This is true. While I’m not sure a lot of people would disagree with that fat people have the same set of human rights as others, decreeing that “all weight-loss attempts are Bad, Evil, and futile” in the same breath just links a human rights and discrimination issue with something rather different.

I used to be overweight, when I gained 30 lbs by eating out a lot in college and grad school. I do not recognize what a lot of people on FA blogs (including above) talk about. I’ve never hated my body. I’ve never dieted, as defined as eating according to some sort of strict plan that’s Good For You. I didn’t have a major identity crisis in puberty, I loved it – I could see I had something new and attractive, from boys’ reactions. I didn’t like being that overweight because it didn’t feel like ME. I didn’t recognize my body. There were skin folds where I had never had any. They really bothered me. And I had trouble doing things I’ve always done for fun, like skiing and hiking. So I stopped eating out so much, cooked like we did at home, and lost the weight. I do wish I didn’t have to cook EVERYTHING but eating out is pretty crazy, my experience is that there is a direct correlation between eating out and weight gain, at least for me.

If you have a really f-ed up relationship to your body and/or food, then I can see why some of this FA stuff can be cathartic for you and important to you. But linking human rights together with such issues makes the whole package seem irrelevant to me. They had me with human rights – they lost me with WAAAH I’M EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED. I’m sure they are, but why can’t I lose weight if it makes me happy and have no emotional baggage regarding weight loss?

I am not what many in the fatosphere would consider fat, but I’m not skinny either and since my chosen hobbies tend to attract a lot of small athletic types I’m nearly always the largest person in my circle. I’ve tried hard to never let my size stop me from doing anything I wanted to do. It’s not always easy in a society that idolizes the lean, but I’ve gotten really good at saying, “yeah, I’m fat, yeah I ride a bike, yeah I do it wearing lycra, so what?”

I believe in fat acceptance. I believe in HAES for those who, like me, like that sort of thing. I’m fine with people losing weight if they like. But above all I believe in freedom to do what you want… and that’s the reason I want to put a comment in this long past thread…

I want talk for a second about something Sarah said. Not the part about this site being anti-fat and certainly not the part about “science”, but this part:

“Am I not entitled to life because I make bad choices about my eating and exercise habits?”

I think sometimes in all the talk of HAES and trying to break the stereotype that ALL fat people got fat through their own ‘bad’ behavior we forget that, some fat people did and… well, so what?? I do all sorts of things that are bad for me. But the things that are probably most likely to land me in the emergency room are the ones society finds most acceptable. I ride a bike… not just a reasonable amount for fitness or commuting, but a lot. I ride what some would call obsessively. I ride hundreds of miles at a time (seriously… and, yeah, I’m still fat ;). I do all sorts of things that society admires, but that are, frankly, still terrible ideas, if one’s goal is to live a long safe life. I go to sea in tiny boats. I ride a motorcycle. I even occasionally jump out of a plane… and guess what? If I get hurt doing any of those things I damn well expect the various federal, state and local authorities to respond. I expect my insurance to cover my injuries. Even if I’ve keeled over from dehydration during the “Hotter than Hell 100″ (a notorious century ride in Texas, where it’s not just common, but practically guaranteed that a couple of people will bite the dust).

Did you know of the 35-40 million annual injury-related emergency room visits, approximately 10% are sports-induced (according to “A Comprehensive Study of Sports Injuries in the US” by American Sports Data Inc). A lot of fat people have health problems. So do a lot of athletes. No one needs to eat 20 doughnuts, but no one needs to jump out of a plane for kicks either. We all have our hobbies. I’m ok with yours, if your ok with mine.

Anyway, I think this is a great site and I appreciate all the honest and interesting dialogue.

After I finish exercising, I always feel great about myself. It makes me feel energized. I’m on pain medication and it makes me sleepy much of the time and my eating habits can become erratic. I’m trying to eat the best I can to keep my energy up and as a vegan be sure that I consume enough protein and fat each day. If I lose weight so be it, if I don’t so be it.

I keep a food journal because I love myself and I don’t want to spend my life in bed because my erratic eating and medication is causing me to have no energy. By watching what I eat and making sure I exercise regularly, I have the energy to live.

Like you, my journey has been one of self-acceptance: learning to love my body, myself, my emotions, even my “bad” characterisitics, like my tendency to abuse food. But acceptance does not mean that you also cannot change. I can accept that I abuse sugar, that once I start eating it I can’t stop, but that doesn’t mean that I have to keep abusing it. I can accept that I overeat certain foods, like my beloved tortilla chips, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stock my house with them. I can accept that my body has changed after four children, that it will never be what it once was at 19. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be healthy and strong in its 33 year old stage.

The great thing about being human is that we can change. Yes, there is a time and a place for self acceptance, and for recognizing what losing weight or a new haircut can and can’t do. Yes, they can give us a boost. No, they can’t change our internal mindsets: if you hate your body, losing weight won’t change that. You’ll only focus on something else as the target of your scorn—-your cellulite, wrinkles, or grey hairs.

So yes, start with self-acceptance. Love your body, as it is, now. But then honor your body by caring for it as excellently as you can. After all, isn’t love something that we do? Isn’t caring for our bodies love, in action? When I was overeating, binging on sugar, and was my heaviest, yes, I hated my body. But much of that hatred was because of the pain I had inflicted upon myself: my body was physical proof, the evidence facing me in the mirror that showed me all of the ways I treated myself so unkindly. That hurt, not so much because of the extra weight, but because of the emotional weight of my choices. But when I’m honoring my body with kindness, eating whole foods, abstaining from the sugar that makes me wacky, getting a balance of sleep and exercise, this shows on my body. Yes, I’m thinner, and healthier, but I also feel better, because I’m caring for my body instead of abusing my body.

No, I’m not perfect—who is?—but I try to make choices that honor my body for the gift it is: the vessel that houses my very soul.

I write a blog for women, Firstourselves.com, where I post body image tips every Thursday. A few months ago, I wrote about whether you can love your body and lose weight at the same time. I post it here for any readers who may find it helpful:

http://www.firstourselves.com/first_ourselves/2007/09/why-hating-your.html

Thank you for the thoughful discussion.

Best,
Karly Pitman
firstourselves.com

Thank you for the