It Never Stopped Me From Gettin' Busy
Fat chicks have more sex than skinny chicks. Sorry, skinny ladies, but it’s science. The story is kind of troubling, though, when you start to look at it up close.
The results seem to contradict stereotypes that overweight and obese women have less sex. If anything, the researchers said, the opposite seems to be true.
Is there a stereotype that overweight women have less sex? I thought the stereotype was that fat chicks were easy.
[T]he stereotype could mean overweight women get different messages than thinner women from physicians regarding pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease prevention, and that their sexual behavior might therefore vary.
So doctors assume their fat patients don’t have sex, and then they don’t talk to them about STDs, so they sleep around? I’m feeling less good about the implications here….
“Some medical practitioners may not do appropriate follow-up with women who are overweight; they might assume they aren’t having sex unless they are told otherwise.”
ARE THERE REALLY DOCTORS LIKE THIS? “Oh, clearly nobody would sleep with you, I won’t even bother asking…” Srsly?
“Our analysis demonstrated that obese and overweight women do not differ significantly in some of the objective measures of sexual behavior compared to women of normal weight… This study indicates that all women deserve diligence in counseling on unintended pregnancy and STD prevention, regardless of body mass index.”
YOU NEEDED A STUDY TO TELL YOU THIS!?!?!? So if the study said fat women have less sex than thin women, they would NOT deserve “diligence in counseling” on their sexual health? IS SOMEONE HIGH!?!?!?
Okay, now I’m all tense and annoyed. Anyone know a good way to relax and release some stress? Maybe some green tea? Deep breathing? A walk around the block?
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Exercise, Fat Positive, Feel Good Friday, Feminism, Science, Sex & Romance
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I have no words. This is just unbelievable!
Maybe some green tea? Deep breathing? A walk around the block?
<3
“Anyone know a good way to relax and release some stress?”
Sex. Works every time :-)
“Anyone know a good way to relax and release some stress?”
A GOOD FUCK!
When I was in high school, my mom told me she was glad I was fat because that meant guys wouldn’t have anything to do with me. But right after that she said guys go after fat chicks because they’re easy and guys know that they’re desperate for attention.
Yeah, this is a sample of the mixed messages I grew up with. :/
There is both the stereotype that fat women don’t have as much sex and that they are easy….the one assumption flowing from the other (i.e. she never gets any, so she’ll jump at the first chance she gets).
I know that these studies are frustrating, but we know that there is substantial weight bias among medical professionals, so sometimes they need to be bonked upside the head with the 2X4 of a study to get the point.
What spinsterwitch said. And that’s why you guys are here, to debunk myths about fat and to educate those who literally don’t know, or refuse to realize that fat doesn’t mean a lifetime membership in the unhealthy and unloved club.
Also,I would think that fat women and men would be even more choosier, due to all the negativity and hostile attitudes about sex, dating, and romance when it comes to fat. My mom told me once my standards were too high when it came to men…what I didn’t tell her was that one of the qualities my man had to have was no hang-ups about being with a fat woman. I found one, but I was 21 and he was 54 at the time, not to mention going through a bitter divorce, so that was a no go.
I find the reporting of this finding to be hilarious. The study found that 12% of women surveyed were virgins, and that “obese” women were more likely to have ever had sex. However, (cut and pasted from my thesis) there was ‘no difference in “sexual orientation, frequency of sexual intercourse, number of current partners…age at first intercourse, number of lifetime male partners, and the number of male partners in the last 12 months” by BMI category (Kaneshiro et al. 2008:589). ”
Yet, apparently, the “Fat women are having sex” is so sensational that they dont talk about the rest of it.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry about this study. Laugh because it’s ridiculous, or cry because I know there are doctors who let these biases affect their work.
Oh, there are SO doctors who would assume you’re not having sex and not bother to ask.
And here I was thinking it was because we’re hot…
Could part of the problem also be that very overweight women don’t always feel as confident or empowered to say no to sex? It’s not like overweight women are built up by society in the self-esteem or self-respect departments.
It’s been my experience (in NZ) that Doctors *do*, in general, assume fat patients are not having sex. When I was younger and living with someone (which I made clear to the Docs) I still had many of them attempt to screw around with my BC. I was angry because it also implied that fat chicks have trouble getting pregnant – again, IME not true. (I come from a very fertile family).
I loved my last GP though (we had to move cities, or I’d still be with him). I was having trouble with the pill I was taking and he was considering moving me to another form of BC. The conversation went like this:
“How long did it take you to get pregnant?” (I have twin girls)
“3 months of not-really trying.”
“Ok – We need to be careful with you…”
And he meant it. He believed me and it was wonderfully refreshing.
