I don’t think you should marry a person if you expect them to always look the way they did when you married them. It’s not realistic. Expecting someone not to gain weight is a lot like expecting them not to get gray hair, or wrinkles, or maybe go bald.

Asking your partner to lose weight assumes that it’s a simple thing that they can just do. Some people can lose weight pretty easily. Other peoples’ bodies hang onto every pound, and they’d have to starve to get “thin.” This can be true even if they used to be thinner. Your metabolism does change throughout your life.

Marriage is “for better or for worse.” Part of that “better or worse” is that the other person will change. Definitely physically, probably mentally, emotionally, and spiritually too.

Man, we have some lovely trolls here. You know, apparently there’s a city called Trollhatten, which makes me giggle. Maybe Mr. Women-Should-Be-In-The-Kitchen hails from there? I actually am in the kitchen with reasonable frequency, usually getting water or something to drink – my spouse can get his own food, much of the time, as we’re on different schedules. But I don’t suppose that’s what you meant.

However, I don’t think it’s unresonable for a partner to request that I lose weight, if I have gained during the relationship and it gets in the way of intimacy. Not everyone finds fat attractive, just like not everyone finds thin attractive. Perhaps this is a moot point for a couple who are just dating, but if you’re part of a married couple, there is some sort of obligation try and remain attractive to your spouse (not just in terms of size, but dress, hygiene, goals, interests). People shouldn’t be getting married if they can’t commit to given the “best” of themselves to their relationship.