Comments on: Anorexia Is Hott

By: C

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 23:55:26 +0000

From what I’ve observed it’s unfortunately true, though. While many guys claim the contrary, the women most of them seem to like the most are the ones who fit more with the media’s ‘ideal’: white (or close to it), taller than ‘average’, larger, fake breasts, tanned skin, longer, lighter hair, lighter eyes, skinny or at least really thin, fuller ‘pornstar’ lips and a small butt that somehow looks big and round.

By: Matty

Matty — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:09:51 +0000

I was on my way to work this morning on the train, and I overheard these two young men talking about this woman, the first saying how hot she was. The second guy turned toward him and said “But she’s so skinny! I’d be afraid to snap her if I was on top. I personally, like a girl with meat on her”. It was just so refreshing to hear this from a mans mouth, that wasn’t just being said to make a magazine happy, or a “survey”. It was believable, and just proves that not all men find the ’skin and bones’ look sexy.

By: Shanny

Shanny — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:55:27 +0000

I have no problem with men and women finding thinness appealing as long as there are people who find the opposite to be attractive. I agree that having a thin woman as a partner in today’s society is a class distinction. For all men, be they rich or poor, having a skinny woman on their arm is regarded as the ultimate achievement. I don’t think there are as many issues with taking a larger woman to bed as there are with dating one. I had a “friends with benefits” relationship with a man many years ago who fell in love with me but would not start seeing me exclusively due to his shame of being with a larger woman. Consequently, I moved on and got married. We have managed to stay good friends and every once in a while, he says that the biggest mistake he ever made was letting me go. He just couldn’t bring himself to be with me because of the way others would view him. It makes me sad how many men are missing out on the possibility of love because they are so ashamed to be with a bigger woman. Beauty really does come in all shapes, sizes, colors, classes, etc. and though I think many people understand this, they cannot reconcile how they feel with how they’re percieved by others.

By: kati

kati — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 22:50:13 +0000

Even after reading all of these wonderful, varied responses, this article still made me feel a little sick to my stomach. Mostly, because I’m recovering from anorexia, and when I was at my thinnest, I /was/ noticed. I was hit on. Men were nicer to me, cutesier towards me [which can be a bad thing as well] and treated me like I was this… eensy treasure. I was stared at on buses, flirted with in checkout lines… People in general were nicer- not just men. Old women smiled and called me honey, passing strangers would ask if I needed help with my groceries.

I know for a FACT, simply because I have FAITH in the male persuasion, that this is not a worldwide phenomenon. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and had my mind spun. I’m engaged to a wonderful man who’s been with me through fat, thin, fat, fatter, thin and fat, and has never wavered.

Why am I posting about the ‘truth’ of this article based on my own experience. then? Because this feels really really horrible when you’re one of the few mentally bruised individuals struggling with an ED who DID experience a rise in interest. This article shook me up- it scared me, honestly, made my stomach churn. It’s horrible, triggering, and if I saw it anywhere but this website, I’d be crafting a food journal right now, and planning a full day of veggie broth and crackers.

By: littlem

littlem — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:16:36 +0000

“I have a friend who is 5 foot 6, 135lbs and gets told she is too fat in NY. ”

Megan, who is telling this poor girl this?

Is she getting it from guys? Or girl “frenemies”?

By: purpleshoes

purpleshoes — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:22:24 +0000

Oh, ew.
I think you hit the nail on the head with “status symbol”, though. I don’t think for one second that male desires are independent of the enormous amount of media that directs and trains the male gaze towards “appropriate” objects. In fact, I get the general impression (from real-life friends, even) that some men feel shamed when they’re skinnier than their girlfriends, and, coming from a region with lots of poor people, that’s a class thing. Men who eat foodstamp food get skinny, women who eat it get fat, it’s some sort of strange pasta-based chemistry.

There’s also the strange gendered power dynamic that our culture heaps on sexual expression – I think being physically larger / stronger than their female sex partner is one of those cultural expectations that guys find it really hard to shake.

By: Stacey Stardust

Stacey Stardust — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:37:27 +0000

[i]I think that our whole culture is geared towards women hating themselves NO MATTER what their size. It’s Hate At Every Size, if you will.

You’re never thin enough, until you’re too thin. If you’re thin, your breasts aren’t big enough. If your breasts are big and you’re thin, then obviously your breasts are fakes and you cheated your way into that body.[/i]

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week… I (size 22-24) recently introduced a friend (size 14-16) to FA, and she said it kind of sounded like ‘giving up’ to her, because saying ‘fine, I’m just the way I am’ as a fat person is easier than losing weight. I disagree, exactly because hating yourself – as a woman – no matter what your size is so ingrained in our culture.

Anyway, my question to fellow fat girls would be: how exactly do you know a guy is hitting on you? This may sound like an incredibly dim-witted question, but I never got hit on a lot when I was a size 12-14 (my ’skinny time’ ;)) and I certainly don’t think I get hit on at all now. When a guy does pay attention to me, I tend to think he’s mocking me… It’s not that I haven’t been with men, because I have, but I’ve always made the first move (something I wouldn’t dare do anymore).

By: Karen D.

Karen D. — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:55:33 +0000

Jesus H. Christ. I could write a book on how differently men treat me as a size 8 than they did as a size 22. (A stylish 22, mind you!) The way they look at you, listen, (or pretend to), laugh at your eccentricities… all different. The kicker is that these are the same men who would see me around campus when I was fat, who knew me at leat by sight, who treat me differently and go out of thier way to say cute shit now. All very interesting. ANd all to no avail, as I am a lesbian.

– And lesbian women are no better than men in thier preference for thinner girls.–

I could only imagine how male approval increases for the truly thin. Am currently reading the article.

By: MeganWestbrook

MeganWestbrook — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:16:03 +0000

New York standards are ridiculous. I have a friend who is 5 foot 6, 135lbs and gets told she is too fat in NY. Move to Philly or Houston…she would be a goddess. lol

By: crinkletoes

crinkletoes — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:13:34 +0000

I know I’m late, but here’s my 2 cents: I get hit on. A lot. I’m a fat girl, and I have fat legs. I wear skirts a lot, and I strut my stuff. It has everything to do with confidence, and nothing to do with weight. The more confident and cute I look, the more men (of ALL backgrounds) hit on me. I found that I got hit on/stared at left and right when walking down through the financial district (I work in SF) with my hair in a ‘fro and a cute red skirt with heeled boots. The suit and tie guys looked as much as the construction worker guys. (they just weren’t rude enough to whistle) I also get hit on by the guys in my office. I’m not trying to blow my own horn (well, maybe a little) BUT I want to decisively trample all over this stone-age article/idea about men preferring skinny/anorexic/(insert adjective here) women. Most men? They like women. (Straight men, that is) =P