Now Jane Pratt has started a website, xoJane.com, and I am really digging it. Marianne Kirby (from The Rotund) and Lesley Kinzel (from Two Whole Cakes) are both writers there, and I think at least one of their other regular writers is plus-sized. That’s not just one token size ten contributor, that’s multiple people who are straight-up fat. (Back in the magazine days, there was one vaguely curvy girl named, I think, Katy (?), and I always felt like I could relate just a little bit more to her pieces.) The best thing about this is that THEY WRITE ABOUT ALL SORTS OF THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE FATNESS.

Don’t get me wrong, they write great stuff about size issues. Lesley just wrote a piece called What’s Wrong With Fat-Shaming?, addressing those horrible billboards featuring sad-looking fat kids (I saw them in Atlanta last year, too, and I always wonder how the poor “models” feel, being plastered on a billboard, children, and being held up as some sort of example of what’s wrong with the world.) I also enjoyed her recent piece about Tim Gunn:

His comments are ultimately the same old body-loathing crap we hear all the time, wrapped up in faux sympathy, and therefore I must take issue with Gunn’s self-applied title of “advocate for larger women” as I believe his words do those women more harm than good. Especially when Gunn says of one woman on the new show, “…she’d been overweight her entire life and never known a normal, slim and sexy body.” (Emphasis mine.)

Check out the body politics tab for more (not just from Lesley, but from other contributors as well). But Lesley has also written about Downton Abbey and collecting things and tampons, and Marianne has written about eloping and fan fiction and Anne of Green Gables. I have no idea how the site works, but it doesn’t seem like “you’re our Fat Contributor, so please write about fat,” more like “you’re a contributor, please write about what interests you.”

I have to say tha I would love to see some more contributors of color, but the site is really doing something right by us plus-sized readers. So thank you to xoJane for having some real size diversity among your staff.

I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

Oh, before you get upset about this, you should know that Kelly insists that she doesn’t hate fat people, and in fact, has some friends who are pudgy, so really, it’s because she cares so much about our health. Oh, ok then! She also offers the advice that if we exercised more and ate whole foods, we’d lose weight in a jiffy.  Fat people never do any of those things! Maura Kelly saves the day! As usual, my hardcore crush Lesley nails it:

…you’re not required to find all fat people attractive, certainly, but Kelly’s comments above are dehumanizing and offensive and really have no place associated with a widely-read publication such as Marie Claire. This is not simply because their candor subverts the standard feel-good ladymag message of “Love yourself! (But not too much!)” but because sentiments like those expressed in Kelly’s post are bad for everyone: they make fat people feel terrible about themselves, and they make thin people terrified of becoming one of those disgusting fatties they so revile.

After reading Ms. Kelly’s blurb on her alumni website, I was most struck by this paragraph:

She struggled with anorexia growing up and credits the psychologists who worked with her for helping her to overcome the disorder. She was so thankful to her psychologists that she decided to major in psychology at Dartmouth so she could one day help others in the same way. Upon graduation, Kelly reread Catcher in the Rye and decided that being a psychologist no longer appealed to her and what she really wanted to do was write a book that would “make people feel less alone in the world.”

After reading the comments on the Marie Claire blog (seriously, go read them and cheer), I feel bad for Kelly. Her sizist screed against fat has obviously more to do with her own eating disorder (which she wrote about and examined in depth in this NYTimes article) and body dysmorphia than any actual concern for the health and welfare of her common man.  Check out her anecdote where  man told her that she looked “athletic” and she mentally twisted it into being called fat. Also, I’m absolutely betting that the next time she bumps into Marie Claire’s pet plus-sized columnist Ashley Falcon in the elevator, it’s going to be awwwwkward!

Good luck with that making “people feel less alone in the world” thing, Maura! You certainly have bonded the fatosphere in outrage and disbelief.

[Alley] recently bragged on her Twitter site that she’s lost 50 pounds with exercise and her Organic Liaison weight-loss program. But those close to her say she’s lost barely half that weight and that there’s no way she’s down to 180 pounds!

