On the new cover…the editors did everything they could to obscure what her body actually looks like. Her right arm is totally invisible and much of her left arm has been cropped out. A yellow dot strategically obscures the area where her butt meets her lower back and white pants against a white background make her legs almost invisible.

According to Jezebel, SELF admitted the photoshopping… while also touting Clarkson as “a great role model for women of all sizes.” Nice hypocrisy there, SELF! Here is the quote from the editor in chief (brackets mine):

“Kelly Clarkson exudes confidence [despite the fact that she is not skinny enough for our cover], and is a great role model for women of all sizes [including you, fattie, so buy our magazine] and stages of their life [sic]. She works out and is strong and healthy [which means she should be skinnier, so we fixed that], and our picture shows her confidence [that media outlets like us are doing our damndest to erase] and beauty. She literally [not literally] glows from within. That is the feeling we’d all want to have. We love this cover [buy our magazine] and we love Kelly Clarkson [more when she is skinny].”

Kelly herself, inside the magazine, says “My happy weight changes… Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time. When people talk about my weight, I’m like, ‘You seem to have a problem with it; I don’t. I’m fine!’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable on the red carpet or anything.” I hope she can keep that mentality going in the face of crap like this from the likes of SELF. And Margaret at Jezebel sums it up well:

Danziger is is right: Kelly Clarkson is a “great role model for women of all sizes.” When the press goes after celebrities for gaining weight many apologize to the public, like Oprah Winfrey or Kirstie Alley, or frantically exercise and appear on the cover of Us flaunting their slimmed down selves like Jennifer Love Hewitt. So far Clarkson has only declared that she’s OK with her body and backed her statements up by performing in clothing that exposes her figure, rather than hiding under billowy outfits. Of course, now Clarkson has appeared with a newly-slim body on the cover of Self, but it’s a decision the editors made for her, rather than a message she wanted to put out herself.

I wonder if Kelly minds the photoshopping this time?

Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly
Originally uploaded by mo pie

But not only did they photoshop the album cover, she doesn’t mind. She even says so on her blog:

we decided the cover of the album and just in case you haven’t seen it i’ll post it! it’s very colorful and they have definitely photo-shopped the crap out of me but i don’t care haha! whoever she is, she looks great ha!

Oh dear. I mean it’s nice that she’s saying “hey, this isn’t me” but at the same time, I wish she wasn’t being put in that position in the first place. mamaVISION points out one of the other downsides:

Wouldn’t you feel weird cruising around town having people see you in real life and think ing”Wow, she doesn’t look like that cover? She sure as hell is not as pretty.”

Allowing this fake-ery (if that is even a word) is just asking for it. Asking for criticism. Inviting public analysis. And generally just, well, an unwise move.

I lived this crap and it sucks. As a model, you have these amazing pictures produced of yourself. It made me feel like an impostor. The model version becomes your evil twin. The one everyone thinks you are…but are then disappointed when they see the real you.

I mean don’t get me wrong, I love Kelly and am going to buy the hell out of this album immediately. And a certain degree of photoshopping is of course inevitable. But my god people, can we let a gorgeous and curvy girl be gorgeously curvy for once?

There are some things in life you don’t want to be too good at. One is eating, because….well… you get fat. Take Kelly Clarkson for example: You’re hanging out with your friends in the Bahamas on Sunday, but you realize you aren’t the sex symbol you once were. My bad, she was never a sex symbol, but you know what I mean. If you’re wondering why you have more cellulite than that hippo wearing a one piece bathing suit, it may be the 17 hot dogs you forgot to throw up. fatty.

This comment is gross on so many different levels, it kind of makes me want to throw up. At least some people don’t mind seeing Kelly dig into a hot dog. And this week, one of the Best Week Ever guys pointed out that “you don’t have to be an Olsen twin to be hot” when they showed a clip of Kelly bouncing around on Ellen.

She really is adorable. And I hope she doesn’t let these worthless, petty people make her feel like she needs to lose one ounce, or change one bit. God, I should totally get tickets to her tour.

Poor Kirstie Alley is facing yet another weight loss scandal. This time, her reported 74-pound weight loss on the Jenny Craig program has left her with sagging skin on her stomach. She’d like to get it removed with surgery, but unfortunately can’t – it would break her contract with Jenny Craig. Her contract with them clearly forbids “any surgery of any kind”.

Except, now I see that the Skinny Website is really all about being Skinny. They posted an adorable picture of Kelly Clarkson with the comment that she has “totally let herself go.” Gross. Nevermind.

Oh, and per IMDB, Courtney Love is talking about her weight loss in more detail:

[S]he achieved her new look thanks to 1,200-calorie Isopure shakes and fish and vegetables. And her willpower was helped by her determination to squeeze into a pair of Todd Lynn trousers, which she wore to a Beverly Hills party on Monday night. She told People magazine, “They’re Todd Lynn, they’re sample size, they’re from the runway.” Love also explained why gastric surgery wasn’t an option for her: “I’m not eligible for that. It’s illegal for me to get that. You have to be 100 pounds overweight, you have to be grossly obese.”

It is hard to keep up with all this celebrity gossip! Phew! Fortunately, the tabloids only care about women gaining and losing weight, otherwise it would be twice as hard. Oh, I’m sorry, was that sarcasm that slipped out right there?