You have to admire the creativity of PR people sometimes, desperately trying to shoehorn their products into stories about whatever might be making headlines, and then blindly sending those stories to bloggers whose blogs may or may not be at all related to the products they’re trying to sell. Here are some ridiculous pitches I’ve gotten recently.
“Betty White is going to host SNL. Will she wear a [Product Name] girdle? Been known to wear girdles daily, viewers are predicting she will host Saturday night’s show in one of today’s most scandalous fashions.”
Nice dangling modifier there, PR person. (That being said, girdle or no girdle, I’m going to be watching the hell out of SNL this weekend. And Betty White can do or say or wear whatever she wants! She’s a Golden Girl!)
“[Product Name] will established itself as one of the most sought after web sites that provides live feeds and information for people and the media to discover what the country really thinks about current issues. With the heartbreaking end to Kate Gosselin’s professional dance career on DWTS, many are wondering what will happen to the future of post-Kate Dancing With the Stars!”
It was heartbreaking, you guys. Didn’t your heart just break when Kate and her crappy dancing got voted off? Haven’t you been WONDERING ABOUT THE FUTURE ever since?? (The best part is that the website determined 67% of people thought the show would be fine. Okay then! PHEW! Guess we dodged that bullet, America!)
Parents and celebrities alike are turning to the [Product Name] to comfort their infant. Just look at the pages of this week’s People Magazine where you will find Sandra Bullock watching her new baby, Louis, sleep peacefully in a [Product]!
What does this have to do with my blog, anyway? Oh, apparently Marissa Janet Winkotur also uses [Product]. Okay then. Makes total sense!
[Product Name]’s “Pick an Idol” promotion may offer a glimpse into who might take the American Idol prize this season! Each week, the Idol with the most votes receives a complimentary bouquet of [Product] in a color selected by the fans. Since the promotion began, Crystal Bowersox has been near or at the top every week with Casey James, Lee Dewyze, Andrew Garcia and Katy Stevens also winning.
Yeah, how’s that working out for you, Andrew and “Katy”?
Weirdly, as rando as these press releases are, they all have one thing in common. I guess it’s true what they say: celebrities sell! Or at least, they try to.
Posted by mo pie