The camera plotline is now being resolved. It is Crying Shower Cap Girl’s camera. And she’s named Sierra? Maybe? And this is a whole lot of stupid drama about a camera when Amber could have just jumped in to say, “Oops, my bad, it’s not mine after all.” But instead, there is a whole dramatic scene with Chloe defending her.

Will and Ian are having a really nice moment. I’m sure nothing’s going to go wrong when he starts singing his song.

Gina Torres is giving an awkward speech about the origins of the word “talent” and property sign guy is listening. Why are you putting me to sleep at the talent show, plotline?

Poppy and Sierra. Poppy is the other adult, and has a ukelele. Sierra is playing the triangle.

Amber and Chloe are having a weird fight about the camera again. I’m interested in knowing what’s going on with Amber. And now they’re not on the stage, and Becca has to go up and dance. With that other guy, who is not Trent, singing. And that was very funny.

Now Trent is kissing Chloe on advice from George Clooney, even though he really likes Amber more. Well we all like Amber more! Then again, I don’t really care about Trent either. I’m all about Will and Ian.

Alastair seems to have some kind of thing for Trent. (Perhaps unconsciously so! Because we know sexuality is complex!) And now he’s turning the magic show into a comedy routine, and they’re laughing at him. And it’s cute.

Hahahaha Love Handles spoof! Hahahaha.

Ian sings the song! Finally. “This song is inspired by a poem I found. I don’t know who you are, but you’re out there somewhere, and you’re awesome.” Maybe Will won’t take it badly after all?

And, she ran out. Maybe she will. Maybe Will will. Her name is confusing me. It’s a good song, though.

Will Will come back? Will won’t!

Amber is poor and embarrassed by her poverty, and that was her motivation with the whole camera thing. But she seems genuinely happy for Chloe, that she got to make out with Trent. Because she’s sweet, that Amber.

Will and Ian are having it out about the journal. Noooooo. Don’t let this come between you, Will! NOooooooOOoooooOOOO! Okay, apparently I am more invested in this relationship than I thought.

And now it’s over! But next week, it looks there’s hope. And people are kissing, but I can’t tell who. Yay! See you guys here next week?

Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Celebrities, Glee, Huge, Magazines, More To Love, Nikki Blonsky, TV