A Fate Worse Than Fat
And now for the bad news. I’m posting a link to this article not to bring down the room, but to get the message out there yet again: demonizing fat and fat people is a BAD IDEA that can seriously skew our ideas about self-worth. Just ask the women who participated in the studies discussed here, who would rather be stupid, go to jail, lose limbs, or go blind than be fat.
Forty-two percent of girls ages 13-17 and 27 percent of women ages 35-49 answered they would rather be thin and stupid than overweight and smart.
Another group of women who had previously been obese and lost weight were asked if they would prefer to be obese again or to go blind. Alarmingly, 89 percent stated they would rather be blind than gain back the weight they had lost, and 91 percent of this group said they would rather lose a limb than be heavy again…
The article also talks about the disparity in pay between the fat and the thin, and the way that physicians view obese people as “lazy” and “noncompliant,” the way children shun fat kids, etc. etc. You know, all the stuff that explains why we’d rather go blind than be fat. Not you guys, though, right? Because obviously, if you went blind, how could you read this blog?! Now there’s a fate worse than fat.
(I know. But shh.)
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Advocacy, Fatism, Feminism, Health, Kids, Media, Science, Weight Loss
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Thanks for the story link. It’s articles like this that help to explain why I incorporate the idea of fat rights in with eating disorder awareness and education.
So they’d rather be blind, lame and stupid than fat? How about DEAD?
My loathing for size-ism has reached critical mass. Last month, a dear, kind, smart and funny woman I’d known for over 40 years starved to death. She was once a 5’2″, 255-lb. bundle of energy and vigor. Once she got into weight-loss surgery and dropped nearly 150 lbs., her health went down the drain and, what’s worse, so did her mind. She became anorexic, physically unable to eat, to swallow, any solid food unless other people were present to encourage her. She never connected with a therapist who could help her, and 3 weeks ago she died. Was she thin? You bet! Healthy? You’ve GOT to be kidding! She’d died the classic anorexic death: starved for so long that her organs began to shut down and by the time she was admitted to the hospital nothing could be done to save her…BUT SHE WAS THIN!
The lady in question had become something of a public figure in the last couple of years and her obituaries listed the COD as “unknown” or “post-operative”. No one wanted to say, “Hey – look what happened to a vital, go-getter of a plus-sized woman!”
P.S. This lady was a very successful businesswoman for over 40 years, earning as much as anyone in her field. She was a mother and grandmother and a tireless worker for various charities. No matter what size it is, the cream will always rise to the top.
Those ladies who blithely state that they’d rather be blind, limbless or SO not smarter than a 5th grader really ought to re-think their priorities.
So they’d rather be blind, lame and stupid than fat? How about DEAD?
My loathing for size-ism has reached critical mass. Last month, a dear, kind, smart and funny woman I’d known for over 40 years starved to death. She was once a 5’2″, 255-lb. bundle of energy and vigor. Once she got into weight-loss surgery and dropped nearly 150 lbs., her health went down the drain and, what’s worse, so did her mind. She became anorexic, physically unable to eat, to swallow, any solid food unless other people were present to encourage her. She never connected with a therapist who could help her, and 3 weeks ago she died. Was she thin? You bet! Healthy? You’ve GOT to be kidding! She’d died the classic anorexic death: starved for so long that her organs began to shut down and by the time she was admitted to the hospital nothing could be done to save her…BUT SHE WAS THIN!
The lady in question had become something of a public figure in the last couple of years and her obituaries listed the COD as “unknown” or “post-operative”. No one wanted to say, “Hey – look what happened to a vital, go-getter of a plus-sized woman!”
P.S. This lady was a very successful businesswoman for over 40 years, earning as much as anyone in her field. She was a mother and grandmother and a tireless worker for various charities. No matter what size it is, the cream will always rise to the top.
Those ladies who blithely state that they’d rather be blind, limbless or SO not smarter than a 5th grader really ought to re-think their priorities. Be VERY careful what you wish for, ladies, because – God forbid! – you just might get it.
If I wasn’t so tired and in end-of-semester survival mode, I would just go into a tirade. This is saddening beyond words.
This may or may not be off topic, but a few minutes ago I was listening to “Big, Blonde and Beautiful” from the Hairspray movie soundtrack, and there’s a line where Queen Latifah sings “There is nothing ’bout us that’s unsuitable.” That really reasonated with me, I was like “Right the frick on! There is nothing wrong with my fat!” I just want to tell those people that there’s nothing wrong with the way I look and they have no right to demonize it.
