10 Ways To Be A Body Positivity Advocate
1. Be yourself. Whatever size, color, religion, gender, race, or sexual orientation. Don’t make apologies for yourself. Believe in the righteousness of your cause. Believe that hate helps nobody.
2. Understand that you’re beautiful. Understand that people who criticize your body or my body or Kelly Clarkson’s body can’t take that away from you. Understand that a lot of people are hateful morons, and they don’t reflect on you, and they shouldn’t affect you.
3. Let go of fear. Don’t let fear keep you from living your life the way you want to. Don’t be afraid to put on spandex and go to the gym. Don’t be afraid to order the cheesecake. Don’t be afraid to use the word fat. Boo during the trailer for that disgusting Dane Cook movie. Don’t be silent. Don’t allow yourself to be marginalized.
4. Challenge fatphobic (and thinphobic) statements when you see them. Don’t be afraid to speak up.
5. Read blogs, leave comments, join the community. It’s not a monolithic wall of agreement. There’s plenty of room for debate and conversation.
6. Bring body positivity and size acceptance issues into your communities. Science fiction, LGBT, yoga. Whatever you can think of.
7. Link to your favorite body positivity blogs, maybe in unexpected places or in the middle of unexpected conversations–spread the word.
8. Brainstorm different ways to be an advocate. The dressing room project? Fat hate bingo? The fat rant? All of these began with individuals who are helping make things happen.
9. Create body-positive art. Be a performer, a dancer, a cheerleader, a magnet maker, a photographer, a model, a poet, a painter, a T-shirt designer, a songwriter, a novelist.
10. Have more to say or a unique perspective? Submit a guest post to a blog like this one. Or, if you’re very brave, start a blog of your own.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Advocacy, Art, Fat Positive, Meta, Movies
Email us
Yay Mo Pie! Thanks for the inspiring links in inspiring call-to-action form!
Boo that Dane Cook Movie! I finally watched the trailer for the first time, and I think the Unlovable Fat Girl character has my first name! I can’t find her on the IMDB cast list, though. God, I hope that movie tanks. Please, God?
You know what? I’m inspired. So, I officially started my weight loss blog tonight, after always saying I’d never have one (I always enjoyed reading them but for some reason just never jumped on the bandwagon).
So thanks for the kick in the rear.
And really, that Dane Cook movie looked funny, I was thinking “what’s the fuss about again?” and then they drop the boom. “Aw, the big fat chick shoving food in her face and talking about sex made Dane Cook feel pukey. Awwww.”
Christ on a bike, WHAT on earth was that about? I used to kinda like Dane Cook too. Booo!
OMG – I can’t believe the movie trailer! I felt like Thirtini – at first I couldn’t understand what the fuss was about, and then BAM! The scene with the sloppy fat chick. The portrayal is absolutely degrading and disgusting!
I had the same response to the trailer as Thirtini. It just makes you want to kick someone in the balls.
This is a great list.
Just out of curiosity, what’s the proceedure for submitting a guest post?
If you already have something written up, you can e-mail it to me; if you have a pitch, you can e-mail me that too. If there’s enough interest, maybe there can be a weekly guest post or something of that nature. But anyway, feel free to email me and we can chat about it. (Piegirl at gmail dot com.)
And also, yes, the trailer for that mvie is totally disgusting. There’s also a poster with Jessica Alba holding a vanilla ice cream cone and it’s melting and dripping down her hand. I don’t think the double entendre there is unintentional, and I’m insulted by that, too. Gross.
But I don’t have high hopes. Norbit did great, after all, and I was sure that would tank.
“Body positivity?” Um, yeah. But only if it’s applied to fat chicks, right?
I sincerely hope not, which is why I like the term body positivity rather than fat positivity. If I left out important things from the thin perspective, or if I’m being thinnist, believe me, I’m all ears.
Sometimes I get points of view like Melanie’s…like how some size acceptance blogs (Big Fat Blog comes to mind) seem sometimes a bit “thinphobic,” as mo pie puts it in her post. Like, an attitude that only us fatties have a right to love our bodies as they are or something.