What’s more, a photo taken on Sept. 29…shows that the plus-size actress hasn’t lost nearly as much as she claims… The struggling star “has been goosing her weight-loss numbers” – insisting she’s dropped 50 pounds, when it’s more like 25…

In September, while in Italy, she tweeted that she had lost 50 pounds, posting a photo of herself surrounded by handsome men. But the picture appeared to be air-brushed to make Kirstie look thin, and she hid her lower body behind one of the hunky men.

As if weight-loss programs aren’t enough of a scam, hers doesn’t even temporarily work! I hunted down that picture so you can see for yourself. She does look pretty airbrushed, no?

2. Ricky Gervais has lost weight recently, and now feels like jokes about fat people are off-limits.

“Now I’ve got to stop making jokes about fat people, which is annoying. When I was fat, it was okay,” the creator of ‘The Office’ tells People. Gervais, 49, lost “20 or 22 pounds,” he says. “It wasn’t so much about the weight. It was more that I was a fat, lazy, out of shape slob, to be honest.”

Ricky Gervais shutting up about fat people is probably for the best, then, isn’t it? Oh, Ricky.

3. Kim Kardashian posed nude for W Magazine (photos at this link are NSFW) and the pictures are everywhere. There have been a lot of ugly comments that I’m sure you can find if you search for about ten seconds, but I liked this one:

I’m 5’1 and I love the way I look, and it’s nice to see more women with hourglass figures in the media lately, being unafraid to [bare] it all, like Christina Hendricks and Ms. Kardashian here. I’m not going to stop loving myself just because I have the figure of a cartoon character.

Stop the hate, people! There’s so much hate in the world, do we really have to tear each other down over how we perceive each others’ bodies?

4. Crystal Renn is a size 10, and Manolo for the Big Girl is over it.

There’s nothing wrong with being a size 10. She’s had a tough row to hoe body-image wise and if that’s where her body is happy then far be it from me to complain.

But she’s a size 10.

That’s not plus-sized, that’s not close to plus-sized and even though I am the biggest fashion industry apologist on the planet, I just can’t pretend that she counts as a plus-sized model in any meaningful sense and therefore she deserves no more and no less press or attention than any other model who doesn’t wear plus-size clothes.

I’m a big proponent for variety and I’d rather see a size 10 model as a staple than a size 20 as a gimmick every few years, but the days of breathlessly reporting on her every move as a victory for fat girl kind –inasmuch as I ever have– are over.

5. Via The F Word, celebrities who have struggled with eating disorders include Felicity Huffman, Elton John, Kate Winslet, Victoria Beckham, and Snooki.

For years she denied the rumors that she had an eating disorder, but Calista Flockhart finally admitted to her problem with anorexia. “I started under-eating, over-exercising, pushing myself too hard and brutalizing my immune system. I guess I just didn’t find time to eat.” Even though the actress hasn’t gained much noticeable weight she ensures, “I am much more healthy these days.”

I recently read Kathy Griffin’s Official Book Club Selection, where she talked frankly about her binge eating, her husband’s binge eating, and going to Overeaters Anonymous—as well as the botched liposuction that nearly killed her.

2. Levi’s has come out with new “Curve ID” jeans, with different cuts similar to the Lane Bryant Right Fit concept. They go up to a size 24.

3. Making space for all kinds of bodies when we talk about body image, from Disabled Feminists. The post also addresses the idea of making space for those who don’t love their bodies at all. A thought-provoking read.

4. 500-pound teen dies in a fire when fire crews are unable to lift her. Heather, who sent in the article, pointed out how hateful the comments are in response to this tragedy, with references to her “eating herself to death.” Ugh.

5. Shapely Prose officially shuts its doors, and Kate Harding talks about her plans for the future. The end of an era!

Want to talk about any of this stuff? I know I do! Let’s take it to the comments!

