The TV Show Idea That Is About To Make Me Very Very Rich
I found out on Twitter that Kimberley Locke from American Idol is hosting a reality show about fat people joining a band:
“Making the Curve” — in which talented, plus-size women “prove that they have what it takes to form a hit pop musical group.”
Because… everyone in a band… needs to have… the same body type? This makes no sense as a show concept. As Jaclyn put it, “Dear Reality TV: Must there now be a “big” version of every show? Is this supposed to be empowering?”
I actually would love to see some more fat-themed scripted shows, if only so that fat actors and actresses could get more jobs! In fact, I really think what with True Blood and Twilight and all, the zeitgeist is really calling for a show about fat vampires. We can call it, simply, Fatpires. And I think any network programming executive who’s reading this should contact me immediately. FATPIRES, people. THIS IS A WINNER.
Also in TV news, Jimmy Kimmel recently did a bit about the increase in fat people programming by imagining something called the Lard Channel:
Ah, stupid late-night comedy, where fat actors can get work playing fat people for us to make fun of. This is why America needs Fatpires, you guys. This, and so many other reasons.
(Thanks for the link, Eliza!)
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: American Idol, Fatism, Humor, Movies, TV, Video
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How about Hampires?
But Elise, what if they were Jewish?
Fatpires? Nah, because you know that producers would have them sucking the cream out of Twinkies instead of blood.
WTHF? Jimmy Kimmel is fat-ish, and if he were a woman, he would be “gross-fat.” I happened to see the Wheel of Fortune that was in the clip, with the fat girl. She was adorable and seemed like a nice person. The other woman, with the orange shirt – not even chubby. What an a-hole he is. I’m so sick of this crap. It’s why I go on media/blog blackouts more and more frequently.
I find myself delighted by the show idea. I’ve always hated the way video killed the fat radio star, and anything that takes the buffness out of the music business is fine by me. Also, since a person’s weight is so irrelevant to the music, it’s quite possible that this will mostly be a show with fat people in it that is not particularly about being fat. Cool! And finally, tribute to Beth Ditto! Never would have happened without her.
As for Jimmy Kimmel, he’s been an asshole for a long time. I doubt many people in his audience are ever going to catch onto the concept of “respect.”
I still like my fat Sex and the City clone idea. At Large, single fat ladies of various body types and backgrounds rocking the high end fashion and boinking their way through the local population of men. Where’s my fat Samantha?
“Fatpires” – what a concept! I can see it now, Camryn Manheim sinking her fangs into an unsuspecting neck and softly murmuring “Supersize me!” Yes – something for everyone to…ah…suck dry…sink their teeth into…have their pound of flesh…did I mention that I can see this as a sitcom? (Or is that a vampcom?)
Oh – dear Godless Heathen – back in my wild & wooly youth (somewhere in my mid-to-late 30s) I really WAS your “fat Samantha”, and yes, she was my favorite character on S&TC.
I found out on Twitter that Kimberley Locke from American Idol is hosting a reality show about fat people joining a band…
Wait… I’m no Idol fan, but wasn’t Kimberley Locke the same one who went on Jenny Craig and counseled poor fat teenager Temptress Brown (who’s never been heard of since)? Did Locke regain some of her Jenny Craig weight loss or something? Or is she going to dispense dieting advice to contestants in between auditions? I dunno… it strikes me as very odd to have an ardent dieter host a show that touts itself as being size-positive.
Fat vampires would be good. How about a fat sci-fi show to go with it? Fats In Space! I’m thinking action sci-fi… starship chases, fat starship crew members having epic zap-gun fights with interstellar pirates, fat bar brawls with aliens, aww yeah. All with a nice leavening of drama and humor a la Firefly.
Yes, I was a Trekkie in middle and high school. I always thought those spandex uniforms were horrible, though. Do they only let skinny people serve on the Enterprise? Why don’t they have uniforms with pockets? If the Star Trek designers are arguing “But what about zero-G, they need bodysuits for zero-G?”, NASA flight suits boast no less that 4 zippered pockets. *firm nod* Plus they’re more roomy, so it looks like they would be less prone to ride up the wearer’s butt.