But I don’t think mo pie’s post centered only on “fat chicks,” she mentions a couple times that it doesn’t matter what size you are. Whether you weigh 90 pounds or 900 pounds, it’s all just about loving yourself and doing what’s best for you.
Body positivity for the win! We all need to love ourselves. Seriously we do and show the media who’s boss. This post made my day much brighter.
I’m trying to do #6, and all I’ve been getting is: “Stop making excuses for fat people/most fat people just eat too much and don’t excercise enough”, etc., etc. It’s making me want to just crawl into a hole and stop talking to people =/
Let go of fear. Don’t let fear keep you from living your life the way you want to. Don’t be afraid to put on spandex and go to the gym.
Or, as in my very recent experience, afraid to put on a bathing suit and and go swimming at a friend’s party on a really freaking hot day.
I lurk(ed) on 3WA and recall a post Sara Astruc made years back (or was it a reference to her journal?) about going to the beach with some girlfriends and actively deciding not to let body insecurity interfere with her good time. I thought about that as I packed my bathing suit for said party.
Someone mentioned my apprehension (which I’d shared with friends before the event) and I remember feeling very ashamed of my own insecurity (because I should be beyond it, right?): I blew it off as “oh, if anyone wants to make fun of my white legs, whatever,” but, truthfully, my insecurity had more to do with my current weight, shape, tone, cellulite, stretch marks, ugly veins, etc.
I’m glad I got past it, because I had a fabulous time splashing around in the pool. After that first can opener, though, I don’t think I gave any of those insecurities a second thought — I was too busy having fun. Someday, I hope to skip right to the fun, without the need for a preparatory pep talk.
The topic of body positivity and the idea of not being “thin-ist” has me thinking quite a bit. I think that what is hard for me about how it is that we are presented with things in media (films, television, magazines, even books) is that the dichotomy between fat and thin is set up there. And we’re not just talking about normal weight folks. We’re talking thin and fat.
Taking the trailer as an example (and yes this is just one trailer, but I think it speaks volumes representatively), Charlie is a slim/thin man and his friend (sidekick?) is on the chubby side of normal. Who is set up as the guy who gets all the action? It’s the thin, cute guy. And what does his action look like? Thin and attractive women. And they are thin. I love Jessica Alba. I think she’s hot. But she’s also thin, and I have to admit I’d probably think she was hotter if she weren’t quite so thin. The foil to the plot is the fat woman. And she’s not just overweight, she’s clearly on the high end of obesity (please take no offence as I’m up there as well).
We are never allowed to see the middle ground. We never get to see Charlie’s more average weight friend get to date. We don’t get to see the average weight woman be Charlie’s love. It’s a deliberate set-up that we are fed…and it leads to convenient targets of anger – on both sides.
Right on Spinsterwitch- Misogyny is so often about setting up artificial binary oppositions which are difficult or impossible to navigate succesfully.
Most people are at least aware of double-standards and the artificiality of some of the old stand-by binaries, like good girls v. bad girls or fuckable v. marriageable.
But the Thin v. fat divide is still going strong, and this movie uses it in its worse form, as well as other misogynist patterns. I think Wendy’s trailer trashing post captured it perfectly.
Great tips. If everybody followed these examples it would benefit a lot of people.
Wow, what a great, great post!! I will be printing this out and posting it in my bedroom so I can remind myself of these points every day.
I also like what spiderbite said about skipping the anxiety and going right to the fun. I do the same exact thing and hope to go directly to the fun part.
Will be linking to this from my blog too.
Can I have all this on a shirt? :D
Excellent tips especially the one about speaking out. This is something that needs to happen more.
Nice tips. I was wondering if i could translate to brazilian portuguese and adapt to local culture then publish it on http://minisizeus.com. This is a blog i´ve created with my wife where we tell about our weight loss process (started 3 weeks ago) and self-image acceptance.
This is why I love this place.
I am RIGHT now Jamming out with my Ham out because of this post. Srlsy.
This is an awesome list! I’ve added a link for it to my F.A.T. Attitude page (living life fabulous, awesome and tenacious).
“Body positivity?” Um, yeah. But only if it’s applied to fat chicks, right?
