Who were these “flabulous” celebrities? Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Britney, Kirstie Alley, and Snooki. I mean, seriously. Did you doubt they would all be women? Plus, they sent me some accompanying photos showing the offenses, and they all looked like this. Where’s the “love handles” on Beyonce? Not that there’s anything wrong with “love handles,” Jesus. At least they have a cute name.

2. Okay, here’s a link, and it’s a good one: the “obesity stigma” is not actually helpful. Well, no effing duh. Which is basically what The Well-Rounded Mama says:

I suppose I should be grateful that someone is taking time to disprove the kinds of lame claims that more stigma is needed, not less. On the flip side, though, is that while they are concerned about the negative effects of obesity stigma on fat people, the big concern is that this stigma gets in the way of obesity intervention efforts…

But at least they are saying something against obesity stigma and countering the usual nonsense out there. It just amazes me that some idiots can actually believe that obesity stigma is really an effective tool for health improvement.

3. Another good one: obesity ills are “a myth” according to an Ohio State University study, via Big Fat Blog.

“There is a myth going on. Our findings show being overweight is no different from being what we believe is a healthy weight and this is across a person’s entire lifespan. For college-age adults, this should help them realize that they don’t have to worry so much if they have a BMI of 27 or 28. Some young people with these BMIs feel like, ‘I’m going to have all these problems, I need to try 50 different diets.’ And what is all that stress and dieting doing to your body? Probably more damage than the extra 15 pounds is.”

4. I ran across a Listmania list on Amazon today called “Large-size heroines and more.” Leonard Nimoy, The Gossip, and Nikki Blonsky are all represented, as are some projects I’d never heard of, such as an anthology called Such A Pretty Face…

Each tale has a plus-sized heroine or hero, ranging from a mermaid to a fairy-tale princess.

As well as a guide for plus-sized brides, some Fat Studies readers, and a UK series called Fat Friends.

I can’t vouch for level of empowerment each thing on the list has–for instance, I know Queen Sized was problematic, and there’s a weight loss memoir on there from someone named Michelle McManus, who won Pop Idol in the UK–but there were enough interesting things listed that I figured I’d pass it along.

5. Finally, 340 (and counting) blogs have been added to the comprehensive Fierce Freethinking Fatties Feed, and there are sub-feeds like Fat Acceptance, Fatshion, and Political Allies. (And other sub-feeds that do allow diet talk, so click those with caution.) If you want to find some new reading material or to add your blog to one of those feeds, check it out. Thanks for the heads up, Shannon!

I get a lot of press releases… no, a lot. Most of them are for weight-loss products, so that’s a delightful waste of time. Today I got one about a diet plan, so I deleted it, but the first paragraph was interesting. (The headline, clearly capitalizing on the fact that people seem to inexplicably care about Jon Gosselin, was “Jon Loses Kate And Packs On 8…Pounds.”)

While it’s sad when a relationship comes to an end, it is not the time to turn to Ben & Jerry’s, french fries and beer. Recently single celebrity dads including Jon Gosselin, Kevin Federline and Brendan Frasier have been turning heads lately for their slightly rounder figures.

Have they been? All I’ve seen lately is Jessica Simpson and her 10 pound weight loss that supposedly means “her sexy body is back.” Just so I’m clear on the math here, plus 10 pounds: not sexy. Minus 10 pounds: SEXY. Charming. Apparently the article is even worse:

Here’s how it starts: “Until recently, it seemed you couldn’t have a strawberry festival or a chili cook-off without Jessica Simpson showing up to take the stage…” Sources say that Jess has “already peeled off” 10 pounds in ten days. And the story is called her “revenge bikini diet.” The mag says “She doesn’t want to be an even larger target” and “she doesn’t want to play the role of pitiful plump punchline any longer.”

Eyeroll. Also making me roll my eyes: someone is going to pay Kevin Federline $2.5 million to endorse a diet pill. I guess gaining weight can be a smart move sometimes, if you’re famous.

Which tabloid-favorite actress is purposefully packing on the pudge so she can launch her own weight loss line? She’s hoping to lose the first 20 pounds quickly, and cash in by following the “miracle” in a series of infomercials.

I have to say this is a pretty clever plot, and will probably work. But WHO IS IT? The folks at Blind Item Rehash are guessing Kirstie Alley, but I really doubt it. She’s already done the Jenny Craig thing, and her weight fluctuates; this seems really unlikely to be her. But beyond that, I don’t really have a guess. Someone not vain about gaining twenty pounds (so, unlikely to be Heidi Montag) but someone who needs cash… hmm.

This also reminded me how shady all of these weight loss infomercials are. I told this story way back in the early days of this blog, but here it is again:

An acquaintance of mine was tapped to appear in an infomercial for a “miracle” exercise product. They dressed him up in oversized pants, lit him unflatteringly, and had him stand with his belly pooched out and a mildly depressed look on his face. This was the “before” picture. Then they took him into another room, spray-tanned him, dressed him up, changed the lighting, and had him suck in his stomach and grin like hell. Voila! The “after” picture!

If it seems to good to be true…

Alyssa Caplan at AC360 has had it with bashing the “Hollwood fat”:

I tuned out when “unflattering” photos of Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love Hewitt surfaced on vacation, or when Britney Spears weight gain inspired teams of professionals dissecting photos, but never has this beloved pasttime of over-zealous armchair weight watching felt more out of place. Perhaps it’s a side effect of the recent culmination of a year of 24-7 “change” rhetoric being piped in to my ear, or the soberness I feel on the heels of record job loss numbers, but for some reason, today was the day when I could no longer stomach the particularly mean-spirited headlines and zings thrown around with reckless abandon accompanying someone’s appearance. The line of absurdity was definitely crossed for me on this one, and not just because I feel a little robbed of what could have been a celebrated moment since I do tend to believe (as friends of the singer allege) she wasn’t very happy keeping her weight at a rib-popping low.

