Hey, Karl Lagerfeld! You’re Kind of Sad
Do you remember when Karl Lagerfield was fat, and you got the feeling he sort of hated himself? He wore a lot of big, black clothes that covered him all the way up, and wandered around flapping a little fan in front of his face, in order, one assumes, to hide his double chin. It reminded me of myself in high school, where I would literally back out of rooms because I was afraid that someone would notice my ass, and the size of it, which I felt was all wrong and a terrible thing.
Uncle Karl then went on to lose 90 pounds or so with the help of a doctor and a lot of starvation, and the avoidance of exercise which only makes you hungry. Hunger is a terrible, terrible thing. So is being fat, says Uncle Karl. There’s a trend toward using less-skinny models in runway shows, and Karl doesn’t like it one bit. Karl, in fact, thinks that it is “absurd.”
“No one wants to see curvy women,” Lagerfeld said. “You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying thin models are ugly.” Fashion is about “dreams and illusions.”
Dreams and illusions! Ha! Oh Karl. You are an asshole. And you’re kind of an idiot, too. And you know, I was filled with rage when I first read your quote, but I think, in the end, I just feel kind of sorry for you. You used to smile a lot, when you were fat but still, I assume, eating things. And now I don’t remember the last time I saw you looking anything but grim. I’m sorry you’re hungry all the time, Karl, that you have to starve yourself to stay so thin and gaunt-looking and you suggest we all do the same in your diet book, that you seem to be a miserable, kind of creepy and grim old man who hates the person you used to be. I mean, a fan to hide your double chin. That’s pretty sad, Karl.
Your dreams and illusions, the ones where you are fabulous and elegant and enviably slim, they sure are hard to keep up with, aren’t they, Karl? Go have a bowl of low-sodium broth, Karl, and salt it with your tears.
Posted by jenfu
Filed under: Celebrities, Diet Talk Warning, Fashion, Fatism, Gossip, Humor, International, Media, Weight Loss
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Double chin? All these years I’d thought that Lagerfeld’s fan was just a silly queen’s quaint affectation. Had no idea it was part of such a sad, self-loathing personality. The man needs a good German dinner once in a while – THAT should make him smile again.
I only need to point out that your last sentence has made my day infinitely better! Art, pure art. :P
as i was reading your blog, i got an email. when i mouse-overed to see what it was….i started HOWLING with laughter. see, i get catalogs from the “living xl” company.
and the title of the email was “seat belt extenders let you travel in comfort”. it tickled my funnybone!
and as i’m another person who’s been urged for the band, i’ve enjoyed reading your posts on that. see…i’ve now got AMMO to use against my doctor (who is an otherwise lovely person) and his silly ideas. as if i’m not beautiful WITH this extra poundage!
kitten diva, strutting her stuff. ;)
What a douche!
jenfu, you rock!
Karl Lagerfeld is an insignificant worm. He’s courting some SERIOUSLY bad karma!
As offensive and completely politically incorrect his statements were, it really reflects what the fashion industry (especially high fashion) has been telling the American public for years. It’s what people like Ralph Lauren are not saying, but instead showing by photoshopping already slim and thin models. It’s what producers like Joss Whedon convey when his main character actresses all “just happen” to be a size 0.
At least he has the balls to actually say it, and not hide behind behind a false image of body positivity like Dove aka Unilever aka Axe *cough*
Ohhh, I wrote a post about this too! http://corpulent.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/no-one-wants-to-see-curvy-women/
“Go have a bowl of low-sodium broth, Karl, and salt it with your tears.” – That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve read all day. I’m going to shamelessly steal ‘salt it with your tears’.
He is bizarre on so many levels, but at least he is honest and doesn’t engage in doublespeak. At least his weight loss IS about fashion and he’s not pretending that it’s about having discipline or a brain or reaching one’s “full potential.” He doesn’t even pretend that it’s about health. So that’s a plus.
Here’s where Karl has it right and here’s where he’s screwy. He says fashion on superthin models is an illusion. That’s right. But he–and apparently a lot of other people–have decided that the “illusion”, photoshopped to funhouse mirror proportions, is how real people are supposed to look or be demeaned and made fun of. I would like to propose that we start making male models wear cod pieces again. And then make fun of Karl, etc, whose real “equipment” doesn’t match up to the plastic version.
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ok, here’s the thing, models are suppose to be coathangers for the clothes, they are suppose to make to clothes look good. When is the last time you seen a portly gal wear a babydoll dress without looking pregnant or wearing a frock without making it seem mumu-ish…exactly! Besides, why make it complicated for designers to dress accordingly to each model’s size, they have enough hard time with their skyscraper height. Stop looking at the models, look at the clothes, the design, the fashion! And put the donut down once in a while!