Comments on: Make Me A Match

By: Nat

Nat — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:35:30 +0000

all I can say is that the ignorance of people astounds me

and ms. ingrid, you are an ignorant anti-semite, if I believed in hell I would tell you to go there!

By: Cindy

Cindy — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:49:15 +0000

Oh, my.

I was the person who refered to the cult of virginity, and I certainly did not apply it to any particular religion. I definitely wasn’t thinking about Jewish customs around menstruation.

I repeat, I did not intend to imply that any religion was a “cult.” I wasn’t even thinking about that.

I was just saying that I have encountered a range of religious orthodoxies that particularly enforce rules about women’s bodies. And that, consequently, it isn’t particularly surprising to me to see Mo Pie’s post about matchmaking and women’s weight.

I really, really wasn’t slamming anyone.

By: Arlene

Arlene — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:20:05 +0000

In regard to mccn’s above comment:

I see your point, and while it is interesting to think about, I think the two issues are totally unrelated. It’s like saying African American women shouldn’t go on diets because of all the starving people back in Africa. Ridiculous. And offensive.

By: mccn

mccn — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:33:36 +0000

I also disagree with and was rather upset by Ms. Ingrid’s above comment (I’m a Jewish person) – but, on the other hand, one thing that always made me question dieting, when I did, was a presentation by a concentration camp survivor I attended as a kid. She said, “if you have lived through the Holocaust like I did, you will never go on a diet.” That always made me think – why should I be struggling to deprive myself of things, when having sufficient – more than enough – food is a true blessing in this world. Not only because of the Holocaust, but because of the millions of people across the planet who simply don’t have enough to eat, for one reason or another. Wasn’t it being a bit ungrateful for my good fortune to diet? And couldn’t that thought motivate me to maybe help address some of the problem, to think creatively about how to appeal to people about it, et c? So, while I personally did not like the comment itself – I think the ideas it can bring to mind are interesting to think about.

By: Ms Ingrid

Ms Ingrid — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:43:50 +0000

“On what planet is saying this kind of thing acceptable?”

ever heard about the 1st Amendment and on what planet it exists?

By: Weetabix

Weetabix — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:16:55 +0000

Wow, who knew this topic would be so provocative?!

By: Hannah

Hannah — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:54:09 +0000

I just would like to add that contraception IS ALLOWED for orthodox women, in any form (pill, implant, whatever). I also want to say that the jewish orthodox man learns that what is more important is to give pleasure to his wife, it’s even said that “no man should turn down the sexual demand of his wife”.
As for the cycles, we do believe that it’s better to refrain from sex dureing menstruation and days after, I won’t go into the details here for I’m sure you can find a lot on google, but this has nothing to do with a woman being dirty or soiled during menstruation. All I can say is from my experience : refraining from sex during certain period of time has made my couple’s intimacy really strong, and has helped us both to learn how to really communicate without sex, and to open up to one another. I undestand how this could be shocking for some people. There is a variety of things that shock me in other religions, and in general in the world. But there is no way this litte irk of ours is a feminism matter, or a man over woman domination thing.
Thanks for manking corrections !
Shabbat Shalom to my fellow jewish readers !

Hannah

By: anna

anna — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:54:02 +0000

Hey Ms. Ingrid, go fuck yourself.
“How can Jews even bring up anything that relates to eating/starving after what happened to them?!”
What…the hell…is…WRONG with you? On what planet is saying this kind of thing acceptable?

By: Pippa

Pippa — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:28:53 +0000

Ms. Ingrid: “I am so angry than almost tempted to say something rascist [sic]…?” You just did. Although I’d call your comment more ignorant than racist. I doubt the Nazis were starving concentration camp inmates because they didn’t live up to German beauty standards.

By: plonit almonit

plonit almonit — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 05:55:08 +0000

I am an Orthodox Jew, went to Jewish school for elementary and high school, and our teachers all talked to us about eating disorders… I’ve never seen anything like this in my community, and I’ve seen a lot of girls get set up (including myself!) where weight was not at all a factor. And the guys have tons of criteria to meet, as well: if he studies Bible studiously, every day, if he can support a large family, if he is generous, good with children, etc. I once heard of a match where weight was mentioned as an issue on the man’s part, but never on the woman’s. In fact, my boyfriend’s mother actually talked to me about finding places to shop near where they live (we are both 16/18).

My experience with the Orthodox Jewish world is that they have about the same issues that the rest of the world has, eating disorders included, but I don’t think they are that much more or less prevalent. There are good people everywhere, and there are shallow people everywhere, too.