Understanding Weight Loss
Phat Science has had some interesting posts this week, and I particularly wanted to talk about yesterday’s post, where La Wade looked at some of the science surrounding so-called “permanent” weight loss, and the factors that contribute to it. These factors seem to include certain dietary and exercise habits, online support, time in front of the television and computer, weight monitoring, and not reading diet books. I found this particularly interesting:
Multiple studies (5, 9, 10) have shown that basically, the more weight you lose, the harder it is to maintain. For this reason, many public health officials are now recommending that obese people strive to lose 10-15% of body weight and keep it off rather than trying to achieve a “normal” BMI and then rebound.
(Of course, if someone is obese and does “lose 10-15% of body weight,” they are still visibly obese. Just from looking at them, nobody can tell that they are actually following society’s dictates. This underscores yet again how counterproductive the culture of shaming and mockery is—what if you’re vilifying someone who’s already lost weight, hmm?)
More on La Wade’s approach can be found in the teaser and follow-up posts.
To me, these posts raise a lot of interesting questions and ideas. What do you think of the list? How closely does it correlate with your own habits, and does this mean you should be thinner or heavier than you are? Is the idea that some people can lose weight threatening to the body acceptance movement, or to you personally? Even if it’s only a small subset of people? And if so, why? Obviously, these aren’t simple questions. and I for one have no simple answers. But I’m interested in your thoughts.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Advocacy, Health, Science, Weight Loss
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I don’t think that someone being able to lose weight (or even choosing to) is really a threat the the fat acceptance movement. I can lose weight…and depending on which measure you are using, I have been able to maintain weight loss for a significant amount of time. I did eventually gain it all back, but I don’t doubt that I could lose weight again and keep it off for awhile again.
But what is a threat to the body acceptance movement is this idea that weight loss is a panacea for our problems. Weight loss will not necessarily make you happier or richer or more outgoing. Weight loss cannot make up for pain that you received when you were a fat person or the descrimination you faced.
I’ve come to the point where I don’t really care whether someone in the body acceptance (or FA) movement decides to modify their body in that way…but please do not expect me to listen to those same people tell me that if I’d just do A, then I would be thinner and therefore much more happy/fulfilled/richer/etc. Everyone has a right to claim those things regardless of body size.
I don’t think anyone has ever argued that it was impossible to lose weight, the big question is “What should you have to go through to maintain it?”
Anyone can lose weight through starvation and overexertion, it is only a threat to the body acceptance movement when you are told you are a failure for not starving and overexerting.
Telling people that maintaining a healthy diet and healthy exercise is killing them because they aren’t losing weight is a threat to body acceptance, not telling people that a good diet and regular exercise are healthy.
Categorizing a person by a stereotype is a threat to all forms of acceptance, but using statistics to pinpoint problem behaviors in segments of population should improve things for all. For instance, men should have more regular heart checks than women, but a woman’s heart concerns should not be dismissed because women don’t get heart attack as frequently as men. Women should check their breasts regularly for lumps, but a man who finds a lump should still have it tested even though a man is in relatively little danger for breast cancer.
I’m thin, and I don’t think my existence is a threat to fat acceptance. I do think expecting to use my body as a goal for someone else is. The threat isn’t in what is, the threat is in what you say and do to people about it.
You know, I think a problem with all these studies is that far too many people look at them and want to start pointing fingers at fat people, saying “Look! Look! This is how you should live!!!1!”
Personally, I’m sure I could lose maybe 20-30 lbs (which would be the 10-15% they mention) by being more active and eating better. I would still be fat though, even if I did exercise every day and severely reduced my calorie intake (the lowest I’ve ever gotten was maybe 215).
But at this point in my life, I simply choose not to. I like spending time on the internet. I like playing video games or watching anime (which constitutes most if not all of my “in front of TV time”. I like eating tasty food (which usually involves some sort of cheese). And it just so happens that I like these things more than what’s necessary to lose any weight (I have yet to find any type of exercise that I enjoy enough to engage in on a regular basis, and can’t afford expensive gyms or classes). But I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on much, so I don’t see why I should be villified for choosing to live how I want.
What threatens FA/SA is:
-How weight loss is thrown in our faces as the only way to be considered socially acceptable,
-People who get upset when well-balanced eating and exercise doesn’t lead to drastic weight loss or fat people do these things not for weight loss but because they just freaking want to,
-People who have lost weight who now consider themselves obesity experts and make it their life’s crusade to save us from fat, either ignorant of or refusing to realize that what worked for them will not work for every fat person on the planet.
In other words, too many lump fat people into the stereotype of lazy gluttons. They either refuse or don’t realize there are many factors to size, not just what we put in our mouths. They automatically see a big person and think we only eat greasy, sugary foods and get no physical activity at all. And now this fat hate is being targeted at children, which in my book is a big no-no.
Fat people don’t hate thin people. What a lot of them hate is that they are supposed to think it’s perfectly acceptable to be shamed and ridiculed to become thin; that they’re not supposed to exist until they reach a single digit size.
Here endeth the lesson.