*cough* Sorry, I tend to go off on tangents. I still stand by my Fats In Space idea. With practical space uniforms!
Kim Locke is all over the place; she was also a Lane Bryant spokesperson for a while!
Trabb’s Boy, that’s a good point about the show. At least it would be focusing on talent instead of weight. And lord knows the fat people rarely get very far on American Idol.
Wow, that Jimmy Kimmel clip isn’t even remotely funny. If peope are going to try so hard to be offensive, at least make it funny heh
I want one with super-observant fat pseudo-detectives who blow shit up for a price.
Like “Psych” meets “Burn Notice.” (yes we watch a lot of USA here.)
Nobody ever suspects the fat chick of being a covert operative for hire! She drinks a milkshake as she watches the bad guy’s warehouse explode, then turns her head and smirks ever-so-slightly…
Wonder if there’s a TV version of Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe? Stout was a sexist, but not sizist; Wolfe is brilliant.
How about a fat sci-fi show to go with it? Fats In Space!
I was thinking the same thing. And, if Defying Gravity wasn’t already in use, that would have been a perfect title.
I like the idea of fat vampires, but I have to admit not being sure about the title. “Fatpires” brings up images of vampires who suck the fat out of people.
I’m a fan of apocalyptic stuff, so maybe some sort of fatpocalyse movie would be good. Like, “What if earth only have six survivors left…and they were FAT?!”
There WAS a version of Nero Wolfe on A&E a few years ago. Maury Chaykin played him.
And I’m gonna agree with Kate: if you’re gonna be offensive with your comedy, at least be FUNNY!
(I was a paid audience member, a few years back, on “Win Ben Stein’s Money,” which JK co-hosted. He was an a**hole back then, so I can only imagine what he’s like now.)
(Ben Stein was AWESOME.)
@Piffle
There was a TV show of Nero Wolfe. I first heard about it when my SO got the VHS tapes of it from our local library. The IMDB page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081906/
Wait, I think it might have been the A&E version from 2001 that my SO and I watched. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283205/
I am totally loving all these fun “plus size” show ideas! So far I think Fats in Space is my favourite. You should totally pitch it!
I would love to see them make a series from Andrew Fox’s Fat White Vampire Blues, actually.
There’s a female vampire slayer in my novel-in-progress!
The only thing I’ve seen with fat vampires is True Blood, and that was ugh – fat, plain-looking vampire forced to justify why he is fat (and not omghot like vampires are supposed to be), plus the fact that “normal” fat people only exist in that universe to buy curtains to their walk-in fridge, or to order extra ranch dressing.
Yes – TWO versions of “Nero Wolfe”, the first (a network series in the early ’80s) starred William Conrad as Wolfe, the orchid-breeding gourmet detective. For those of you who remember ’70s episodic television, Mr. Conrad was the twinkly-eyed star of “Cannon”, the big private eye who raced around L.A. in a Lincoln Continental with a phone in the dashboard.
By the by, the “Fats in Space” is VERY funny. Reminds me of Mel Brooks’ “Jews in Space” tag at the end of “History of the World”…hey, what about “Fat Vampires in Space”?
Oh I would DEFINETLY watch it!!! For various reasons. MAINLY to see Kimberley Locke on TV, been a BIG fan of hers since Idol, I’ve BOTH of her CDs!! And she STILL kept the weight off. But deep down she says, she’s a big girl at heart!! :) :)
Hm.. on the one hand, I’m totally with you on it being ridiculous to just group together people of the same body type and act like that makes it a different show. On the other hand, image is so much a part of success in music and fat does not equal the standard formula for success in image so you could, conceivably, find talent there that wouldn’t be seen otherwise.
I’ve been seeing a lot of Margo Martindale on tv lately (the Riches, Dexter, Hung). In fact, both of the kids in Hung are bigger as well. I think that’s not getting much attention because they’re not the main characters but they easily could have gone otherwise in casting so it’s nice to see.
Fatformers: Fatties In Disguise.
A Michael Bay Fi– scrap that, never mind.