Teghan sent along this link to an article on AskMen.com (and believe me, I feel gross about even giving them attention). It’s a list of “Top 10 Subtle Ways To Tell Her She’s Getting Fat.”
Well already, it’s a charming list. Feel free to spare yourself the pain to your eyeballs, since I will tell you that the list includes things like “Trick her into exercising,” and “Grab her love handles*” and “Buy her clothes that are too small**” and “Sabotage her chair.” Good grief.
*We can rename them “hate handles” just for these guys.
**Involves policing the size of her clothes and then somehow knowing what size she wears in which brand. Given the disparities in sizing from label to label, no man on earth could pull this off.
Here’s the worst one (bolding mine, indicating white-hot rage):
When dishing up meals for the two of you, try giving her smaller-than-usual amounts. By making her ask for more food, you might succeed in shaming her into an acknowledgment of her recent weight gain, and hopefully to instigate a conversation about what she’s going to do about it. If you feel as though you’re starving yourself in the process, remember you can always go back for more when she’s not looking.
Number one is to take her somewhere where she has to wear a bathing suit. Maybe this is the worst one:
If she seems content staying at home eating donuts in her track pants, why not start taking her to places where she has no choice but to where a swimsuit? As she awkwardly looks around at all the slender bodies having a great time, she’ll more than likely vow to do something about her recent weight gain.
Sure, you can only have fun if you’re skinny, and you are only fat if you sit around “eating donuts.” Now that is just downright lazy writing, if you ask me; there’s a trope that I would be happy to see die. And I can think of a number 11 for the list: “Make her read this article, which will cause her to throw up any food she’s eaten in the last few hours.”
Hey, where’s the list of “Top 10 Subtle Ways To Tell Him He’s A Jackass”?
Posted by mo pie