I think I’m in agreement with the commenters here – I’ve always been a proponent of the idea that scientific truth can’t be harmful (assuming, of course, it is truth and not juked statistics or something) – that if something is true, well, it’s true and it’s out there and it is what it is. So, no, I don’t think that the possibility of weight loss and maintenance is a threat to FA/SA.
As always, the problem is how that information gets used. Especially because of the premium on thinness in our world, everyone assumes that it should be “worth it” to do lose weight and keep it off – it’s taken for granted that it’s possible for all. And then, of course, we go right back to fat people are fat only because they are lazy slobs incapable of doing anything right.
I’m not really sure how to combat that, actually – but at least calling it out can help.
(PS – I’m starting in on the book today – am excited to see how it goes!)
Lessee… I currently weigh 235; at 5’7″, that gives me a BMI of 36.8.
If i were to lose 10% of my current weight (23.5 pounds), that would put me at 211.5 pounds, with a BMI of 33.0.
If i were to lose 15% of my current weight (35.25 pounds), that would put me at 199.75 pounds, with a BMI of 31.2.
Either way, i’m still obese. Still fat. Since i’m still obese, am i supposed to try to lose another 10-15% from there until i am no longer considered obese? If that’s the case, then does that make 10-15% the new “last five pounds”?
Several years ago, I dropped 40 pounds using weight watchers.
I wrote down everything I put in my mouth. I exercised very strenuously every day. I liked that WW legalizes all food, really, but I really felt like I had to “strip” everything I made or ate.
Then, after a 9 month plateau — and the sadness of having a body that was still chubby in spite of diet, exercise and 40 fewer pounds, I switched to TOPS.
Last year was the hardest year of my life. This year has been busier, more intense and more anxiety-producing. I am back up to 10 pounds shy of my starting weight. (Roughly 154 pounds, at 4 feet 9 inches tall)
I simply CAN’T devote the hours, energy and money to tackle the 40 pounds again. I just can’t. It was like a full-freaking-time job.
What killed me was knowing that I could put that kind of energy into weight loss and weight maintenance but not ever, ever look like I was running, lifting weights, eating stripped down meals. It was so disappointing.
I’m hoping that, come May, I can eat food that’s fresher, get more exercise everyday and, most of all, reconnect with my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend. I just can’t think about weight anymore. I also simply have to get more rest. More sleep.
I say this with the pain of cardiovascular disease and diabetes in my family.
But dammit, I can’t obsess about body fat that just won’t ever get down lower than the “overweight” BMI. I can’t maintain the life it takes to get there and stay there.
Sorry this was so long.
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littlem: You’d think, but too many people would just look at you blankly and ask why you couldn’t just do it again now that you had a new starting weight and knew how to maintain weight loss. And again, and again, until you were thin enough to be between “normal” and anorexic.
Speaking as someone who’s done that…
I lost 10% of my bodyweight, which meant I went from a BMI of 33.3 to 30. Still obese, medically speaking. If I had known those numbers beforehand, I might have thought it was too small a loss to be worth the effort.
On the other hand: I feel a lot better for it. I see a slight difference in my appearance, but my body feels a lot more nimble and capable, and that’s the main benefit from my point of view.
I have maintained the loss for about two years now without putting in nearly as much effort as it took to lose it. I didn’t necessarily intend to stop there, but I don’t have as much free time as I did. I only seem to lose when I’m doing a lot of exercise, so losing is fairly time-intensive. I would like to exercise more than I do because I enjoy it; it took me nearly a year to lose my 10%, so even if skinniness was my ultimate aim I’d probably be pretty discouraged by now. If I lose more weight, that’s fine; equally, it’s fine if I don’t.
Nobody has asked me if I plan to lose more weight, but that might just be because I mostly associate with polite people!
I simply CAN’T devote the hours, energy and money to tackle the 40 pounds again. I just can’t. It was like a full-freaking-time job.
That’s pretty much how I feel. I’ve lost 40% of my bodyweight and kept it off for over four years now. Maintaining my weight is practically a second job. All I do is work, work out and sleep. I enjoy working out, but as for other interests, forget it!
I’ve actually turned down job opportunities because the extra hours involved would cut into my workout time.
I’d like to point out that while a bunch of them recommended aiming for 10-15% loss, that number isn’t actually tied to their definition of success. In fact, other than one study mentioned there with a 30 month time frame, I don’t see any mention of what number of pounds lost was considered successful by those studies and attainable with those habits, and for how long that success was maintained.
I think that publishing these results without actually attaching the numbers to pounds and people over months is pretty meaningless. So yes, it’s POSSIBLE to lose weight and maintain that loss for a lifetime. It’s also possible to fly to the moon. The numbers of people who want to do it versus the number of people who get to do it seem to me to be about the same for both pursuits.
Note that I don’t think it’s LaWade’s fault that she didn’t attach real numbers. The studies themselves don’t attach real numbers, because they are all such dismal failures long term. 30 months isn’t long term. A lifetime is.
I agree with what people have said here, especially Karen and Bree. Seriously, I don’t have the TIME to make maintenence of weight loss my full time job. And I’d still be way fat. There is more in life to do, like being kind to people, not obsessing about my own body 24/7.
