She had been given free tickets to attend the filming of American Idol and was understandably excited. But 19-year-old Ashley Kauffman’s joy soon turned to upset on being told she was ‘too big’ to sit in the front row

There were two [female ushers] and one said: “Oh, I don’t want shorts in front,” about my friend,’…Then [the usher] looked at me and said: “Oh no, you’re too big, too heavy to be in front!” To make matters worse Miss Kauffman and the two other girls were then seated in the back of the theatre rather than directly behind their other friends…

She added that staff had seated two girls who were ‘super skinny and wearing little dresses’ in the front row where [she] and her friends would have been sitting.

Ashley says she is still going to support the contestants on the show, but is speaking out to “make sure it’s known how they treated me.” Good for you, Ashley, and I hope you get an apology–and front-row seats to the finale.

Via Rickey.org.

Q. I Need Help: I submitted a question last week and so I am hoping to get lucky today. I am 52 and getting married in about six months (first), my best friend, whom I love dearly, is assuming I want her to be my matron of honor. I have not asked her because she weighs about 400 pounds. I hate myself for not wanting her to be in the wedding, because it would just break her heart. People stare at her and point as she is very short, so it looks worse (if we can say that). I feel awful, but I am just being honest. How can I handle this?

She’s my best friend! And I love her! Except not really! Here’s Prudence’s answer:

A: Since you’re just being honest, I’ll be honest, too. I find your sentiments repulsive. How sad that your best friend has a best friend who actually is one of those people who would mock and stigmatize her. It’s one thing if you conclude, “Hey, I’m 52, so I’m a little old for matrons of honor and all that frou-frou.” It’s another if you want to exclude her because she’d ruin your wedding photos. If you’re coming to me for a polite way to tell your friend she looks appalling, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. —Ben Franklin

I’m sure you’ve all read plenty about the TSA furor, which has been upsetting plenty of people. Friend of the blog Aych has written about her experience, and posts written by and about rape survivors have added additional layers of horror to the whole thing—and have suggested that the purpose of the pat downs is not actually to search people, but to embarrass them into choosing the scanners instead.

So I was reading this article about how the TSA agents don’t like the patdowns any more than airline passengers do, and what’s one of their complaints? Of course. Fat people.

“It is not comfortable to come to work knowing full well that my hands will be feeling another man’s private parts, their butt, their inner thigh,” wrote one male agent. Even worse is having to try and feel inside the flab rolls of obese passengers, and we seem to get a lot of obese passengers!

Well gee, I’m really sorry my “flab rolls” are making you uncomfortable while you are groping my private parts in public. Obviously I should fall in line and just go for the option where my naked body gets projected on a screen for you instead.

You’ll love the title.

Without further delay, I give you the official trailer for Blubberella.

(Safe for work but probably not safe for potential body image triggers)

Io9 called it “ridiculously offensive fatsploitation” and judging from its tagline (“She will kick major ass – with her major ass”) it’s hard to disagree.

In case you’re wondering who the cute-as-sin actor is in the title role, it’s Lindsay Hollister who you may remember from Joan of Arcaia and the dance scene in Get Smart

It’s important to note that she is still listing the film on her resume as “Untitled Spoof Movie”.  She had this to say in an interview over on Big Fat Blog:

What challenges have you faced in your career due to your size?

I am definitely bigger than a size 10 and have lost out on several big parts because I’ve been too fat to play the “fat woman”. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful. My career began because of my size (playing an overweight student on Boston Public), and I’ve been able to play some amazing roles because I am a character actress. But I’ve also hit a lot of walls because compared to the average size of an actress in Hollywood (size 0/2), I’m gigantic! It’s a double edge sword and I think that networks/producers just don’t want to take the chance on me. Like casting me as a love interest for example. Again, they play it safe with an actress who is a size 10 or 12. It’s frustrating because I don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to shake it up a little bit. Make a statement. I think people would watch. And love it!

Blubberella is definitely a statement, Lindsay. As is that hot corset number. I’m going to focus on that instead of the food jokes, m’kay?

