I used to be really good at flirting, and at the time, I didn’t even know I was doing it! My friends and I were on a trip in Vegas (not drinking or partying, keeping it totally clean) and they both commented on how flirtatious I was being. I said “What are you talking about? I’m just trying to be friendly.” I had always associated flirting with loud gum chewing, twirling hair and annoying peals of laughter. I didn’t know that the smart-alec comments I would make to strangers was flirting in their eyes.

My problem now is that I’m more shy than I used to be and now whenever I have to think about flirting while someone is flirting with me, I usually mess it up. So my word of advice, don’t over-think about it, just do whatever works best for you at go at your own pace.

The only way to find out if someone likes you is to put yourself out there. Ask the person out. If they say no, then that’s a pretty good sign they are not interested.

About flirting with other girls…I wish I could figure out signals from girls, because I have been interested, but I’m used to the guy making the move. Guys are so obvious in comparison.

I have no advice for you, because I’m still trying to figure this out myself. But I hope that we both can gain that confidence people are talking about above.

Anyway, it was good to read that I’m not the only one who is afraid of being mocked when a guy pays attention to me – not good for the other women that feel that way, of course, but good to know that I’m not alone. I definitely recognize what Sophie (?) called the ‘fat girl bristle’ as well – I tend to expect the worst from people at all times. I’ve gotten some crap about my appearance from men in the (recent) past, too – a boyfriend who told me ‘You’re not pretty – models are. You’re not’, a classmate who called me ugly on a web site, a friend who warned me that so-and-so probably wouldn’t be interested in me because he liked ‘beautiful girls’, a guy from my dorm who told my friend, in my presence, that another guy had referred to her as ‘the blonde girl from ___, you know, the cute one’ to distinguish between her and me. Et cetera, et cetera – and there are many more examples of people of both sexes pretending to like me who in fact talked shit about me behind my back. I find it hard to trust people for these reasons and my size only makes matters worse. On good days, I am convinced that I at least have a pretty face, and that I could look nice and worthy of attention if I had better clothes (if only I still lived in the US, where plus-size clothing is readily available and decent-looking), but on bad days, of which today is one, I can only think of how I need to drop somewhere around ninety pounds to become tolerable. I have had long-term relationships – I am in one now, so technically I don’t even need flirting advice ;) – but I can’t help but think that my boyfriend is an anomaly, the only man in the whole wide world to find me attractive, and that I should not get my hopes up about other men looking in my direction, since they’re probably only staring at me because I’m so fat. Le sigh. FA has made me feel slightly more empowered, slightly better about myself, but living in a country in which the ‘obesity epidemic!!!’ hysteria and the concomitant fat-hatred is a more novel phenomenon, it’s hard to hear the FA voice over the voice of the world around me.

And then i had an epiphany, I don’t have to live like this! Why waste so much energy on hating myself?? I don’t have a confined view of whats attractive, why on earth would everyone else??
Once you start having a positive outlook your whole view of yourself changes and you really do start loving your body! And it really doesnt take a long time, after about a month I was really happy!!
So now I’m confident, I love my body, and when I’m out with my friends (one of which is a model) I always get approached by people first…
No one is ugly, there is no such thing. And there is no such thing as leagues!!

It’s heavenly and hellish at the same time, dammit.

Oh an interesting thing is that my most recent admirer is a very good looking guy who is very critical of how girls look, and who has only ever been attracted to the typical thin, athletic body type. But he told several people that he just finds my confidence really attractive and sexy!
Seriously, just be proud of your body and confident!! Literally has ever failed for me!

I suppose I know that a man is flirting with me if he’s looking at me. I’ll flirt with almost anyone that looks at me twice. Most of my flirting has taken place while I was in a serious relationship so most of it is fun, not serious.