Oh, and wasn’t reference (12) pretty conclusively debunked on JunkfoodScience recently?
I just wanted to be clear that I was NOT ripping on La Wade. She has always seemed ethical, sensitive and reasonable to me.
Sony, the studies do attach real numbers, the problem is that as you mention, different studies look at different weight loss goals and different time frames. And while I try to make my blog posts as detailed as possible, sometimes I do streamline things a bit in the interest of being at least somewhat concise! So the lack of detail is entirely my doing.
Many studies do look at maintenance after only one or two years, but there are also a large number of studies that use 3-5 year followup. A handful have examined even longer timeframes of up to 15 years. The National Weight Control Registry was started in 1995, and has several registrants who have maintained weight loss for 15 years or more, with the average person having maintained for 5 years.
So, you are right that it is difficult to distill a specific statistic to apply to long-term weight-loss success. But there are studies showing that some people do succeed at maintaining weight loss over quite long timeframes.
Oh, and I also wanted to just mention that I totally agree that killing yourself to maintain a weight loss is not a good choice for everyone and that I support the idea that everyone should choose for his or herself how much time and effort to devote to maintaining their weight.
And I think Hitori is right that some people will unfortunately point to studies like these and say that all fat people should lose weight, but rather than suppress the studies, I think a better way is to get the message out that everyone is different and weight loss is easier for some people than for others and that people should be able to make choices about their own bodies.
I’ve lost about 34 percent of my body and yet because I am still fat, I would still ostensibly get the lectures on how I should lose just another 10 percent and yet another until I am socially acceptable.
As a member of the 5 percent crowd of people who have lost weight and maintained it for at least five years, I don’t think the FA movement ought necessarily be threatened by the idea of sustainable weight loss itself. I recognize that there are people who are above their body’s set point range, just as there are people who are below it. I promote that if you eat well and in moderation combined with regular physical activity, your body will settle into its healthy weight range, which may or may not be thin.
The problem with acknowledging sustainable weight loss in the FA movement is that it’s an awfully slippery slope. Such concessions threaten to derail the entire conversation – “See! Even you admit weight loss is possible! I win!” So, I understand why some in the movement have taken a rather hard-line position on the matter.
Lindsay and Karen, you hit the nail on the head. That, exactly, is the problem. I was going to say the same thing, but you beat me to it.
I’ve often heard that the first few pounds a person loses will make for the greatest health improvements. Any additional weight loss mostly turns out to be ineffective. I think the reason for this is simple: It’s not the weight loss itself that improves your health, it’s the effing lifestyle change.
As for the people who lose weight and keep it off successfully, I imagine that most of them are probably still starving themselves. That’s not healthy, so we shouldn’t look at them as rolemodels. Nobody (except for us FA weirdos) ever takes that into account! The others, well, they probably lost no more than the aforementioned 10-15% and are now maintaining the weight in a healthy way.
I think what I’m trying to say is that yes, of course it is okay to lose weight if you’re above or at the high end of your natural setpoint. If you’re already at the lower end, though, because you’ve been leading a healthy lifestyle already, you definitely shouldn’t. Since it can be hard to determine what exactly your setpoint is, weight loss should never be the goal. After all, some people might gain weight if they start making healthier food choices – even if they’re fat! The goal should be health, and nothing else.
Rachel and Karen, you know I adore you both and what you write, but every year, every week, every day of my life I am getting more and more fed up with the deliberately stupid by dint of prejudice.
I imagine the conversation would go something like this:
The Other Person: You should lose just 10% of your bodyweight.
Me: But I just lost 30% of my bodyweight. (True story. I was 17 at the time. I’ve kept it all off, but I’ve never lost another ounce since. No matter what.)
The Other Person: But you have health risks in your family. You should lose just 10% of your bodyweight. Your clothes will look better.
Me: I just told you, I’ve already lost 30% of my previous total bodyweight.
The Other Person: But you should just lose 10% of your current bodyweight.
Me: If you wish to keep talking to me at any point during the rest of your life, this discussion is permanently closed. And if you have no cognitive grasp of why this discussion is permanently closed, you are more of an idiot than I previously thought, and I no longer want to talk to you anyway.
I am REALLY getting tired of the United States of Stupid. Really, we’re in recession, we’re at war, grain is getting rationed, the Constitution is getting ground underfoot. Seriously, who has time for the BS??
/rant
As for the people who lose weight and keep it off successfully, I imagine that most of them are probably still starving themselves. That’s not healthy, so we shouldn’t look at them as rolemodels.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but here’s no way I could maintain my workout regime if I were starving myself. I eat around 2000 calories a day. I also “know” several women on health and fitness boards who have lost a lot of weight and they eat well too.
I should add that I didn’t “starve” myself to lose weight, either. That approach leads to muscle loss which slows your metabolism.
Cindy and Susan,
Your comments so totally resonated with me. I also was a big loser (kept 120 pounds off for 3 years) and didn’t realize until I regained and started trying to lose again just what a weird sort of luxury it is to have the free time and energy to devote to a ‘body project.’
