“You’re Fat, Your Car Sucks, I’m A Jackass”
This nasty piece of Fatism in the Wild comes from Portland, Oregon. Rose sent in her story, including a picture of the insulting note that was left on her sister’s car. I can’t believe anyone would write a note like this based on someone happening to legally park, one time, in front of their house. But maybe if she were thinner, or had a nicer car, she’d be allowed to park there!
Bolding, and vague feeling of pissed-off nausea, mine.
I am sharing this in the hope you will post it in your blog.
My sister, a person of size, was spending the weekend with me. She legally parked on the street across from my house because she’d come from that direction.
She & I later went out for a walk and she found this hateful note on her car from my neighbor across the street, whom I’ve never spoken to. I’ll note that hers was the only car parked on the street (either side) for 3 whole blocks, and there was easily room for another 5 cars in these people’s driveway. Plus there’s the little detail that she was parked legally on a public street.
Here’s what the note says:
To the idiot owner of the green Pontiac:
I realize that you’re probably too busy stuffing your face to care, but we are a busy house, car-wise. We have 4 cars, an office that sees clients here, and a new baby. When you park your P.O.S. car in the center of our house, you get in our way. This is valuable parking space for us, so move your car further forward to under the treee, or across the street where are all weekend long. I figured that a fatty like you would want to park as close as possible to your destination anyway! Please keep your car away from in front of our house, or we will block you every time you park there. K? thanks!Needless to say my sister was completely mortified by this rudeness, and we were both perplexed why she was being criticized for both being too fat and parking farther away than necessary. I hope I can shame and embarrass them the way they shamed and embarrassed my sister.
The note itself is after the jump. Has this ever happened to you? How would you react? Is there anything Rose and her sister can do to feel better? And how big of a jackass is this person, seriously?
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Fatism
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I would definitely check out the zoning ordinances for the area. If this area is zoned residential, they might be in violation by running a business out of the home. If they are seeing clients on the premises, then they generally won’t qualify for a “home office” exemption.
But, yeah, first thing, find out if they actually wrote the note before actually taking action, but have all of your ducks in a row so you can unload on them if they did write it.
Dear god….can’t even deal with the fat aspect. We had lovely neighbors next door for ten years. They moved out and the new people sent us a very rude letter, requesting that we stop parking in front of their house. In fact, we parked in front of their house ONE DAY when we had our driveway filled with trucks for some renovation work being done inside.
What kind of nuts are these people? Public streets, public parking spaces. The “fat” comments take this from stupid and annoying to beyond the pale.
No suggestions…just sympathy. People can be jerks. *sigh*
Also wanted to add:
Everybody’s mother probably says this, but that’s because it’s true…
This kind of hatred is about the author of the note, not the intended recipient. In the months since we received that letter, we have heard constant yelling from the house next door. They are apparently very angry, unhappy people. Doesn’t make it any more pleasant to live next door to them, but at least we understand a little better…
Holy shit. I’d be in favor of checking in with a neighborhood association (if you have one) or checking with the cops, as that sounds like a pretty unstable neighbor. Most of all, what a shitty thing to have to deal with. The writer *definitely* sounds like they’re dealing (or not dealing) with a disorder of some kind, but that doesn’t make it any less horrible of an experience to go through.
What the hell? I agree with everyone who said this would make them park there every chance they got. What a hateful, immature response to what is absolutely NO affront at all – street parking is street parking, you don’t get to claim a spot just because it’s in front of your house. This person’s undeserved sense of entitlement bothers me as much as their fat hatred.
If you’d like, I could volunteer Mr. Twistie to park his 1988 Jeep Cherokee with the back end almost entirely plastered in bumper stickers for heavy metal bands. He and I would then happily sit on the hood and eat (my delicious home made) cake. Unfortunately, we might be too busy eating to wave much.
LOL, all these terrific suggestions are making me think we need some kind of fat mafia or gang to avenge slights like this one. :-) Like in this case we could arrange to park several cars in front of the house for weeks and weeks.
The Fat Mafia…LOVE it!!!!
