First, a slight meta note: I’m having some back-end issues with the blog, so posting may be a little spotty this week as I try to clear it up. In the meantime, I’ve been sitting on this article that inky sent me while I was out of town; it’s by local writer Violet Blue.
[E]very woman on the Internet gets called slutty and ugly and fat (to put it lightly) no matter what; all we have to be is female… The problem is, with so many women I talk to, the trolling is effective. The number of times I’ve talked down a crying girlfriend after she’s been trolled in her comments about being fat, ugly, skanky, slutty or stupid is higher than I can count (no matter what she writes about).
I’m actually really sad that I haven’t saved some of the excellent troll comments we’ve gotten here, calling me all of the above. And a lesbian. I’ve even gotten some really vitriolic comments, believe it or not, on book reviews. (Speaking of which, I can’t believe Violet Blue left out “you’re just on the rag.” That is a classic.)
She goes on to quote two very wise women, and let me pass on their advice to you. First, Bombshell Betty:
“I don’t think people learn through words, they learn through experience. The best thing to do is get rid of the critics. Turn off the TV when it’s talking about some celebrity’s weight issues. Stop listening to your mother or your friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse when they make comments about your weight. Hang out with people who think you’re hot! What I have always noticed in my own life and when I am watching other people is that ‘when you feel sexy, you are sexy.’ Period. The end.”
Second, Margaret Cho:
In Margaret Cho’s “Beautiful” tour, she talks about recently being on a radio show and having the host ask her point-blank, live, on the air, “What if you woke up one day, and you were beautiful?” When asked, he defined beautiful as blonde, thin, large-breasted, a porno stereotype. Cho says, “Just think of what life is like for this poor guy. There’s beauty all around him in the world, and he can only see the most narrow definition of it.”
The moral of this story is, don’t let the man, or trolls, or John Ridley (who is apparently famously a misogynistic moron) get you down. Surround yourself by people who think you’re hot? That’s here! Outstanding.
(And I’d love to know: have you gotten any entertaining troll comments? If so, tell us about them. I’ll send the person who got trolled in the most amusing way a prize. No kidding. I need the entertainment.)
Posted by mo pie