When I lost the weight, I was working only 30 hours a week and had very little going on outside of work (also childless and living in a safe neighborhood), which made it easy to maintain my rigorous exercise program and cook healthy meals. At the peak of my program, I was exercising vigorously for 2-4 hours a day, seven days a week and eating 2000 calories a day (Susan’s right – you can’t get by on less than that for long if you’re exercising regularly for more than an hour a day).
I think stability and low stress are big keys to maintaining the kind of focus needed to do this, because the fact of the matter is that there are a LOT of things more important than sticking to a weight loss program, and when one of those things comes into your life and wallops you flat, it can be almost impossible to keep your eyes on the prize.
I lost someone I loved very much, left (in serious disillusionment) a job I had been at for 7 years and used to love, started a new, very stressful day job AND took on a second full-time job running a theater company. During that time, the unrelenting stress laid me up sick every three months – – I caught every illness that came down the pike. I was so severely depressed on and off that I thought about knocking myself off (it’s very hard to keep working on perfecting your body when you think that possibly you would be better off dead). In the end, I regained all 120 pounds, and like Cindy, I just don’t have the resources to do all that work again – – especially without the hope of permanent change and all the advantages of time and money that I had before.
I don’t know if there’s any way to check for this, but my strong suspicion would be that the folks who lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off for years A) have a strong, loving, consistent and probably live-in source of emotional support in their lives (spouse or stable LTR) B) have lives that don’t change dramatically that often, and when they do, tend to shift back into a stable flow pretty rapidly and C) are emotionally pretty steady – not given to lengthy bouts of severe depression, hopelessness or anxiety.
Sony:
This:
So yes, it’s POSSIBLE to lose weight and maintain that loss for a lifetime. It’s also possible to fly to the moon. The numbers of people who want to do it versus the number of people who get to do it seem to me to be about the same for both pursuits.
is brilliant!
I don’t know if there’s any way to check for this, but my strong suspicion would be that the folks who lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off for years A) have a strong, loving, consistent and probably live-in source of emotional support in their lives (spouse or stable LTR) B) have lives that don’t change dramatically that often, and when they do, tend to shift back into a stable flow pretty rapidly and C) are emotionally pretty steady – not given to lengthy bouts of severe depression, hopelessness or anxiety.
Totally, totally true! I can check off all three boxes. And I’m only too well aware that if something in my life goes pear-shaped, my ass probably will too.
It was like a full-freaking-time job.
Wordy-word-word.
I have faced the same problem, over and over again. I am not denying weight loss is possible, because I’ve done it. But I can never sustain it, because you have to be really selfish and single-minded to do so, and I just can’t be that way for any extended period of time.
I work a full-time (desk) job, spend around ten hours a week commuting, maintain a house and yard, and have family and friends that make a lot of demands on my time–most of it quite enjoyable, but still time-consuming.
And as Hitori mentions, the things I like to do for my own fun are sedentary pursuits.
So sooner or later, it all just becomes a burden–a lifestyle that isn’t offering any enjoyment. I am, paradoxically, spending so much time on me that I don’t have any time for…me.
I sacrifice my spirit for the maintenance of my body, and I start to feel stressed, pushed, over-burdened. I get depressed. And then–I start binging. And here we go again.
I’m not threatened by that. I was 30 pounds below my maximum weight for around 8 years, and involved in size acceptance the whole time. Now, I’m only 10 pounds below my maximum weight, and I just don’t feel like doing what I’d need to in order to be lighter right now. Maybe some other time.
At first glance, I can say that in the “Diet” category, which lists the habits shown to be associated with successful maintenance of weight loss, I adhere to the following without even really thinking about it:
-Eating five or more servings of fruits and vegetables per day
-Not eating at fast food restaurants
-Using low-calorie pre-packaged meals
-Moderating intake of fat
-Eating breakfast
As for “Practicing portion control” – not so much. My breakfast this morning (cereal, skim milk, a mango and a few prunes) was prolly at least two servings’ worth of breakfast (my bowl of cereal alone was likely 2.5 cups’ worth. ) Then again, I’m not maintaining a weight loss or trying to shed wt, and am very active. I simply love fruits and veggies…and breakfast. But I will say, a bacon double cheeseburger or deep dish Chicago pizza can have its place here and there :-) And chocolate.
Okay – here’s what’s fascinating about reading this thread…the people who have talked about losing and maintaining a weight loss are talking about maintaining an exercise routine that is, let’s be realistic, not feasible for most people in society.
This is what I’ve always hated about shows like “The Biggest Loser.” They are put into a very isolated space with trainers and hours to devote to exercise (as well as people who are cooking for them on the show). Many of the things they are learning are not sustainable or replicable in the real world (unless you have lots of money).
It would be interesting to do a study on whether this is true on a larger scale…and look at the societal implications. I, for one, would be thrilled, if I could be paid by my company to workout for an hour every day within my 40 hour work week.
I’d use the 10-15% value as goals along the path rather than an endpoint. Lose that first 10% (making moderate changes to my diet and exercise) and then maintain it for a month before moving onto the next 10%.
Sure, it takes longer, but ultimately will be healthier and than if I use extreme measures to lose weight quickly (as I have done in the past many, many times).