I can hear Colbert’s voice saying “So? Everyone knows looking good means you ARE good! Especially for ladies.”
iflurry, thank you for that. It totally made me laugh and I needed that after that article!
Unfortunately, I was just forcibly reminded of Rush Limbaugh saying: “Hey, I like the feminist movement. Especially if I’m walking behind it.”
Euw.
All this tells me is that 42% of 13-17 yr olds and 27% of 35-49 yr olds already have the stupid part down.
*curse word* *curse word* *curse word*
I’m going to push down my angry vomit for a moment and just think beyond how upset this makes me.
I wonder if you asked these same gals about specific things if they would have the same answer.
“would you rather have acne or go blind?”
“would you rather have a face covering birth mark or go blind?”
“would you rather have thin, falling out hair or go blind?”
I feel like you’d get the same response.
I feel like although this does say something alarming about societies views on how important “beauty” is, I dont think it’s really so much a statement about fat. This particular study asked them about fatness but it could be asking them anything.
My only basis for this opinion is that my size 6 roommate who is in pretty good shape cannot control herself from commenting on how lovely my skin is (it really is, thank you ancestors!) because all growing up she looked like a freakin skeleton because her thick ass make up used to cover her acne washed her out. It’s sad because I think she’s a gorgeous girl. she thinks I’m absolutely beautiful because my skin is clear, with no comment whatsoever on my weight.
the bottom line to me is that we’d rather sacrifice a sense that woudl make our life more difficult (not necessarily horrible, just more challenging and I say this from having a completely blind grandfather my whole life) just to be percieved by other people (WHO DONT MATTER ANYWAY) as “beautiful”.
I want.
to weep.
I posted over on my blog yesterday about that, and my best friend, who I shared the article with before I blogged about it said,
“You know what’s really scary? How much the things people said about their ‘obese’ coworkers sounded EXACTLY like things people said (and, frighteningly still do say) about black people until it was made illegal.”
I had thought the same thing. It’s frighteningly familiar. And it made me mad.
P.S. I’m doing a documentary project talking back to the word Fat, and I went out on the street yesterday and asked people if I were fat. The answers were INSANELY interesting.
Should be posting about that later today…
What makes this even sadder is that people think it is the worst thing in the world to go blind. Not only is it not the worst thing in the world, but it is not even bad. The most difficult thing about being disabled is the way you are treated by the society we live in, not actually being disabled. Blind people are not worse or better than sighted people, they are just different. And their lives are not an everyday struggle, like many sighted people think. They live their lives just like anyone else, but they do things differently. It is not like being blind is bad and being fat is not. The only reason why it would be difficult to be blind or fat is because of ableism and fatism. There is nothing wrong with being blind and there is nothing wrong with being fat.
lactose intolerant lisa> I’ve noted that about surveys like these, and also articles that try to scare people into losing weight because they’ll supposedly end up disabled or diabetic or (other chronic illness). A disability or illness is not some horrible, terrifying situation that’s the worst thing in the world. However, the fact that rather a lot of people think those are among the worst things that could happen to you and yet place being fat as even worse is heartbreakingly telling.
I try not to blame the individuals, especially women, though. I blame the patriarchy. A society that values arbitrary physical attractiveness over life and health and punishes (mostly) women for not conforming, and mocks their “vanity” if they do? That’s one sick society.
Holy Toledo.
Thank you for the article. I’m so grateful that my 15-year-old sister who has a very curvy body does not have that mindset. Actually none of the women in my family do. I am so thankful to have been surrounded by people who did not judge me on my weight and did not think the way these women do. If this is the message that these girls 13-17 and women 35-49 are getting…what the heck has happened to us as a society? Why are we so obsessed with unachievable goals? That poll/survey/whatever also rubbed me the wrong way by asking these women would they rather lose a limb or be blind…what the heck? It’s enough that people with any kind of disability are gawked at and ridiculed. >_<
And someone else mentioned how what the people were saying about fat people sounded like what they used to say about black people and still do say. I found that to be right on.
It’s ashame really. As a fat feminist the patriarchy needs to kiss my fat black ass and leave us alone. Stop shaming us women and start valuing our intellect over our bodies. Stop forcing these obscene norms upon us. Yes, we want to be healthy but we don’t want to foster a society of people with eating disorders. Sometimes living on a deserted island seems so attractive.
Wow. I was just talking to a friend about this a few hours ago!
