There is a reason for people to be the way they are, and people like me exist for some reason in world that absolutely hates fatness.

As a confirmed FA, I agree. As they say, “every pot has its lid” and “it takes all kinds to make the world go round.” What a boring world this would be if everyone were Barbie and Ken.

I don’t personally mind that my body type can be fetishized. I refuse to be treated in any manner just for my body, whether that treatment be seen as good or bad.

I have my own fetish so I know what it’s like to be aroused by something, even though you’re trying to control that feeling. In fact, the Tyra Show did a bit on my fetish too: Tickling. In my experience, when a person has a fetish, they can not control being aroused when they see, hear, smell, taste, touch that thing (or act in the case of paraphilias).

You also have to remember that when faced with a sexual preference you do not share, you’re going to react to it… it doesn’t mean you find it wrong or disgusting, it’s that you’re not familiar with it.

All in all, I think this show may have opened the door for people to see that, yeah, men do like fat women. We’re not sexless spinsters whose only lover is the potato chip bag. We have and enjoy sex. We get on top of the man sometimes! We are okay with who we are.

I’m not saying that it’s good or okay to put someone up there and display them as a freak with freak sexual fetishes and habits. I think that’s how it may have looked or even ended up… But I would rather look on the bright side.

I agree. Men and women who date or marry fat people because they don’t care about weight and can see other qualities in them which they’re attracted to should not be labeled chubby chasers or having a fetish.

Of course, we’ve been so conditioned to think of fat as physically gross, especially in women, that any man who isn’t fat and considered conventionally attractive that does want to be with a large woman simply because he wants to be is considered a freak.

Likewise, if it’s–as a previous poster said–coming across as something a guy wants to cross off his life list (sex with a genuine redhead, camp in the Sierra Nevada, sex with a fat brunette, buy my ideal sports car, sex with a . . . ), that is more shallow than fetishistic IMO. OTOH, “I first noticed her because she has exactly the kind of figure that makes me sweat, but dude, we _clicked_” is just the way people often meet.

ANYHOW, my feelings are in turmoil over this subject, which I think about a *lot.* I’m bisexual and while I don’t really have much of a physical look I am attracted to in guys (other than, well “normal.” It’s more intangible with men, I don’t automatically find a guy attractive if he has a certain hair color or build, though glasses are a definite plus) but with women there’s a definite type that I like, and I find it’s a source of a lot of guilt on my part; I am large, but visually I am more attracted to petite women. It drives me crazy, I feel like I’m objectifying women in the same way I try to rail against, but then again.. we can’t help what we’re attracted to, can we?

Anyway, I’ve never been one who wanted to be associated with “chubby chasers” or fat fetishists or whatever you want to call them; I like Fat Admirers. Anyway, that has always made me so uncomfortable; I feel like I don’t want someone telling me the things I hate about myself are attractive. I don’t want someone saying “I love how your butt jiggles,” you know? And maybe that’s just the crux of it; we spend so much time telling ourselves “These are the parts of us that suck” that it’s disconcerting and even a bit disturbing when someone is telling us they are attractive.

We’re all wired differently. It doesn’t mean I’m defective and you’re normal. It’s just who you are. Unless a person is shoving their fetish in your face or trying to convince you to do things you don’t want to do, then I see live and let live.

I don’t like it when people lump an entire group together and say, “These people are creepy.” Even people within a certain fetish range from the mild to the extreme, from people who simply fantasize about their fetish to people who act on it, damn the consequences.

If it’s between consenting adults, then I’m okay with it.

Peace,
Shannon

I am on the fence with everything with the chubby chasers, on one hand I like that there are people that would find my size an attractive part of me as much as I like someone thinking I have pretty eyes or hair. On the other I don’t want to have that be something that has to stay as bodies can change as we age or I might get really sick and well…who knows? I also get creeped out if it is the only thing they are after just like someone staring at my boobs. Just makes me uncomfy, ya know?

My current relationship started from an online game, I know I am not what he would generally be attracted to and until he knew what I looked like in real life he was one of the people who made fat jokes. He fell in love with my personality and even though I tried like holy hell to push him away and even sent him pictures of my stretchmarks via camera phone he didn’t care and kept telling me I was beautiful and he loved me and every bit of me, even if I did not, because they were all pieces of me. Parts of the person he fell in love with.

It all just makes me think of the person who wrote about large women either having to be loved in spite of their size or because of it and both kind of suck. It does but I think it does for everyone. Everyone is insecure about themselves on some level, we all have something we don’t like no matter what we look like or how acceptable it is.

(Also, sometimes if I tell a fellow I like him and that his fat is attractive to me, he’ll freak out and want to be liked “in spite” of the fat. I bet if I told a musclehead that I liked him because of his definition, he’d think it was a compliment, not a sign that I’m a psycho! Alas.)

Technically for something to be a fetish “The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.” (From the DSM, which is basically the psychiatric diagnostic bible.) Though it’s not an explicit criteria of determining whether something is a fetish, a major sign of a fetish is that the person cannot become sexually aroused without it.

Individuals tend to have their own preferences, and probably cut off points – frankly, I prefer bigger guys (though I’ve also dated thin guys), but there is some point after which I don’t find the person physically attractive at first glance. If my fiance radically changed in size it wouldn’t change how I feel about him because I know and love him as a person. But if I’m deciding whether a random person on the street is physically attractive or not knowing nothing else about him, then there is a minimum and maximum size he could be.