****************************************
Melanie, did you READ the first suggestion at all, or were you just looking to fly into a faux rage about something?
PsychoPenguin, thanks for asking, and I’d be honored! If you wouldn’t mind providing a link back to the original, that would be great.
Thanks for the this post. I’m waiting to hear about an internship in NYC this fall, and, although I am much more ok with my size 24 body than I used to be, the thought of going to New York as a large woman scares the hell out of me. So much so, that even if I get this internship, I know I will try to find excuses not to take it, for fear of going to a fat-hostile place.
Several years ago I moved my size 24 body to LA for grad. school, and even though I had met and liked the students and faculty, I was afraid of moving to a place known throughout the world for being obsessed with skinny, youthful beauty.
But a city is far more than the image we see on TV. It’s far from the tolerance-mecca that the Bay area is, but there are plenty of fat folks here doing their thing! They say people don’t walk or ride the bus in LA either, but I do both everyday with a big crowd.
Every time I’ve gone someplace that I feared because of my size (whether it’s to see a band in Hollywood or to visit a European country) I’ve found there were fat people there already. We may not show up in the travel guides or ads, but we’re everywhere! And knowing that puts any fat-hostile attitudes I do run into in better perspective.
People live while fat in NYC just like they do in LA, Copenhagen, Athens, and yes, even Paris!
I watched the trailer for the new Dane Cook movie, and I thought it was pretty funny. Hold on, let me explain.
For one, from what little I saw from it, the movie seems to make fun more of what a tool the main character is than of any of the female characters. Secondly, I’m not sure about everyone else, but I don’t know any women, large or small who eat like that. When I was bigger, I didn’t shovel food in my mouth that way, particularly when I was on a date! My point is this; I thought the trailer was funny, and thinking so doesn’t make me less body positive or size accepting. Yes, the leading woman is thin and yes the best friend is chubby. I can’t/won’t argue either of those points, and I too would like to see the love interest be in the form of a bigger girl. I believe that two gorgeous guys CAN be best friends. However, I don’t want to be told to boycott something just because the majority finds it offensive. In my opinion (again, just my opinion) if we truly love and accept ourselves enough to laugh at the images in movies like Norbit and Good Luck Chuck, we disarm those same images that bother us so much.
Tara, the concept of showing a fat woman eating like that, as a stereotype. Is no different than if someone thought it’d be funny to show a Black person out in the fields picking cotton. You know as well as I do, which idea would be banned six ways to sunday.
The reality is, that as long as there are movies that show these horribly ignorant stereotypes of fat people, we won’t get anywhere. I thought to myself, what if I booed the movie, everyone’s going to say “Oh of course, she’s fat”. Yeah, I’m fat, and I’m pissed off. I’m sure if I was a thin girl and disliked every movie that I saw with me in it, treated me like nothing but a sex toy, or a innuendo joke, I’d be pissed about that too.
However, that is seen as being cute, or maybe even a feminist. God forbid though it should be considered the same as asking for the right to be fat in society, and not have degrading anti-fat images in films that are prejudice on the same level as anything else.
The fact is they do not make comedy films like they used to. Back in the day, when they made films like the Naked Gun series, or shows like Mash. It was something EVERYONE could find funny, it rarely singled people out. I’m thinking about the Naked Gun with Pamela Anderson in it, but she was made a joke of, not held up as some huge ideal of beauty in comparison to someone else.
Today it seems comedy writers know only one form of humor, bully humor. You cannot see a comedy film these days, that doesn’t seem like it was written by that little sociopath who made your life a living hell in high school. It also leans towards the idea, that schools do not admonish bullies as seriously as they should.
Therfore said bullies now write these comedies, and because they were never taught it was wrong, they keep on bullying. I’m not taking the responsiblity away from them, however chances are if our society did something about bullies, rather than just let them grow up to be bigger bullies, movies like this might not be made.
If you want to see something funny, I say turn on Cartoon Network. Yes it does occasionally have fat stereotypes on there, however most of the time it seems the creator of the show is making fun of the sterotypes themselves. Not the target of the stereotyping.
