Concern Trolling Via Post-It Note
We’ve talked about Passive Aggressive Notes before, when a woman sent a tragically misspelled note to some strangers at lunch, suggesting they should lose weight. Well, here we go again!
Please do not take this the wrong way, I am just concerned for your health. Have you considered Weight Watchers?
This was sent to a coworker. A pregnant coworker, no less. And the note-sender clearly did not realize this woman was pregnant. Things that are wrong about this include: using the phrase “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” lecturing a coworker about her weight as if it’s any of your business what she weighs or why she’s gained weight, doing so anonymously, and doing so via Post-It note, which any viewer of Sex and the City could tell you is NOT THE WAY TO GO.
Passive Aggressive Notes boiled it down to: mind your own business. And amen to that.
Thanks to Nonk for the link!
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Fatism, Tidbit, TV, Weight Loss
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It almost bothered me more to see the lengths that the submitter went to in her description to separate herself from OMGTEHFATNESS. :( It shouldn’t matter whether she was actually fat or not, whether she was pregnant or simply fat. The note was rude, period.
If I ever got a note like this at my workplace, I would so start leaving anonymous notes EVERYWHERE expressing concern about the health of my co-workers. “Have you ever considered smoking cessation?” “You look listless, are you eating enough protein?” “You yawned during the meeting, which could be a sign of sleep apnea!” “I can’t help but notice that you haven’t been using sunscreen.” PAY IT FORWARD.
The first sentence is also a comma splice.
Usually I’m sorry I read the comments on other web sites, but I rather enjoyed the comments attached to that article. And I learned some new words I can use in the workplace.
Elise…is “sanctimonious fuckbucket” on that list? LOL
I couldn’t help myself. I posted a long reply to the douche that was all “my obesity is my own fault so my doctor calls me every day”
There was a woman that I worked with who wanted to start one of those Weight Watchers at Work programs and she kept trying to recruit me. She didn’t leave passive aggressive post-its though, she would just walk up to me at random times and tell me how much it helped her and that she’d love it if I would consider signing up. I would have turned her in to HR except that she WAS the HR person. The day she sent an e-mail about it was the final straw. I forwarded that to my manager and she never said another word about it. To anyone. Ever.
I’ve always worked on the assumption that if you have to write something like “please don’t take it the wrong way”, then you KNOW you’re being a douche. In that case, you’re just trying to pin the blame for the negative repurcussions on the person you’ve just douchehounded.
Also, I agree with TsuKata: it wouldn’t have mattered if the submitter was just fat, as opposed to being pregnant. The note would still be just as bad.
Liza, yes, I think I’ll be using “Sanctimonious fuckbucket” any minute now!
(I was just thinking about this SATC episode yesterday. Freaky!)
People are so unfuckingbelievable!!!
I once got a weight loss solicitation in the mail. There was no name, no return address, but it had a handwritten note with MY name on it saying “I thought you might be interested in this, blah blah blah.” I was in my 20’s and an insecure actress living in L.A. at the time, and I was DEVASTATED! I honestly thought someone I knew had sent it. Turns out it was part of the “marketing” process. The company would get your name and addy, write a note, and send it.
Maybe the woman who sent that note should go work for them. Her karma’s already in danger, anyway.
(BTW, the only time I ever placed post-it notes was when I’d been subletting my friend’s apartment and he was coming back. I left puns all over his home. I’m still quite proud of it.)
Alyssa, I got that same fake-handwritten weight loss solicitation thing back in high school, and my MOTHER was the one who opened it. SO embarrassing. I treated all my friends weird for weeks because I couldn’t imagine which of them could have sent it.
I absolutely would *FLIP* if this happened to me. I don’t understand why people feel the need to BARGE into the lives of others only to bring negativity. Like it or not, this was not done out of consideration.
If I worked in an office where this happened, I would leave a post it in the same place that said ‘FUCK OFF.’ Just in case the offender thought they needed to come by and check in….
BAH!
I don’t know what upsets me more about this, that people now think fat people are “OMG RAWWRR!” if anyone mentions their weight, or that they should lose it and generally that fat people are unapproachable.
Or that people are still ignorant enough to believe, it’s simply a matter of will power when it comes to losing weight.
The post-it note should be considered a form of harrassment and turned over to HR. I agree with the statement that a comment that starts out with the phrase, “please don’t take this the wrong way” is setting the stage for a possibly offensive remark.
It is hurtful when a person is subjected to passive aggressive remarks; the person making those comments seem to be more methodical in their approach compared to aggressive types that appear to be more impulsive. It has been my experience on the receiving end of passive aggressive remarks that these people have more of a stuck up mindset; like they are better than everyone else. What is funny to me is that such people eventually come across as hypocrits at some point because they slip up in some area and do, say, or act in a manner, that is very familiar (if not identical to) the behavior they are criticizing. To live a life so “perfect” that these people feel the need to resort to that kind of behavior must be very stressful. I feel sorry for them.
I also think that those handwritten notes that advertise weight loss programs are not nice either, because they too resemble a snitty tone to the receiver because they come across as personal attacks from a person who intimately knows the receiver. Marketing campaigns like that were meant to bring a personal touch to the mass mail outs (I have received them before from insurance companies, make-up reps, and not to mention politicians!!) but it plays psychological games with a receiver who may take it as bullying. That is not right.
Sometimes I think that those remarks come from dim persons who simply do not really think about the reaction from receivers of those comments. They are just stupid. :-P I have had Country Bumpkin women ask me how far along I was (I have never been pregnant)when I was really gassy from lunch, or when I started HRT and put some weight around my mid-section. Those comments hurt regardless of how simple minded they were because I am proud of the fact that I am not a mom. Plus I would not do that to someone, so it surprises me when someone would be so rude and invasive.
But the comments from those on this blog that stated that they would explode somehow and use lots of cuss words to describe these types of people come across as offensive too. Retaliation as a response to something like that is never a good idea, even in daydreaming because it can lead to such hateful thinking that unprofessional behavior could come out someday. Maybe some people feel that overweight people will react with a RAWWRR!!! #*%@#!!!! response because they read or hear comments like I read on this blog so many times.
Bad attitudes exist in every size, race, religion, and socioeconomic status across the world. I don’t like it because ANY bad attitude comes across as a “Bummer.” “Buzzkill” “Something to avoid.” However good attitudes are attractive, regardless of size, race, etc…I know several fat persons who have beautiful personalities and I love being in their presense. They are very approachable. I also know several fat persons who have foul attitudes and I do not like it when they come around because they sap the life out of the environment they enter. THOSE people I definitely avoid when I can.
If an overweight person EVER is subjected to that kind of note writing, or little snitty remarks again, you can report the behavior as contributing to a “hostile work environment.” It is BAD ETHICS, and is comparable to sexual harrassment in the sense that it makes the receiver uncomfortable or upset.
It is no one’s business to be so bold as to suggest such a thing about a person’s lifestyle choice at the workplace or in other situations too. It is the overweight person’s decision to try to help themselves , they and their doctor’s decision to come up with a plan if it is a health threat, OR also the overweight person’s decision to feel good about their size regardless of how big it is and exude that kind of beauty that only a radiant positive person can display.
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