And Ashlee Simpson-Wentz similarly defended her sister, taking a stand on her blog:

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard… How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

In the comments, Lady Diane pointed out this article, which has a slightly different take:

I’m not telling you never to gain 10 or 15 pounds. I’m not saying that only skinny women deserve love. No no no. That misses the point. I’m saying don’t be like Jessica Simpson. You know, don’t be a no-talent shell of a celebrity with absolutely nothing going for you aside from your kicking body. Because guess what? Once that body goes, and it will go (as surely as Jessica goes for the last remaining Twinkie in her Costco-sized package of Hostess treats), you’ll be nothing.

I’m tempted to dismiss this whole “humor” article because of things like “ha ha, she gained weight because sh wolfed down Twinkies!” and similar asinine comments sprinkled throughout. But I do think the point—that she’s traded on her “hot body” for years and has no other talent, and that girls should aspire to do more with their lives—might not be completely worthless.

Wait, no, I take it back. After thinking about it for 45 seconds, I’ve decided that even vapid Jessica Simpson doesn’t deserve to be mocked (and accused of binging on McDonald’s and Twinkies, my god, will that well ever go dry?) for gaining a few pounds.

Oh my god, am I… do I… agree with Ashlee Simpson? Well, “Pieces of Me” is a really awesome song. Team Ashlee it is!

Don’t get me wrong, I certainly enjoy looking at pictures of, say, George Clooney and Iman. And it’s not as if there are a million Nikki Blonskys and Beth Dittos out there in the world. And yet… somehow I expected it to be less blatant. Because I’m super naive, I guess! Anyway, here are the pages I dog eared. Pretend we’re sitting together outside a coffee shop, sipping iced coffees, bitching about how annoying this magazine is.

Page 16: A photo of Jonah Hill jogging (before the “beautiful” section of the magazine starts, of course). Enjoy the sight of a fat person, because it’s basically the only one in this entire magazine.

Page 19-21: A three-page “bikini challenge” ad for anti-cellulite cream that is “the difference between worrying about cellulite and not having to” (because you used the cream and got rid of it). Let me save you five bucks, or however much this cream costs you: those aren’t your only two choices.

Page 69: Article about the issue’s cover girl, Kate Hudson. Definitely beautiful, no arguments there, but also blonde, blue-eyed, and slender. Also in this issue: Kristen Bell, Taylor Swift, Elizabeth Banks, Heidi and Lauren from The Hills, Carrie Underwood, Christina Applegate, Nicole Kidman, Jessica Simpson, Blake and Taylor from Gossip Girl, Sandra Lee, and Heather Locklear (among others). Hmm. Are you trying to tell us something, People?

Page 101: Queen Latifah! Oh wait, it’s a Jenny Craig ad. The premise of the ad is that your size isn’t important, you should just be a “size healthier” than you are now. Brilliant marketing, there, Jenny Craig. HEY WOMEN OF AMERICA! You are all exactly one size too big! Sorry!

Page 108: Sarah Silverman, talking about how Jimmy Kimmel grabs her “inner thigh fat” and says how much he likes it, even though she hates it. So there is one point in favor of this magazine, because that’s cute.

Page 110: An eye-catching ad for Curvation featuring a full-figured woman in lingerie and Christian Louboutins with some sexy ad copy. It is genuinely awesome and positive, and if we hadn’t seen Curvation founder Queen Latifah advertising Jenny Craig a few pages ago, this would be even better.

Page 154: Queen Latifah again, in the magazine this time, in a section about celebrities who have charitable causes. This is the only plus-sized person on the list of 100 beautiful people, and keep in mind, she was in a diet ad in the same magazine! I also feel compelled to note that she is wearing sequins.

Page 175: A chart showing “beauty at every age,” with 10 people each listed for the 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. So that’s 40 people in this little sample size. They are all women. Jennifer Hudson is the only one even remotely plus-sized.

So what have we learned? That only women of color are plus-sized? That being blonde, blue-eyed and thin is the best way to be beautiful? That People is every bit as vapid as you thought it was? That you’re a size too big and have cellulite? That, if you’re overweight, you have a 99% chance of not being considered “beautiful”?

How about all of the above?

[I]t’s pretty easy to lose weight fast when you never have to count a calorie on your own, or craft your own workouts, or, you know, be anywhere else but the gym. “The reality is… that anyone could lose weight quickly if that was their job.”

And when all else fails, some stars simply opt to starve. “Celebrities know that they are under a microscope, so they go to extreme, unhealthy measures to quickly lose weight,” says trainer Jim Karas, who has trained many stars, including Hugh Jackman for the third X-Men installment. “Trust me. I’ve seen it thousands of times.”

Just a nice reminder that you shouldn’t judge yourself next to, say, Jessica Simpson (according to her, she works out five days a week for two hours a day). Of course, if you want to try dieting like a celebrity for a while, you can always hire a personal chef and follow these weight loss tips from Michael George:

George suggested [Reese] Witherspoon start eating one or two servings of fruits and veggies from each of six color groups: green, red, blue, purple, yellow and orange.

Wait…blue? What fruits and veggies are blue?