Diet Motivation!
We all know there are people who bitch at their fat spouses for gaining weight, and gym owners who berate and shame fat people. And don’t forget random people on the street who yell things and throw garbage at the overweight and obese. In case that just isn’t motivating enough for you, we now have the talking “diet tile” that you put on the floor in front of the fridge.
[Y]ou go to the kitchen in between meals, stop in front of the the refrigerator to see what you can nib on and it will shout something like “Watch out for those extra pounds!” or “Beware of the cold pizza monster!” or something like that… These infernal Diet Floor tiles have weight sensors and a CPU that controls different parameters. They can even detect individual people and record their activity in front of the fridge, as well as personalizing it to shout different messages according to the person on top.
The twenty-first century equivalent of the fat bikini photo, this device is no doubt meant to dissuade you from eating the ice cream and chocolate frosting and cake and Oreos that all fat people stuff their fridges (and their faces) with on a regular basis. Am I right? What a fantastic idea!
Via Elastic Waist.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Fatism, Science, Weight Loss
Man, I would have loved something like this when I was anorexic. There’s nothing like inanimate objects berating you and making you feel like crap to help you get thinner.
I would prefer it if it just mooed at me. Succinct. Plus I like cows.
ugh. I mean, besides the whole thing about the assumption that all fat people do is stuff their faces all day long, what if you were just going to the fridge for a bottled water? I guess that makes you fat, too.
Sorry, but if someone got one of those, and it started yelling at me, I’d lay on the floor and eat oreos right into its little inanimate face.
First, lol at Angie eating “oreos right into its little inanimate face.” :D
Second, it would take me all of 2 of those nasty messages being said for me to rip said item off the floor OR, if it was not removeable, then I would simply have to grow longer arms or open the fridge while straddling said tile. I can be crafty….you know in between all that eating and not exercizing…
What about a tile that instead compliments you or offers recipe suggestions? Like “ooo how about Squash tonight?” “Oh man don’t you have some thawed chicken breasts? Those would be great with some basil pesto!”
Now THAT I would find motivational! :D
Totally stupid idea.
If I had that device, I would just grab my cordless phone, step over to a section of floor that wasn’t wired to berate me, and order some fucking carryout.
I’d just tell it to shut the heck up. Or I’d taunt it – is that the best you got? BRING IT ON!
I’ve heard it all, and I’m immune now.
yep. I’d definately taunt it and see how far it can go. This would never work on me, i’d just eat in defiance.
Hey – did it say it can “detect different individuals and record their activity in front of the fridge?” Yay – Big Brother!
I would prefer it if it just mooed at me. Succinct. Plus I like cows.
A girl I know has one of those. It sits in the fridge and everytime you open it, it moos. Anytime I was at her house I had to remind myself that it wasn’t my property to keep myself from smashing it into the ground.
That is so ridiculously stupid.
Seriously? :-/
I said it before and I’ll say it again. I won’t take that kind of sh*t off of people, and I’m sure as heck not gonna take off my flooring.
no, seriously, guys, this is fantastic entertainment. And to make it stop all you have to do is stay on it until the batteries wear down.
Or, y’know, grab a handy pipe wrench and go Office Space on it. But I still like just standingo n it wearing it out. Especially at the office.
I see a lot of comic value in yelling across the house “Hey! The disembodied voice says I’m fat! And if the disembodied voice says it, it must be true!”
You might like these: http://flickr.com/photos/kake_pugh/2278357962/ and http://flickr.com/photos/kake_pugh/2277559339/
Wow. O_o
“…. I’d taunt it – is that the best you got? BRING IT ON! “
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha!!!!
*gasp*
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I wonder if they’ll come out with an electrified version. Step in front of the fridge and get shocked. Or maybe a trip wire that shoots off arrows like in Indiana Jones….
I’m with whyme63. I don’t even have the patience to deal with the fat hating people. I’m so not going to have to take extra time to deal with fat hating flooring.
I just had a roomie from college move in with me.
He rotates between keeping me honest and forcing oreos down my throat.
Sweet maybe next they can make a chair that screams “YOUR CRUSHING ME FATTY” when you sit down. If you are to the point where you require a talking floor you should probably rethink the whole diet thing, or you are very lonely and should get a cat. Did it not occur to anyone that this is completely insane.
Besides if i want something to tell me how fat I am I’ll listen to the voice in my head.
How long will it take for someone to come up with a ’smart’ fridge that barks insults at you as you reach for the chocolate milk? Or tells you the calorie count of the food you remove from it (That ice cream you have in your hand is 500cal per 100ml serve, FATSO! Put it back!)?
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
Heh. On the positive side, FA people simply won’t buy such nonsense. I remember in “The First Wives Club” Bette Midler’s character had pictures pasted on her fridge of hugely fat women – and at least once she gazed at them and closed the fridge. Sigh. The things people do to themselves to achieve the unachievable.
Meghan–
This is sooo good:
“if i want something to tell me how fat I am I’ll listen to the voice in my head.”
Dude, this is harsh. Do you know how many times it would shriek at me, just in the process of making supper? It would make me cry, even though I was just assembling a stir-fry. So much healthier to taunt it.
My best friend who cycles between being a binge-eater, an anorexic, and bulimic has a little police officer magnet on her fridge that yells, “Step away from the food!!!” or something like that. I keep asking her to take it down because there is no way that it’s healthy, but she just says it makes her laugh.
So the house appliance protecting the fridge from us fatties is definately nothing new. I just love that even my home can make fun of me now!
Man, I wish someone would come up with a tile or throw rug you could put in front of the mirror, so that when you stand on it, it says, “Hey, you’re beautiful/smart/lovable!”
Now that is a piece of flooring I could get behind!
Can I get one for beside the bed? Think of all the things it could say…
Ha! A floor tile that says: Doggone it! You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and, doggone it, people like you!”
Dude. There’s a whole mess of talented people dreaming this shit up and making it…. What a waste of energy! I mean, this is actually a sophisticated piece of machinery. I just can’t get my head around it. I just feel like getting all Obi Wan on those folks and trying to lure them away from the Dark Side… Couldn’t they create something with a little more purpose? What does that look like on a resume? Insulting Floor Tile Developer? What? And the saddest part of all is that some poor woman is actually going to plunk down the cash to buy one. WTF is wrong with this society?! Yargh!
This is crazy. People are now making diet-friendly things? I don’t even think the tile is friendly in the first place, even motivational. It’s disguisedly become a medium for killing self-esteem.