And I’ve always had more sex than my thin friends – but only because they were always so concerned about their bodies and caught up in body image whereas I had, quite frankly, given up. Apparently not being neurotic is sexy… who knew? (Not saying all thin girls are, but my mates were).
FYI, more informaiton is here: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_69149.html
Oops – looks like that page isn’t working. Okay, I excerpted from it in http://living400lbs.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/yes-virginia-fat-women-have-sex-too/
Sorry…
“The results seem to contradict stereotypes that overweight and obese women have less sex. If anything, the researchers said, the opposite seems to be true.
Is there a stereotype that overweight women have less sex? I thought the stereotype was that fat chicks were easy. ”
In high school I had quite a reputation for being a slut, just because I was fat. Thing is, I was so niave and introverted, I didn’t know I had that reputation until the last two weeks of my senior year, where a male classmate blurted it out (in an extremely vulgar fashion) in front of my whole creative writing class.
I walked out of class, went immediately to the assistant principal and complained. Not that it helped any. The guy who did that didn’t even get a slap on the wrist, much less anything more from that.
And of course I was expected to continue going to class (or even show up for school at all). To say I was mortified the rest of the school year is an understatement.
I’ve recounted this story here before, but I was once lectured by a doctor to lose weight. He very euphemistically told me that I was wasting my youth because that’s when we gals are fuckable.
I went to my car and bawled. Even though the week before I had broken a coffee table during an energetic amorous encounter with my partner.
All that study does is reveal the prejudices of its authors.
My doctors have always asked me if I’ve had kids, I assume, because of the shape of my body, and I go to a clinic in a lower class neighbourhood where there are more young mothers. That question obviously implies that they think I’ve had/am having sex. They always seem surprised when I say I haven’t been with anyone for a while, possibly because of my gigantic boobs, which make me look slutty.
I really do wish that doctors and researchers could actually approach their work without bias, and stop making stupid assumptions about me and all my fat ladies out there.
It really is unfortunate in this day and age, but I hate to say it – there is an assumption that fat automatically equals slutty.
If, say, I am on a dating or social networking site and I happen to be in pictures in which I look confident and I am showing my beauty, I can get lewd comments from what I call the chubby-chasers. I think a lot of men do prey after larger women because they think these losers are the best they’re going to get.
I’ve been a lot choosier in my partners in the past year than in previous years, and have also had a better sex life than ever. Meanwhile, I know women who are a lot smaller than me and have gone a while without any.
Basically, people are stupid. And yes, men who are not scuzzy/jerks/condomphobes are actually attracted to women of size. Who knew?
Cindy, that was incredibly unprofessional and sexist. I hope you reported him to your state medical board (if you’re in the states).
Tanz made a really good point about sex and body acceptance. I wonder if there is a difference in how much sex women with much higher BMIs have vs. those who are not really fat but think they are compared to models. I think the latter might have more issues with letting a partner see their bodies.
Self acceptance is sexy.
Interesting. You know, I really lucked into the relationship I have, but almost nobody can believe how quickly we went from dating to sex. We broke my bed (that was both hilarious and AWESOME).
You were not aware of the OBSCENE amount of fatphobia and size prejudice in both science and the medical profession????
Holy mackerel!!!
The ignorance and stupidity in the field and the assumptions and stupidities of medical professionals with regards to anyone not thin are APPALLING!!!!
I have heard of doctors denying fat patients ( and not really fat just over the dictated BMI) birth control until they lost weight, doctors not performing tests or asking basic questions needed for accurate diagnosis and assuming all of a fat patients’ health issues might be due to their weight like you know appendicitis or pneumonia or an ear infections ( since you know thin folk never get those) and offending or disparaging fat patients in ways that they would never think of doing with thin patients.
It is so bad some of us fat people have stopped going to doctors all toghether.
At least I am lucky enough I learned the same thing they did in school and know how to patch myself.
But yep, the whole thing is insane and criminal and the whole “obesity epidemic” booga, booga , booga BS needs to stop…
Just sayin’
Milla who does medicine and fashion.
You broke the bed… You Broke. the Bed.
I don’t recommend obese pregnancy.
Muscle: “you broke the bed…You Broke. the Bed.
I don’t recommend obese pregnancy.”
I’ll have you know my very thin (you could see her ribs during this time she was very unhealthy) roommate broke her bed during sex and it’s nothing to do with how much she weighs! Contrary to popular belief, breaking things during sex is not always due to fatness you know. It’s usually due to vigor!
Oh and to add to this comment thread.
I have to say growing up there was always this feeling that fat girls were not sexy, therefore never got any sex. all of the so called “loose” girls at my school were thin and gorgeous. but then i go to college and started having sex and LOVING it and started loving my body and realized that not only could I “get laid” but I was having a damn good time of it too!
