For fat admirers to have places like this to help them understand how women think will be really helpful to those who have the patience and determination to learn and improve (be less creepy).

I got really lucky in finding “the one” but personality really was the most important “feature” from the beginning, as I will explain.

When a woman would start putting herself down and complaining about guys who just like “big boobs” it would turn me off like a light switch. When I was so fortunate to come across a woman online who “sold” her look to me like a full size luxury car, I was really eager to meet her because she “was totally cool with the fat admirer thing”. She only had a face photo, but from what she had read about fat admirers, she listed off some of her physical attributes openly.

She was recently educated about the mere existence of the term “ssbbw” (super size big beautiful woman) and she was so up front in order not to have any “surprises” about her size upon first meeting.

I think we all get opportunities over the course of our lives, and I think those who reject getting to know potential partners repeatedly are putting too much blame on their body, maybe even projecting imaginary faults upon anyone who will pursue them to begin with.

As a guy, it’s hard to imagine ruling out someone who is physically attracted to me because I would be flattered by it. Just combine being attracted to me with being “rounded” to a degree that is impossible for me to describe, and there is chemistry. Combine that with a personality that is open, receptive, and curious, and there is magic.

There is a reason for people to be the way they are, and people like me exist for some reason in world that absolutely hates fatness.

As a confirmed FA, I agree. As they say, “every pot has its lid” and “it takes all kinds to make the world go round.” What a boring world this would be if everyone were Barbie and Ken.

I don’t personally mind that my body type can be fetishized. I refuse to be treated in any manner just for my body, whether that treatment be seen as good or bad.

I have my own fetish so I know what it’s like to be aroused by something, even though you’re trying to control that feeling. In fact, the Tyra Show did a bit on my fetish too: Tickling. In my experience, when a person has a fetish, they can not control being aroused when they see, hear, smell, taste, touch that thing (or act in the case of paraphilias).

You also have to remember that when faced with a sexual preference you do not share, you’re going to react to it… it doesn’t mean you find it wrong or disgusting, it’s that you’re not familiar with it.

All in all, I think this show may have opened the door for people to see that, yeah, men do like fat women. We’re not sexless spinsters whose only lover is the potato chip bag. We have and enjoy sex. We get on top of the man sometimes! We are okay with who we are.

I’m not saying that it’s good or okay to put someone up there and display them as a freak with freak sexual fetishes and habits. I think that’s how it may have looked or even ended up… But I would rather look on the bright side.

I agree. Men and women who date or marry fat people because they don’t care about weight and can see other qualities in them which they’re attracted to should not be labeled chubby chasers or having a fetish.

Of course, we’ve been so conditioned to think of fat as physically gross, especially in women, that any man who isn’t fat and considered conventionally attractive that does want to be with a large woman simply because he wants to be is considered a freak.

Likewise, if it’s–as a previous poster said–coming across as something a guy wants to cross off his life list (sex with a genuine redhead, camp in the Sierra Nevada, sex with a fat brunette, buy my ideal sports car, sex with a . . . ), that is more shallow than fetishistic IMO. OTOH, “I first noticed her because she has exactly the kind of figure that makes me sweat, but dude, we _clicked_” is just the way people often meet.

ANYHOW, my feelings are in turmoil over this subject, which I think about a *lot.* I’m bisexual and while I don’t really have much of a physical look I am attracted to in guys (other than, well “normal.” It’s more intangible with men, I don’t automatically find a guy attractive if he has a certain hair color or build, though glasses are a definite plus) but with women there’s a definite type that I like, and I find it’s a source of a lot of guilt on my part; I am large, but visually I am more attracted to petite women. It drives me crazy, I feel like I’m objectifying women in the same way I try to rail against, but then again.. we can’t help what we’re attracted to, can we?

Anyway, I’ve never been one who wanted to be associated with “chubby chasers” or fat fetishists or whatever you want to call them; I like Fat Admirers. Anyway, that has always made me so uncomfortable; I feel like I don’t want someone telling me the things I hate about myself are attractive. I don’t want someone saying “I love how your butt jiggles,” you know? And maybe that’s just the crux of it; we spend so much time telling ourselves “These are the parts of us that suck” that it’s disconcerting and even a bit disturbing when someone is telling us they are attractive.

We’re all wired differently. It doesn’t mean I’m defective and you’re normal. It’s just who you are. Unless a person is shoving their fetish in your face or trying to convince you to do things you don’t want to do, then I see live and let live.

I don’t like it when people lump an entire group together and say, “These people are creepy.” Even people within a certain fetish range from the mild to the extreme, from people who simply fantasize about their fetish to people who act on it, damn the consequences.

If it’s between consenting adults, then I’m okay with it.

Peace,
Shannon