Wow. I don’t know what to say. Usually when I reach out for help I don’t get a response. But then I went to the bfd blog and Shapely Prose and it was like “HOLY SH*T!!!” basically. I read through them and after a while I started crying (boo! I’m such a crybaby…) I mean…never before have I felt like someone UNDERSTOOD. I could FEEL the connection between myself and those who replied. It was overwhelming.I felt so happy.And I feel so hopeful. I think I’m going to reread some of those posts everyday.
After all that reading and thinking and FEELING…I looked in the mirror. There she was pimply face, uneven skin-toned, muffin topped me. I grabbed my belly and gave it a squeeze. It was very soft and warm and for some reason that made me smile XD. I poked at all the flaws on my face a body and frowned at my oily skin and picked at my dark spots. I still don’t like those parts. BUT I have a GREAT ass, and soft hands and skin and beautiful hair. I have gorgeous brown eyes and pretty pink lips. I realised that all of my flaws were being MAGNIFIED by my perception on beauty through the industries eyes.
Now when I look in the mirror I think, “Hey, You’re actually kinda hot!”
So what if I’ve got a tummy pooch! So what if my nose is a little too big. So what if my legs jiggle when I walk, and my thighs rub together whenever I move. I’m 14! I’m young! What am I doing thinking so negatively!
Now…I know this little high of mine won’t last for long…Sooner or later I’m gonna look in the mirror and think I look like I’m 8 months pregnant. But…then I’ll read the bfd blog replies again and remember how beautifully DIFFERENT I am.
Miss mo, I think I’m on the way to loving the girl in the mirror. I think I’m ready to make her my new best friend. I’m ready to accept myself. I’m ready to OWN myself.
I think I’m ready to be happy!
Thank you thank you thank you thank you soooooo much! I think you posting my email on your blog has made a major impact on my life. Actually…I think you posting my email has STARTED my life! (Hehe! I feel so happy!!)
The industry doesn’t own me anymore! I’m free! All those girls in my class who gossip about me can shove it! They’re no better (or worse) than I am. I don’t think I’ll ever look at them as the “popular” ones or the “beautiful” ones anymore. Cause their views of themselves are just as f*cked up as my view of myself.
I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow! ‘Cause tomorrow I’m not gonna think “People think I’m ugly therefore I’m ugly” tomorrow I’m gonna walk in that school and think “Hey, I think altogether I look pretty good , so those kids can either accept it or kiss my (fine!) ass.”
Thank you Miss Mo Pie and the BFD blog. I think I’m starting to “like” myself
Now when anyone asks “why did you start your blog?” I can just point them to this entry. Thank you to all you wonderful people for commenting here (and a certain BFDiva who shall remain nameless, who has purchased a gift subscription for our 14-year-old to Bitch magazine).
We made a difference.
Posted by mo pie