Woman Identified As "Black Lady Big Fat" On AM/PM Receipt
Not only did someone write that on Helen Hodges’ receipt, they then handed it to her when the transaction was finished. Here’s the story:
Hodges, 31, bought $10 worth of gas in an automated cash transaction at the pump island but assigned the money to the wrong pump. When Hodges went inside the store to ask for a refund, the clerk told her she needed to fill out a form with her name, address and phone number.
“He told me it would take two weeks to get my money,” Hodges recalled. She demanded a cash refund and left the store to run an errand to allow the clerk time to find the money. When Hodges returned a short time later, a second clerk handed her a $10 bill with a receipt attached. On the receipt, the first clerk had written “black lady big fat.”
“I’d like to apologize,” Saechou told News10. “We’re sorry she saw the note.” Saechou said the clerk did the best he could without the identifying information he had asked Hodges to provide.
“It says ‘black lady,’ and I can understand that because I am a black lady,” Hodges told News10. “But I don’t get ‘big fat.’ I don’t get that part.”
Hodges said the clerk could have used a description of her car or clothing instead. She said it was her 6-year-old son who noticed the slight, which hurt even more.
Saechou called Hodges Monday to offer the clerk’s side of the story. Hodges later told News10 she wasn’t satisfied with the explanation because it didn’t sound like a sincere apology.
“The lesson they should learn is my money helps run that store,” Hodges said. “And I won’t be going back.”
So what do you guys think? If they absolutely had to write down identifying information on the receipt, was there another way to go? Is the redundant “big fat” the issue? What if it had been written more euphemistically, like “heavyset black woman” instead? Is identifying someone by their size always wrong?
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Cold Hard Cash, Fatism, Question, Race & Ethnicity
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I noticed that the newspaper cut off the comments for this article, which is good because of all the fat haters out there.
Glad that this lady chose to stand up and say something. I hope other fat people in the area remember this.
Well, it seems like a double standard for this to be anti-FA. FAs seem to stress not assigning good or bad to the word “fat,” right? So it’s morally neutral. So what’s the difference between describing her as black or white or Asian or redheaded and describing her as fat? Fat is just another thing that describes her, right?
I have mixed feelings. At this point in time, in our culture, what he wrote was insulting. But at the same time, aren’t we trying to non-pathologize the word “fat”? If he had written “White guy, big tall” this wouldn’t be a news story.
i dont think it was ok to say fat because even though we fabulous fatties are trying to take back the word…
its kind of like a black person using the *N* word. THEY can do it because its who THEY are. most people who use the word FAT arent using it for positive reasons, they’re being ugly.
(ugly isnt necessarily on the outside. ugly can be behavior, too.)
I’m unsure about it, too. I think it’s okay to identify people by size, if that’s the most notable descriptor. And, really, “fat” should just be another descriptor, like “curly hair” or “wears glasses.”
Unfortunately, most people in our culture consider “fat” to be an insulting word, and I can’t help but feel that the clerk in this situation was annoyed with the customer for demanding an immediate refund and not complying with the usual procedure, and so wrote the note with mean-spirited intent. (Btw, that does seem like a very odd refund policy–a convenience store can’t give back 10 bucks on the spot? When it was the employee’s mistake?)
I wish that the customer wouldn’t take offense at being described as fat, and I wish the clerk would not consider it to be an insulting term that he could use to vent his irritation.
Also, that’s a total bullshit non-apology if I ever heard one.
This was definitely meant as an insult. The clerk was probably pi**ed off because she demanded her refund right away, rather than meekly accepting the waiting period. The clerk could have written “woman wearing a blue shirt, has a young boy with her,” or, as she says, could have described her car.
The thing is, if she were a tall, skinny white guy, the clerk probably would not have used size and color to describe him.
Just to clarify; “black” is not an insult. But some use it as a way to insinuate a person as “other” or “not one of us.” And it becomes insulting.
Really, they should have written her car color/type, what pump she was at, and that’s all they needed. Why do they need to describe her on the sheet?
Fat is used as a perjorative by many people, which it could have very easily been used against this woman.
*Not that fat is necessarily a bad thing, just that it could be meant or interpreted that way.
I think its funny that the apology was: “I’d like to apologize. We’re sorry she saw the note.” Not, “I’m sorry we called you as a black fatass.” Just “Sorry you saw that we called you a black fatass.”
She’s right, that was not a sincere apology.
Peace,
Shannon
If they had her name, they really didn’t need anything else. They could ask her for an ID to verify her identity. I agree that it’s a line between reclaiming the word and it being shaming in “popular” culture.
