Here is the comment I was responding to, from cathy:
What confuses me is the idea of this website. Mo called it a gateway to fat acceptance yet one of the contributers had gastric bypass and mo has a blog and has had for a few years dedicated to her attempts to lose weight?
I think body acceptance is great, but if you accept your body, doesn’t that mean you are not trying to change it? And if fat is not unhealthy, why the surgery and the diet struggles?
Perhaps a clearer message would help the haters- and help us that come here and don’t comment because we are not sure what will be considered appropriate or not.
I mostly love the posts and agree with a fair amount of them- but I have read some of fatfighters comments and thought she(he?) had some good points as well. And a fair amount of people seem to be really inspired by a few famous bloggers who wrote books that chronicle their weight loss- so I guess I am confused by the gateway to FA remarks.
Seriously not a troll or trying to be rude or insensitive- just really curious and confused.
And here is what I typed:
I really can’t speak to Anne’s decision to have gastric bypass, as she was my friend long before she decided to have the surgery, and it was her personal choice. But the person who writes the vast majority of the posts here is me. If you’re looking for the face of BFD, or the body of BFD, or what have you, the buck stops here.
As for my “weight loss” blog, I am conflicted about it, and prefer to think of it as a “food and exercise” blog instead of a collection of statistics, but I’m not going to pretend it never existed. I personally have emotional issues around food stemming from the way I was raised, and feel that I did become overweight in the first place via unhealthy eating. I have learned things from diets that I’ve been on—such as paying attention to what and how much I eat, or that my body does not react well to lots of sugar—and those things are valuable to me. Even if diets are a ripoff, and diets don’t work.
I think that the cycle of trying to lose weight and losing and regaining weight is something that many fat people have gone through, and I am no exception. I’m trying to learn to focus on the right things and learn how to eat—organic, whole foods, lots of veggies and lean proteins–although people might look at me and not believe that, because I’m “still fat.” I’m thinner than I used to be–but nobody cares about that, probably because I’m also not as thin as I used to be. But my cholesterol and blood sugar went down significantly last year, whereas my weight stayed basically the same, and that’s something I’m really happy about.
I’ve had BFD for almost four years now because I feel that step one is still self-acceptance, and we should all reject false ideals of beauty and “acceptability.” And I get really pissed off about bullshit movies like Good Luck Chuck that tell us fat women are undesirable, pitiable, and disgusting. My life would have been better as a teenager if I had even a small fraction of the self-esteem I have now, and my ideal reader is I guess the teenage me, and I’m trying to convince her she’s worth something.
I believe the fact that fat people get paid less and treated with less respect than thin people is a travesty. And I think it’s hardest on women, because I think there’s a strong element of sexism in the way girls and women, specifically, are treated—fat women, skinny women, in-between women who are constantly getting messages of “wrong” and “not good enough.” And you can see for yourself the hate that is directed towards fat people, just in the past few days. According to the world, we should… well, I don’t know. “Put down the ice cream.” “Put down the fork.” Eat a tapeworm. Do some speed. Magically not be fat.
Your questions are complicated. I personally think fat can be unhealthy in some cases, even if it makes me unpopular to say so. But I also think it’s demonized to a ridiculous extent. It is not an automatic arbiter of health, and the image of “a fat person” is so ludicrously skewed anyway. (America Ferrera is not fat, people.) I think there are many factors contributing to “health” that are harder to immediately see and judge. You can’t look at someone and know how many vegetables they eat, how fast they can run, if they get enough sleep, if they’re on drugs. But you can tell at a glance if they’re “fat” or “not fat” and then you (the general you, I mean) pass judgment on that. And I think that’s beyond unfair.
We’ve talked on this blog about all kinds of contributors to overweight—from genetics to sexual abuse to illness. It’s fucking COMPLEX, and people who are just like, “Die, fatties, die!” negate that complexity and simply make themselves look simplistic and dumb. Not to mention the fact that a person’s body is nobody else’s business, when it comes down to it.
I don’t know if I answered your questions at all. I know that fatism and fat hatred are wrong, wrong, wrong, but I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about so much else, and that may be reflected here from time to time. Other bloggers in the fatosphere are far more certain, far less equivocal. Which is why they’re the hard drugs, if you will, and I’m the blog equivalent of a bong hit.
I hope you feel your comments are welcome here. I really prefer people not to jump down each other’s throats, on either side of the argument; I like that there are people here who disagree with each other. And thanks for making me sit down and think about this and type this all out; I had no intention of writing a manifesto, but I guess here it is.
Posted by mo pie