C Is For Cookie, S Is For Snooki, M Is For Me Rolling My Eyes All The Way Back Into My Head
In the annals of Stupid Diets, I don’t think we’ve talked about the Cookie Diet yet. But now the silence must be broken! Because Snooki is involved. Threat level orange, if you will. Threat level fake-tan, oompa-loompa orange.
On the diet, she eats only one meal a day (usually chicken) — and six cookies, each of which suppresses hunger. The six cookies — which contain beef and milk protein — each contain about 11 grams of carbohydrates and 90 calories.
The biggest challenge so far? No binge drinking!
“If I go out I am going to have a drink, but I am not going to have 10 drinks like I usually would,” she says.
There’s a lot of diet talk at the link, so be forewarned before you follow it, but it does point out a couple of crucial things. Firstly, that these “diet” “cookies” ARE MADE OF BEEF. That does not sound like a cookie. In fact, it sounds like a crime against cookies. And secondly, that if you’re going to starve yourself and eat only one meal a day, you’d get the same effect by eating deli turkey slices and a few Oreos. Same nutrition, same constant state of gnawing hunger, same probability that you’ll regain the weight and then some.
Hooray for her quitting binge drinking, though, right? Sigh.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Celebrities, Diet Talk, Diet Talk Warning
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If I EVER have a beef cookie in my hand it’d better be because some tail wagging creature who licks his own cash and prizes for amusement is waiting for me to hand it over.
Meat cookies sound like something I would feed my dog. If you are going to starve yourself at least make your little bit of food enjoyable! But, if you think about it, cutting out 10 drinks/day is over 1000 calories. That could be some serious weight loss.
If it has beef in it does it still count as a cookie? And if it does what the hell man?
Also, I have no idea who Snooki is.
“Threat level orange, if you will. Threat level fake-tan, oompa-loompa orange.”
I agree with the rest of your article, but body snarking (even on someone who is as “easy” a target as Snooki) is not cool.
Huh. I’m not sure that calling someone orange is body snarking so much as style snarking. Where’s the line?
To me, it’s kinda like saying, “Hey lady in a vag-baring dress — I CAN SEE YOUR VAG.” Fair game, I think. Statement of fact.
I’m ready for America’s love affair with MTV’s Jersey Shore to end. No website I visit is safe — not BFD, not even Shut Up, Foodies. But I’m thinking it’s going to be like this until Snooki et al. start publicly imploding a’la Heidi Montag, while those who once lauded them rip them to shreds. And they’ll keep having to come back to MTV for any kind of opportunity, until the goodwill has been sucked out of everyone on all sides. See also: Real World Alumni, Road Rules Alumni.
And also. A beef cookie. A BEEF COOKIE. Snooki, I’m guessing this foray into fame has raised your tax bracket a bit, and you could hire a nutritionist or a chef. Instead, you opt to eat beef cookies. Yes, it’s your prerogative but still, way to take all the joy out of cookies and food.
“Beef cookie” makes me make the “robot on Star Trek imploding from paradoxical thought” noise…
She wouldn’t even have to resort to this crazy diet if she would ease up on those mixed drinks that are taller than she is. Plus, despite her being everywhere these days, I do think she has a cute figure.
Beef and milk protein cookies?
So…dog biscuits?
[mock horror]My idea of drinking is 1 drink… How can I be fat? Now everyone’s going to think I’m drunk all the time![/mock horror]
“Beef cookies” sounds kind of obscene, don’t you think?
Well, look, the girl dyes her body orange, wears zebra stripes in her hair, and bleaches her makeup; her judgement is impaired. She has a disability, probabLy brought on by all that alcohol, so I don’t think I am surprised she thinks eating dog biscuits instead of food is a great way to take care of herself.
During the first season of Jersey Shore, Snooki said that she’s in recovery from an eating disorder. How is this cookie diet thing a good idea??
I have no idea who this person is, and it appears to me that in this case, ignorance is bliss.
If she’s drinking 10 drinks at a time, then her weight would be the least of her problems.
Boots, I had no idea about the eating disorder (I do not watch Jersey Shore, I just know about Snooki from watching The Soup.) That makes this about 100x worse!
Cookie diet? Nonsense! It’s the Dog Biscuit diet. And it sounds just about as sensible and delicious as eating Milk Bones.
I had never heard of Snooki and assumed the Oompah-Loompah reference was just riffing on the idea of orange alert.
As for the drinking, I’m a lifelong teetotaler and reading about this diet makes me want to huddle in a corner with a bottle of something flamable.
This post has been Cookie Monster approved!
LOL “crime against cookies” Very few celebrities endorse diets that make sense or are healthy, but this one takes the cake…(mmm, cake!)
Mmmmmm…..kibbles and bits anyone??
So glad I lead such a boring life and don’t have a clue who this Snooki is.
Somehow, “jerky” seems a far more appropriate name than “cookie”. The Jerky Diet – ain’t it the truth!