Body Image On TV
In response to Roger Catlin’s article (which I can’t find online*) about fat people on TV, a reader named Chamein Canton writes a powerful response. Here’s an excerpt:
[*Chamein also kindly stopped by the comments to post the text of the original article. Thanks!]
I read your article about the rise in the number of plus size people on television this summer. I noticed the same thing but I can tell you that not all of us are happy with the current offerings. As a full figured woman, I enjoy Drop Dead Diva, Ruby and I’m very interested to see what More To Love has to offer. I know this isn’t politically correct but I hate Dance Your Ass Off and The Biggest Loser. It’s not that I have anything against trying to become more healthy, I just can’t stand that it seems they find the most misreable overweight people in the world. Let me tell you for every one person with a sad story I know at least 20 plus happily full figured people. I consider myself to be one of them, but I learned to be happy in my skin the hard way.
You see I entered this world big from the beginning. I weighed in a few ounces shy of nine pounds and then I spent the rest of my life trying to live down a tiny three lettered word ‘big’. I hated being the big girl. At one point in my life I had so much black in my closet I thought I’d hear the voice of James Earl Jones as Darth Vader at any minute.
She goes on to talk about how her battles with cancer and MS:
I can’t tell you how many hours and days I was in the bathroom floor green with nausea wondering how on earth anyone could want to make themselves sick just so they won’t gain weight.
As horrible as it was Illness was a epihany for me. For the first time in my life I wasn’t focused on losing something, I was focused on gaining. I wanted more minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years to spend with my children. I was desperate to see my toddler sons grow up and to make it to my 30th birthday. It took a diagnosis of cancer to make me realize what truly counted in life and it wasn’t size; it’s love. During my treatment I met couples going through the depths of illness together and the love they showed one another touched me in the deepest part of my soul. I still get choked up when I think about it now. It was a real testament to for better or for worse. It was then I decided to forget my obsession with size.
Thanks for taking the time to make your voice heard, Chamein.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Biggest Loser, Dance Your Ass Off, Drop Dead Diva, Media, More To Love, Personal, TV
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A-freakin’-men!!!!!!
You know what’s been bothering me about “More to Love”? The rhetoric in all their ad talks about how the average reality show contestant is a size 2, while the average American women is a size 14/16 or plus sized and these average American women are “real” women.
So, what about all of us who aren’t a size 2, never will be, and are still smaller than plus size? I’m a size 10/12. Not really fat – not plus sized – but I’ll never be one of those tiny women on most dating shows, either. I’m too small to be “real” and too big to be the impostor. What am I?
I will say, while it’s not perfect, I have been enjoying Drop Dead Diva.
I want to thank you for taking note. I truly appreciate it. I’ve copied Roger Catlin’s original article for you. I love your blog, it’s wonderful to come to a place where we can show how happy and confident we are. Thanks so much.
Courant.com
Reality Bites: “More To Love,” “Dance Your Ass Off,” “The Bachelorette”
BY ROGER CATLIN
The Hartford Courant
Do not adjust your set; the bodies are getting bigger on TV this summer. Even as “The Biggest Loser” takes a summer break, there has been a rise of shows peopled with the plus-sized. Tonight, in addition to an episode from the second season of the reality show “Ruby” (Style, 8 p.m.), which follows a pleasant 400-pound woman, you also can watch “Drop Dead Diva” (Lifetime, tonight, 9), a new scripted show in which a skinny model finds herself trapped in the body of a plus-sized woman. “Dance Your Ass Off” (Oxygen, Monday, 10 p.m.) combines a dance contest with weekly weigh-ins.
And now comes an XL version of “The Bachelor” from the same producer, called “More To Love” (Fox, Tuesday, 9 p.m.). Is it an empowering chance at romance and vindication for a group of “normal” people, for once? Or is it a chance to laugh at a group trying to do what people on other shows do, in the tradition of “The Littlest Groom”?
Because it’s Fox, you can bet on the latter. Oh, Luke Conley is a decent-looking guy who may well prefer full-figured women. But the 20 women who climb out of the limousine are so emotionally fragile — some have never dated, others have been dumped — that they’re crying just about all the time. They cry in recounting their dating past, they cry in their joy of being considered, and they cry when five of them are rejected at the first show’s end.
Everything is orchestrated just like every dating show. One jumps in a pool to get attention, another lurches forward to give a peck on the cheek. The guy mostly just revels in it. But I’m thinking there’s no way it will unfold normally. Come episode three, mark my words: A sudden infusion of skinny girls in bikinis to tempt Luke and upset the others.
These days you can’t even expect a normal ending for a show like the “The Bachelorette” ( ABC, Monday, 8 p.m.), where Jillian, a reject from the season of “The Bachelor” when the guy changed his mind on national TV, is forced to make a decision between two guys, one named Kiptyn and the other Ed, the letters of whose name spell out his malady from last week’s fantasy-suite setting.
They milk the ending one more time (or give them a chance to back out) on “The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose” (ABC, Tuesday, 10 p.m.).
Copyright © 2009, The Hartford Courant
Meems, I had that EXACT same problem when I lived in L.A. There was no place for a size 10/12 actress. And, of course, it bleeds over into “real” life. This is the problem we have, because the media dictates the way we “should” be. But why do we let a bunch of insecure guys (and women) sitting in offices run our lives?
I kind of doubt, as the article says, that a few weeks into “More to Love” a bunch of teeny bikini clad women will show up…since when I was watching the promo videos on the website, the executive producer is a big woman herself. (Tho, of course, who knows…)
I can’t figure out why all the negativity about “More To Love” I for one can’t wait to see it!! It’s rather refreshing to see plus size women looking for love for a change. In other words; why can’t we just give it a chance??
I dislike dating shows in general. They promote the idea that without a primary relationship we are nothing. They also reinforce the fairy tale idea of love and relationships. It’s very similar in tone to the weight loss ads to me. Like a diet or a relationship will change your life forever. Neither will.
It seems like these women are looking to a relationship to solve all their body image problems. I think the opposite is more true. If you accept and celebrate yourself, regardless of size or appearance, you’re more likely to be able to sustain a meaningful relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-relationship. I’ve been happily married for almost 20 years, but I know I need to take care of my own body image issues, or any issues for that matter. Then I can enjoy being with someone who loves me.
Charmein, wow. You make amazing points. Thank you for sharing what’s important to you. And you are right, all of us are not spending our days crying about our weight! I wish TV producers knew that…but then, that’s not as easy to exploit, is it?