I’m guessing that a lot of us had Sassy moments that impacted your impressionable years. For me, when I read something that Mike Flaherty said about Roseann Barr being a “fat ugly cow”, something broke inside my brain. I wrote a seething letter to the editor, taking him and the magazine to task for preaching acceptance and then spewing that level of body hate. It was the first time I had ever dared to defend my body–my fatness–and it felt like the most dangerous thing in the world. Mike called me personally to apologize and then they published a version of the letter (although with a softened comment about still trying to lose weight) in their March 1990 issue.  I used the payment to fly to NYC and hang out in the Sassy offices with Christina, Mike and then spanking-new writer Kim France (now EIC of Lucky), pretty much making me the luckiest teenager in America for a short few hours.

One of the things I remember most about those two afternoons was how Christina told me to keep writing and keep questioning shit. Christina took her own advice. Check it out:

In Jane Brody’s column about BMI on Tuesday, she, or some hack doctor she quotes, says that it’s thoroughly possible for a 125 pound, 5 foot 5 inch woman to be fat. Shut the front door. Jane, this is frigging impossible. I am resisting the impulse to say you are going senile.

An ad for a plastic surgeon in The Montclair Times today asks, “Do you suffer from cellulite?” Suffering? Really? I’m almost speechless. There is a lot of suffering in this world, to be sure, very little of it from cellulite.

Tabitha Soren (former MTV News correspondent back when MTV was still relevant) said “Sassy has changed my life by making me hopeful that society’s stereotypes of the ideal physical female are unrealistic and terribly outdated. Sassy celebrates women who are real people that exist in the real world, not plastic surgery victims.”  It doesn’t happen often but it’s absolutely amazing when you see that your idols are still exactly who you thought they were, more than twenty years later.

Rock n roll, Christina Kelly. You’re still the coolest girl I’ve ever met.

Michaele Salahi poses in a bikini for [InTouch] and then says she is not an anorexic and that she eats plenty and that if people would get out and move they would look just like her. Eating plenty huh? Want to know what she eats everyday? In the morning she has a bowl of cereal and at night she has a salad with some grilled chicken in it. No lunch or anything else the entire day. Umm, how does she even have the energy to move around…

Not to be outdone, Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel says the way she lost 33 pounds after pregnancy was to “Taste everything, eat nothing.” Umm, that sounds like one of the favorite tricks of anorexia. .. What [the tabloids] have done is put two incredibly skinny women in bikinis in their magazine and said they basically don’t eat. That is the only way you will look like them and the tabloids seem to be celebrating it. That is wrong, wrong wrong. If you are naturally skinny, then great. You are just as sexy as the curvy person or the overweight person. What I don’t like is they are saying the only way to be sexy is to be thin and to not eat. That is wrong.

I think we’re all pretty familiar with the hypocrisy of the tabloids by now. But still, as long as they keep printing this, it’s good to keep saying it: these messages are damaging and dangerous. And the Real Housewives may be, right at this very moment, the number one thing that’s holding back contemporary feminism. Well, them and Heidi Montag.

Dear BFD,

First, thanks for adding an Ask BFD category. I love your blog and the FA blogosphere so much- I wish I’d known about it in high school! :) Reading these blogs are very rewarding, but yet difficult for me because of cognitive dissonance. How can you be a fat positive advocate, and a good friend and influence when it comes to body positivity for the people around you, when you still struggle with accepting yourself?

Obviously, the world we live in is still very judgmental, which is what a lot of blogs often discuss. My problem, though, is just as often me. Being college-age now, my sister and some of my dearest friends struggle with eating disorders, so body positivity and self-esteem are an important issue for me. But as someone who struggled with eating disorders herself, and who still sometimes -hates- her body at a ‘healthy BMI’, and what most people would call an average size- I often feel fatter now than when I was
obese- how can I counsel self-love without being a hypocrite? How can you keep from triggering the people around you when you’re trying to keep losing weight yourself?

I am the biggest HAES advocate believer you can imagine, and the last thing I want to do is spread any more negative energy into the world. I am a radical liberal and feminist, and many of the women I personally find attractive are bigger than me- Beth Ditto is one of the most fashionable, inspiring, and talented women I have ever seen, for instance, and I have the most monstrous crush on Hayley Hasselhoff from Huge. But this just doesn’t transfer to my own behavior and self-image. I want to be a good role model to the girls around me, and I think my problem is one a lot more common than some people think. The only analogy I can think of is being straight in a gay pride parade, except it’s probably closer to being a secretly self-hating gay- how can you support this cause when you’re one of those girls who are technically the ‘enemy?’

