Now Jane Pratt has started a website, xoJane.com, and I am really digging it. Marianne Kirby (from The Rotund) and Lesley Kinzel (from Two Whole Cakes) are both writers there, and I think at least one of their other regular writers is plus-sized. That’s not just one token size ten contributor, that’s multiple people who are straight-up fat. (Back in the magazine days, there was one vaguely curvy girl named, I think, Katy (?), and I always felt like I could relate just a little bit more to her pieces.) The best thing about this is that THEY WRITE ABOUT ALL SORTS OF THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE FATNESS.

Don’t get me wrong, they write great stuff about size issues. Lesley just wrote a piece called What’s Wrong With Fat-Shaming?, addressing those horrible billboards featuring sad-looking fat kids (I saw them in Atlanta last year, too, and I always wonder how the poor “models” feel, being plastered on a billboard, children, and being held up as some sort of example of what’s wrong with the world.) I also enjoyed her recent piece about Tim Gunn:

His comments are ultimately the same old body-loathing crap we hear all the time, wrapped up in faux sympathy, and therefore I must take issue with Gunn’s self-applied title of “advocate for larger women” as I believe his words do those women more harm than good. Especially when Gunn says of one woman on the new show, “…she’d been overweight her entire life and never known a normal, slim and sexy body.” (Emphasis mine.)

Check out the body politics tab for more (not just from Lesley, but from other contributors as well). But Lesley has also written about Downton Abbey and collecting things and tampons, and Marianne has written about eloping and fan fiction and Anne of Green Gables. I have no idea how the site works, but it doesn’t seem like “you’re our Fat Contributor, so please write about fat,” more like “you’re a contributor, please write about what interests you.”

I have to say tha I would love to see some more contributors of color, but the site is really doing something right by us plus-sized readers. So thank you to xoJane for having some real size diversity among your staff.

Wilhelmina Anne was born at 11:43 pm on May 17th. (She was born via C-section, 50 hours after my water broke in the parking lot of a movie theater after seeing Bridesmaids.) (Which totally reminds me to write about Melissa McCarthy’s character in Bridesmaids.) She weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces, and was 20.87 inches long. She is, of course, perfect! And that’s where I’ve been. Thanks for your patience!

I have friends who have had home births and hypnobirths and sexytime births, none of which is super appealing. Although I would like a doula (fingers crossed that the one we’re talking to right now has a space for us) I also want to be in a hospital near medical equipment because I think that’s where I will feel safest. Also because I am “elderly” (36) and because I enjoy modern medicine. (I am hoping it’s modern enough to involve pain medication [if I need it] without the use of needles. They’ve invented that, right? Where the medicine is just licked on by kittens?)

I am also told labor is very physical and hard work and all that stuff. I’m worried about physically handling labor and childbirth, particularly since I’m fat. And right now, I can barely even breathe because my uterus is crammed up against my lungs. So I’m not exactly feeling at my peak fitness at the moment, which does not boost my confidence any.

Oh, and I would like a room with a jacuzzi tub. (These do exist at the hospital, by the way! My husband thinks the idea of a tub is crazy, and likes to joke that he’ll get in and start ordering cocktails while I’m having the baby. This is not actually a real representation of what he will do. But I do love water and I will take any kind of tub they have got going on.)

Any or all of these ideas may change as our childbirth class progresses and we learn more about our options, but that’s what I’ve got so far. In the meantime, if you have a good birth experience story, please share in the comments! Help me with my homework.

Gestational Diabetes

I had my one-hour glucose test a few weeks ago. (I am… wait, I can’t be 31 weeks today… can I? Well, it was at week 26.) In the days leading up to the test, I was convinced that I was likely to fail it. (A lot of people fail the one-hour test even if they don’t end up with gestational diabetes.) Why was I so convinced? I guess I assumed that since I’m fat, I would probably end up having gestational diabetes. I am also very thirsty all the time and drink water constantly, which is a normal pregnancy symptom, but again, I jumped to the diabetes conclusion. And finally, I’ve been eating way more sugar than usual since I’ve been pregnant. I crave carbs of all kinds: fruits, breads, chocolate, donuts, pop tarts.