But this brings about another question: Boll is claiming to have the first supersize superhero (which, no). I somehow doubt that Blubberella will represent the hope of the fatosphere quite the same as the X-Men’s Storm or John Stewart from the Green Lantern are role models as black superheroes.  In fact, I think if I had to pick from the options offered, I’d exchange Blubberella for Fat Momma, doughnuts and all.

I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

Oh, before you get upset about this, you should know that Kelly insists that she doesn’t hate fat people, and in fact, has some friends who are pudgy, so really, it’s because she cares so much about our health. Oh, ok then! She also offers the advice that if we exercised more and ate whole foods, we’d lose weight in a jiffy.  Fat people never do any of those things! Maura Kelly saves the day! As usual, my hardcore crush Lesley nails it:

…you’re not required to find all fat people attractive, certainly, but Kelly’s comments above are dehumanizing and offensive and really have no place associated with a widely-read publication such as Marie Claire. This is not simply because their candor subverts the standard feel-good ladymag message of “Love yourself! (But not too much!)” but because sentiments like those expressed in Kelly’s post are bad for everyone: they make fat people feel terrible about themselves, and they make thin people terrified of becoming one of those disgusting fatties they so revile.

After reading Ms. Kelly’s blurb on her alumni website, I was most struck by this paragraph:

She struggled with anorexia growing up and credits the psychologists who worked with her for helping her to overcome the disorder. She was so thankful to her psychologists that she decided to major in psychology at Dartmouth so she could one day help others in the same way. Upon graduation, Kelly reread Catcher in the Rye and decided that being a psychologist no longer appealed to her and what she really wanted to do was write a book that would “make people feel less alone in the world.”

After reading the comments on the Marie Claire blog (seriously, go read them and cheer), I feel bad for Kelly. Her sizist screed against fat has obviously more to do with her own eating disorder (which she wrote about and examined in depth in this NYTimes article) and body dysmorphia than any actual concern for the health and welfare of her common man.  Check out her anecdote where  man told her that she looked “athletic” and she mentally twisted it into being called fat. Also, I’m absolutely betting that the next time she bumps into Marie Claire’s pet plus-sized columnist Ashley Falcon in the elevator, it’s going to be awwwwkward!

Good luck with that making “people feel less alone in the world” thing, Maura! You certainly have bonded the fatosphere in outrage and disbelief.

Cooks require heft, to prove they eat their own creations….It’s not just the skinny women chefs. I don’t trust skinny male chefs either, especially if they’re dressed like teenage vampires in “Twilight” with their skinny black jeans and tight T-shirts and ample hair product. When I think of a chef I can trust, I think of cooks with gravitas, some weight on their bones, women who clearly are no strangers to the knife and fork.

Before you start thinking about this being a win for fat acceptance, think again: I don’t care if it’s disregarding Beth Ditto on the runway because she’s over size 12 or disregarding Padma Lakshmi because she’s under size 12, it’s still sizism no matter how you slice it.  Sure, fats are getting the positive assumption that they are more competent when it comes to food, but it’s just as damaging as assuming an athlete is stupid or a gay person is good with fashion. And the assumption that you’re such a good chef that you can’t stop eating your own creations is insulting at best, not to mention the bad reasoning that fat OR thin chefs are only eating their own food. Certainly, we can point to some anecdotal evidence to support the stereotype of a great chef at a higher BMI but we can just as easily point out situations to the opposite. For every Mario Batali, there’s a Grant Achatz who is amazing in the kitchen (trust me, the man’s food is perfection)!

What do you guys think? Do you distrust thin chefs? The comments are dying for some juicy morsels!

1. From Feed Me: Fat women are paid less than men in the workplace. So obviously, we should lose weight. Wait, what?

Fat women are paid less than women who aren’t fat; fat men, on average, earn comparable salaries to men who aren’t fat. So women are penalized by employers for being fat… All the young women who don’t identify as feminists because they don’t have to fly that flag anymore should take note of studies like this one. Gender discrimination is alive and well in 21st-century America.

But that’s not where the writer of this story went. No, her conclusion was quite different. She wrote, “It’s bad news, but maybe it will help fund better prevention strategies and new treatment methods for this growing scourge.”

Excuse me? Did I hear you right? The answer to discrimination is getting rid of the quality that’s being discriminated against?

