your body is a wonderland

I'm Henry The Eighth, I Am. Sort Of.

September 2nd, 2008

Henry VIII
Originally uploaded by mo pie

In the BBC Miniseries The Tudors, the creators have decided that lead actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who plays Henry VIII, should not gain weight as the time period advances. Why? Because he will no longer be “appealing.” (And apparently audiences will be too dumb to figure out why on earth anyone would have wanted to have sex with the all-powerful King of England if he were fat.)

The show bosses said that [Meyers] would not be required to put on weight so that he retains his sex appeal. England’s famous monarch was believed to be more than 20st [280 pounds], with a waist of 54in. He even needed a hoist to life him on to his horse towards the end of his life.

“We still want him to be appealing,” the Telegraph quoted executive producer Morgan O’Sullivan as saying. “We don’t want to destroy his good looks. An exact portrayal of Henry is not a factor that we think is important.”

I’ve never seen the show, but I’ve heard from numerous sources about the historical innacuracies that seem to be part and parcel of the show’s canon. (That second link, which might be NSFW, refers to it as “sexed up and dumbed down” for American audiences.)

“The characters talk in completely unnatural ways, addressing their own family members as “Anne Boleyn” or “Mary Boleyn” so that we, the stupid audience, understand who they’re supposed to be…

Henry VIII was exceedingly powerful, both politically and physically, but Rhys Meyers is pretty, rather than macho and thus completely unconvincing.”

This news seems timely, given our recent discussion of how weight issues affect men. But it’s also unsurprising. I guess the theory is that audiences will not want to watch sex scenes featuring a fat dude, Ron Jeremy notwithstanding. Because fat is, as we all know, not sexy. Not on men, not on women, not on sixteenth-century monarchs, and not on television. Right?

Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Art, Celebrities, Fatism, Gossip, International, NSFW, TV

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23 Responses to I'm Henry The Eighth, I Am. Sort Of.

  1. thordora, on September 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am Said:

    It bugs me, and has bugged me alot-since anything I’ve read re Henry has pointed to his physcial attractiveness in YOUTH, but his stature and power as he aged, as well as his weight. He was a big man, in many regards. He was an old man by the time Anne came along (relatively speaking)

    I like the show, but accurate, it’s not.

    And fat can’t be attractive? Explain my weird thing for Gandofini in The Sopranos. :P

  2. spinsterwitch, on September 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 am Said:

    Oh FFS! Henry was a big man…about 6’2″!

    Much is made about his inability to get on a horse in his later years, but really if you had been suffering from a leg wound for over a decade, you might also have a few problems getting around.

    As for being attractive, perhaps at the end he wasn’t (in his last years he was ill all the time and had boils…not a particularly tempting presentation), but there is nothing that says that he was considered unattractive for his size when he gained weight.

    Rhys is a pretty man, but he is in no way the physical match of Henry (who was always physically impressive, even when thinner).

  3. Twistie, on September 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am Said:

    Yet another reason I can’t watch the show. I might have tried it when it first came out despite my inner cringing (I’ve been hugely fascinated with the Tudor monarchs since childhood and know too much about how television works to let myself think it might not disappoint the historian in me) if I’d had HBO on my cable plan. Luckily for my digestion and blood pressure, we cheaped out and didn’t go for the full bells and whistles plan.

    As others have pointed out, it wasn’t his weight so much as other physical ailments that made that hoist necessary. A bad leg injury that never healed properly kept ulcerating until his death.

    And at the time, fat was connected in people’s minds not with gluttony and laziness but with prosperity and power.

    Besides, who was going to say ‘no’ to the freaking KING???

  4. Melissa, on September 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am Said:

    I can’t watch the show either!
    It’s so inaccurate and I’m a history buff so it irritates the heck out of me.

    I guess I’ll have to watch some documentaries rather than a dramatic mini series if I want something that’s really interesting.