I was 245 in October 2007. I am now 202 (think that’s about 16%). There’s just no way I am willing to stay at this weight forever. But I also am not willing to starve myself or spend 2-3hrs a day at the gym just to get rid of the remaining 60lbs.
If it takes me another 2years to get to my goal weight, I will be happy.
Last year, my weight started to creep back up. My father got very ill. I am presiding over two nonprofit boards — presiding, as in I am the CEO. I have a very demanding full time job.
It became impossible for me to do the 1/1.5 hour daily workouts that, after losing 40 pounds, were just MAINTAINING my weight. As soon as I slacked off — because I was depressed, because it was 11 p.m. and I was just now walking in the door, because I am physically exhausted — the weight started to come back without dietary changes. Well, I got pissed and stopped dieting, stopped “journaling” my food. Here I am. Trying like hell not to beat myself up everyday for having to shop at Lane Bryant again.
The thought of rejoining WW and getting up at 4 a.m. for 1 hour of exercise only make me feel more like a failure, and more exhausted. Mental health HAS to count. It has to.
So sooner or later, it all just becomes a burden–a lifestyle that isn’t offering any enjoyment. I am, paradoxically, spending so much time on me that I don’t have any time for…me.
I sacrifice my spirit for the maintenance of my body, and I start to feel stressed, pushed, over-burdened. I get depressed. And then–I start binging. And here we go again.
I understand what you’re saying. And yet… there’s no point in being fit unless you can enjoy it. What about doing fitness-type things that nurture – rather than sacrifice – your spirit? Like hiking? Or yoga?
I have a very stressful job and find that a sweat-through-your-pants cardio session is just the thing to release some feel-good endorphins and get rid of stress. I’ve recently taken up boxing and kickboxing and enjoy that too. If I’m mad at someone I imagine I’m kicking them in the head – LOL!
I’m a pretty uncoordinated and clumsy person (though not nearly as uncoordinated and clumsy as I used to be) so I take a great deal of pleasure in setting myself physical challenges and meeting them. Last weekend, I did my first outdoor climb, climbing up a 120 metre granite cliff. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but now I can see the areas of my training I need to focus on, so I’m training for my next climb.
I know I’ll never get a black belt, or be a super-advanced climber so I just plod along at my own pace.
I hope I’m not coming across as all preachy, but my point is that you have to find some enjoyment from your workouts, otherwise they become too much of a chore.
Susan–
I get what you are saying, and I don’t think you are being preachy, but I have to tell you that I really, really, hate exercise. I wish I could get more out of it than the physical improvement, but I just don’t. It’s mind-mumbingly boring and physically painful to me.
I have only found one thing, in 44 years, that is physically taxing AND enjoyable, and that is swimming. Which I love–enough so to have my own pool. Unfortunately, I live in an area where there are no indoor facilities available, so I really only get to do it in the summer, or when traveling. (I also walk my dog, but more for his sake than my own.)
Cindy,
I think I can relate to your dilemma. I lost 75lbs and kept it off for 4 years, but I was involved with kung fu which was 3 hours long 3 times a week and I exercised on the days I didn’t have class also. 3 years ago I moved and started nursing school, which takes up an abundant amount of time. Plus I am working in a very large emergency department and trying to survive on part time pay. Needless to say any sort of regular exercise routine went out the window real fast, and I have been lucky to go walking once every couple weeks. In the last 2 years I’ve gained back ALL of the weight I lost, which is making me feel even more stressed.
I was suppose to graduate from school last semester, but due to funds I was not able to and therefore only took half a load of classes instead of a full load. I was devastated by this because I really wanted to be finished, but in the long run it has helped me a great deal. I have had so much stuff to do over the last two and a half years that I had not really had the time to stop and see how much the stress was really effecting me. I am generally a happy go lucky kind of person, pretty laid back, and relaxed. But I have noticed that over the last two years I have become emotional, depressed, and just have had a poor attitude in general. (actually I didn’t notice this my family and friends did, but I did not believe them until my lack of funds forced me to slow down)
I still don’t have enough time in my schedule to exercise like I need to for me to get this weight off, but at least now I feel like I have time to make up a plan to start. I graduate in a few weeks and will have even more time to concentrate on getting into shape.
I guess the reason I’m telling you all this is to let you know that it is okay to give yourself permission to give up some of the responsibilities you have. I’m not saying drop them right now, but you do need to make up a plan on what responsibilities you want to give up and have a set deadline as to when you will no longer do them. For some reason (and I think it is mostly do to TV) our society thinks that quality people should be able to have 2 jobs, take care of their family life, be an officer of 5 committees, and still have time to have a full social life and exercise. If there are people you know who do that and seem fine, please know it is a lie. Either they are miserable, paying someone to help them, or have a spouse that doesn’t have a job.
Now I bet you are sitting there thinking. Well it would be nice if I could give up some of this but … Or I can’t give up this because…. These would be my exact statements when family would suggest to me that I needed to let some of my responsibilities go before I couldn’t afford school. I hope you realize that you can sooner than I did. Your weight gain is not the only thing at stake. It is your health. You need to be able to relax, and you need to be able to go exercise and not feel rushed about doing it. You are not a failure, irresponsible, a slacker, or lazy if you give up some of the stuff you are doing for others to take better care of your self.