I say it seems, because that’s how I like to view it, I don’t know the cartoonist’s intent. However, I know most cartoonists were the kind of kids who were made fun of in school, so they tend to make fun of the bullies, not be the bullies.
There was an episode of My Gym Partner’s a Monkey where they tried to sell the idea that, eating unhealthy = fat ect. However I haven’t seen hide nor hair of it for awhile. My guess is people either complained about the sizeist aspect of the show, or that the show was telling kids that the food animals eat was better for them. My guess is it was the 2nd one, after parents called in saying the show inspired their child to start eating the dog’s food.
The majority of cartoons are the kind of humor that doesn’t single anyone out as a joke. Most of, if not all the characters are seen as a joke in some form or another. So that’s why I say, turn on Cartoon Network instead of going to see comedy films like Dane Cook’s.
Boo-yeah! This is awesome! Thank you for this list, mopie.
Great post! I just found your blog and I’ll be back. Really good post.. I might link to it from my blog if that’s ok with you. Go Body Positivity!!
I read this post and the “debate” post you linked to with a lot of interest. . . I find myself very much in the middle of the mini-Venn-diagram of fat acceptance, thoughts of weight loss, and conflicted feelings (which for me prompt a kind of cognitive dissonance). It helps to see how people all across the spectrum handle this. So thanks!
I learned something VERY important a few weeks ago. Because I have spent my life “running from the fat girl” it simply never occurred to me that someone that I perceive as graceful and svelte could personally experience as much self-loathing as I.
We have a hot tub and invited some friends over for drinks and dinner… naturally the kids wanted to get into the hot tub. Imagine my ignorant surprise when my “skinny” friend refuse to get in because she will NEVER wear a bathing suit. So the fat girl had to get in with the kids by myself. All the while all I could think about is how shocked I was to learn this. I am 41 years old. I am a master of self-loathing (although desperate to “get over it” and get on with it ifyaknowhutimean) but I have never imagined that someone who so closely matches the thin ideal would be self conscious about wearing a suit. Turns out she feels her breasts are too small.
What a sad SAD situation… none of us should allow the world to make us feel this way. Face it – if you hate your body, for whatever reason, it is VERY hard to take care of it. Love it – treat it well – be healthy. Everything else will fall into place… no?
Peace…
Yeah! Right On. Down with hate! If everyone loved themself, the world would be a brighter place. All hate comes from one’s own weakness. Fuck Weakness!
Thank you so much for having this. I’ve been wandering around the FA blogosphere for the past three months or so and I’ve always been really happy and intellectually stimulated. But today in one of my classes, we were discussing Real Women Have Curves and I called (NOT in a derogatory way, obviously) the main character Ana a “fat girl.”
Now… I am on the upper end of BMI standards for “normal” and there are people in the class that seem to be fatter than me, but I was not expecting it to be the most controversial thing to date in a RACE CLASS. I’m glad to be reaffirmed that I didn’t do anything wrong by the movement, and that instead it is just the stigma surrounding fat and some people’s complete inability to see that there is nothing wrong with saying the word fat, much less being fat. Seriously, thank you so much for making me feel better.
I practiced number seven on the Top Ten list this morning, when I mentioned this blog on a Weight Watchers message board… No one should ever hate themselves for their size (or really, hardly any reason at all…). I had to spread the good word. True health starts with mental health, and mental health starts with a decent self-image. And a decent self-image has nothing to do with the numbers on a scale!
I recently shared my personal views about racism/sexism/weightism(is that a word) with a friend. Some of the worst offenders are by exclusion i.g. Disney . Only recently have they had characters of color such as Pocohontas and Jasmine but they still have very caucasion features. The fat characters are always dumb or evil like Cinderella’s step sisters etc..I’m French/Italian I have a big ass , a big everything and I’m naturally hairy. Now ,you want to talk about social unacceptance, try hairy on. Only recently have I heard a famous woman speak about that, Sarah Silverman. hearing her talk about it made me feel a little better. I don’t know what point I was trying to make , I’m fat and I’m hairy and I’m sad. Thanks for listening.
OMG! I just found this site and already it feels like home.