  5. Simon, on September 2nd, 2008 at 1:17 pm Said:

    I want to say this surprises me, but it doesn’t, not in the least. Those of us who are larger than the accepted norm are a blight on the beauty of society, as far as movie and television production houses are concerned, played off as either the joke or the stooge, but very rarely as we really are: Normal people.

  6. Sara, on September 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 pm Said:

    I’m not shocked by this in the slightest, the series is a complete superficial sex fest….slightly elevated above soft core but not by much! I love this time period and was excited by the initial adverts, but it was a big disappointment. It is what it is I guess.

  7. Cindy, on September 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm Said:

    I’m all atwitter!

    But just because there are a handful of thoughts buzzing around my head, such as:

    Is Jonathan Rhys Meyers good looking or ugly? I can never tell.

    Is “The Tudors” softcore porn with ruffles and goblets?

    And, if women have to worry so much about sex appeal to gain legitimacy as human beings, shouldn’t men at least do a little?

  8. mo pie, on September 2nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm Said:

    I kind of want to make “softcore porn with ruffles and goblets” our new tagline even though that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

  9. Luis, on September 2nd, 2008 at 3:44 pm Said:

    “Because fat is, as we all know, not sexy. Not on men, not on women, not on sixteenth-century monarchs, and not on television. Right?”
    RIGHT.
    I’m a fan of the show and could care less about historical accuracy or lack thereof, a sentiment that is probably shared by most of the viewers that have made this show succesful.
    As far as it being porn. Well, anyone who says that has never seen any porn.
    If The Tudors had a fat Henry the VIII the show would not have made it to a second season.

  10. Just Me, on September 2nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm Said:

    OK, so the “he can’t be sexy if he gains weight” is not a good message.

    But I always thought that the habit of actors to pack on pounds for one role and then lose them for another, in a short time frame, by excessive eating or diet/exercise is absolutely INSANE!

    So from that aspect, I think it’s good that they aren’t wanting him to gain weight. He’ll be healthier for it!

  11. Bilt4Cmfrt, on September 2nd, 2008 at 6:28 pm Said:

    @Just Me-

    I agree. The Robert Diniro, ‘Raging Bull’ trick and Tom Hanks’s bulk-up for ‘Cast Away’ are seen as signs of those actors dedication to their rolls. Think is, it’s about as unnatural as crash dieting off an equal amount of weight. It’s dangerous and takes a toll on a persons health. I seriously doubt that you’ll see either of them doing that again. How the studio handled it is another matter.

    It may seem like nit picking but if they’d gone with this explanation for going with the actor they did, I might have less reason to object. However, their released explanation is typical of over vain, under intelligent, Hollywierd psych. Ultimately it submits the perfect critique of itself; If the producers are so vain and shallow as to think that THIS aspect of Henry VIII’s life story is repugnant enough to blatantly change, how good could their interpretation possibly be?

    @Luis
    Thank YOU for your review from the below the Peanut Gallery. My question is; This is supposed to be a Period Piece. Yaknow- stuph that happ’ed way bac inna daze, that don’ mean nothing now. Yaknow- History. Why would you even be interested?

  12. Sarah, on September 2nd, 2008 at 6:56 pm Said:

    Hollywood and historical accuracy? Doesn’t exist. Gotta appeal to the low masses of people like Luis.

  13. PurpleGirl, on September 2nd, 2008 at 11:18 pm Said:

    I rented the first season of this show just because I thought it looked visually appealing–I went in to knowing I’d have to set aside my knowledge of Henry and his six wives. I figured they were going to ignore Henry’s weight gain and aging as soon as I saw that they’d gone with an actor who was the physical opposite of the real Henry!

    I’m also very frustrated that most people think Henry was so mammoth. 280 pounds on a 6 foot+ man really is NOT that much! I’ve weighed 280 pounds as a 5’3″ woman, and my hips right now measure 54″ (Henry’s estimated waist size). I can still buy clothes, walk, run, rollerskate, and even get on a horse. Now if I had a supperating leg wound too it’d be a different story ….

