Dear Kirstie Alley: Consider Finding Something Else to Bank On
Oh, Kirstie Alley. You’re a ridiculously beautiful woman. You’re reasonably talented, you’re fairly charming, you’re actually pretty hilarious, even. My point is, you have many excellent qualities, all of which are ripe for the picking and/or exploitation. You could have a career, Kirstie Alley! You could be an Actress, full stop. You don’t have to spend the entirety of your career being a Fat Actress. You don’t have to base all your attention-getting activies on the size of your body and the shape of your ass. Enough with Jenny Craig and the bikinis on Oprah and swearing that you’re going to get back into a bikini, on Oprah.
What I’m saying, Kirstie Alley, is that you don’t need to have a goddamn reality show about how you’re going to lose the weight. Kirstie Alley, you are equally hot and you are equally talented at every size you have ever been. But more importantly, Kirstie Alley: you are more than your goddamn fat. I’m tired of hearing you talk about it and I’m tired of hearing you complain about it, and I’m tired of hearing you hate on yourself and your body and your life.
I’m sorry, Kirstie Alley. I didn’t mean to get angry at you. It’s just–please believe me, Kirstie Alley, when I say that I’m not discounting your struggle, how difficult it is to be an actress in Hollywood, how incredibly hard it must be to work in an industry where you’re only as good as the size of your ass. I just wish, I guess, you didn’t have to buy into the game. I wish you didn’t have to say ha ha, everyone, I know how awful it is that I am fat! It just makes me sad. It just makes me wish you could be simultaneously happy with your size and happy in your career and successful and while I’m at it, I may as well wish the same for everyone, and ponies for all, and world peace and teleportation technology via the magic of physics. You know, the easy stuff.
Posted by jenfu
Filed under: Celebrities, Cold Hard Cash, Diet Talk Warning, Fatism, Gossip, Humor, Kirstie Alley, Media, TV, Weight Loss
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Amen.
I don’t really listen to 95% of what Kirstie Alley says anymore, but I will always mourn the fact that no one ever thought to ask her to do the US AbFab pilot that crashed and burned over the summer. She would have been a spot-on Edina.
Right on!
I love her so much. I have had a great big crush on her since I was a kid but I’m so annoyed that every time she opens her mouth it’s about how fat she is. Ugh.
Yeah, she has run this into the ground. Why does she need to make a big production out of her weight? This itself could kill her career.
This, a thousand times.
Kirstie, tell the haters to stick it ’cause you’re fine just the way you are! You’re hot and talented and FUNNY and if Hollywood doesn’t like that, there’s something wrong with Hollywood.
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She is so funny and talented. I wish she’d put all her self-hating energy into building a new career for herself, just as she is.
Yes. This, so much. Um, Word, I guess? (I don’t know if I’m using that correctly.)
A-Frickin-Men.
Someone needs to send a version of this to Oprah, too. I’d love to see her finally admit she’s a fat woman and get over it.
I’m 3,000 percent sure she is doing this for attention and money. She could talk about it less but it would make her less profitable.
She is such a gorgeous woman! If she weren’t always hating on her body (or trying to profit from it) she could be an incredibly positive influence in the fat acceptances community. I just don’t get it.
I too devoutly wish Kirstie would cut it out already with the weight obsession and self-exploitation.
But the unfortunate reality is, at this poin tin her career, her weight drama is probably her best bet for remaining in the public eye. Sadly, even the most talented actresses generally see their career declining and the roles start drying up once they get into their 40s and 50s. For every Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren, who both continue to land good leading roles in high-quality projects, there must be dozens — hundreds, maybe! — of Kirstie Alleys.
Realistically, without the weight mishegas, Kirstie would probably be getting no more public attention than any other washed up female sit com star. Shelley Long, anybody?
The weight stuff, though, does guarantee that at least the tabloids, and reality shows, and Oprah, will continue to pay attention to her.
I noticed that the cover of one of the tabloid rags this week features two headlines. One story says Angelina is too skinny, and the other story says Mariah is too fat.
And so it goes. Please make it stop!
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I say, let her use her body to promote herself…some people said that this is going to kill her career…what career!! This is the only thing shes got!
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I love Kirstie Alley when she *acts*! She was Lt. Saavik in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — a Vulcan, who is *not* a very easy part to play, given the great subtlety, even.