I know people like that too. But extreme calorie restriction just isn’t a good – or, as you rightly point out, sustainable – way to lose weight. When dieters reduce their calories by too much, their body will interpret the lowered calories as a famine and invoke the “famine response” by shedding muscle instead of fat. (The body wants to hang on to fat to use as fuel during the “famine”.) The other aspect of the famine response is that your body will slow its metabolic rate, meaning you need fewer and fewer calories to maintain your weight. This is why you should only drop your calories by 10-30% lower than your maintenance level, so that you lose fat slowly while preserving as much muscle as possible. The other important aspect of weight loss that women in particular often overlook is weight training – it’s essential to maintain your lean muscle mass which boosts your metabolism.

You didn’t mention the type of exercise your mother is doing, but if she is only doing cardio, and eating what sounds like far less than she needs, it’s not surprising that her body needs less calories than it used to. She would be well advised to start a weight training program and slowly increase her calories to maintenance level (to let her body know it’s not really starving) then cut back by 10-30% so she can start losing again. It also sounds as though she may not be eating enough protein which is essential for muscle growth.

So yeah, without knowing any more about you mother’s situation and from what you’ve described I agree with your view that “it’s an unhealthy obsession with weight, not a healthy lifestyle”.

The point of my lengthy post is to point out that not every person who is maintaining a substantial weight loss is living the kind of life you describe.

The problem with this idea is that sometimes (often?) “dedication and long-term commitment” means “dedication and long-term commitment to strict calorie restriction and intense exercise that impairs your ability to enjoy life rather than improving it.” People who lose weight and then regain some of it may have only lost as much as they did originally because they put serious restrictions on themselves that are impossible to maintain longterm. It’s not because they gave up or lacked willpower or couldn’t stop eating junk food. I speak from experience and from knowing people who lost weight through extreme restriction and exercise and then gained some of the weight back when they returned to normal eating and exercise habits (meaning NOT overeating and being inactive, just not restricting and exercising constantly). I’ve watched my mother struggle for years trying to lose the same few pounds over and over again because the only way for her to maintain her weight loss is to eat nothing but salads and Lean Cuisine lunches and exercise an hour a day, 5 days a week…and even then she complains that she’s only maintaining and can’t lose any more. To me, that’s an unhealthy obsession with weight, not a healthy lifestyle.

I think the reason so many people just can’t comprehend this idea that most dieters regain in the long-term is that it takes the wind out of their sails. So many people are so emotionally invested in their pursuit of a “healthy” (that is, socially acceptable) weight that it’s a stinging blow to tell them they’re doing themselves more harm than good and they’ll likely gain the weight back when they stop flogging themselves. Which is not to say anyone should stop delivering those stinging blows; just that I understand where the defensiveness comes from, and it’s really a sad result of society’s programming.

I’m sorry, but there is. The fact that 95-98% of dieters regain *doesn’t* mean that losing weight and keeping it off is impossible – just that it requires dedication and a long-term commitment.

And “requires dedication and a long-term commitment” is *not* the same as impossible.

If you dislike the whole dieting mentality, or don’t want to diet, that’s your decision. But stop spouting this line because (barring medical problems) it just isn’t true.

Acceptance does not mean without judgment. I believe it means we can not like something and still accept it because we choose to do so. If you are fat but a good person with a good heart, do I accept you? Yes I do and that is within me, you can’t refute it. But that doesn’t mean I can tell you that I find being fat a situation I want to be in and I myself am actively trying to lose weight.

Everyone is basically arguing over what acceptance is and I think it is a personal issue. But if the FA movement is expecting that acceptance comes with no criticism? That I can’t understand.

Anyway, I was a good person when I was fat. I like to think that I still am a good person. I have no issue accepting myself, when I was fat, and still saying that being fat was less than ideal.

If you’re happy and healthy, that’s great. If you want to lose weight, that’s okay too. Not required. Not necessary. It may not even make you healthier, although from personal experience it generally seems to. But if you want to, that’s just fine.

People should be accepted, regardless.