    (Aside: If anyone is interested in the time period/the wives, there’s a great book by Alison Weir called “The Six Wives of Henry VIII” that’s a great read)

  14. mo pie, on September 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 pm Said:

    I’ve read Weir’s book and it was very good but I have to say Antonia Fraser’s “The Wives of Henry VIII” is absolutely magnificent. I was totally riveted and highly recommend that one—even more than Weir’s!

  15. Cindy, on September 3rd, 2008 at 12:02 am Said:

    Luis,

    If you don’t know the difference between softcore porn and porn, well then, you’ve pretty much just been sitting around watching porn.

    Signed,
    someone who has seen both

  16. MEP, on September 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 am Said:

    Where did we get the idea that this show is a BBC Miniseries or on HBO? It is a Showtime series.

    In my opinion James Gandolfini is 100 times sexier than that cokehead Rhys Meyers could ever be. I don’t think he’s a great choice to play Henry. I’ve read some historical fiction centered around Henry that is much more interesting than this show. The few episodes I’ve seen of it are boring and the scripts are bad too — and this is coming from someone with an interest in the subject matter.

  17. Bree, on September 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 am Said:

    I’ve seen The Tudors a few times. Sure, Jonathan Rhys Myers is pretty to look at, but the most interesting and best looking actor on there is Sam Neill. He brings class to the program.

    A fat Henry VIII would have been more interesting. 6 foot, 280 lbs is the weight of a lot of today’s football players. Mammoth and waiting to drop dead? Hardly.

  18. Carol Gwenn, on September 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am Said:

    For the old folks out there (like me), think back to a BBC/PBS series from the ’70s, “Lillie”, about the amazing life of Lily Langtry, one of several gorgeous mistresses of that randy devil, King Edward VII. Mrs. Langtry was a sturdy woman (5’8″ and generally around 140 pounds), and Edward was built on the Henry VIII model, albeit in better health. The actor who played Edward (cannot remember his name) radiated power & sex appeal, and I’d guess him to be in the James Gandolfini size range. After all, the guy was playing a KING, and in his era, a man’s size was indicative of his station in life; nobody trusted a skinny, weak-looking guy. Women, too were expected to mature into well-rounded specimens, like Langtry & her contemporary, Lillian Russell.

    That particular series was VERY accurate historically (based on a book called “The Prince and the Lily”, still in print ). Guess it’s that BBC thing.

  19. tara, on September 3rd, 2008 at 11:41 am Said:

    This is nothing new really, entertainment has always placed a higher value on aesthetics than accuracy. Just take a look at the teeth in The Tudors; back then you were lucky if you made it to 25 with a full set of teeth, not to mention that the problem was worse for royalty as they had much greater access to tooth rotting foods that normal people o the day would probably never even see outside books and paintings.

  20. tvor, on September 4th, 2008 at 9:08 am Said:

    this series is basically one big shag-fest and only has a passing aquaintance with historical fact. Rhys-Myers is too young and totally the wrong colouring for the part. There have been some very good performances in spite of all the sex, though, and as much as it pains me to watch it, it’s like a train wreck. At the time series 2 ended, with Anne Boleyn’s death, Henry would have been over 40 and starting to get heavier. If they can’t get anything else right, why bother not aging Henry in any way, i suppose.

  21. Phronsie, on September 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm Said:

    I find myself often falling for heavy-set men, along with finding trim, athletic men appealing, but I find it hard to believe there are men out there who feel the same way about women. I have to wonder if I’m not doing many men a disservice??

  22. REMEMBER, on October 5th, 2008 at 5:45 am Said:

    WHAT ABOUT TONY FROM THE SOPRANOS..PEOPLE TUNED IN TO WATCH HIM HAVE SEX.

  23. C, on August 26th, 2009 at 3:51 pm Said:

    Regardless of historical accuracy, the show is GOOD. If people want accuracy, they can do the research themselves. However, I did always wonder why Henry never gained weight in the show, and now I know why. But if they were concerned with Jonathan’s looks, they could have easily used make up to make him look older and heavier.

    But still, ‘The Tudors’ is an excellent show and one of my current favorites.

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