I know I’m a work in progress, and I try every day to become a happier, more self-loving person, but eating disorders don’t just go away just like that, or even just the puerile teenage insecurities every woman’s faced sometimes. Thanks for reading this, and I’d love any advice on how to still be an advocate for others, even with my own problems. Most of all, I love my sister more than anything, and I fear the effect I have on her sometimes. Does anyone else have this problem, and what do you do? Thanks for your time!

Gratefully,
Barnardgirl

This is such a great question, Barnardgirl, and thanks for sending it in!

First of all, I think you’re making an assumption that isn’t true: that somehow, all FA advocates are perfect models of self-esteem and self-love. I don’t think there’s anyone out there who doesn’t still struggle with these issues sometimes. I still “feel fat” and unattractive sometimes, I still get my feelings hurt by petty fatism, I still have a semi-disordered relationship with food—I’m not immune, and I honestly don’t think anyone is.

So, be careful with things like calling yourself “the enemy.” You’re fighting a lifetime of messages that there’s something wrong with your body, and at least you’re thinking about these issues. You’re doing the best you can.

So, first of all, I would advise you to keep doing what you’re already doing—read and participate in blogs like this one and other feminist and fatosphere blogs, replace Cosmo and Vogue with Ms. and Fatshionista, and keep working on internalizing emotionally what you’ve already accepted intellectually.

As for your sister, I have a sister myself, and I appreciate your desire to be a good role model for her, as well as for your friends. All I can say is, resist the urge to participate in Fat Talk as a form of bonding, keep preaching the gospel of HAES and modeling it as best you can, and keep reading for the readers’ advice in the comments. Readers—what advice can you give Barnardgirl?

First off, from Becky on Twitter comes this story about Penelope Cruz, who says you don’t have to be thin to be pretty.

“I would close down all those teenage magazines that encourage young girls to diet. Who says that to be pretty you have to be thin? Some people look better thin and some don’t. There is almost a standard being created where only thin is acceptable. The influence of those magazines on girls as young as 13 is horrific.”

I could argue (at length) about the comment that “Some people look better thin and some don’t,” because I think that’s problematic. Also the word “almost” in that bolded sentence. But the fact that she’s pissed off about this and speaking out is pretty awesome.

Via CDAN comes this letter from Sophia Bush about those ridiculous “Eat Less” shirts from Urban Outfitters.

I am fortunate enough to star on a wonderful TV show called One Tree Hill. I play a fashion designer named Brooke Davis, who started a campaign on the show called “Zero Is Not A Size” and the outpouring of love and gratitude that came my way from girls and women ALL OVER THE WORLD who have body image issues brought me to tears.

To promote starvation? To promote anorexia, which leads to heart disease, bone density loss, and a slew of other health problems, not least of all psychological issues that NEVER go away? Shame on you. I will no longer be shopping at your stores. And I will encourage the tens of thousands of female supporters I have to do the same. I have fought to boycott BP. I never imagined I would also be boycotting affordable fashion.

You should issue a public apology, and make a hefty donation to a women’s organization that supports those stricken with eating disorders. I am sickened that anyone, on any board, in your gigantic company would have voted ‘yes’ on such a thing, let alone enough of you to manufacture an item with such a hurtful message.

I’m hoping (and assuming) “Zero Is Not A Size” is not against very slim women, but instead against the idea that the size for these women has that name. But I don’t watch One Tree Hill so one of you might have to fill me in. Anyway, it sounds like Sophia Bush is very engaged with the world, and trying to use her celebrity to effect some positive change. That’s awesome.

And finally, Hayley Hasselhoff talks about the awesomeness that is Huge, and how she embraces her curves.

I related to Amber [her character] a lot when I was younger growing up, but I think I’m finally at a point in life where I’m comfortable with who I am… I’m so glad there’s a show that teenagers can look up to young girls and realize it’s okay to be voluptuous.

Three celebrities speaking out and telling teens it’s okay to be who you are? Feels like a Feel Good Friday to me.

