When someone is fat shamed, the person doing the shaming often justifies it as them being concerned for the fat person’s health. Of course we know that’s bullshit. Fatphobia has nothing to do with health, if someone was really concerned they wouldn’t harp on it to the detriment of fat people’s self esteem. And a ton of fat people can attest that they eat healthily and exercise. I however, cannot. So is the health argument justified in my case? Well, no, because fat also has nothing to do with health. It’s the food I eat that’s the issue. It’s the fact that I eat when I’m definitely not physically hungry. It’s my lack of exercise.

I shouldn’t be expected to prove that oh well I’m trying really hard not to be fat but OMG I’m still fat so leave me alone! If I’m fat by design then so fucking what, I’m “choosing to be fat”. Of course I would still be fat if I ate well, didn’t overeat and exercised, though I might be less fat. But guess what, I don’t really give a shit right now. I am the stereotypical lazy fat person, and I have a right to be that if I damn well please. I’m not repping for the entire FA movement. I’m not trying to set an example. And really, if it’s unacceptable to be a non-HAES fat then how can we say we’re accepting fat? We’re only accepting it if you make sure to do everything right but are still fat? We say fat isn’t a choice. Is it wrong if it is? I’ve gained roughly 10 pounds or so (I’m guessing by the way my clothes fit) since my surgery simply because I’ve chosen to not follow the rules. But that’s my choice and I am sure as shit not going to be shamed by either HAES enthusiasts or bigoted fatphobes.

In response to the comments at Jezebel, Tasha has posted a followup that’s also worth reading:

I’m sorry if you feel like my wanton gluttony is making your fat friends look bad because they exercise and eat right and here I am, blowing it for them, being the stereotype they try so hard not to be. My point was that, again, FAT PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO OUTLINE THE WAYS THEY’RE TRYING TO NOT BE FAT, OR THE MEASURES THEY TAKE TO COUNTER THE ILLEGITIMATE CLAIMS THAT FAT = UNHEALTHY.

Right after I read this, we got a comment that I considered unapproving. But instead I think it fits right into this conversation, because it outlines helpfully outlines exactly what kind of fat people we’re allowed to be.

MY support is with those overweight people who will not quit and whose attitude shines with optimism and a desire to become healthy people-inside and out. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!!

That’s right–as Kirstie Alley and Carnie Wilson have shown us time and time again, we’re allowed to be overweight as long as we “never quit” trying, publicly and vocally, to be thinner. As long as we stay on the merry-go-round of dieting, and publicize how well we eat and how much we exercise. And it’s the best first line of defense against a lot of people–it shuts people up. Yeah I’m fat, but… (but I exercise four days a week, but I’m a vegan, but I never eat fast food, but I take a dance class, but but…)

What if the real answer is: yeah, I’m fat. And so what?

ETA: A follow-up by Snarky’s Machine that’s also well worth reading.

Why he went on the show:

[I]t was just about the life experience. When else is someone going to hand me money to and pay me to lose weight? And It’s driving a lot of people to my site who had never been to my site before and they get to see my stuff. Fuck it, I want to have life experiences. I had a paid vacation in L.A. where all I had to do was work out and get every meal delivered to my front door for 3 months. I mean, who wouldn’t want to do that?

I love when celebrities articulate the realities of their weight loss. Because for a lot of these celebs (especially ones who have babies and then are on the cover of magazines a week and a half later all, “How She Dropped The Baby Weight!”) weight loss becomes their entire job. A chef makes them food, and all they have to do all day is work out. Jay McCarroll doesn’t usually have that life, but a lot of celebrities do. So his outside-looking-in perspective is interesting to me.

On being back in the real world:

Now it’s just a matter of finding a balance. Because I’m back in a world that has bread.I know I’m never going to be 150 pounds and I’m never going to have a six-pack and I needed to get over that.

On making his weight a public issue:

Oh, yeah. People have been very positive about it. That’s the only thing that worries me. You’re a public figure and you lose weight on television and everyone’s happy for you and then you gain the weight back and it’s a whole other story.I don’t want that to happen. I also know reality, like today I had a six-hour meeting about my new fabric line and I didn’t have time to like, sit down and have grilled salmon and then head off to the gym. I was occupied with other things. Now it’s a matter of working it deeply into my schedule. I have to.

I think celebrities who lose weight on TV kind of make the proverbial deal with the devil. Because you have an audience, and people rooting you on, and then suddenly that audience feels ownership in your results. And so then you’re like Carnie Wilson or Kirstie Alley, constantly having to publicly humble yourself and beg forgiveness for gaining the weight back.

And finally, on the fashion world:

You don’t feel beautiful, but you feel drawn to beautiful things and you want to make beautiful things and have beautiful things all around you so people won’t notice that you’re not beautiful. That’s where I ended up. I wanted to be in a place where I felt like I could add beauty to the world because I felt like I had no beauty to offer the world myself. But then getting to that track in fashion and getting to that place where what is considered beautiful is completely repulsive to me, i.e., Kelly Cutrone and her world, there’s nothing beautiful about that. It isn’t real. Fashion week and all that stuff, when you’re a fat teenager, that’s what you aspire toward.

But when you’re an adjusted 30 year old, that stuff doesn’t look beautiful anymore. And that’s just how I feel about it. It’s just a circus of dysfunctional fucking people who have low self esteem and body image issues. Fashion is full of people who drink coffee and smoke cigarettes for a meal.

My dream is still for Jay to go out and do a plus-sized line. Because come on, how fabulous would that be?

The Wilson Phillips singer, who currently weighs 212 lbs. despite undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 1999, tells People Magazine, “I need help.”

I keep thinking of how celebrities are allowed to be fat if they’re also very apologetic about it. (At least we have Gabourey Sidibe on Team Unapologetic.) It’s the same dynamic behind The Biggest Loser: beat yourself up, and we’ll forgive you for being fat. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

“I have to be a teacher to my daughters…Lola [her four-year-old daughter] started to notice commercials on TV with people who are trying to lose weight, and she looks at me. She’s thinking about this stuff, and it’s getting to her.”

Here’s where I want to shake her, because I’m afraid for this poor four-year-old of hers, watching weight loss commercials and hearing her mother constantly apologizing for her size. I don’t think you’re teaching your daughters the right thing unless you teach them to love themselves. Please, please, whatever else you do, teach them that.

1. “Carnie Wilson’s War” (with video from the Tyra Banks show, of course) is Carnie’s battle with her weight after her highly publicized weight loss surgery.

2. Britney Spears is on the Posh Spice diet (water with lemon, steamed fish, edamame, and seaweed) and has gone from a size 14 to a size 10!

3. Oprah has gained weight again!

From that last post:

I hate how we are so quick to pay attention to how much weight everyone loses and gains. I know, Oprah has tons of money and I’m really not a big fan… Nonetheless, money or not, she has the same body issues many of us “normal” women have — probably moreso because she’s constantly being scrutinized by people. When she loses weight, people give her a hard time. When she gains it, people give her a hard time and laugh at her. It’s sad. Maybe I’m just sensitive, but I really hate seeing people being judged by their weight — fat, skinny, whatever.

I don’t want to point out again that all of the posts I ran across today were about women. But, oops, I guess I just did!