I come from the Valley of the Silicon People (better known as Los Angeles), and the beauty standards in parts of this town are completely out – of – control!
I go into Hollywood alot to see bands, and sometimes I think I’m just gonna explode if I see one more girl with a $200 haircut and $200 jeans who looks like she hasn’t had a decent meal since she was nine years old. No really. I see bones! But here’s what bothers me more than that: the vacant eyes and the vacuous “conversation” (in quotes because it barely qualifies). And here’s what bothers me EVEN MORE : men EAT IT UP! Certainly not all men but more than just a few.
The problem, as my friend and I see it, is that so many women receive positive reinforcement for being stick-thin and mentally “uncomplicated” (as I like to say).
Thin and bumb? Dates-a-plenty for you! Smart with a healthy appetite? Saturday nights alone for you.
(And, sadly, that goes for both sexes)
It’s pretty F’ed up. And I’m not just man bashing (I love men dearly) or LA bashing (born and raised here), but, JEEZ, something’s gotta change!
They would rather be thin and stupid than fat and smart? I think they already have the thin and stupid part covered…
Personally I am much happier being fat and smart…
I feel a need to make the point that I actually despise polls such as this because they present people with a choice they will never have to make. A few years ago, it was “would you rather gain 100 pounds or be run over by a truck” and evidently a “surprising” number of women picked the truck. It was a stupid question. Personally, I’d rather do neither and fortunately, I don’t have to make that choice. I understand they’re trying to make a point: that people fear being fat as if it’s one of the most terrible things in the world. But I think we all know that now. Instead of spending time asking people stupid questions, why don’t these researchers (or whatever they are) spend time finding ways to promote acceptance and fight fat stereotypes? Maybe because that’s more difficult than asking people stupid questions that prove a point we already know is true?
La di Da, I completely agree. That was exactly my point: it is so sad that women would rather endure what they consider to be “a terrible fate” than be fat, and doubly sad that what they consider “a terrible fate” is disability.
I also think blaming individuals is harmful. Having been raised in an unhealthy system, it is not anyone’s fault for being unhealthy. It is so important to separate being from behavior; an action can be harmful and bad, but it does not mean that the person doing the action is a bad person.
Well I don’t know, I don’t think I’m any better or worse than someone who has lost a limb, but I still wouldn’t want my arm cut off. Am I really being ableist if I say I’d rather be able to see than not?
For me, at least, it has a lot more to do with how society at large treats disability than how individual people do.
So, for example, I’m viewed as a saint for “putting up” with my husband’s disability, and how difficult it must be for me and woe and drama. Or, alternately, I’m viewed as an evil woman who doesn’t give up all of her life to take care of him.
When a new person comes into my life to say “Gosh, I don’t think I could handle a disabled spouse” (he was disabled when I met him – he has a genetic illness), I find I want to scream. They haven’t said anything particularly wrong in and of itself, but every day I get more of this stuff put in my face. People don’t think they’re doing anything wrong because they’re not thinking at all – they’re just reacting.
When people will say things like “I’d *never* get an abortion, that’s just wrong – unless I found out the kid was disabled. Then I would, because I couldn’t handle the idea of my child being teased the way disabled people are“, I really want to throw up my hands and give up on society and go live in the woods under a rock. My husband can come with me, and we’ll jut find fruits and berry and herbs to keep him functional! That’s gotta be better than this.
So, framing things as “Would you rather be obese or disabled” – both things apparently being Horrible Fates – it sounds ablist because of the constant push of society that being disabled is a tragedy, and supporting disabled people is something that’s just too hard to do.
Aah, I see what you’re saying. Actually, I kind of had that reaction to the part of the article about kids. It says:
The implication there was that clearly, in an ideal world, the children would rank the disfigured child, the child in the wheelchair, and the child with an amputated limb as “worse” playmates than the fat child. Which is offensive in and of itself. Not to mention, I think if I were a little kid, I’d think the wheelchair kid was potentially the most fun. Because: wheels!
Mo Pie, it is not ableist if you say you’d rather be able to see than not. It’s not wrong to like the way you are, and not want to change. Feelings are never wrong. However, it is ableist when people say that they would not like to be blind based on the assumption that it is difficult or impossible for blind people to live full, happy lives.
Of course it is difficult to go through the transition from being sighted to blind, or from having all limbs to having less, or from not having a chronic disease to having one. It is a GIANT change, and it is a loss. However, it is not the transition from a desirable state to an undesirable state, only from one way of being to another way of being.