And now, on with the show! I’m very excited about the title, can I just say that? There will be singing! It’ll be just like Glee! Right?

The “previously ons” are extra exciting to me because I still haven’t seen the first two episodes so it’s ALL NEW INFORMATION. Will is wearing a cute owl shirt, and Will and Chris Sligh (whose name, I now know thanks to you guys, is Ian) have cute chemistry, and Gina Torres has food issues.

Who is Crying Shower Cap Girl? Did we see her last week?

“Can we skip the nightly ‘who’s fatter’ contest”? I continue to love Will.

Now there’s some backstory between Becca and Chloe (who I do not like). Oh, Amber was going to let Crying Shower Cap Girl into their talent show act, and Chloe rejected her. See, I was right about not liking her! She also said the more weight she lost last summer, the more people were jealous of her and disliked her. But we’ve seen her distancing herself from people (notably Crying Shower Cap Girl and her brother) not the other way around.

Gina Torres (Dr. somebody) seems so awkward standing up to talk in front of people. Why is she a camp director if she’s scared of all the kids? And Jillian Michaels continues to scare me. And Hot Buff Guy, whose name I have forgotten again, is charming. Was it George, or am I just thinking of George Clooney for some reason?

The kids are daydreaming about food whilst eating lowfat cheese popovers. Are they all going to be portrayed as junk food addicts? Hopefully not.

Jillian Michaels is named Shea. What are the odds I will actually remmeber this? And
she’s got it in for the dad/cook. I kinda don’t care about this plotline.

“Will’s the girl who likes basketball, right?”
“I have no idea what she likes, except being overweight. She loves that.”

Wow, way to care abut your campers, there, Gina Torres. “I have no idea what she likes”? And did you steal her journal, which is missing? DUH DUH DUUUUHHH.

A property line dispute. Whee. Scintillating. Bring on the talent show! TAL-ENT! TAL-ENT!

Oh my god, Chris Sligh is trying to write a song, and now he has found a journal! With lines of poetry in it that almost sound like… song lyrics!?

Yay, the owl shirt is back! I really want that owl shirt. Someone tell me where it comes from.

Chloe is mean to everyone who isn’t Trent. Boo. Hiss. (Not that she isn’t a prototypical Mean Girl, who probably only has the power to be a Mean Girl here at fat camp, but whatever.)

More about the property lizzzzzzzzzzz.

Will lost her journal and will die if anyone reads it. How about if someone takes it and turns it into song lyrics and performs them at the talent show? I mean, not that that’s gonna happen. But WHAT IF?

Property line dispute guy might have a thing for Gina Torreszzzzzzzzz.

Why is Amber so uncomfortable about that camera that they found in lost and found? And is the journal that Becca found really Will’s or is it someone else’s? So many questions!

Oh Becca, don’t read it. DON’T READ IT. It is a terrible idea.

She’s gonna read it.

She read it.

Will is now wearing a cute hat and playing ping pong with Ian. He should maybe tell her he ran across some potential lyrics in a journal, don’t you think? And also, Becca clearly did not enjoy whatever it was she read. I TOLD YOU SO, BECCA.

They’re watching fake More to Love and it’s called Love Handles! Okay, that’s hilarious.

Gina Torres is in some type of muffin-eating support group. I mean, that’s not a euphemism. Or… is it?

Is it OA? If so, why is everyone skinny? I mean, I didn’t freeze frame it or anything, but it looked like a bunch of skinny people.

That property line guy came over with some zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. THIS IS BORING, SHOW! How many times do I have to fake fall asleep before you psychically pick up on my boredom, go back in time, and make this more exciting? I liked it better when she had a Mysterious Romantic Past with the Rival Camp Director.

Amber is apparently played by Hayley Hasslehoff. Good for you, Hayley! I’m sorry your father is an alcoholic. That must be tough.

The camera plotline is now being resolved. It is Crying Shower Cap Girl’s camera. And she’s named Sierra? Maybe? And this is a whole lot of stupid drama about a camera when Amber could have just jumped in to say, “Oops, my bad, it’s not mine after all.” But instead, there is a whole dramatic scene with Chloe defending her.