So sooner or later, it all just becomes a burden–a lifestyle that isn’t offering any enjoyment. I am, paradoxically, spending so much time on me that I don’t have any time for…me.
I sacrifice my spirit for the maintenance of my body, and I start to feel stressed, pushed, over-burdened. I get depressed. And then–I start binging. And here we go again.
——————————————————
I hear you! This is sooooo true, but as a graduating nurse, (yay! :)) I must tell you that you really do need to find something that you like to do 3 times a week for about 1 to 1/2 hours a time.
Exercise is so so so so important. I totally understand the part about having to exercise 4 hours a day every day of the week to remain thin deprives you of an actual life. So you get thin but you really can’t enjoy it because you have to spend all your time maintaining it.
I am totally suggesting that you NOT do that. If you exercise 3 times a week for an hour or 1 1/2 hours and your BMI does not fall with in the expected range don’t worry about it. In school we are told that being overweight is the greatest risk factor for just about every disease out there. I personally don’t believe that is true. I believe that people can eat well (decreasing their saturated fat, and purified sugar intake-notice I did not say never eat it again) and exercise (a normal amount-not 2-4 hrs a day) and still be overweight, but healthy. In fact someday I would like to do a study on that and prove it so that I can shove it in my teachers’ and doctors’ faces.
I don’t like regular exercise either, so maybe you can join some of this stuff together. Like get on meetup.com and join a hiking group so you can socialize and exercise. My thing is martial arts, but maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to dance? Yeah I know there is always that issue that you are the largest person in the class. My first few weeks of martial arts was very weird, and people weren’t overly friendly but I kind just had to keep saying in my head “screw these people and what they think of my size, they can kick my ass but I’ve got so much padding it won’t hurt me, if I land on them they’re a gonner.” It didn’t take to long before I was just part of the group and someone they were happy to see. I’m not even saying that you need to be involved in something so strenuous that your shirt is soaked every time you do it, but PLEASE find time to get up and move around 3 times a week!!!! While I’m on the subject, please do 5-10 jumping jacks 3 times a week too, it will help you from loosing bone density in your hips. In fact weight bearing exercise keeps you from getting osteoporosis. And eat your calcium! Okay I’m for real done now.:)
(I posted this on my blog today. I’m pasting it here because it so goes with this conversation, and I suck at summarizing.)
It was a lovely day. The sun was out, but the air was cool. Almost to my home, I heard a story on NPR that brought up one good thing about rising gas prices; one man said that instead of getting in the car to drive two blocks (TWO BLOCKS??!!!) to the grocery store, he now walks.
Great idea, I thought to myself. Instead of asking my husband to bring down the tickets to the chicken barbecue at my elementary school so I can pick it up when I get home, I’ll ride my bike to the school instead. It’s only just down the road, which is fairly flat. It shouldn’t be a problem.
To be honest, it really wasn’t a problem. I did get off and walk a few times (to get through crazy intersections and once when I didn’t think I could make it up an incline before I’d have to cross against traffic), but overall, I did well. When I got home though, I called my husband to come down and put my bike away because I was so shaky, I couldn’t really walk. It took all my willpower to climb the stairs to our apartment.
I checked tonight after Bible study. I traveled 3.4 miles. Pretty good for someone who has only ridden her bike twice in the last month and hadn’t ridden for several years before that. Pretty good, too, for someone who weighs 350+ pounds.
The trip, though, was marred by two incidents. Since I had to cross a highway overpass after climbing a fairly steep hill (for my level of riding, anyway), I decided to walk my bike. As I dismounted in a nearby parking lot and started walking, several young guys in an SUV chose to comment on my appearance/walking my bike with rude noises and gestures. Then, on the return trip, I was preparing to turn onto my street, which necessitated moving into the turning lane on the left. I signaled well in advance, checked to make sure I wasn’t going to get run over, then moved into the lane and safely made the turn. As I finished turning, a guy yelled out the window of a car going past behind me.
“…illegal… cover your fat ass!” with the ellipses representing the words I couldn’t make out because of the Doppler effect.
To that gentleman (a term which I use very broadly in his case), I had this to say had he actually stuck around for a conversation:
“I’m sorry my presence has offended you. I neglected to consider that your sensitive eyes might happen upon my large body in motion. I do believe I will cease any attempts to exercise so you do not need to fear seeing such things as you saw today. Of course, that means I shall always remain an offensive size, which you seem to despise.”
In other words, DUH!! I mean, come on! A fat girl getting some exercise so she maybe won’t be as fat as she is now. You should be applauding her, not ridiculing her!
It’s just another reason that society is messed up. Society wants people to be thin, but they won’t provide safe, accepting places/areas for fat people to exercise.
Argh!
I mentioned to a good friend, who is also large, recently that I had to get over (and still have to struggle with) the whole issue of exercising in a big body in public. It’s probably why I like video workouts. The kind of incidents you speak of, Rhonwyyn, are the ones that I’m afraid will happen (even when they don’t).