[As an aside, I used to envision that I would be a beatific model of healthy eating when I was pregnant. But I'm here to tell you, physically speaking, pregnancy sucks, and you do what you have to do to get through it. I spent a lot of time so nauseous that only a specific, limited number of foods appealed to me at all. A lot of my healthy staples (notably turkey sandwiches and tuna fish) are on the Do Not Eat or Eat More Rarely list. And most importantly, it's a tossup as to what I can stomach at any given moment. It's actually been very liberating, because if someone sees me eating a donut or whatever, whereas I might have gotten slightly defensive about it in the past, these days it's like eff you, I'm pregnant, I can do what I want. It's been the key to helping me really let go of food guilt. I haven't felt guilty about food for months.]

Anyway, I’m sure you can see where this is going: I passed the one-hour glucose test, no problem. And then I felt really dumb for all my dumb assumptions. Of course, if I had developed gestational diabetes, would I have blamed genetics, or blamed myself? Clearly, I should have read this first. The bottom line is that there is an increased risk for gestational diabetes in obese mothers, but the overall risk is still fairly low.

Weight Loss In Pregnancy

The next pregnancy hurdle was my last OB appointment, where I discovered I’d lost 10 pounds between appointments. In fact, so far at seven+ months of pregnancy, I’m down 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. My doctor did some measurements and was very reassuring, but sent me for an ultrasound just to double check. At the ultrasound, we discovered that the baby is measuring right on schedule and is in fact in the 50th percentile for weight. Exactly, perfectly average and normal and lovely. So as long as I keep taking my prenatal vitamin and eating a varied diet (yes, I swear there are veggies and protein in there) things seem to be on the right track. Yay and yay!

Baby Bump Question

Even though I’m 31 (???!?) weeks pregnant, I don’t have an obvious baby bump. I mean I do have a bigger stomach and am waddling around, but the average person on the street is unlikely to assume that I’m pregnant, and certainly nobody has asked about or commented on it. I had to announce my pregnancy to my classes at the beginning of the semester, since I didn’t want them to awkwardly wonder all semester if I was pregnant. Many of my thinner friends have obvious little baby bumps; I just have a general westward expansion.

This has actually saved me from one thing, which is people touching my stomach. I wasn’t big on people touching my stomach before I got pregnant, and I’m certainly no more enthusiastic about it now. But this weekend I’m going to a couple of baby showers with people who know I’m pregnant and may want to touch my stomach. I really don’t want them to; in fact, I was up last night worrying about handsy relatives or my over-enthusiastic parents, and how to set appropriate boundaries with crazy Dutch people.

I’m guessing this isn’t just a fat person thing, but curious to know what you guys think: did you mind people touching your belly while you were pregnant? And if you did, how did you handle it?

First question: do I need and will I use a rocking chair or glider? If so, is there one that you recommend as being sturdy and comfortable? Or should I just go to the… rocking chair store…? Yeah, I have no idea.

Second question: baby carriers and slings. My friend Jen suggested going to Babies R’ Us or what have you and trying on various types, which I think is a good idea; the other thing I know is that different babies like different carriers, and we most likely won’t know what Wigburg likes until Wigburg is here to express her preference. But is there a particular style of carrier that works or doesn’t work for a larger body?

And final question: diaper bags. I tend to like a messenger bag with a long strap, but occasionally when I order messenger bags, the straps aren’t long enough. anyone have one you like that has a nice long strap?

If there’s anything else that you’ve found to be a baby essential, fat-related or not, let me know! It’s a little overwhelming to stare at 20 different subcategories of baby stuff and figure out where to begin. Thanks in advance for your input!

And here’s the thing: I got really really really really really really sick. I wish I could convey to you how incapacitated I was. I was so sick that I could barely function. Just to get to work and home again was all I could do, for many weeks. Looking at a computer screen made me nauseous, so I didn’t reply to emails (my inbox is still stuffed) or moderate comments or post to the blog. Other things that made me throw up included eating, not eating, thinking about eating, moving around, looking at things, and talking (which made lecturing fun, let me tell you). At one point I was driving to campus and in the middle of the faculty parking lot I had to slam on the brakes, open the door, and puke on the concrete. Then I had to go brush my teeth and give a lecture. That was a fun day.