Thanks for such a kick azz place for fluffy people to gather round and be proud of our extra bounce.
i just read this (http://blogs.news.com.au/fullychic/index.php/news/comments/beautiful_but_different_the_quiet_fat_revolution_of_ms_velvet_damour/ ) and was feeling pumped and positive about a fat woman living life on her own terms. Then I began to read the hate-filled comment section. I quickly became engulfed in a torrent of emotion, most notably, anger, sadness and frustration. So, I spent some time blogging and talking to a supportive friend and just thinking through what I was feeling. Then I did some surfing and came upon this post and it reminded me of what I already know (just temporarily forget when the harsch critics of the world yell louder than my pretty strong inner voice).
THANK YOU!
This is really a great site. That is a great list and everyone should stick to it! I really enjoy reading your posts, they are charming and motivating.
I LOVE THIS! AMAZING LIST.
I just found this, and it’s beautiful. We should be a community that loves ourselves and each other. I have researched clothing, sportswear, all the options–and limits–for women. At heart&core, we’re working on options, based on real feedback from real women. Keep up the positive work!
This is fantastic! I’m sending my readers over here to check it out. Keep up the great work.
Nice post! I think I learned just as much from the comments as I did from the post (not to take anything away from this excellent post).
Among all the things that we can do to be a body positive advocate, writing articles and commenting is one of the best ways (IMHO). I’m not too much on doing obnoxious things to bring attention to a cause ( I will leave that to the Mimi Roth’s of the world), but I’m all for open, honest, and passionate dialogue.
I can only imagine how many are just sitting on the sidelines reading this and I’m sure they are helped.
Thanks for the post Mo Pie!
Do you have something like an “Ask Mo Pie” feature? I just got into FA and I don’t know where to ask these questions, but I thought here would be a good place to start, since this seems like one of the most open and welcoming FA blogs out there. This question relates to being a body-positive advocate:
I have struggled with body-image and weight issues since I first developed an eating disorder at the age of 12. My weight has yo-yo’d since I stopped growing within about 50lbs. Early this summer, I decided to finally put off the college 30 and got heavily into the online world of weight loss. Somewhere along the way, I found fat acceptance, and have since given up dieting and have Linda Bacon’s book on hold at the library.
However, that didn’t happen until I’d already lost over 20lbs. Many people haven’t seen me at all this summer, and I am now dealing with lots of weight-less comments about how much weight I’ve lost, and how “good” and “healthy” I am. These comments now make me extremely uncomfortable. This happened the other day with a coworker, and I tried to diffuse the situation by saying that unfortunately I realized that for me, weight loss actually came with a lot of unhealthy behaviors (and muscle loss), and I don’t diet any more and try to practice health at every size instead. It resulted in colossal awkwardness and blank stares. Maybe I just need to get used to this, and I admit I might be part of the problem bc I have in the past been guilty of “diet talk” so people might think I appreciate the comments. But in some situations, it just seems too awkward to try and explain things to someone who is trying to compliment me. (And in the case of my mother, it’s just a horrible can of worms to try and explain that to “keep going in the right direction”, as she keeps telling me to, probably more accurately means up as opposed to down.)
I do speak up when I hear blatant fat phobia, and I do lots of linking to FA articles and blogs, but I’m still struggling to balance “speaking up” with not offending, even alienating, my friends and coworkers. Does anyone have any pointers about what I should say in these situations, specifically?
Wow, interesting reading. I really wish more people thought about this kind of thing in their day to day lives, I think it would make life that little bit easier.
Yay! I was afraid there was something I wasn’t doing, and apparently I’m doing okay. I’m a recent activist, though I’ve always been very… well, not open or anything, but just very accepting. Size was such a non-issue with me that I didn’t consciously notice if my friends were ‘fat’ or ‘skinny’ or anything. Now that I’m a little more aware, I am much more vocal about how pretty humans are–ALL humans.
I put it all over my art, though the art is never just about that, really.
This is great. I entered you in this plus size blog contest: http://www.plus-sizebra.com/contest. i think you need to go back to get code to paste. Good luck mp!
Thanks, Jeff!!
fuckk yeahhh man aha