Now, you may be thinking ‘I want my body to change!’ The truth is, so many of those people you envy still have pre-pubescent bodies. I watched the same ‘perfect’ skinny people get taller and gain the weight that comes with having puberty. I just happened to go through puberty earlier than they did. Now, you may yet have to go through the major part of your puberty. If you do, don’t worry because your body will balance itself out in the long run. It will. After hating my body and feeling ‘fat’ in middle school and having an eating disorder at thirteen, I got help and started to realize that my body was okay. It had changed, but my body is awesome because it can fix itself.

One thing that I didn’t do until much later than twelve is join a sports team. I felt too embarassed to go out for any sport in middle school because I wasn’t ‘effortlessly thin’ and didn’t ‘look like an athlete.’ I regret that now because I was always a very active person. I still am. When I joined a sport and started working out a lot, my life became more complete. It surprised many of my friends because I gained a lot of confidence in myself and in my body.

Also, you should begin to learn your body’s signals. It takes a long time. Not even the ‘pros’ know all about their bodies. However, it pays to start learning young. Stand in front of your mirror and think nice things about yourself. See the good parts of your body first. Really look at your body. See what it looks like today. Suck your stomach in and let it hang out. (There’s not a huge difference, actually, I realized.) Keep working out to make yourself happy. Look at your body after workouts. Take moments to realize how ripped you are. Buy clothes in your size! Branch out and find your own style. (Hollister shirts DO NOT fit girls with breasts above a size B cup. Even that’s pushing it.)

Essentially, do not do what I did and develop an eating disorder at thirteen. It took me along time to learn to love my body afterwards. Love your body now and tell the people who hate your body ‘fuck you.’ (Or maybe some less profane advice.)

And to the 12-year-old letter writer,

I don’t remember how it was being 12 and I won’t tell you that you’ll back on this part of your life and be surprised by your actions, but I will tell you this. I have an 11-year-old sister who is probably your size and is 5′4″. She is a happy, healthy and confident girl with the world ahead of her. She doesn’t worry about how “skinny” her friends are or anyone else for that matter. She only worries about her math tests and/or what she’ll be doing for summer vacation. She has her awkward moments but who doesn’t. You are all right as you are right now, dear. Do not stress over something like this. You are doing all the right things to keep your body fit and healthy. You have to remember that everyone has a different body type and that we aren’t meant to all be the same size.

Some thoughts:
1. The most popular girl at my school is probably close to 200 pounds.
2. You would not be considered fat at all, by anyone, except maybe Nicole Richie and a 2-year-old.
3. Don’t judge yourself by Hollister’s terms. Seriously. A medium there is like a small in a normal store. I spent two hours once looking for a medium. It was ridiculous.
4. Don’t you know anything about real fashion? Where what fits. Barely look at a size tag. DON’T EFFIN LOOK AT IT.
5. Don’t worry about guys. They’ll come to you.
6. Hold your head up. You aren’t fat anyway, but don’t give people the impression that you’re that fat girl who’s gonna sit in the back of class and do nothing. Been through that. Not fun.
Good luck! Remember, it gets better!

Turned out there was nothing wrong, I just had an adult body at a young age. A lot of girls AND boys go through this, and I think it’s more common than kids understand. I hope someone explains to her, and all the kids out there like her, that looking like other people shouldn’t be a priority because we all develop differently.

I’m not saying there’s anything bad about it – it’s just that it seems contradictory for someone who has had WLS to sell the message that “you’re fine just as you are”.

I’ve been 6′ tall since I was 12. And let me tell you, it is not a picnic. I always stand out in photos, I can’t always hear what my friends are saying when we’re in loud places because I am standing at least a head above them. I work now with all men, and I am taller than all of them by at least 7 inches. It’s freaking weird.

So what I’m saying is, I know, it really really sucks to feel different from your friends. To feel like you stick out, and that there is something wrong with you. But I couldn’t make myself shorter (or skinnier, though I tried.) So I decided I might as well just own it.

I mean, there are millions of girls who spend every waking moment trying to look just like the girls in the American Eagle ads. (When I was your age it was The Gap.) So I went in a totally different direction. I wore clothes I LOVED even if they weren’t the style. And I did things that I enjoyed, even if they weren’t cool.

I highly recommend it. Fitting in requires constant maintenance, and changes, to make sure you are never rocking the boat. I think once you find the confidence to own your body and yourself, you’ll find that it is so much easier just to be the best you you can be. Who cares what everyone else thinks? (Chances are they are only thinking about themselves anyway. )

Good luck!

Also, Sunrise, it is super uncool to undermine people’s legitimate feelings by pointing out how bad other people have it. I mean, Yes, other people have it bad. There is always someone on earth who has it worse than you. But that doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less valid than their feelings.