I got so sick, in fact, that I’m actually still a little sick. (It’s supposed to go away at 16 weeks. This in my case was a terrible lie.) It’s just that when I got to the point where I couldn’t leave my bed and was in fact doing nothing but curling up in the fetal position while occasionally projectile vomiting, I finally got some Zofran, an anti-emetic that I probably should have asked for weeks before I did. But in the meantime I was busy trying every remedy under the sun, from Vitamin B6 and Unisom to special Sri Lankan ginger cookies procured by a friend. And I was busy puking! Let’s not forget the puking.

In the meantime, and in addition, we bought a house! (I know. Lots of news from these here parts.) It’s a fixer-upper, and we’ve been working on fixing it up. That’s also been taking a lot of time. Add in teaching and traveling for the holidays, and there you have it. Where I’ve been.

The thing is, I have a lot of stuff I want to post about. We never talked about important things like Huge being cancelled (nooooooo!!!) (still sad) or the Harry Potter Theme Park adding fat-people seats to their ride just in time for me not to be able to ride roller coasters. Plus, now there’s all this fat and pregnant stuff to talk about, such as the fact that I still don’t really look pregnant and what that means (in fact, so far I’ve lost 15 pounds, even though none of my pants fit), or the fact that Wigburg is a girl, and that I need advice from all of you about how to help her grow up feminist and confident and awesome. And also, the fact that none of my bras fit, because apparently no matter how big your boobs are, they can still get bigger. Scientific fact.

I’m not going to commit to posting every day quite yet, but I will commit to at least one post per week, and see how that goes. I will also try not to turn into a mommyblog. But you know. There might be more mommyblog-esque content here and there. Once again: it’s Wigburg’s fault.

…One in four female characters was depicted in “sexy, tight, or alluring attire,” compared with one in 25 male characters. The female characters were also more likely than men to be beautiful, and one in five were “portrayed with some exposed skin between the mid-chest and upper thigh regions.” Because you wouldn’t want to take on the world without baring your midriff—girl power! (Another study found, troublingly, that women in G-rated films wear the same amount of skimpy clothing as women in R-rated films.) One in four women was shown with a waist so small that, the authors concluded, it left “little room for a womb or any other internal organs.” Maybe we could carry them in our purses?

No wonder young girls are reporting body image issues earlier and earlier.  Not only are fat females treated by the filmmakers as lesser or non-sexual grandmothers, but the girls we’re supposed to emulate are hyper-sexualized with giant Hentai eyes and Angelina Jolie pouts. And to think we all blamed Bratz dolls!

You know, I honestly cannot think of a sympathetic fat female human character in an animated kid’s movie.  There were fat people in Wall-E, of course, but it was pretty offensive stereotyping.  I think Mrs. Potts eventually turns into a fat human, but for the majority of Beauty and the Beast, she’s tableware.  Arguably, one of Sleeping Beauty’s fairy friends is a plus-sized fairy, but that movie is old than my grandmother. Likewise, Hyacinth the Hippo. Dora the Explorer isn’t a svelte lass, but she’s also like six. And there are never fat princesses.

Then there’s Ursula the Sea Witch. Love her.

You know, she’s the first fat villian who really has some power. The other fat girls in Disney movies are either fairy godmothers (who twitter a lot) or singing teapots. Up until Ursula, the female villians were all tall, angular women with pinched faces (Cruella DeVille; the Wicked StepMother in Snow White; the aunt with the Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp; Maleficient, who is also awesome for rocking that head gear) and she ends up embodying ultimate power (and, you know, getting stabbed by a boat, but whatevs).

But the fact remains that Ursula is still evil, and definitely not sympathetic. In fact, the only plus-sized female main character in recent memory is Princess Fiona, who is introduced to us first as being thin and Cameron Diaz-y and then her plus-size state is explained by her having been cursed. Seriously. Cursed! And the only reason she ends up being ok with her state is the fact that her man loves her best when she’s all green and belchy.

Let’s discuss in the comments!

Oh, the postcards. The postcards with awful puns and “jokes” on them that feature very large models and often show them in the process of eating something. We’ve all seen them, right? I saw this one last month, while I was on vacation in Ohio, and I was like, “oh god, these. I remember these.”

When I was a kid, they didn’t annoy me (like they do now) they just made me uncomfortable. And why? Because they sent me the message that fat people are meant to be laughed at. Or maybe that fat people shouldn’t put on bathing suits. And my mom was not a skinny woman, and she wore a bathing suit. It made me feel protective and sad. Were people laughing at her? Was she funny, the way the postcards were funny?