One time a really random note was left behind on my car by someone who is clearly mental: http://www.flickr.com/photos/msyuppiescum/718889502/
Nothing to this degree, though. What weirdos!
I hope the offenders find themselves with a flaming bag of poo on their front doorstep.
I used to work for Goodyear and there is a tool called a “valve corer”. Now, why is a valve corer relevant in this discussion? Well let me tell you what it does.
1. Remove valve cap from tire
2. Insert corer and turn counterclockwise
3. Remove core
4. Feel the rubbery breeze on your face
5. Watch while they try to air their tire but find the air keeps coming out everytime they take the air hose off
6. Watch from the vantage point of your legally parked hood while eating cake
This causes no damage to the vehicle or the tires but certainly creates a tremndous amount of inconvenience.
Im just sayin’, it can work, trust me :)
OK, I’ve got it:
Someone (pick me!) should swing by and slap an “UPPITY FATTY” car magnet on the neighbor’s car bumper. It would be so sweet if she drove around town with it for a few days before she realized it was there.
YES! I have received a similar note. Only mine was even more public. I was driving to a Best Buy a few towns away (they had something another location didn’t, wev) and as I was merging into the exit only lane on the freeway this guy sees me merging and totally floors it towards me making me swerve back into the 1st lane and freaks me the hell out. I made it to my destination, parked, shopped and all was well. Until I got back out to my car. The note left said something to the effect of “Learn how to merge you fat bitch!” I was only mildly shaken, but still could not figure out how he managed to follow me (he exited before me obv.) and he was the one who almost literally pushed me out of the lane. Nuts!
Part of me really hopes that they confronted their neighbors.
I immediately counter that hope, though, with the realization that any asshole who would write this kind of note would gain/understand nothing if confronted about their totally inappropriate behavior.
My best wishes for the sister-of-size. It always sucks when you get anonymously attacked for your appearance, and non-fat people often don’t realize that randomly being verbally attacked (or in this case, in-writing) by complete strangers who have no reason to be bothered by your size happens much more often than they’d expect.
It reads like an entitled, young housewife. Call the cops, and if they don’t do anything, bring a witness (or two) and call her out on the unacceptable behavior. The street in front of a house belongs to the public/government, so she’s got no right whatsoever.
And I know a lot of people don’t agree with this, but I content that baby having does not and should not equate with special privileges extending beyond biological necessity.
Lmao@Gabby. I love it.
In all seriousness, I would call the police at a time when all the occupants of the house are home. I would have the officer explain to them that the parking is for everyone’s use and that the letter is a form of harrassment. I would also call whoever is in charge of zoning for the neighborhood and complain that the neighbors are running some sort of business out of their home causing a constant onslaught of traffic which makes it impossible to park. That the neighborhood is residential and not in a commercial zone. So that no one but the occupants of the house and neighborhood will be able to park there. Hasta la vista home business.
Totally off topic but: w00t Tagline. :D
I would post that note to passiveaggressivenotes.com! Seriously, some people should not be allowed to procreate.
I’m with those who think that the note may have been left by an ill-bred teenager. The tenor of the note seems decidedly juvenile to me. It would be better, therefore, to plan any reaction with this in mind, so as not to go too far overboard. But I certainly don’t think the incident should be ignored. And I’ll admit that some of the suggestions for revenge make me smile.
…Is Rose on here? Please, please tell me she and her sister gave the douchebags the shit they deserved. Please. It’s almost physically painful to me when douchebags don’t get pwnt the way they should be.
The direct insult was 100% inexcusible, but I can’t help but understand where that guy was coming from. My parents have a HUGE problem with people parking in front of their house to go to the bar across the street. Technically, it’s legal for these people to park in the street, since they’re parking on the outside of the curb, but it makes it impossible for any visitors to park in the parking space in front of my parents’ house. When I visit, I often have to drive two blocks away and park in a difficult-to-get-into, hard-to-see-oncoming-traffic, small public parking lot. If I’m lucky. If that lot is full as well, I have to drive all the way down to the beach and hike back up the hill. And all because some jackass decided he was entitled to block the parking to a private residence by parking in the street.
Sorry if this is a little rantish, but it is EXTREMELY frustrating when people do this.