First, there was the 14-year-old who wanted to know how to feel beautiful. Then, the 16-year-old athlete dealing with bulimia. Here’s another e-mail from a young woman (this time she’s 21) looking for some support and help from Big Fat Deal. Bolding mine.
So I really don’t know how to start this e-mail. I go by Ambular on BFD and here I find myself crying my eyes out at 2:41 in the morning and have no idea where to reach out to. Everyone on the blog seems so supportive and I was hoping maybe I could get some insight. I am 21 years old and have been held back by my weight for my whole life. I was teased constantly in school, to the point where I had to drop out of regular high school and am currently working towards my high school diploma from a local community college. I have never experienced the normal things girls do at my age. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even been kissed. The few friends I have are very supportive of me, but don’t truly understand what I’m going through and I feel almost awkward going out with them because my lack of experience at age 21. How do I explain to them that I have never dated anyone, let alone had a simple first kiss when they’ve been in mutilple relationships and one is even engaged? I just feel so alone and like I’ll never progress from where I am now. It’s depressing to think that in this day and age, 16 year olds have more romantic experience then me. I apologize for being a bother…I just needed to reach out to someone. Thanks so much for listening.
You’re quite welcome, Ambular. I was honored to get this e-mail. It reminded me of an old Vine letter answered by Sarah Bunting back in the day. Sarah’s answer is not an exact fit for your problem, but it sounds like you have low self esteem that is holding you back—not just romantically, but in other ways (like interfering with your education). That’s something that talking to a good therapist can really help you with. Sometimes people need a little bit of help to start putting themselves out there.
As for the romantic angle… well, among other things, I dated a gay guy in high school. “Make out with a gay guy” is probably not the best advice to give you. Well, it’s not the worst advice, either, now that I think of it. But before you head out to your city’s Castro District, click the comments button, and read on.
Posted by mo pie