I have been really lucky and have always had doctors that are receptive to asking about birth control, etc. But I am also not afraid to talk to them about it or bring it up, because I am being proactive. I guess I have seen the bias about fatsex elsewhere. I went to a stand up comedy open mic show a few months ago and a woman smaller than me (but still overweight) made some jokes about how you know you can get a fat girl in bed because they are really appreciative and will fuck you. Everybody laughed, I didnt think it was funny at all. So when it was MY turn up there I said “i gotta disagree with this gal right here about fat girls and sex. I am not gonna be grateful for ‘any old sex’ you hear me? I am always bringing my A game, and you’d better too, because this girl wants to cum!” (i’m a little bit naughty like bob sagat when I do comedy!)
I felt good for at least trying to counteract that horribly stereotype that fat women can’t get laid so we have to put up with whatever horrible attempt at a lover we can find. Boo on that!
New Medical Scientific Study proves that a group of Havard medical experts, with several tries and extensive outside assistance, where able to find their own assholes with both hands.
Hey, Muscle-head, I’ve had two- count ’em TWO- obese pregnancies, and never broke a bed. Or a couch, or a chair, or any other piece of furniture. So go soak your head.
I once had a doctor tell me to diet and when I told him I wasn’t interested he said, “But don’t you want to get a boyfriend?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him; at that moment I was dating (and sleeping with) two very nice, very attractive, and pretty hot guys BOTH of whom were desperate for me to dump the other one and become exclusive with them (I was honest that they were not the only person I was seeing, obviously). What an ass.
The comments in one posting of that article are rather telling – and ignorant. (Make sure you have plenty of SW points though!) http://www.livescience.com/health/081030-overweight-sex.html
I did like this response, because it referenced something I read several years ago and that greatly helped with my appreciation of myself as a sexual being:
HarlDelos wrote:
LabWarrior wrote: Well, they don’t have it as easy. They can’t be on the top, otherwise they will crush their mate. Also, some really fat ones have too much fat in the way to have normal sex, if you know what I mean.
It’s been about ten years since I was last single, but the evidence I gathered on the subject – hey, anything for science! – said that it’s not just more sex, but better sex, too. I wouldn’t say that sleeping with skinny women is like sleeping with a 10-speed bicycle, but if sex isn’t about having fun, why are you doing it?
I note that the sex hormones are fat-soluble molecules. I note also that if you think there’s such a thing as “normal” sex, you are terribly deprived.
No, the weight of a fat woman – and I’m talking supersized here, the women who can’t shop in Lane Bryant stores, but have to buy from the catalog – is not crushing. And if the fat gets in the way, either the guy is tremendously underendowed, or else he not very inventive.
I dated some skinny women, when I was single, and if they had great personalities, it was wonderful, but on the whole, fat women are passionate, inventive, eager lovers, the kind you want to end up marrying. And I’m not sorry I did.
Oh, right. I should clarify. The encouraging thing is that fat people produce more sex hormones. I haven’t looked into that recently to say if it’s definitively true, so it might not be, but when I heard it, it certainly gave me some hope.
I think muscle might have been talking to me.
I broke a coffee table, numbnuts, not a bed. Never broken a bed.
Also, I’ve never weighed more than 165 pounds. I wouldn’t likely be lumped into the (gasp!) high risk pregnancy on account of my weight. For my age, yes. I’m 36. But I’d likely just have an ob/gyn insist that I not get *any fatter8 during pregnancy. I wear a size 12.
Which kind of goes to show you just how ridiculous it must be to try to get kind, competent medical care when you weigh more than 200 pounds. Which isn’t really all that alarmingly big. Not to me, anyway.
let me just add in here that fairly recently i was reminded by a man I slept with SEVERAL years ago merely for the thought that “all of the women in my dept. (was in college) wanted him and he wanted ME, so i was somehow obligated to sleep with him” that~
“you want to hook up again right? i mean, i know I do. it was so much fun, wasn’t it? it was great, just so much FUN.”
Now…..I recall it as being “passable” and ‘enjoyable because friction feels good’. Mind you I would never tell him this, but he is a VERY good looking man and i am not exaggerating when I say that every woman in my dept wanted to get with him.
Anytime i am feeling down about myself or my weight based on societies dumb ass antics I remember him saying that and remind myself that one of the most gorgeous men (albeit arrogant) I have ever met pursued me for sex, and thinks it’s the best sex he ever had, and found me years later to have more. SUCK THAT!
Wow.
I’m a registered nurse by trade and only worked in women’s reproductive health. I treated everyone the same, but unfortunately, there are instances when this doesn’t happen. I suppose it’s like any other business.
I remember once reading that McDonalds asked heavy people if they wanted to supersize their meals more often than skinny people.
This post is so interesting. And the comments have struck some chords with me. I think the lesson is to work your darndest to see everyone as equal. Try to fight for and teach equality and tolerance when you can.