Rhonwynn – I’m so sorry you had that experience. Why do people (usually men) have to be such jackasses? Urgh!
I mentioned upthread that I’m fairly clumsy and uncoordinated, and I never learnt to ride a bike as a child, so there’s no way I’d want to ride a bike and negotiate traffic (although I admire people who do). But the other aspect that puts me off riding a bike is the kind of jackass who thinks it’s funny to startle female bike riders and try to run them off the road. And you don’t need to be fat – some men will harass you just because you’re a woman.
That’s why I bought a spinning bike. At least I’m safe in my own spare room!
I shared my tale on another forum. I liked this comment:
“A possible come back ‘I’m ready for the next Famine, how about you?'”
That cracked me up, mostly because it’s something I’d actually say! :D
Rhonwyyn, my dad has a saying about people like the ones who called you names. The saying is, “There’s nothing worse you can do to people like them, then let them remain as they are.”
Imagine having to be so emotionally corrupted that you have to go out of your way to find someone to hurt? If anything, that kind of life is something to pity not to hate. It’s hard to see that now, but if you think about what kind of childhood leads up to people who need to hate others like an addict, it’s usually very tragic.
You should be glad that you are strong enough to be able to accept yourself, without having to take others down. There are so many people in this world who don’t have that, and end up alone, cause nobody wants to be around a hater. I guess, except for another hater. You know, they say misery loves company.
I big (huge even) and my fitness level was (and to a point still is) so low that when my kids get bigger I will jave a hard time fulfilling requests like a quick game of football. What’s more I work from home at the PC so I rarely ever move.
For ages I made excuses and said that I was happy with myself and stick it. The thing that upset me first was that on the rare times I went out I could no longer get the kind of clothes I liked in my size (vast).
So I accepted that I was big but refused to diet because I have seen dieting make someone unhappy and hung up about food for 20 years without any real change. It sounded like hell.
I would sound off about maybe doing some excersise and one day after stepping out in trainers (not my style at all) a friend challenged me by saying he would join me.
We went “running” the next week. Well I say running it was more like two lardy blokes puffing and wheezing around a tiny park. Four to five times a week for a month and I hated every moment of it. Then one day we realised that we could do the run easily and in fact it was no longer a big deal.
We went on, via set backs (like my health) to buy push bikes and run further (about a mile). I still hate it and need my friend and my wife to push me into it and I moan and gasp and wonder what in the world I am thinking. After I feel quite good and when I find my favourite cloths starting to fit again and when I find I can run with my children (for a short while) it makes it all seem worthwhile.
But I am (a) lazy and (b) unlikely to be anything other than a really large bloke. My target size is “oversize” and my target weight is “slightly obese”. When I get to that size 85% to 90% of my current size and any one cares to be critical I will have plenty to say.
I’m doing what I don’t like now so that I will be able to do “active things” and enjoy them. Also I significantly increase the age I am likely to live to.
I hear you, Matt, about wanting to get in better shape for your children. That’s a big reason for my attempting to be more active. I have two years to lose about 75 pounds so being pregnant and taking care of children will be easier than it is now. I know I’m never going to be skinny, and that’s okay. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to. However, I would like to be able to be pregnant and not be incapacitated. And toddlers are fast!! I’ll need to be fast to keep up!
I consider myself part of the size acceptance movement.
I have lost 50 pounds/3 dress sizes since October and plan to keep going. No, I don’t want to starve myself down to a size 4, even if my body COULD do that. I’ll always have big boobs. I’ll probably always have a tummy or at least some skin where my tummy was. My thighs will always rub together at the top.
I don’t feel good when I’m really fat. Part of it is self-esteem which, yes, I could work on until I felt fine, but a LOT of it is physical. When I lived in Georgia, it was irritating that the heat got to me before everyone else. When I moved to New York City it was horrible to constantly feel out of breath when I walked around, especially when I tried to walk as fast as everyone else.
I was here about 3 months before I started losing weight and taking care of myself. And once I did, I felt an almost immediate change. I don’t get winded on the stairs coming out of the subway. I can walk as fast as most people without huffing and puffing. I’m sure when it gets hot again I’ll be able to tolerate it better than last year.
And yeah, it feels good to be able to buy clothes in some “normal” size stores (I wear an 18 now, so not all stores carry it, but a lot do) and not HAVE to shop at Lane Bryant. And people are nicer to me. Especially the employees in (most) stores. I’m not going to pretend that being in better shape is the only plus. I know a lot of people won’t like my saying that, but I think it would be a disrespect to you all to pretend that doesn’t happen.
I was a swimmer in high school. Without watching my diet too closely, I was the smallest and healthiest I have been in my adult years (and by smallest I mean I was a size 14/16 or so). Since I don’t have 12-18 hours to spend working out every week (who does? Unless you’re on a team like I was and it’s pretty much your world), I have to work harder with my diet. I don’t have access to a pool, but there’s a gym in my building, so I started running.
I don’t feel I’m a threat to size acceptance. I chose to lose weight, but I would never judge someone for remaining the way they are if they’re happy and healthy. I do think people should eat a healthy diet and exercise at least a few times a week. Outside of that, I say let your body do what it does naturally. I find it unacceptable for people to judge me for losing weight, and I wouldn’t judge someone for being happy the way they are.
