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Equal Opportunity Celebrity Fat-Bashing With J. Simp, K. Fed, and J. Goss

August 6th, 2009

celebrity fatwatch
Originally uploaded by mo pie

I get a lot of press releases… no, a lot. Most of them are for weight-loss products, so that’s a delightful waste of time. Today I got one about a diet plan, so I deleted it, but the first paragraph was interesting. (The headline, clearly capitalizing on the fact that people seem to inexplicably care about Jon Gosselin, was “Jon Loses Kate And Packs On 8…Pounds.”)

While it’s sad when a relationship comes to an end, it is not the time to turn to Ben & Jerry’s, french fries and beer. Recently single celebrity dads including Jon Gosselin, Kevin Federline and Brendan Frasier have been turning heads lately for their slightly rounder figures.

Have they been? All I’ve seen lately is Jessica Simpson and her 10 pound weight loss that supposedly means “her sexy body is back.” Just so I’m clear on the math here, plus 10 pounds: not sexy. Minus 10 pounds: SEXY. Charming. Apparently the article is even worse:

Here’s how it starts: “Until recently, it seemed you couldn’t have a strawberry festival or a chili cook-off without Jessica Simpson showing up to take the stage…” Sources say that Jess has “already peeled off” 10 pounds in ten days. And the story is called her “revenge bikini diet.” The mag says “She doesn’t want to be an even larger target” and “she doesn’t want to play the role of pitiful plump punchline any longer.”

Eyeroll. Also making me roll my eyes: someone is going to pay Kevin Federline $2.5 million to endorse a diet pill. I guess gaining weight can be a smart move sometimes, if you’re famous.

Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Celebrities, Fatism, Jessica Simpson, Media, TV

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7 Responses to Equal Opportunity Celebrity Fat-Bashing With J. Simp, K. Fed, and J. Goss

  1. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah, on August 6th, 2009 at 8:52 pm Said:

    Man, I wish I had remembered to get famous. I gained 35 pounds. I could be rich!

  2. Anoif, on August 6th, 2009 at 9:52 pm Said:

    HOW DARE THEY.

    Focusing on their children instead of spending endless hours in the gym.

    Those assholes.

  3. Robin, on August 7th, 2009 at 8:24 am Said:

    I gained like 20 pounds in the last year, where is my money?

  4. Bianca, on August 7th, 2009 at 8:53 am Said:

    I’ve always said the best way for a celeb to get press is to gain some weight, get on the cover of US Weekly proclaiming you love your curvy body, then lose 15 pounds and appear on the cover of People, talking about your new diet and exercise plan.

  5. A Sarah, on August 7th, 2009 at 10:31 am Said:

    K-fed used to be very attractive. He had a nice flat, firm stomach that had great tone. He really ballooned.

  6. peachesC, on August 7th, 2009 at 3:18 pm Said:

    the trash tabloid rags urk me and make me want to vomit. between them and the entertainment shows, i just turn off my tv and read rolling stone. hell even magazines like essence and cosmo are lame w/ the whole “celeb weight gain/loss” issue. but im just so burnt out on celebs/ people w/ no talent anyways

    i happen to like my fat just the way it is thank you very much!!!!

  7. Alyssa, on August 7th, 2009 at 4:29 pm Said:

    Yeah, how dare they do things like take care of their kids, be sad about their divorces, and in general, act like human beings!
    I gained 30 pounds in the last 4 years. Where’s my magazine cover? Where are my endorsement deals?!?!?!

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