Great topic.
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DH is friggin demolished. He’s gel now.
I’m an overweight lady, and my man (once a skinny college lad, now is getting a bit more meat on his bones) says he likes my curves. Oh, and he likes me on top. A lot.
On the health care note: I’ve had my fair share of doctors’ raised eyebrows and stifled coughs at the mention of how active I am. Thankfully, there are more ob-gyn lady doctors in our area who understand the situation and are very supportive with what we want without letting our weight get in the way.
TMI. Most repulsive imagery. Don’t ever say that again. And lose weight before you do it again.
When I was in high school, my mom told me she was glad I was fat because that meant guys wouldn’t have anything to do with me. But right after that she said guys go after fat chicks because they’re easy and guys know that they’re desperate for attention.
Hey Charlotte – we’re sisters!
I hate to burst that stereotype too! Not only am I fat, obese, whatever, but I am married! Who marries the fat chick, let alone have sex with her? Heavens! What is the world coming to!
Yeeeeeah. Okay. Stupid docs.
I’m probably the heaviest I’ve ever been
BUT!!!!!
I am having the BEST sex of my life at this size and being pursued by MORE men than ever. In fact, its great EXERCISE! Gets the heart rate up, improves flexibility and agility, makes you feel GREAT when your done….obviously docs should be counseling overweight women to be having MORE of teh sexxors as its clearly VERY VERY good for us!
And, for the record, I’ve never EVER gotten with someone who had even the teensiest thought that I would sleep with them because I was “desperate” or “didn’t know how to say no”. Fuck. That. This is MY body and if I don’t feel like sharing it with you bugger off!
Women are labeled sluts with ease and agressiveness by others for a variety of reasons. I think the underlying thing with THAT is more women need to: A) stop labeling other women as a slut because of arbitrary physical features and B) stop allowing OTHERS to label women as sluts because of arbitrary physical features.
Seriously, my heart stopped when I read the comment above that someone felt her large breasts made her “look slutty”. It just saddens me to know that women still even THINK that.
As for this “study”, whatta buncha maroons! Where is the ivory tower these people live in so we can go knock it over? Women of ALL shapes, sizes, breast size, hair color etc are having LOADS of sex!!! I don’t really know ANY women who are waiting around for “Mr. Right” to come and sweep their virginity away with their magic penis *Swoon*. For gods sake I thought we got over THAT hump around 1969 or so!
The very fact that docs think some women don’t need to know about sexual health issues is not just an anti-fat (fatist?) thought but also a very mysoginistic thought!!!
Late to the party, as always, but I thought I’d add a perspective I haven’t seen here yet.
I, ladies and gentlemen, am a walking stereotype! I’m two stereotypes, actually, and they’re not as contradictory as they sound. I am “Fat Girls Don’t Date” and “Fat Girls Are Easy!”
I was always fat growing up, so I never dated. It was just never within the realm of possibility that someone would be interested in me, so I just spent my teen years being the Fat Best Friend and Wing(wo)man to my friends.
Then, when I hit 20, this friend-of-a-friend asked me out because he knew I’d never had a boyfriend or anything like that and he figured he could get laid pretty easily. And he was right. I was tired of being a virgin and I was grateful for the attention, even though I knew I could literally have been anyone and it wouldn’t have made a difference to him. He was also the one who told me that he didn’t like having sex with me on top because everything wobbled. We dated for a few months until he found someone better.
Pretty much the exact same thing happened a few years later in college.
Then, at the height of my eating disorder something weird happened. I dropped to 98 pounds (which isn’t as thin as it sounds. I’m 4’11” with tiny little bird bones, so I was still wearing a size 4). And all of a sudden, guys noticed me! But they didn’t want sex. They were respectful of me and wanted to get to know me and just spend time with me. Sex probably would have come later eventually had I taken them up on their offers, but I never did because grad school was all consuming. But it does make me think that maybe the study found skinny girls having less sex because men sorta value them for more than that. Among other reasons, of course.
And then I gained all the weight back. My third boyfriend was actually interested in me, surprisingly. I think he was just excited to find someone who could keep up with him intellectually and who was half his age. But still, the girls he really went gaga over (like on TV, or wherever) were very slim, so he appreciated me in spite of my body, not because of it.
Nowadays, even if I had the opportunity to date or have sex, I would just say no. In a purely physical sense, sex feels good, but not good enough to offset the emotional anxiety surrounding the whole thing. When I decided I didn’t actually *have* to date or have sex and I should just disengage from my body as much as possible, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders! I was so relieved! Life is much easier now.
My point is that it’s great you guys are disproving stereotypes and are happy, but I think this here is a self selected sample and therefore not necessarily representative of the whole. There are plenty of us out there who do conform to the stereotype. At the very least, it’s a very mixed bag.