2. From Already Pretty: the problem with “she shouldn’t wear that.”

[S]tylistic shoulds and shouldn’ts reinforce the idea that there are absolute rights and wrongs in clothing choices, tastes, and body shapes. Saying a woman “shouldn’t” wear something because of her figure supports the idea that there is one way to look good. And there isn’t. In fact, women who push social comfort levels with their stylistic choices may gradually force the observing public to accept that. Although some may prefer that women with cellulite conceal it, women with bony clavicles mask them, and women with zits apply cover-up, each woman is entitled to make her own choices.

3. The theme of the comp class I’m teaching this semester is feminism (actually, I told them it was unofficially called “F the Patriarchy”—it’s led to some terrific debate and discussion) and I shared this tidbit from Shakesville with them the other day. A headline reads “Man badly burned when girlfriend’s house set on fire” when, in actuality, he was her ex-boyfriend and stalker. And oh yeah, he set the fire.

[A]n amazing example of how violence against women is minimized in news reporting… the violent stalker is badly burned. His intended victims, who merely were doused with gasoline and terrorized, are OK.

4. From Womanist Musings: Gabourey Sidibe as “Mammy.”

There can be no denial that there are some people who will look at Gabourey and see mammy smiling back at them both consciously and unconsciously, yet that is not a function of her, but a function of Whiteness. When we use fat hatred to claim that her success is obscuring the talents of other Black women, we are only playing into the divisive strategy that Whiteness has long used to control people of colour. Even the Black women that some believe are deserving of greater accolades, are still perceived by Whiteness as fitting into either the jezebel or sapphire trope, and therefore; the way to divest ourselves of these horrible caricatures, is not to further demean another Black woman, but to defeat the idea that any of these labels are representative of Black womanhood. The entity that needs to disappear is mammy and not Gabourey.

5. Terrific satirical essay from Lesley about the importance of the “suffering ween.”

The sight of fat women is a heavy cross said men must bear every moment they step out into the public spaces where people congregate, be they city streets or shopping malls or public transportation or the dentist’s office. Their eyes burning as though filled with a raging fire, their inability to control their speech — the inescapable, uncontrollable need to instruct the offending woman on the pain she is selfishly causing them — this is hardly their fault! They must say something, in the hope that their words will drive the fat woman back into the shadows and thereby cause the unthinkable torture being imposed upon their enfeebled weens to finally relent. They cannot be responsible for the things they say and do while in such agony. We cannot rightly blame them when it is men, and the relative rigidity of their supremely important peckers, who are being attacked here, attacked by fat women who dare to allow themselves to be seen.

Pretty awesome collection of links, am I right? Let’s discuss in the comments!

…One in four female characters was depicted in “sexy, tight, or alluring attire,” compared with one in 25 male characters. The female characters were also more likely than men to be beautiful, and one in five were “portrayed with some exposed skin between the mid-chest and upper thigh regions.” Because you wouldn’t want to take on the world without baring your midriff—girl power! (Another study found, troublingly, that women in G-rated films wear the same amount of skimpy clothing as women in R-rated films.) One in four women was shown with a waist so small that, the authors concluded, it left “little room for a womb or any other internal organs.” Maybe we could carry them in our purses?

No wonder young girls are reporting body image issues earlier and earlier.  Not only are fat females treated by the filmmakers as lesser or non-sexual grandmothers, but the girls we’re supposed to emulate are hyper-sexualized with giant Hentai eyes and Angelina Jolie pouts. And to think we all blamed Bratz dolls!

You know, I honestly cannot think of a sympathetic fat female human character in an animated kid’s movie.  There were fat people in Wall-E, of course, but it was pretty offensive stereotyping.  I think Mrs. Potts eventually turns into a fat human, but for the majority of Beauty and the Beast, she’s tableware.  Arguably, one of Sleeping Beauty’s fairy friends is a plus-sized fairy, but that movie is old than my grandmother. Likewise, Hyacinth the Hippo. Dora the Explorer isn’t a svelte lass, but she’s also like six. And there are never fat princesses.

Then there’s Ursula the Sea Witch. Love her.