Will and Ian are having a really nice moment. I’m sure nothing’s going to go wrong when he starts singing his song.

Gina Torres is giving an awkward speech about the origins of the word “talent” and property sign guy is listening. Why are you putting me to sleep at the talent show, plotline?

Poppy and Sierra. Poppy is the other adult, and has a ukelele. Sierra is playing the triangle.

Amber and Chloe are having a weird fight about the camera again. I’m interested in knowing what’s going on with Amber. And now they’re not on the stage, and Becca has to go up and dance. With that other guy, who is not Trent, singing. And that was very funny.

Now Trent is kissing Chloe on advice from George Clooney, even though he really likes Amber more. Well we all like Amber more! Then again, I don’t really care about Trent either. I’m all about Will and Ian.

Alastair seems to have some kind of thing for Trent. (Perhaps unconsciously so! Because we know sexuality is complex!) And now he’s turning the magic show into a comedy routine, and they’re laughing at him. And it’s cute.

Hahahaha Love Handles spoof! Hahahaha.

Ian sings the song! Finally. “This song is inspired by a poem I found. I don’t know who you are, but you’re out there somewhere, and you’re awesome.” Maybe Will won’t take it badly after all?

And, she ran out. Maybe she will. Maybe Will will. Her name is confusing me. It’s a good song, though.

Will Will come back? Will won’t!

Amber is poor and embarrassed by her poverty, and that was her motivation with the whole camera thing. But she seems genuinely happy for Chloe, that she got to make out with Trent. Because she’s sweet, that Amber.

Will and Ian are having it out about the journal. Noooooo. Don’t let this come between you, Will! NOooooooOOoooooOOOO! Okay, apparently I am more invested in this relationship than I thought.

And now it’s over! But next week, it looks there’s hope. And people are kissing, but I can’t tell who. Yay! See you guys here next week?

• Entertainment Weekly
• L.A. Times
• ABC News
• MTV
• STLToday
• New York Times
• The Frisky

2. An awesome 18-year-old spent a month following Seventeen magazine dictates and blogging about it, calling it the Seventeen Magazine Project. Her intent was to draw more attention to the media’s ridiculous perception of women and teens and what they want, and are supposed to want. And now she’s decided to get even louder, putting together a community project called “Hey mainstream media.”

To participate in this project, all that you have to do is take a picture of yourself holding a sign with words finishing the statement, “Hey mainstream media! I am….”

Anyone can participate in this project. That is, anyone that at some point has felt misrepresented by or excluded from mainstream media. This project is NOT just for teens. Are you a black woman? Maybe you’re more than just a sassy best friend character. A straight man? Maybe you’re interested in more than just pictures of naked women. Unlike media, this project does not exclude or alienate any demographic.

You can add photos directly to the Flickr pool to participate. http://www.flickr.com/groups/heymainstreammedia/

3. The headline in this NYT article says it all: Plus-Size Revelation: Bigger Women Have Cash Too.

Corseted into a size 18 white denim dress, wearing heels that made her about 6-foot-2, Gwen DeVoe, a former model and fashion-show producer, stepped onto a runway in Manhattan this week and made a pitch to retailers for the plus-size woman.

Those stores that don’t carry bigger sizes? “Shame on you, baby, shame on you,” Ms. DeVoe said. “Every curvy girl that has a dollar is willing to spend that dollar.”

So retailers are realizing.

Just now? Just now they’re realizing? It feels like they’ve been realizing and poised to take on the plus-size market for about as long as I have been alive. Hey, maybe one day it’ll be a nice, ordinary fact, and not “news.”

4. A little late, but I just ran into this: Full-Figured Fashion Week happened, and it sounds like it was awesome. Sponsorship was up (7 sponsors last year, 35 this year!). My favorite part: how New York Magazine wistfully notes that everyone had a very swell time.

It’s a shame Full Figured Fashion Week has to be so separate from New York’s main Fashion Week. It’s also too bad the main Fashion Week doesn’t have model competitions or fun award ceremonies and a vibe that’s not life-or-death.