I also used to wonder about the models who pose for these pictures. And I guess I still wonder about them, the same way I wonder about actors who are cast in parts where they don’t have a name, are just listed as “Fat Girl #3″ or whatever.

So, these postcards. Harmless kitsch or fatism in the wild? And is it just my imagination or are we, at least, seeing fewer of them?

2. Lesley at Fatshionista is doing Huge recaps, and tackles the latest episode here. Also, the cast signs a Body Peace Treaty, but… there are some problems, as The
Rotund explains:

“Oh, hi, y’all, love your bodies but isn’t this traditionally attractive boy just the hottest? You may be smart and funny and good looking but you won’t measure up to the mainstream heartthrobby good looks of the thin dude.”

Yeah, I’m paraphrasing. BUT COME ON.

3. The Glamazons are auditioning for new talent.

Those 4 plus size beauties are looking to cast another girl to add to the group! Are you a gorgeous, tall, plus size girl who can sing and dance? Please send pics and resumes to glamazongirls@gmail.com for audition appointment.

4. Let’s teach preschoolers to count calories! Family Feeding Dynamics spots a problematic sign at the local Farmer’s Market.

Circle the healthiest choice (fewest calories)!
Ring the cowbell!

1/2 cup diced fruit salad (60 calories)
1/2 cup diced fruit salad with 2 Tbspn orange juice (88 calories)
1/2 cup diced fruit salad with 2 Tbspns light yogurt (96 calories)

I wonder why adding yogurt is not “healthy” or the assertion that the definition of “healthy” is low calorie. Low-calorie and low-fat diets fail nutritionally for small children (and fail for adults too.) I won’t elaborate on why this is garbage “nutrition” info which is more harmful than helpful.

5. And finally, happy ten-year blogoversary to the granddaddy of all FA blogs, Big Fat Blog!

I know we haven’t solved all of the world’s fat problems (yet), but just think for a second where fat acceptance and body equality were ten years ago. Or maybe it would be easier to think of where *you* were on the body love continuum ten years ago.

Happy Thursday!

I was reminded of that conversation today when I was listening to Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” on the radio, and feeling vaguely oppressed by the lyrics. In case you don’t know the song, the chorus goes like this:

California girls
We’re unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We’ll melt your Popsicle
Oh oh oh

Admittedly, this is a stupid thing to feel oppressed by. But growing up as a lifelong California girl, I was always conscious that I didn’t live up to the familiar stereotype. I grew up with the Beach Boys song, of course, and all the videos that showed what a California girl was “supposed” to look like, and it wasn’t me. I freckle instead of tan, my hair is brown instead of blonde, and I certainly am not the thin but busty girl in Daisy Dukes and a bikini (and usually white and blonde) rollerblading on Venice Beach, who is the typical “California girl.”

Probably only seven girls in the world meet all these qualifications (and one of them is Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company) but I didn’t really understand that at the time—I just felt like I wasn’t measuring up. I guess I was afraid I would let people down, in some weird way. (And by “people” I mean “heterosexual men” who, of course, must have an unlimited supply of stereotypically beautiful, scantily clad women to look at and imagine having sex with at all times.)

So, it was a childish fear, which my all-grown-up feminist brain can easily dispense with, but it resurfaced thanks to Katy Perry, and I figured it might be interesting to share it.

Here’s the video for “California Gurls,” which is admittedly pretty cute… but it also presents girls as objects—Katy Perry is naked in it, and one girl is literally unwrapped like a present, and they are decorated in candy (because they are intended to be consumed, after all), and Snoop Dogg raps about girls being “tan, toned, fit, and ready,” and the whole thing is, from a feminist standpoint, very problematic. I mean, “We’ll melt your Popsicle”? This song is addressed to men, and promising them sexual gratification with a wink. Which is kind of Katy Perry’s schtick, right? I mean, “I Kissed A Girl” is one of my favorite gym songs, but it’s still all “tee hee” about bisexuality, presumably because men think hot chicks kissing each other is hot.

Anyway. The point being, I was driving around thinking about this today, and wondering if anyone else had a similar story about something minor that nevertheless makes you feel somehow oppressed. And I’d also love to know if there are stereotypes about the people who live where you live—and if so, whether you live up to them or not.