I’m mostly appalled by the whole “We’re sorry she saw the note” bullcrap, which says to me that it was probably not meant as just a physical descriptor, but as a physical descriptor with a negative connotation.
Well the *obvious* solution would for this lady to lose her black and her fat. Preferably before her next gas purchase. It’s totally annoying that asking for money rightly owed now subjects a person to being called out for their race and size!
It’s such an odd thing to write. Doesn’t the adjective “fat” say all it needs to say?
“Hi, I’m black and BIG fat and I’m here to party down!”
I think I kind of want that stitched on a pillow.
Quoted: “Saechou said the clerk did the best he could without the identifying information he had asked Hodges to provide.”
Just to put this in perspective, this is someone who made a mistake herself (“automated island”), wasn’t happy with the minimum wage clerks need to follow procedure, and then apparently refused to give her name or id.
Could the clerk have been more polite in the internal note he made? Probably. Was this store policy? Unlikely. Could it have been avoided with a little more care? Sure.
Or the store could just refuse to violate refund policy for people who won’t give their name in the future, which is what got them this bad press in the first place.
Talk about a tempest in a teacup though!
“I can understand that because I am a black lady,” Hodges told News10. “But I don’t get ‘big fat.’ I don’t get that part.””
Since it was enough of an ID for another clerk to give her the refund, it’s probably correct as well. Neither part of the description is bad though in and of itself! Saying fat people are bad is wrong. Saying that they’re fat is, by definition, descriptive. Isn’t that the point of FA?
“I’d like to apologize,” Saechou told News10. “We’re sorry she saw the note.”
Close, but no – what you’re supposed to be is sorry that the note was written.
Aww, I live for the comments section.
I agree with the sentiment behind writing down the make, model and/or color of the VEHICLE instead of the driver and I definitely see how this would be offensive, but once again I must ask, how is this relevant to the greater scope of size acceptance?
First of all, to actually answer your question, I think it’s interesting to consider this issue and was curious what people thought. We don’t consider “fat” an epithet but some people, including this woman, clearly do (I agree with Richard, saying she “doesn’t get” why someone would use “fat” as a descriptor is merely disingenuous). And because it’s still a loaded term, others use the term to wound or to demean people. So it’s a complicated issue worth, I think, talking about.
And on a personal note, Seegz, since you’re the same guy who complained that my Jon Stewart video “doesn’t warrant a post,” I wanted to address something to you. You seem to think this blog represents some kind of monolithic groupthink about size acceptance. Well, no.
I write this blog almost entirely by myself, in what little spare time I have, and I’ve kept it going for five years. I don’t have time to sit and ponder before I post, “hmm, will Seegz approve of this? Does this contribute to the greater scope of size acceptance? HOW DOES THIS FIT IN WITH MY MISSION STATEMENT?”
Sometimes I’m simply throwing a topic out there for debate, sometimes I’m exhausted from grading papers for six hours straight and can’t even think clearly, and sometimes you’ll think the topic is “worthy of a post” and sometimes you won’t. I respect your disagreement and debate. But I wish you wouldn’t appoint yourself my one-man editorial board in the process.
I feel like the “big fat” (which on the receipt even seems to be added as an afterthought) was not meant to be a descriptor so much as an insult. Typically when people refer to people’s weight as a descriptor, words like “heavyset”, “overweight”, and “hefty” are used. Because for most of society the word “fat” still has mostly negative connotations.
And while “black” is not an insult either it can be used as such. It’s like on the news when they make a point to mention the race of a person involved, even when it adds no inherent value to the telling of the story.
What struck me as odd here was actually not the description but the sequencing – it just seems strange to have it in the order “black lady big fat” as opposed to “big fat black lady.” Maybe I’m being too detail oriented here, but that makes me think that it is more likely that the clerk added “big” and “fat” as insults because he was annoyed. (And it doesn’t seem to be a language issue because otherwise it would have been written in another language altogether.)
In terms of the comment from Alyssa “The thing is, if she were a tall, skinny white guy, the clerk probably would not have used size and color to describe him,” and using the word “black” to describe her as being an “other”:
Based on the gas station attendant’s name, it didn’t sound like he was white either. So if it had been any kind of white guy race probably would have been in the description too.
Oops, pressed submit too soon!
Based on the picture, it looked like the woman was big and fat.
But I think you should consider if I would approve or not because I am obviously so important!
Kidding aside, I’ll do a better job of keeping those thoughts to myself. You’re absolutely right, Mo.
I just see this as a big chance for a social paradigm shift and I guess I get overly anxious. I love the idea behind size acceptance and what it could mean for us as a society. This is your blog, though, and it’s admirable, actually, to want to keep our debate tactics sharp while not tackling everything by order of importance.
