5 Google Alerts That I Just Clicked On
I’m writing this post in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, after a long and taxing Monday that those of you who follow me on Twitter are sick of hearing about, I’m sure. So my brain is broken, and instead of a real post, I give you… the five Google Alert e-mails that I clicked on just now.
This first one, I think it was the exclamation point that sucked me in. But I took the text from Yahoo! (there’s that exclamation point again).
1. Obese U.S. Man Hides Gun Between Rolls of Fat!
Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility…Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs. The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.
2. Brits Too Lazy To Have Sex, Let Alone Run For A Bus
People need to get fitter, not just for their own sake, but for the sake of their families, friends, and evidently their pets, too. If we don’t start to take control of this problem, a whole generation will become too unfit to perform even the most rudimentary of tasks.’
Doctors blamed chubby celebrities for adding to the obesity crisis by showing that it is possible to be fat and famous.
From, “we are fat and lazy because of e.g. Ricky Gervais” to “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE”:
3. Obesity-Cancer Link Is Growing
In the 1980s, researchers focused on the amount of fat people ate as a probable cause of cancer, but studies did not strongly support that. Later they turned to diets high in fruits and vegetables as a way to reduce cancer, but again, Willett said, they struggled to find convincing evidence in studies.
Now attention has turned to obesity, and more and more research is providing evidence that indict that as a cancer cause.
I remember Rachel Twittered about this one:
4. Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin
“In general, for weight loss, exercise is pretty useless,” says Eric Ravussin, chair in diabetes and metabolism at Louisiana State University and a prominent exercise researcher. Many recent studies have found that exercise isn’t as important in helping people lose weight as you hear so regularly in gym advertisements or on shows like The Biggest Loser — or, for that matter, from magazines like this one.
The basic problem is that while it’s true that exercise burns calories and that you must burn calories to lose weight, exercise has another effect: it can stimulate hunger. That causes us to eat more, which in turn can negate the weight-loss benefits we just accrued. Exercise, in other words, isn’t necessarily helping us lose weight. It may even be making it harder.
And the last one is just embarrassing (also, it’s a three-paragraph article with like 87 typos, my god):
5. Ashlee’s Secret To Post Baby Weight Loss
Ashlee, who gave birth to her son Bronx Mowgli with rocker hubby Pete eight months ago, said that reducing weight after the delivery was much easier than she had thought. Ashlee told People’s Celebrity Baby Blog : “After I had Bronx I lucked out…I mean, I’m 24-years-old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months, ” reports the Sun .
The singer-actress, who is all set to return to the world of television in Melrosde Place, said she and Pete manage their time with son Brionx easily.
Um, [sic].
Any thoughts about 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5? Please share!
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Celebrities, Exercise, Fatism, Humor, International, Links, Magazines, Ricky Gervais, Science, Sex & Romance, Tidbit, Weight Loss
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I also saw an article that someone retweeted about the camera adding 10 pounds. They were trying to explain why this happened. The last line, of course, was (and I think this might be an exact quote – I obviously didn’t make note of the website), “Or they could just lose ten pounds and call it even.”
But I do blame all the fat celebrities of the last couple years for my 34-year case of fatness. It’s also funny that of all the people I know with, or who have had, cancer are fit as a fiddle and thin or just thin and of average health.
#2: And there we go with the conflation of thinness and fitness. Fuck that. How about focusing on fitness without weightloss as the ultimate goal.
#4: This is only true for about 50% of people. Exercise (especially cardio) actually tends to reduce my appetite. I also know that when I have lost weight in the past (not that I’ve kept it off…) I was only able to do so with exercise.
I like how there are no other options other than “fat causes cancer”.
It can’t possibly be that the genes for excess adipose tissue are linked to genes that predispose one to certain types of cancer.
It can’t be that fat will hide or mask tumors- ie breast cancer.
It can’t be that fat people won’t go to the doctors, or the doctors will misdiagnose their cancer, and tell them the cure is to “lose weight, fatty”?
None of these other options are even contemplated? Especially when every person I know studying cancer notes that, for every cancer that seems to correlate with being fat, there’s a cancer where fat has a protective effect. We’re more likely to survive cancer treatments!
I’m sorry, it’s like explaining to my less biologically-savvy friends that cancer, while sad, is the curse of being multicellular. There’s no real way to prevent every single type of cancer, because the genes that cause it are the same ones that allow us to be multicellular.
I was waiting on someone to mention #1. I live in Houston and saw it on the news every day for about a week, and they still didn’t tell me where exactly the gun was being hidden on his body.
And it’s not just that they searched him once and didn’t find it. They searched him THREE times! I’m not sure if that’s incompetence on the part of HPD, or if his hiding place was just that good.
From the Brits too fat and lazy to have sex article:
“Three-quarters of couples surveyed admitted to having trouble mustering enough energy at the end of the day for a night of passion with their partner.”
Of course people are tired by bedtime, this is why people go to bed then, I don’t see any questions about mornings and afternoons of passion. I call this flawed.
1) Can’t figure out if their just pissed that a fat person was able to figure out a way to beat the system or or if their angry because the the guards were being lazy/ineffectual and the fat prisoner, well, wasn’t. Or if their just disgusted by the fat. Probably that last one.
2)Really? Wonder were all those potential, Obesity Epidemic causing, fat kids are coming from? Unless they figure fat folks are having sex like, once a year. Then resting up with tons of McGriddle gorging session between the sex/conception/birthing processes. Yeah, that makes sense.
3) @Fat Angie. Well, then the solution is obvious; Everybody needs to diet themselves into a state of unicellular thinness. Thusly bring ourselves one step closer to the elusive goal of living, for, like, EVER.
4) This is depressing. Mainly because what most people will end up taking from the article is depressingly stupid. I can see the arguments already- ‘This is WRONG!. It worked for ME!’ (Unless, of course, it’s all just put down as part of the Great Fat Acceptance Conspiracy).
5)So, when do we get the details on Bronx’s future eating disorder? Opp! I mean, ‘the health conscience relationship with food his parents are, totally, planning on instilling in their son.’
Huh. And I thought we were all gonna die because rogue nations have access to nuclear technology.
Silly me.
I guess I should stop worrying about psychotic dictators doing nuclear testing and START worrying about all the FAT out there.
And here I was gonna donate to food banks. Guess I oughtta re-think that craziness. Don’t want to add to teh fat! Better to just let families starve. It’s for their own good, after all.
I must admit, I found #1 kind of hilarious. It reminds me of when I was little and tried to hide things in my hair. Or the customers I get who unashamedly pull cash out of their bras, in public.
I’m surprised #4 isn’t being given it’s own post. They are talking about it on news shows and even my husband asked me about it. I’ve been mulling over an entry about it for days. I don’t know what to think. In the spring my husband and I joined a neighborhood gym and we went pretty much 5 days a week for about 2 months or so. I never lost a pound. I brought this up to him and he said it was because I wasn’t working out hard enough. To me, that’s an I can’t win statement. When would it be hard enough of a work out that it would be an anomaly that I didn’t lose weight? Do I need to pass out from exhaustion? Get injured like he did?
I love how in number 2, doctors blamed fat celebrities. And here I thought it was super-skinny celebrities that made us give up on losing weight, because we’ll never be that thin!
I so agree on number 4. When I exercise I am starving & will eat anything. Haha. Now I just eat & walk to get me moving :)
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