You know, she’s the first fat villian who really has some power. The other fat girls in Disney movies are either fairy godmothers (who twitter a lot) or singing teapots. Up until Ursula, the female villians were all tall, angular women with pinched faces (Cruella DeVille; the Wicked StepMother in Snow White; the aunt with the Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp; Maleficient, who is also awesome for rocking that head gear) and she ends up embodying ultimate power (and, you know, getting stabbed by a boat, but whatevs).

But the fact remains that Ursula is still evil, and definitely not sympathetic. In fact, the only plus-sized female main character in recent memory is Princess Fiona, who is introduced to us first as being thin and Cameron Diaz-y and then her plus-size state is explained by her having been cursed. Seriously. Cursed! And the only reason she ends up being ok with her state is the fact that her man loves her best when she’s all green and belchy.

Let’s discuss in the comments!

2. Levi’s has come out with new “Curve ID” jeans, with different cuts similar to the Lane Bryant Right Fit concept. They go up to a size 24.

3. Making space for all kinds of bodies when we talk about body image, from Disabled Feminists. The post also addresses the idea of making space for those who don’t love their bodies at all. A thought-provoking read.

4. 500-pound teen dies in a fire when fire crews are unable to lift her. Heather, who sent in the article, pointed out how hateful the comments are in response to this tragedy, with references to her “eating herself to death.” Ugh.

5. Shapely Prose officially shuts its doors, and Kate Harding talks about her plans for the future. The end of an era!

Want to talk about any of this stuff? I know I do! Let’s take it to the comments!

Linda Holmes at NPR:

It has a lot of dumb jokes and broad (har har) portrayals, and everyone in the writers’ room should do 20 laps for the moment where two fat guys don’t know enough not to wedge themselves into a stairwell (a joke worthy of Saved By The Bell) and 25 more for a busted-furniture joke.

That stuff absolutely has to stop if the show is going to improve, both because it’s embarrassingly lazy and because it’s less observant about weight issues than some other nice moments in the opener. See, a guy like Mike is bound to be acutely aware of himself and is highly unlikely to cavalierly lean on tables. That’s not a “don’t make fun” killjoy thing; that’s a character thing. The cheap visuals are hard to resist, of course, but they must be resisted when they interfere with what is otherwise, surprisingly enough, a pretty human picture of these two people.

Dan Fienberg (co-signed by Alan Sepinwall) at Hitfix:

There are two different shows at war in the pilot for “Mike & Molly.”

One is a surprisingly sensitive, occasionally funny character study about two people who have had struggles in their lives, but now have maybe found a life partner. It’s not that you ever forget that the characters in this version of the story are overweight. No, the majority of the punchlines are still girth-based, but the gags rarely seem malicious and the tone of the comedy stems from welcome and familiar interaction with friends and loved ones. That is to say that there are definitely fat jokes, but they’re sheltered within a safe space.

In this show, Gardell and McCarthy are excellent…

In [the other] version of “Mike & Molly,” our female lead is introduced comically and frantically and somewhat humiliatingly working out to the blaring strains of “Brick House.” That version has one table destroyed and another upended by Mike’s inconvenient heft. That version has a ridiculous scene in which two Overeaters Anonymous members literally get stuck in a stairwell because they’re walking side-by-side.

I think that there’s less of this “Mike & Molly” than there is of the good version, but this is the version that the studio audience (sweetened laugh track) seems to most enjoy and this is the version that probably will stand out as the most memorable. This is the version about two fat people, who happen to be in love. This is the version that’s laughing at its main characters and not with them.

Feinberg also adds this:

If you have a comedy about any group of people who aren’t represented extensively on television, you probably don’t want to be laughing *at* them. Beyond just being smug and insufferable, you’re pigeon-holding the totality of a group’s representation down to being the subject for mockery. It’s here that one sadly needs to point out that in TV comedy, just about anybody who isn’t pretty, thin, white and middle-to-upper class is under represented. We’ve advanced a tiny bit from the days where the cast of “Friends” could wander around New York City for over a decade and meet roughly two people who didn’t look exactly like them, but not very far.

It’s great that the critics seem to be calling the show out on its fatism, and pointing towards some of the show’s possibilities for a positive representation of fat people. So will you be watching it? (I, sadly, will be working tonight and will miss both it and How I Met Your Mother.) If so, come back and let us know what you think!