And thanks for your second comment. I totally agree. :)
Anna, I thank you for your comment. I really relate, and I think you explained things really well. Disability truly is a systemic problem.
UNBELIEVABLE!
It saddens me EVERY TIME I come across something like this!
I have worked in the beauty industry 15+ years and I was just telling My Mom the other day that I have actually had WOMEN PASS OUT or faint because I KNOW they haven’t eaten! I get them a glass of water…or once called 911 (in a public establishment) My favorite is when they ask for a “cracker” or something to eat!!!
It’s TERRIBLE HOW SOCIETY as a WHOLE thinks!
…and as the person above stated, I TOO am in Los Angeles where the reality of what is “attractive” is RIDICULOUSLY TOO THIN!
The more popular these actresses become the THINNER they get and I just want to FEED them something!
I have my own struggles with “body image” and I know it’s ALL IN MY HEAD so I realize how difficult the younger generation must have it to ONLY KNOW the bombardment of “movies, pop stars, magazines, video games” ALL cramming the ” feminine ideal” on to them. You can’t turn on the t.v or walk out the door and look at a sign off the street or freeway and NOT see all these images!
We have a lot of work to do ladies to try and change societies images to help our or young girls be HEALTHY and Happy!
…so HOPEFULLY we can change polls like this one!
Really shamefully a sad commentary on our current state.
what an amazing article
Forty-two percent of girls ages 13-17 and 27 percent of women ages 35-49 answered they would rather be thin and stupid than overweight and smart.
I’m having a hard time being angered by this. I *am* overweight and smart, and it sucks moose ass. Every man I’ve ever dated has dumped me and married dumb and thin, and now I’m old and live with a cat. My family ignores me because I didn’t get married and have children; I haven’t had any women friends since my early 20s because married women have “better things to do” than hang out with fat single women. Most days I’m OK, but many days I’m so fucking lonely I could die.
I can’t fault anyone for not preferring my life, I just can’t. The poll respondents are making a valid and logical response to reality.
The site you linked to about how disabled people acess the internet was fascinating. I thought there would be no way for blind people to acess the net. Also, I noticed there’s a program on the Sidekick phone, you can download for free that helps deaf users.
I think as long as there has been society, there has always been a need for certain people to have a group to hate. Wether it be the handicapped, ethnic people, fat people, whatever.
I had an experience at Disneyworld. My mom and I took an EVC around. You wouldn’t belive the type of crap they expect EVC users to put up with! They expect you to navigate the same lines people use, and make the hairpin line turns without smashing the EVC into a line bar. I tell you, I have played video games since I was 6 years old, and I could barely do it. I can’t imagine someone without good eye-hand cordinnation being able to manage.
The cast members, were rude. I mean, they treated me and my mom, like we were there for their personal entertainment. Like we were lesser then them, so they could basically manipulate us like trained circus animals. I expect some staring and that kind of nonsense from other people, but people who work at the park?! You would think they’d be more profefssional!
You bet I sent Disney a looonnggg e-mail complaining about the treatment. Mostly stating how you can’t tell if someone is disabled by merely looking at them. As well that there shouldn’t be discrimination towards fat people needing to use the EVC. Apperantly there’s this hate crusade against “fakers”, as in non-handicapped people, using the EVCs. I think it’s beyond reprehensible that this discrimination exsists in Disneyworld.
I’m saying that on that day I learned alot about hate. I thought that everyone would be decent to people who are disabled, it was the total opposite. I felt like, I’m never going to complain about my situation again, given the crap disabled people have to put up with every day.
As well as fat people, have you ever seen someone have heat sickness, cause some idiot thinks that it’s better for the fatty to walk off the weight around the park? It’s miserable. I was thinking perhaps people who live in the Orlando area should give Disneyworld a peice of their mind personally. Everyone else can send e-mails. It’s just beyond me, ruining someone’s vacation like that.
So what I’m getting at, with that rant, is that it seems there’s a need for some people to have someone they can be better than. I admit at times I’ve fallen towards that way of thinking. However, I realize the more that I live, how little I have to put up with from people. How lucky I am to be in a situation where I’m mostly safe from hateful behaviour from others.
“…Alarmingly, 89 percent stated they would rather be blind than gain back the weight they had lost…”
That’s too bad, considering the majority of them will.
It’s sad but a fact of life. I used to be like that. At times I even used to think ‘I’d rather be dead than fat’.