I sincerely apologize. If I ever forget that I posted this, please feel free to beat me over the head with my own ego.
Maybe I’m overanalyzing here, but I think that in this case the “big, fat” part was obviously meant as an insult. Now, I somehow don’t think she refused to give her info- her name, I mean- given that she just didn’t want to wait for 2 weeks to get her refund (which I can understand). She’s lucky that she got the refund- and I think that is probably why they gave the “non-apology.” The store is clearly on their clerk’s side, for whatever reason.
That being said I think that’s a completely unacceptable way to treat a customer, especially given that to me it was pretty obviously out of anger and meant to be insulting. Nevermind who was in the wrong; It is possible to be polite even while a customer is being difficult, and there’s simply no excuse for being insulting.
I look forward to the day where fat is a descriptor and not an insult, but the fact of the matter is that the majority of the time anyone over the age of 5 years is likely being insulting when they point out someone’s weight- and that the FA movement is still developing.
I had a police officer identify me as “fat” for my weight on some notes he took while writing me a fix-it ticket, which he then handed to me (without the ticket) when he had to go away quickly on a call. It was irritating more because I had just lost a significant amount of weight. I didn’t think of myself as “fat” anymore, but I was still identified that way.
um. would “heavy set” have been any better? i mean, i guess a little. but honestly…i think it’s just rude. i wouldn’t go back there either. my feelings would have been really hurt.
I laughed when I read Shannon’s comment above because it’s exactly what I was thinking!
I think if it perhaps was written more like a description and less like angry scrawling on a bathroom wall “SO AND SO IS A SUCH AND SUCH” it would have been more appropriate.
Descriptions are touchy, but this seemed more like the person was pissy about having to do their job and was taking it out on a customer in a juvenile way.
Sounds like a good reason not to refuse to give your name?
Almost as an aside, I’ll say the clerk should have asked for her name to identify her when she came back, instead of “fat”. But the rest of the story doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Why didn’t she just drive to the other pump and get her $10 worth of gas over there? And why did she leave for so long before coming back for her money? It was obviously long enough for the clerk’s shift to change… How long did she think it should take for them to get ten dollars together?
@Punchy – according to the article, she was asked for her name… she just didn’t give it.
She didn’t want to give it to get the two week refund, but why not give it for the “back in a bit” refund?
It could come down to a cultural misunderstanding. The grammar used on the note suggests to me that the service station attendant may not have English as a first language. There are many cultures where people are much more blunt in talking about weight and ‘big fat’ would not be seen as a slur but simply as a physical description.
Of course, without more information about the service station attendant it’s impossible to know for sure one way or the other. But given America is a melting-pot of different cultures it’s certainly a possible explanation.
I like how they said, “We’re sorry she saw the note.” Not that they are sorry for being rude, just sorry that they were caught being rude.
It would hurt my feelings if it was MY receipt. I do feel like being called “fat” is an insult, just because of how I was taunted with it by haters in the past. I had a doctor write “very large” on my chart notes once and it made me cry when I got home. I guess I am just over-sensitive about my weight, and tired of being judged by it. I am so much more than my weight!
So me and one other person used to lead the singing at my church, and one week the organist was going to be out, and he left detailed instructions for the substitute organist.
And those instructions referred to me throughout, a dozen times or more, as “the fat woman.” As in “the fat woman will signal you whether to play another verse.” I had known this organist for quite a while, and there was only one other singer up there, so he could’ve called me “the redheaded woman,” or “the woman on the right,” or even (gasp!) my name.
I only saw the instructions by accident, when the fill-in organist left them behind, and I actually thought it was pretty funny. But I can see how a more sensitive soul would’ve really had their feelings hurt by it.
So I wouldn’t necessarily be upset if someone described me as “big fat,” particularly after I’d refused to give my name. But it is pretty damn direct, and I can see as how it would bother someone.
I’m with the EvilWombatQueen (love that name!)
I think it was a cultural misunderstanding. The words “big fat” sound as though they were written by someone who is not a native English-speaker, and for whom, quite possibly, those words do not carry any negative associations.
And why even bother taking such a trivial incident to the media?
while i appreciate no one would want to see that note, i’m glad to see evilwombatqueen’s and susan’s comments. it’s what my gut instinct told me, too – and i note the whole story feels imbalanced and one-sided, like a layer could certainly be missing/there might be more to consider/i want more information. the owner’s apology doesn’t bother me, either, as a result – it would bother me a lot more if he’d thrown the clerk under the bus for dealing with what might have been a difficult situation for him/her (i mean, given that giving refunds is something it’s not a great idea to do when you are not the manager).