I just wish this morning shows hosts were not so bubbly when talking about things like suicide. As well as the fact that Juliet seemed to be asking really ignorant questions. At least they were willing to do the segment.

I eat healthier and probably less than she does, yet I weigh TWICE what she does. But she made a great observation once, she said

“People look at you, see you are overweight and automatically the assumption is that you are larger because you lay on the couch eating Cheet-os. However, no one ever sees me and says ‘Wow you are so thin. I bet you work out everyday and eat great!’.”

She is right. It really is all perception. For all the proclamations of the importance of health, health is not what is valued. Thinness is the only commodity that counts (in society). It doesn’t matter how it is accomplished.

The naturally thin individual is to be admired and envied. The individual who achieves thinness (by whatever means) is to be revered and commended.

And gawd knows the world lays enough crap on us for how we look or don’t look. We’ve got to be kind to one another. The new feminism, maybe?

I think in a lot of ways women (and in different ways men) are really trapped. We are blamed if we “let ourselves go” and we are vain if we worry too much about our bodies.

In another case, a guy I was dating decided that I must be eating secretly before our dates because I couldn’t finish the portions at most restaurants. To be fair, he had recently lost a lot of weight and had his own body image issues. (He also accused me of having low self-esteem for refusing to go to a tanning salon. If he’d asked, he’d have learned that I have a horrible phobia about skin cancer, being a light skinned person with a lot of moles.)

Yesterday I was at lunch with a friend of mine who happens to be extremely slender but who can scarf down a jumbo chili-cheeseburger with the best of ‘em.

We ran into some acquaintances, and as my friend’s food arrived, the acquaintance said, “I didn’t think you ate!!!”

After we finished the meal and walked out of the restaurant, my friend expressed how horrible it makes her feel when people accuse her of being anorexic.

I began to understand that my friend and I were a lot more alike than I thought – even though I’m always accused of scarfing down the Krispy Kremes.

Incidentally, I’ve lived in a town with a Krispy Kreme in it for almost three years and never stopped by.

I feel as though Ive nothing powerful to add as it has been said so much better by both you and commenters above.

Harriet’s last sentence? POWERFUL and thought provoking.

While it’s true that my daughter did receive compliments on her “figure” while emaciated, she–and we–also came in for a lot of disgust and assumptions: that she was a spoiled brat doing this for attention, that she was ungrateful, that she was selfish, that we had abused her (sexually or otherwise), that we’d neglected her, that we’d criticized her appearance one too many times, etc.

It’s hurtful and unhelpful for us to pit these e.d.s against each other, in our own minds or projecting that onto the general public. Believe me, there’s plenty of shame to go around here. We need to counter that by refusing to compare and compete for the most-to-be-pitied award.