Good for you, Liza. Just like smaller people assume fat people gain weight because they’re lazy and eat junk food, we fat people need to make sure that we don’t assume fat people who try to lose weight are doing it just because they’ve bought into the media’s ideal. (How’s that for a long sentence?! :-P )
Thank you, Liza, for posting that. I think one of the threats to FA is that as much as we bemoan the assumptions that society puts on fat people — that fat people are unhealthy, don’t exercise, eat junk, etc — I also have seen a lot of assumptions that those who have lost weight must be starving themselves and/or have no stress in their lives. Which is also a judgement that’s not necessarily accurate.
I think that when we focus on personal choice we’ll get a lot further with body acceptance in general. You want to exercise 4 hours a day? Great. Have fun and congratulations on having way more energy than I do. You don’t have time for that, and/or would prefer to read Jane Austen during those same 4 hours? Rock on with your bad self — I’ll buy you a beer and debate which movie version of Pride and Prejudice sucks less for hours on end. At the end of the day, either option is none of my damn business as long as it makes you happy, you know?
I guess I feel like I’ve fallen in between the cracks of the FA movement and don’t really fit anywhere, and it kind of pisses me off. I’ve lost about 60 lbs, and have kept it off for a year or more so far, despite some pretty shitty stuff happening in my life. At the same time, I’m not thin, either, and am not striving to fit some magazine ideal. A lot of people would look at me and think I could drop another whatever number of pounds, and they can honestly fuck all the way off. I’m just trying to be as healthy and happy as possible, trying to make choices that are right for me and make me feel good.
Sorry if this is too ranty, mo — I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and a crappy day at work, so maybe I’m feeling oversensitive in general. If so, my apologies.
Oh, thank god, I’m glad I’m not the only one here. I am always a little nervous talking weight loss on FA forums because you never know how people will react.
It bugs me when people assume the only reason for losing weight is beauty standards or conformity or whatever. If that were the case I’d be intending to get into a size 6 instead of a 10 or 12 (what I’ve set as a realistic goal). But it wouldn’t matter what size I was, I’d still be into FA and still have a lifetime as a fat girl that has shaped who I am as a person.
Also, I’ve been dieting through the center for medical weight loss, which means that I see my doctor for all weight loss-related things.
What threatens FA is not weight loss, it’s stereotypes and assumptions. In all directions. Jumping to conclusions about people who lose weight is just as bad as jumping to conclusions about fat people.
Bottom line, if you’re happy with yourself, by all means don’t change a thing about yourself. But don’t judge someone else for changing what it is they don’t like about themselves.
:)
I’ve lost about 20-25% or my body weight in the past year, & plan to lose just a bit more before “maintaining” so this is something I’m pretty interested in. I’m just gonna answer the questions.
What do you think of the list?
Well, I think the list is a great resource for anyone who is trying to live as healthy and balanced lives as possible. It makes sense – these habits are specifically the ones that have changed for me over the past year (not all for weight loss or health reasons, either – some just circumstantial) and that have benefitted me (in more ways than simply helping me to lose weight).
How closely does it correlate with your own habits, and does this mean you should be thinner or heavier than you are?
Pretty closely, however, A. I’m still working on eating MORE fruits and veggies, right now I’m up to about 4 a day, B. I stopped eating at fast food places more than a year ago, for nutritional AND financial reasons, C. I’m not really into the pre-packaged meals anymore, they don’t satisfy my appetite and I just prefer to cook my own food (and anyway I don’t have a microwave).
The rest of the things are all “old hat” to me by now – portion control, moderating fat, exercise, and less screen time – however, I must note that the exercise & screen time are more products of circumstances and my lifestyle preferences for overall well-being than because I’m trying to lose weight. I live in an area/situation where I have to do a LOT of walking every day (NYC, no car) and we don’t have a TV or internet at home because we’re simply happier without them.
For me personally, I’m hoping that following this list will help me remain healthy and happy and maintain my own personal ideal weight. At the moment, I also monitor my calorie intake and keep that at a “slow weight-loss” level, but once I get to my ideal weight, I’ll have to learn how to regulate that level for maintenance.
Speaking of ‘regulation,’ I believe that my society “serves up” a lot of unhealthy things – heaping plates of food in restaurants, unhealthy things on TV, gobs of unhelpful “self-help” books and products, etc., and we each have to keep our own vigil and watch what we allow ourselves to take in and how it affects us.
Is the idea that some people can lose weight threatening to the body acceptance movement, or to you personally?
I don’t know if this question applies to me, considering that I’m one of the ones who’ve lost weight (and know I can keep it off, too). Does the idea that I’ve been able to lose weight simply because I took on a bunch of healthy habits and STOPPED doing things that I knew to be unhealthy threaten other people? I dunno. You tell me.
Even if it’s only a small subset of people? And if so, why?
Apparently I’m going to become a “subset” now. But I would like to hear from people who follow these types of “healthy” guidelines but remain fat. I don’t think I could have remained fat by doing these things, but I guess there are people out there who can do it.